Finding Home (17 page)

For once, things went my way. Nick started playing and the rest of the band came in, and when I started singing it felt okay. Actually, it felt better than okay — it felt great. The song helped me fly above all of the bullshit. I was free, lost in the melody. No one could hurt me. Certainly not Luke.

The song finally drew to a close, and I opened my eyes. I hadn’t even realised I’d shut them. To my surprise, Mr Davison stood there, watching us intently.

‘Now that’s the sort of performance you need to get a good end-of-year mark,’ he said. ‘Amy, your voice was perfect.’

‘Thank you.’ I blushed. I’d lost myself so completely in the song that I hadn’t even thought about how I sounded, just how great it felt to be belting out a tune again. I felt like I didn’t have a care in the world. I guess, in a way, I didn’t. There was certainly no one in the class I wanted to impress anymore.

When the bell rang, I trudged back to my desk, taking an eternity to close my bag and sort through my notes in the hope I’d be the last one to leave the room. After the way Luke and Nick had been acting, I doubted that would be hard, but I didn’t want to take any chances.

I squeezed close the final zipper and threw the bag over my back, turning to walk out of the room, when I saw him. Luke, the only guy left in the room, was blocking the doorway and looking right at me.

I put my head down and started walking, determined to just move past him and be done with it.

‘Amy, wait,’ he said as I was about to barrel past his shoulder. I swallowed, stopping in my tracks.
Keep walking
, I told myself, but the part of my brain that usually told my feet how to move seemed to have turned off. I was stuck.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked. He stepped in closer, too close for my liking. This being angry and remaining strong stuff was way harder than I’d thought.

‘I’m fine.’ I managed to keep my voice light and the tone level, but it was definitely a struggle.

‘I’m sorry about the other day with Coral. She was just so upset, you having a famous Dad and all, and I had to be there for her.’

‘Excuse me?’ Wait — what?! He honestly thought I’d fall for that?

‘She was jealous when she found out about your father, and I know she was already worried about you, what with the things people said about you hitting on me at Ashley’s, but —’

‘
You
hit on
me
!’ I hissed, pointing a finger into his hard chest.

‘I think we all know you’re the one who has a crush on me, Amy,’ he said. Luke moved even closer, until there was only the tiniest gap between our two bodies. ‘But it’s okay. We have something special.’

‘We don’t have anything,’ I said, but I could hear my voice. It didn’t sound nearly as venomous as I wanted. Luke must have thought so too, because a second later his hand was on my shoulder.

‘We will soon, though,’ he said. ‘Maybe we should skip next period and go hang out behind the canteen again.’

Oh. My. God. You have to be kidding me.

I flung his arm off my shoulder. For once, the touching of our bare skin did not cause tingles to run through my body, and I was so, so glad.

‘I don’t want anything to do with you,’ I said. The fury rose inside of me, my cheeks flushing a brilliant red. ‘Not next period, and not ever.’

‘What do you mean?’

Luke’s eyes were like saucers, like big questioning pools. I’d never seen anyone look so surprised before and, deep down inside, that was what I needed. I felt a wave of anger come crashing through me.

‘Why would I want to meet you behind the canteen after the way you led me on and then humiliated me in front of the whole school?’ I stepped further away from him. I could do this. Two more steps and I’d be in the corridor, home-free.

‘Because we have something special,’ Luke said slowly. ‘Because you’re the one for me, babe.’ His eyes pleaded with me, big, puppy dog eyes that begged for my forgiveness. ‘Because being with you was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.’

‘Really?’ I asked. I was in the doorway now, my back to the corridor. One more step and I was out of there. ‘Because having sex with you was one of the biggest non-events of my life!’

Okay, so it was a bold-faced lie, but I needed a win, and the moment was all mine. I watched his face furrow and then fold in on itself.

‘Amy…’

His voice had lost its volume and confidence and came out in a thin whisper. A twinge of guilt shot through me, and I realised I had to go before I did something stupid, like forgive him. I turned around and walked out into the corridor, finally alone.

Or almost alone. Because standing there, right outside the door, was Coral. And there was a sheet of glassy, silent tears pouring from her eyes.

* * *

At the Student Success program, I once again waited for Coral, although this time I was fairly certain she wouldn’t show. I thought of how I’d run from school only a week earlier because a guy I’d liked for four weeks had hurt me. Then I tried to multiply that feeling by a factor of 52. That, coupled with the questions and rumours that had spread through the school like wildfire, equalled a whole lot of hurt and pain that Coral would no doubt now be feeling.

After drawing in the margin of my paper for 15 minutes, I decided to head to the bathroom to kill some time. Walking through the school after-hours and seeing the corridors so deserted felt surreal. It was strange to think of that first day I’d come here —how I’d hated it then. I certainly didn’t love it now, but I’d finally reached a place of safety. It just sucked that it took the utter stripping away of my sense of pride to make that happen.

I walked into the dark of the bathroom and washed my hands, fiddling with my hair in the mirror. It was weird. I’d used to look at my reflection backstage at each of Dad’s shows and see such sadness, blaming him for all the hurt. Now, I felt less angry and — despite my recent heartbreak — happier.

The thought surprised me so much that I left the tap running longer than I should have. I shook my head at myself.
How things change.

I turned around to leave and was a foot away from the bathroom door when I heard it. A small, solitary, heart-shattering sob was coming from one of the cubicles.

I paused. I was in an empty school usually attended by over one thousand students, yet somehow I couldn’t help feeling, deep down in my gut, that the person crying was Coral.

Technically, I had a choice: I could walk through that door, pretend I’d never heard her crying, and head back to class. Coral and I weren’t exactly friends, and I was probably the last person she wanted to talk to right now.

But she had also fallen for the wrong guy and had been betrayed, just as I had.

‘Hello?’ I asked.

No reply. It didn’t surprise me, but I’d figured it was worth a shot.

I walked along the row of stalls, looking for the one with the occupied sign until I got to the far end. Bingo.

‘Coral? Is that you?’

Silence.

‘Coral, if you don’t answer me, I’m climbing over the wall and coming in,’ I threatened. It was hard not to laugh at the idea: me, a total Coral-hater, doing anything to try and make her feel better.

Apparently the last line got to her because the toilet door swung violently open, almost catching me in the face.

‘What do you want?’ she asked in a tiny voice. She looked a mess and nothing like the polished Coral I’d grown used to. She was sitting on the closed toilet seat, arms in her lap. Her face was stained, with red, blotchy patches around her nose and eyes, and her blonde hair had gone from fabulous to frizzy. Worse still, her eyes, usually the prettiest of blues, were now a stormy, dark colour. They were now emphasised by the blood red lines running through them.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked, for want of something better to say.
Stupid, Amy, stupid. Clearly she’s not.

‘What do you think?’ Coral snorted, and I nodded. Point taken.

‘I guess not,’ I said. Silence echoed between us, and I studied the concrete roof in desperation, searching it for answers. What was the right thing to say? What would help make it better?

‘I know it sounds stupid now,’ I said, ‘but I’m sorry.’

I meant it, too. Coral looked at me, and I hoped she could see the honesty in my eyes. After a few minutes that seemed to go on for hours, she looked away again.

Now there really was nothing left to say. I turned away and headed for the door again, ready to leave. At least I’d tried.

‘Luke was my first proper boyfriend.’

I stopped dead in my tracks.

‘When we got together, my dad had just left my mum.’ Little gasps punctuated her sentence, like every word was causing her pain. ‘Luke told me he’d always be there for me. That even though Dad had left me, h-he never would.’

I turned around at that. I raced back to the cubicle, catching Coral in the midst of full-blown sobbing. I put my arm awkwardly on her shoulder, hoping that was some comfort despite the rift between us.

‘He said we’d get married,’ Coral cried out as I stroked her hair. ‘And even though I-I thought that maybe something was going on, he’d always t-tell me everything was fine.’

‘Coral, I’m so sorry.’

She shook her head at me. ‘Not you,’ she said, ‘or not only you, anyway.’

There were others. I wasn’t at all surprised. Luke had cheated on Coral with multiple girls, breaking her heart into a million pieces. No wonder she was so suspicious and nasty when I’d first shown up on the scene. She’d already had cause for worry.

‘But this was the last straw,’ Coral sobbed. ‘No offense.’ She drew in a deep breath and sighed. Her eyes shot open and stared me down.

I felt horrible. How could I have done this to another human being? ‘Is there anything I can do?’

‘Don’t take him back.’

I was shocked. She wasn’t planning on still dating him, was she? Couldn’t she see that, if he had cheated on her with me and a whole heap of other girls, he’d probably do it again?

‘I won’t,’ I promised. I turned to walk out of the cubicle and then stopped. ‘Coral, you deserve much better than him.’

I said it with belief and utter conviction, simply because she did. No one deserved a scumbag like Luke. I got to the door again before Coral’s voice stopped me for a second time.

‘I’m sorry I told everyone about your dad.’ Her voice sounded quieter this time but more in control. ‘When Jade told me she saw you two check out of the hotel, I just had to use it. I wanted to make Luke less interested in you.’

What? Jade had been the one who’d revealed my Stevie D secret? To
Coral
?

‘Jade told you?’ My voice echoed my thoughts.

‘Yeah, she’s my cousin.’ Coral sniffed. ‘I took Kyle to a family thing once and she told Lily, so she kinda owed me some gossip in return. Why else did you think Lily hated me?’

It was a lot of information to absorb. Why hadn’t Lily just told me that? And how did I not know that Jade and Coral were cousins? It wasn’t that hard to believe. Both of them looked like the ultimate surfer chick, all blonde hair and golden skin. I just couldn’t believe that Jade, who I’d thought was my friend, would tell Coral my big secret.

And — oh God — why hadn’t I listened to Nick? I’d been so mean to him, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

I had a lot of explaining to do.

You better be coming tonight. If you’re not at my front door looking smokin’ hot by eight o’clock, I’m sending Kyle.

I read Lily’s text over and over again. After being outed as a famous guy’s daughter, abusing a guy who’d done absolutely nothing wrong, and seeing Coral’s heart break right in front of me, I’d relegated myself to social purgatory — but this presented me with a new problem. Even though I wanted to avoid parties like an anaphylactic wants avoid nuts, Lily was the current holder of the My Only Friend position, and since she was the host, I kind of felt like I should go.

‘Aunt Lou?’ I asked. She was in the kitchen, putting away the dishes, when I walked down the stairs. Lou’s shoulders hunched as I said her name, and I realised I still had a whole lot of repairing to do on the home front.

‘Yes?’ She paused from her work to look up at me. A smile was pasted on her face, but it was thin.

‘I’m going to a party tonight. Do you mind if I take some of your booze with me?’ I tried the honest approach.

‘What do you think your father would say?’ Lou paused.
Ugh. Apparently this isn’t going to be as easy as I’d thought.

‘I think what matters is being honest with you,’ I replied, trying to avoid the question. Lou rolled her eyes, and for a split second, I saw a glimpse of Mum in her.

‘That’s great, kiddo. I like that you’re being honest,’ she said slowly. ‘To be honest with you, though, you’ve given me no reason to trust you. You might be of legal drinking age — well, in a few weeks, anyway — but you’ve stolen from me, skipped school, and your dad tells me you still haven’t called him back.’

Hmm. I could see her point. It sucked that I could recognise that I was in the wrong.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ I muttered. I still wasn’t ready to talk to my Dad about it all. I really wouldn’t have been in this mess if I was still on the road. Or would I?

I walked to the front door and was turning the handle when I felt Lou’s hand on my shoulder.

‘Amy…’ Lou stopped me.

‘Yeah?’ I asked. I didn’t move, my hand still on the door.

‘Please be careful,’ she said. ‘I know that if you want alcohol, you’re more than capable of getting it yourself, but it’d mean a lot to me if you didn’t drink tonight. Or at least, not to excess.’

I turned to face her. She looked worried, her forehead drawn, her eyes heavy. I threw my arms around her, squeezing her body tight.

‘I love you,’ I whispered and then, quick as could be, I turned and ran out the door. She wasn’t my mother, but it was nice to have someone who cared.

* * *

‘Amy!’ Lily shrieked as I walked through the door. ‘You’re finally here!’

Judging by her slight slur and loud volume, she was already wasted. I smiled and checked out the scene.

Lily’s party was exactly what I’d expected it to be — crowded, especially given the small size of her house and Lily’s loose invite system. It seemed like everyone who was anyone was there.