Finding Home (7 page)

My pace quickened. I was eager to be there already so I could bag a seat next to Luke’s usual spot. I pushed the classroom door open and surveyed the room. It was empty, except for one person.

‘Amy.’ Nick nodded towards me as I entered into the room.

My heart sunk a little. I’d managed to avoid Nick since our encounter on the beach, scoring seats next to Luke in class and avoiding the takeaway shop like the plague. I was really going to have to start walking to class a little slower.

‘Hey.’ I smiled. ‘How you doing?’

‘Good, good. Just trying to download this song, but my iTunes isn’t connecting.’ Nick played with his phone, tapping the screen repeatedly in frustration.

‘That sucks,’ I said. ‘What are you trying to download?’

‘Uh, nothing. Nick shrugged, his cheeks reddening a little.

‘Oh, come on, you can tell me,’ I encouraged, curious to see what could have this outwardly cool guy so hot under the collar.

‘You wouldn’t know them.’

That was all it took. I lunged over, shoving past him and grabbing for the iPhone in his hands. He yanked it upwards and I went with it, pressing slightly against his body as I scrambled to get the phone.

I saw the black of his tattoo peeping out from underneath his shirt sleeves. There was something about it that I couldn’t ignore. I felt myself going red, too. I was so close to him, and being in such intimate proximity — close enough to count the freckles behind his ear — made it hard to concentrate.

I looked up at his eyes and found them staring right back at me, inches away from my face. I shivered. We were so close, almost lip to lip. I could hear his jagged breathing and knew mine was the same. He leaned in, ever so slightly, leaving only a few millimetres between us.

I jerked away. I couldn’t let this happen. Not only could a teacher, student, or Luke walk in us at any time, but it also wasn’t worth the potential pain. He’d only lead me on, then dump me for his art when it all got too much. He’d break my heart. Besides, he had a tattoo, so he was obviously older. What sort of 18 year old is still in high school? Getting involved with a guy who had a girlfriend somehow seemed like a far preferable option.

Wait, what the hell is wrong with me?

Nick must have felt my inner confusion because he loosened his grip on the phone and sat back down, this time in a seat that was angled away from me.

Thank goodness
.
It would never have worked between us.

Then I realised I was still holding the iPhone and looked down, just in time to see a colourful album cover flash up on the screen as ‘purchased’.

‘Elton John?’ I giggled. His music selection was completely at odds with his hard rock appearance. Even The Beatles would have been cooler.

‘I know, I know,’ he shook his head. He was still red, all the way up from his small but defined shoulders, to the place where his tanned skin met his dark, spiky hair. ‘I guess my dirty little secret is out.’

‘My mum and I listened to this album almost every week last summer.’ I grinned, remembering those warm nights in the back of the car.

‘Seriously? I didn’t think anyone else under 30 had heard of it.’ Nick raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. They really were the most piercing shade of blue. He was hard to look away from, I decided.

‘I have to admit, it’s not the kind of music I thought you’d like,’ I said, ‘but I approve.’

We sat in silence for a few minutes, waiting for everyone else to arrive. I unpacked my bag, pulling out my pencil case and putting it on the desk next to the one I was sitting at. If I set up there, I could casually slide over when people started to come, increasing my chances of sitting next to Luke and further away from Nick.

‘Look, I don’t mean to be rude but do you, um, like me?’ Nick asked. ‘Not “like” like, I mean — this is not going how I planned.’ He shook his head. ‘I mean, like as a mate. Are we cool?’

It was hard not to smile. Cool rock guy Nick looked incredibly flustered, his ears reddening, his eyes to the floor. Apparently, swapping desks, combined with the earlier pull away, hadn’t gone unnoticed.

‘No! Why would you think that?’ I replied. I didn’t really have a choice. It was better than saying, ‘No, I don’t want to like you because you’re bad for me. Instead, I’m focusing on seriously crushing on your friend and want to increase my chances by sitting next to him. I can hardly hit on him at lunch with his girlfriend there.’

‘Just since you joined our group.’ He shrugged, looking out the window. ‘We’ve been in this class together for a few weeks now, but you won’t sit next to me. Only Luke. I don’t want to sound weird or anything, but I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t done something wrong.’

I felt horrible and guilty, because I’d offended such a nice guy. Nick didn’t presume that I sat next to Luke because I had a crush, because Nick thought I was better than that. Clearly, he was wrong.

‘You’re getting worked up over nothing,’ I said lightly. ‘I didn’t even realise I wasn’t sitting next to you.’
Lie.
‘The reason I’m moving now is that I got asked to help some English students after class, and I need some time to prep.’ At least that wasn’t a complete lie. I’d always been good at English and, somehow, even though I’d come in halfway through term to work on a book I’d never read before, I’d not only shot to the top of the class, but the top of the grade. This had impressed my teacher so much that she’d asked me to help out the Student Success program she hosted after school.

The theory was that maybe I’d speak teenager a lot better than she did and be able to translate the painfully boring work for someone who just didn’t get it. It was super-geeky, but at least it meant I didn’t have to face Lou and the emptiness of my room too early in the day. There was only so much ordering of hot chips and watching Lily and Kyle make out I could take.

‘Look, I’ll sit next to you if you want, if it’s that big a deal,’ I added. I didn’t want to offend him, even though I’d much rather stay where I was.

‘It’s not a
big deal
.’ Nick shrugged. I realised it was the wrong choice of words.

‘I didn’t think it was, not like that, I —’

He started to laugh, a deep, throaty chuckle that made me want to smile along with him.

‘I’m reading too much into this, aren’t I?’ I asked, grinning.

‘Only because
I
was reading too much into where you were sitting,’ he said, laughing. ‘I shouldn’t have been so suspicious of your motives; I guess sometimes I just think way too much. Anyway, tell me about your nerdy English program. You must be pretty smart, right?’ There was no menace in Nick’s words, only a gentle teasing.

‘Not at everything.’ I twisted my hands in my lap, embarrassed. ‘Just English.’

‘You’re good at music, too,’ Luke said, catching the last part of our conversation as he strode across the room towards us. He jumped onto the seat to the other side of me and turned to stare in my direction with those big, brown eyes. I could have melted. Why, oh why, did I fall to pieces around him?

‘For sure,’ Nick agreed.

As I blushed, my cheeks turned the colour of tomato sauce. I almost didn’t notice as the rest of the class came flooding through the door all at once, like they’d been waiting for a secret signal. Mr Davison followed at their heels, looking like a border collie rounding up sheep.

‘Um, can we talk about something else, perhaps?’ I asked in a soft voice. As much as I enjoyed Luke’s praise — and, surprisingly, Nick’s too — it was not doing wonders for my skin. I doubted I’d ever been so red.

‘All right, class,’ Mr Davison said.’ Welcome. Let’s go back to our groups for the major performance. Amy, can I see you for a sec?’

I walked towards his desk with a heavy heart. While it had been years since I’d been in school, I still dreaded being called up to see a teacher.

‘Yes, sir?’ I asked in a meek voice when I got to his desk.

‘I wanted to chat with you about things at home.’ Mr Davison’s bushy black brows furrowed, creating ripples of worry across his tanned forehead. He looked genuinely concerned, almost like he cared. This was clearly not good.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Your Aunt Lou called the school about you,’ he said. ‘She’s worried you may be having some trouble coping with your mum’s passing.’

I felt sick. This was worse than any school-related misdemeanour: much, much worse.

‘I’m fine,’ I said through gritted teeth. I could feel my fists clenching.

‘Well,’ he continued, ‘I just wanted to let you know that we do have counselling available here in the office if you start to feel the pressure.’

Counselling? I’m being offered mental help?
I swallowed the insult. ‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine,’ I said and started to turn away.

‘Amy, don’t take this the wrong way. Lots of kids receive help,’ he said, sighing and running a hand through his curly hair. ‘You lost your mum, and you’re new to the school. The only type of person who doesn’t need counselling to help them with something like that is a superhero.’

I remained silent. I could tell this was just as uncomfortable for Mr Davison as it was for me, but I didn’t know what else to say. Did I need medical help? Was I going crazy?

No
, I told myself sternly.
I’m fine. Everything is fine.

‘Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.’ Mr Davison had given up the fight. ‘You know, I was worried when you chose to join Luke’s group, but I forgot what a good kid Nick is and how much you two would have in common. I think this was a good choice on your behalf, after all.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Chat with him and see for yourself.’ Mr Davison turned back to his book, dismissing me.

I walked back to the group. They were all fiddling with their instruments, tuning up — or, in Ashley’s case, trying to see how many times he could deftly twirl a drumstick in his hand before dropping it. I stared at Nick, trying to work out what we could possibly have in common.
Well, we both liked Elton John,
I thought, smiling.
Our eyes are kind of a similar colour, too
, so I ticked that off the list.

Nick hunched over his instrument, his long fingers tapping the strings gently. He was so graceful, so delicate. My fingers could never work like that.

‘Are you in trouble?’ Luke asked, interrupting my staring session.

‘No,’ I replied.

‘Is it grades? Because if it is and you need to borrow notes, use Nick’s. He’s like a musical genius, or something. I always borrow his notes when I’m off, don’t I, Nick?’

‘And sometimes even when you’re not,’ Nick said. There was an edge to his voice and his eyebrows had definitely narrowed. Maybe Nick and Luke weren’t as tight as I’d originally thought.

‘Ha-ha, yeah, whatever,’ Luke said, his face coming alive. ‘Hey, what are you up to this weekend? Ashley’s parents are out of town, so he’s having a party.’

I blinked. What? Had Luke just invited me to a party?

‘It’s more like a small gathering, really,’ Ashley said.

‘Oh, I don’t know. I don’t want to crash,’ I protested. After all, it was Ashley’s party. If he’d wanted me to go, surely he would have invited me himself.

‘You wouldn’t be intruding, Amy,’ Nick said. ‘We’d love it if you came.’

‘And besides, Coral can’t come, she has some family thing. I’ll need someone to talk to when these two go on the prowl and try to pick up.’ Luke winked at me and touched my leg. His hand felt warm and rough at the same time, lingering on my bare skin for only a few seconds. The movement was casual enough to have been an accident, but long enough for me to get the shivers again.

‘Shouldn’t you be going with Coral to that family thing?’ Nick asked.

‘Nah, mate. It’s close family only, and her folks hate me. Besides, who’ll help you fellas pick up if you don’t have a solid wingman?’ Luke laughed, slapping Nick on the back.

Nick grimaced, even though there’s no way that touch alone would have hurt him.

‘I don’t think I’m gonna need your help, mate.’ Ashley laughed, oblivious to the weird tension between Nick and Luke.

‘I guess that just leaves our Nick then,’ Luke teased. ‘Although, for a chick to interest him, I think she’d have to come with strings attached.’

I frowned. What was he talking about?

‘Ha-ha, yeah!’ Ashley laughed. ‘Six of them!’

I smiled, finally getting the joke. At least that somewhat confirmed my feelings. Nick was in love with his guitar and couldn’t have been less my type.

I wonder if Luke has ever listened to Elton John?

‘There doesn’t seem to be much working going on there in the back room,’ Mr Davison called out from inside the classroom.

The atmosphere shifted and we all shuffled towards our places. I nervously switched on the microphone, tapping it once or twice and grimacing as it made a thudding sound.

‘All right, let’s get started,’ Nick said. He nodded, counting us in, and then started strumming and picking out notes on his guitar. His faced was etched with concentration as he plucked out the intricate melody. He was definitely the most talented of us.
He should make his life all about music. If my Dad could make it, so could anybody.

Seconds later, Luke and Ashley came in, with Ashley beating out a simple pattern on his snare and Luke playing a few repetitive notes on his bass. My attention shifted to his muscular frame as it sat hunched over the small guitar. Luke’s eyes moved toward me.

It was my turn to perform, so I started to sing. Luke watched me, his eyes shining. I felt my face heating up, my knees weakening a little. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t thinking about music.

My voice soared over the high notes and softly crashed down to the low. I wanted to perform better, sing louder. I’d do anything to keep those eyes on me while I sang.

I didn’t need counselling. I needed Luke.

‘Okay, Stevie, we need you onstage in five,’ Joe said, backing out of the change room. Currently occupied by Dad, Mum and me, it was a small white brick room with heaps of posters of bands plastered on the walls. A table sat in front of us, chock-full of food: sandwiches, cheese, and chips. To the right was a fridge fully-stocked with beer and wine, and on top of that sat a selection of spirits.