Finding Home (12 page)

I kind of felt like answering with ‘What business is it of yours?’ but instead I settled for a nod with a look of contrition on my face.

‘All right. We’ll need to do an STD test, too, to make sure you haven’t caught any transmittable diseases. When was your last Pap smear?’

‘Pap smear?’

All of a sudden, the Sexy Hospital didn’t seem like such a great idea.

‘Were you a virgin?’ The doctor asked, glasses sliding a little way down his nose. He pushed them back up with a vengeance.

‘Yes.’ My voice was quiet as it escaped my throat.

‘Well then, you need to have regular Pap smears as soon as you become sexually active to help us monitor for cancer. We can also check for STDs while we’re at it. And you’ll need to make a decision. Condoms are not protection enough, they’re not completely effective,’ the doctor prattled on, typing away at his computer as he went. ‘We can look at the contraceptive pill, the implant or a few other newer contraceptive options. I’ll give you a pamphlet so you can do some research before you leave.’

My mind was swimming. I guess it made sense to start looking at the long term options and taking safety precautions, especially since there was no doubt Luke would want to have sex with me again once he and Coral had ended things.

The doctor smiled. ‘All right, now let’s get these tests done.’

Needless to say, the next thirty minutes were some of the most awkward, uncomfortable and embarrassing moments of my life. When the doctor was done, he made me promise to call for the test results in one week’s time and handed me a tiny cardboard box.

‘Take one pill now and one in twelve hours,’ he instructed. ‘There is a possible side affect of nausea, too, so don’t be surprised if you feel a little queasy.’

Fantastic. Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any sicker.

I thanked him and then walked to the front counter, where I handed over my Medicare card and walked out equipped with a brown paper bag full of condoms (‘ribbed
and
flavoured!’ the receptionist had said with a very cheeky grin), as well as about a million different pamphlets on STDs, the importance of safe sex, and all the different contraceptives on the market.

I stuffed the brown paper bag in my backpack and quickened my stride. It was important I got to school before the lunch break so I could see Luke. I only stopped walking when I felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket.

Hey Ames, I’m coming to see some guys play in town on the weekend, so we can finally catch up! Can’t wait to hear about all of your adventures. Love you, Dad

Even hearing from Dad couldn’t dampen my mood. For the first time since starting life in Cherrybrook, I couldn’t wait to get to school.

I arrived at school just in time for lunch. Thankfully, I managed to sneak in without being detected, although I was sure the day would come when they’d ask me for an absentee note and I’d have to do some serious forging of Lou’s signature.

I walked over to the basketball courts, scanning the hundreds of students gathered there in their tiny groups, looking for Luke. My Luke. I smiled to myself, wondering if he’d broken up with Coral yet. Maybe he was doing it right now and that’s why I couldn’t spot them.

I did another lap of the grounds, checking the basketball and tennis courts, the quadrangle and the football field. Every now and then I stopped to check my phone in an attempt to look purposeful. Then I walked off to the canteen, stood in line, and left before I got to the counter. Afterwards, I walked to the toilets, taking the long, long lap around the school before starting the routine again. This was getting pathetic.

‘Where were you this morning?’ Lily asked, jogging over to my side as I waited in line at the canteen for what was the third time that break.

‘I didn’t feel well,’ I said. It wasn’t completely a lie. I’d felt terrible when the doctor had given me a Pap smear, and even worse when he’d told me about the upcoming nausea I was going to experience.

‘Oh. You’re okay now, right? Buy me a packet of chips?’

‘I don’t have any money,’ I said, apologising. Lily gave me a weird look. She drew her eyebrows together and took a deep breath before grabbing my sleeve and pulling me out of the line, over to the side.

‘Amy, you’re in the canteen line but you don’t have money. You’ve also walked through the quad four times this lunch break. I’m not an idiot.’ Lily shook her head. ‘You’re looking for him, aren’t you?’

Sprung
. My shoulders slumped, my head down.

‘I told you not to pursue things with him,’ she hissed. At least she was being quiet about it.

‘Lily, it’s not that simple, I —’

‘Yes, it is. He’s got a girlfriend.’ Her eyes grew wide and she spoke the words slowly, hoping they would sink in. ‘He’s not interested in you.’

‘You don’t know that,’ I whispered. The words caught in my throat. He was interested in me, but I couldn’t tell her about the weekend, not until things were clear with Coral. I didn’t want him to be angry with me, and I needed to make sure things were okay between us, first and foremost.

‘I gotta go,’ I stammered, all but sprinting out of the canteen area. The bell rang, and the sea of green and grey clad students started moving against me, pulling me with them in the direction of the school buildings.

I couldn’t follow them. I needed a moment, some time to be alone and collect myself. Seeing the suspicion in Lily’s eyes, her clear condemnation of my relationship, had hurt.

At top speed, I hurtled around the side of the canteen, heading towards the parking lot. I stopped in my tracks.

They’d been there all along. Luke and Coral, the football player and the cheerleader, were standing next to the canteen wall, just out of sight of the rest of the school. Luke had his arm around Coral. She was looking dreamily into his eyes.

The nausea from the tablet I’d taken kicked in.

I jerked back around to the front of the canteen so they wouldn’t see me. What the hell was going on? He clearly hadn’t told her yet, which made absolutely no sense. My heart was in my throat, and I felt like crying. This couldn’t be happening.

A few seconds later and Coral was skipping past, not even seeing the pathetic-looking girl pressed against the canteen wall as she headed to class. I needed to talk to Luke, to find out what was happening and why he was acting so close to her. I rounded the corner and ran smack-bang into his broad, hard chest.

‘Hey, babe.’ He smiled down at me without making any effort to move.

‘Don’t “babe” me!’ I wanted my voice to sound loud and furious, but instead it came out whiney and pathetic. I gave him a small shove for emphasis, but touching his stomach didn’t exactly strengthen my resolve.

‘Aw, Amy, I’m sorry I haven’t broken up with Coral yet.’ Luke gave me one of his toothy grins. ‘It’s just that she’s been put in this class after school for stupid kids, and she’s really down about it.’

‘So?’

‘So, I’m just going to wait for the right time. She’s been a huge part of my life, Amy.’ His face was dangerously close to mine now, and I was glad we were the only ones left in the area.

‘I know, but what we did —’

‘What we did, what happened between us, was special.’ Luke’s hand was on my shoulder. I couldn’t move. Didn’t want to. ‘And we are going to have an awesome future together. You like me ‘cause of who I am, and who I am is a nice guy. I can’t kick Coral when she’s down like that.’

His words started to make sense. I’d had no idea she was so bummed about the Student Success class, although it would certainly explain why she was so touchy about being partnered with me, someone she’d already taken a dislike to. A wave of guilt washed over me, overtaking the nausea. I was stealing her boyfriend, and here I was, trying to force more unhappiness on her. What was wrong with me?

I felt Luke’s fingers lace through mine, and I let him lead me around the corner to the side of the canteen, where we would be obscured from the eyes of any students who might have been in the area.

‘You’ll definitely do it soon, though, right?’ My voice was shaky. Despite my guilt, I needed his answer to be yes. He had to say yes.

‘Amy,’ he whispered, ‘for you there’s nothing I won’t do.’ His dark eyes were locked on mine, burning with desire. He leaned forward and kissed my lips — light, soft, feathery kisses. I fell into him like a blanket.

We stood there, kissing softly and searchingly for what felt like hours. Each kiss sent shivers up my spine, making me want him more and more. It helped numb the pain of seeing him with Coral and settled the nausea in my gut. There was nothing a dose of Luke couldn’t fix.

Our kisses became more frantic, and I felt his hands roaming up and down the sides of my body. He pressed me up against the wall, leaning his weight into me.

It was the same wall I’d seen him leaning up against with Coral. I stopped, pushing his chest away. It was all too soon. I needed some time to adjust.

We fell apart, breathless. Luke shook his head at me, smiling like I was responsible for some major trouble.

‘Problem?’ He asked with a smirk.

‘I just…need a minute,’ I replied, stepping out of his arms. ‘We really shouldn’t be doing this until you’ve sorted things out with poor Coral.’

Luke crossed his hands behind his head and studied me, like he was solving some huge mathematical equation.

‘See you tomorrow, babe.’ He tousled my hair and strode around the corner, heading off to his next class. I watched him leave, incredibly confused. Was he mad at me? Was he okay with my decision to take things slow?

I waited till he was gone and touched my lips, where only a few short seconds ago he had been planting those gorgeous, delicate kisses.

I was pretty sure I was in love.

It was my own personal form of heaven and hell: Music with Luke, followed by Student Success with Coral. I’d managed to arrive suitably late to class and had scored the empty seat next to Luke, which I was thankful for, especially when it became clear we’d be doing music theory and not prac.

‘How are you?’ I whispered to Luke as Mr Davison wrote notes on the board.

‘Finding it hard to concentrate,’ he replied. He grabbed my hand where it was resting on my leg and tried to subtly move it up a little higher on his. Thank God we were sitting at the back of class.
This is definitely not appropriate classroom behaviour.

‘We should pay attention.’ I stole my wrist back, casting a furtive glance around the room to make sure we hadn’t been caught. The only person not looking at their book was Nick, who was staring out the window, his eyebrows set in a firm line.

‘Or we could play,’ Luke suggested. He shot me a sly wink.

We spent the next thirty minutes in much the same fashion: he’d try to grab my hand/thigh/hair/leg, and I’d pull away, laughing. Then, he’d try again. By the end of the class, his hand had lightly grazed over my thighs so many times I’d begun to wish we could just have sex again.

Not yet, though, I told myself. I wouldn’t let anything else happen until Luke and Coral broke up, and that time would come soon enough.

The bell rang and we placed our books in our bags and headed out the door together, two students in an army all heading in the one direction: home.

‘Hey, Nick! What do you think about us doing some extracurricular rehearsal for music tonight?’ Luke asked as Nick marched past us.

‘Can’t,’ he replied, his voice hard and low. ‘I’ve got band practice.’ I smiled to myself, grateful once more that I’d dodged that bullet. I hadn’t realised before how moody he was, but clearly Nick was up one moment, down the next. So. Not. Appealing.

‘Maybe you and I could hold our own rehearsal then,’ Luke growled playfully into my ear.

‘Oh, I’d love to but I can’t,’ I said, apologising. ‘I have Student Success today.’

‘Boring.’ Luke rolled his eyes. ‘We’ll have to lock that in for another time.’ Butterflies started working their way through my stomach again. I knew exactly what his so-called rehearsal would entail.

‘I gotta go, anyway. I stopped at the turn-off for the English block. ‘See ya!’ Luke waved at me, then ran off towards a disappearing Ashley. He was so full of energy all the time. He always seemed to have something going on. It was kind of hard to keep up.

I walked into the Student Success room and took my usual seat down the back, waiting for Coral. We’d almost developed a healthy rhythm, her and I. The note writing was working out well.

‘Coral, you’re late again,’ Mrs Smith said when Coral finally stalked into the room. She’d entered 15 minutes after class should have begun.

‘Sorry, Mrs Smith,’ she mumbled. She pulled out the chair next to me and sat, taking a pen from her shirt pocket.

What do you want to work on today?

I slid the note under her nose and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Apparently Coral had gotten sick of our little note-passing game.

‘Coral,’ I whispered. ‘We need to appear to be working, remember?’

She turned to face me and gave me a serious Look. Her eyes were slightly rimmed with red and narrowed, like I was somehow the cause of all her problems. I was confused. I knew Luke hadn’t told her, not yet, so why was she acting like I’d stolen her boyfriend or something?

I tilted my head to the side and shrugged, trying to convey through my movements that I had no idea what was going on with her. I was sure she’d appreciate that I found it hard to identify with her glamorous cheerleading life.

Just when I thought I was going to have to bring Mrs Smith into it, Coral snatched the piece of paper off the desk and started scribbling something down, her body angled away from mine.

I drummed my fingers on the tabletop, waiting for her to pass the paper back so we could start on the lesson.

When she finally shoved it back under my nose, the subject was not school-related.

Did you hang out with Luke at Ashley’s party on the weekend?

My heart froze, stuck in my throat.

I had no idea how to reply. I could lie and say no, but what if somebody had seen us walking out or coming back in together? I remembered the group of guys from my first party and shuddered. Lily knew, clearly, and so did Kyle, but surely neither of them would have said anything.