e (62 page)

I look forward to hearing from you,

Jim Weissmuller

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/12/00, 12:42pm
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	LOVE

I’ve had something unexpected come up that I must deal with right away. I’ll be with you in five minutes.

	[email protected] 1/12/00, 12:45pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Coke

Dear Jim,

I’m honoured, but you are too kind. The handling of Pertti was very much down to David. I simply put my name to it.

I have instructed my PA to send you everything on Coca-Cola and it should be on your side of the Atlantic within the hour. Once you have had a chance to digest, perhaps we can discuss your thoughts over the phone. It goes without saying that I would value your opinion above anyone’s.

Sincerely,

Harriet Greenbaum

	[email protected] 1/12/00, 1:13pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	STOP PRESS!

Jesus Fucking Christ, I’ve just come back from a snapper and read your e. I’m gagging for more. I haven’t been this eager for news since I camped outside the Palace waiting for word of Lady Di’s firstborn (A son, a son! Oh, how I rejoiced).

	[email protected] 1/12/00, 1:22pm (5:22pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	STOP PRESS!

No further developments. Mel ordered us to stay in our room and speak to nobody, not even room service. She found out we’d blabbed to the
Sun
and she went crazy-apeshit. She’s scary as hell when she’s mad. Did you really camp outside the Palace? Sad bastard.

	[email protected] 1/12/00, 1:24pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	STOP PRESS!

Gullible twat.

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/12/00, 1:38pm
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	LOVE

I have had a chance to think about this now and here is my suggested plan of action:

Forget repeated attempts to raise Dan or Simon on the phone. I mean no disrespect to either of them but both are panickers and liable to be less than candid when the going gets tough.

Instead, locate Melinda at the earliest opportunity and demand a full report. We can’t really proceed until we’re armed with all the facts. Of everybody out there she is the most level-headed and is likely to give it to us straight. I’ll call her if you like. We go back a long way and she won’t give me any bullshit.

Tell her that whatever else happens, we must finish the shoot – with or without the client’s co-operation. To pull the plug now would probably put us in breach of contract. Phone up the chief exec at LOVE and recommend a united front for now. It won’t help our cause or theirs if we’re chewing lumps out of each other.

Brief our lawyers at the earliest opportunity. I suspect that if this runs the course the writs will fly so thick and fast we won’t be able to duck quickly enough.

Impose an immediate blanket ban on all employees talking to the press about anything. All inquiries should be directed to you.

Finally, I went to university with an assistant editor at the
Sun.
If you like I’ll contact her, make some discreet inquiries as to what, if anything, they intend to run and see if I can put a Miller-Shanks-friendly spin on it.

Let me know what you think of the above and what further you would like me to do.

	David Crutton – 1/12/00, 1:49pm
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	LOVE

All good sense, Harriet. Thank you. Call Melinda now and report back as soon as you have spoken. Stress that the shoot must go on. Then phone your mate at the
Scum
and see what you can glean. While you’re at it you might point out to her how much money we spend with her rag on behalf of our clients – biting the hand that feeds them and all that. In the meantime, I’ll take care of your other points. I suggest we aim to meet in an hour or so to re-assess.

	David Crutton – 1/12/00, 1:53pm
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	NO COMMENT

I am not at liberty to divulge why at the moment, but no one must say anything to the press. I don’t care whether it’s
The Times
, the
Sun
or
Angler’s Weekly.
Any approaches from any journalists will be referred to me. To go against me on this is to court instant dismissal.

David Crutton

CEO

	David Crutton – 1/12/00, 1:56pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	Max Gregory