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Authors: Matt Beaumont

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Perhaps I am telling you something of which you are already aware, but reading between the lines suggests that you have been excluded from this particular loop, my darling. Despite your clear disinterest in them, Pinki started an outlandish auction for the services of Kitty Bates and Jane Backer this morning. The price went up to 45k. Well, I wasn’t about to complain, given my cut. But I have to say that while they are good, they are not Evelyn Waugh and Pablo Picasso. She claimed to have David’s full backing. In the end she didn’t get them. They are now the bought and paid for property of Trevor Beattie.

What in heaven’s name is going on, sweetie? You simply must tell your favourite headhunter.

Letty

Pinki Fallon – 1/14/00, 11:30am
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
resignation

Dear David,

I regret that I must tender my resignation. I do not want to leave but under the circumstances I feel I have no other option.

The decision to present Coca-Cola with a campaign idea that is not original and that we know to be the property of a creative team who do not work at Miller Shanks is one that I cannot support. I feel that this betrayal of principle lets the company down, and it has ceased to be the place that I joined with such high hopes last year.

I would prefer to leave immediately, but if you wish I am prepared to work out my three-month notice period.

Yours truly,

Pinki Fallon

Nigel Godley – 1/14/00, 11:38am
to:
All Departments
cc:
 
re:
Sale, Sale, Sale!

FOR SALE

Mahogany-style CD rack

• Holds 65 CDs.

• Durable polyurethane construction.

• Authentic mahogany effect.

• Mint condition, apart from one slight scratch.

• £14 or nearest offer.

• First to see will buy!

   Call x4667 – Nige

David Crutton – 1/14/00, 11:43am
to:
Pinki Fallon
cc:
 
re:
resignation

Your resignation is accepted. You can leave at the end of the day. Would you ask Liam to see me?

Liam O’Keefe – 1/14/00, 11:45am
to:
Lorraine Pallister
cc:
 
re:
bye

Pinki’s walked. Crutton wants me. I’m 5′10″, 42″ chest, 32″ inside leg. Order coffin.

[email protected] 1/14/00, 12:08pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
meet your new boss

Pinki resigned. Crutton called me up for what I’d have bet both your bikes on being my firing, but he put me in charge. Well, not as such – he said that as the most senior remaining member of the Creative Department, would I be prepared to present Coke on Monday. I thought about the stolen work, the ruthless exploitation of defenceless students and the point of principle that had driven my partner to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Then I said yes.

Look, I know Pinki’s done the decent thing, shown rare integrity, noble, heroic, blah, blah, blah . . . but there’s glory, pay rises and free lunches to be had. And as “the most senior remaining member of the Creative Department,” maybe I can get Vin’s job back – at least until the next fucker they make creative director sweeps in with his new broom (they all have new brooms) and fires his arse.

David Crutton – 1/14/00, 12:10pm
to:
Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
 
re:
Coke

Unsurprisingly, Saint Pinki of Glastonbury has resigned. So be it. I hope that you won’t be infected by her outbreak of ethic-itis and will show the required resolve to see the job through. 99% of the pitch work is done, so it’s down to dotting the i’s. Do you think the hooligan Liam is capable of sprucing himself up to present on Monday?

In the longer term we need to search for a new creative director. Simon is beyond redemption and while I entertained mild hopes of Pinki replacing him she is clearly out of the frame. You are something of a creative groupie. Any ideas?

Harriet Greenbaum – 1/14/00, 12:23pm
to:
David Crutton
cc:
 
re:
Coke

You know my feelings on this. I empathise with Pinki, but my resignation at this point would be irresponsible. You are the CEO, and it is incumbent on me to abide by your decisions.

As for a new CD, I do have some ideas, and there is one name in particular I’d like to canvass. Perhaps when the dust has settled next week we can have a chat.

[email protected] 1/14/00, 12:33pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
concerns

Jim, I apologise for bothering you first thing in your day, but I have some serious worries that I need to share with you. I would
appreciate your advice on how we should handle it. A crisis has developed on Coca-Cola, and in his understandable eagerness to win the pitch I believe that David has made the wrong call.

This morning we discovered that the campaign we showed you a couple of days ago is not an original concept. Pinki was informed that Simon Horne had seen it as a 7UP idea in a student portfolio and had adapted it for our purposes. It is David’s opinion, given that it is undeniably a good idea, and given the lateness of the hour, we should present anyway. Unfortunately this decision has led to Pinki’s resignation.

While I would not do anything so precipitate, I do think David is mistaken. Besides principle, I believe that common sense should prevent us from taking this course. Assume we win the pitch with “IT’S IN THE CAN” and run it as a campaign. The evidence of our theft will be there for all to see, not least the two girls who originated the idea. The plot is further complicated by the fact that they now have a job at TBWA, who, as you know, are competing against us for Coke. I have put this argument to David but he remains intransigent.

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