You're Gone (Finding Solid Ground) (29 page)

“Who are you?” Mellisande asked, watching as he sat back down in the same chair.

“I’m Steve.”

“Steve who, son?” Grant asked.

“Pop, he’s the one I hit.” Charleigh pushed up from the bed to stand.

“You hit him? They didn’t tell us what happened; just that you’d been in an accident.” Grant took his granddaughter by the elbow to help.

“Yes, sir. It wasn’t anything more than a fender-bender.” Awkwardly, Steve stood back up. He stared up uneasily at the older man towering over him. “I
… I think I’ll go now, Charleigh, since your grandparents are here.”

Charleigh just nodded and smiled to herself as she watched the boy maneuver himself around her grandfather. Steve’s eyes never left Grant’s face. Maybe it had something to do with the old man’s size that made him fearful. The truth was Grant Douglas would never hurt a flea. But what some people didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

“Remember what we talked about, okay?” She called after Steve. “You have my number. Call me after you talk to your parents.”

Charleigh’s comment earned strange looks from both of her grandparents. She didn’t take the time to explain it to them, either. Instead, she went over to pick up her bag that set on a tray at the end of the bed.
Gosh, I’m hungry
. With her discharge papers in hand, Charleigh smiled at her Nana and Pop, and walked out of the exam room. She was going in search of the nearest fast food restaurant.

The best thing about owning a feed store was the employer discount. Or, as Charleigh liked to think of it, free merchandise. Well, she figured the wholesale price came out of her pockets, anyway. The only difference was that the store wasn’t earning a profit for the items she took.

Amos and Corey needed dog food. They had been eating table scraps for the last few days. Growing up as the daughter of a veterinarian, Charleigh knew better.
“Human food is for humans; dog food is for dogs,”
she remembered Mike scolding her the one and only time she sneaked a piece of bacon to Duke.

She hadn’t been to Safe Haven since a few days before Jamie died. At first, it was because she was so busy with last minute wedding plans. After that, then Charleigh just didn’t do much of anything.

It wasn’t that she didn’t have the time. Charleigh had
lots
of time on her hands to do whatever she wanted. Most of which, Charleigh spent in preparation for the twins’ birth.

Besides, she trusted her Granddad to run the feed store as he saw fit, and the same went with Everett and the clinic. It wasn’t like she could do any of the things she used to do, other than put her John Hancock on the paychecks every other week. Charleigh wasn’t going to put her baby boys at risk by wrestling with a three-hundred pound calf that needed cutting.

She dropped the pups by the clinic first to be groomed, saying hello to Debbie and the few of the clerical staff, and then went through the side door into the feed stores. Looking around, Charleigh noticed a few of the changes her Granddad was continually making to make the place better. The man may have had only a ninth grade education, but John Randall was a shrewd businessman.

Charleigh found her grandfather in her office, which was his now, taking a nap on the leather couch. His ball cap was tipped forward slightly, shielding his eyes from the light. She kicked the leg to make him aware of her presence.

“What in tarnation? Oh, Charleigh, hi,” John mumbled. Startled, he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Sorry, Granddad. How’s everything going?” she went over and sat on the edge of the desk.

“Goin’ good, goin’ good. Garry’s taking care of the store while I doze for a bit.” Charleigh nodded. “How’re you? Your forehead looks awful.”

“Well, thanks for the compliment,” she joked, “but it just looks bad. I feel fine.”

“So, you’re out and about?” John got up to go out into the store. Charleigh followed.

“Yeah, we need dog food. Corey and Amos and I ate hamburgers for supper last night, so I figured
…”

“Your
daddy wouldn’t like that too much,” Granddad commented as they walked toward the cash register.

“Yeah, that’s why I figured we needed to get up here A.S.A.P.” Charleigh rubbed her belly with both hands through the pockets of her down puffer jacket when the babies moved.

“I would have brought some to you, if you’d just mentioned it to me.”

“I know, but I also figured that I needed to get out and get some fresh air,” she said, going over to where the shopping carts were kept, and pulled one out. “The boys needed to have their nails trimmed. They might as well get a bath and groomed while they’re at it.”

“True, but I hope you’re not planning to load that thing up by yourself,” John said, putting a hand on the handlebar to stop his granddaughter.

“Of course, but I’m not going to do it all by myself, Granddad,” Charleigh laughed and winked.
“You are going to help me.”

That brought about a raucous laugh from John. Tears sprang to his eyes. He shook his head and wiped the moisture away.

“Yeah, a pregnant woman and a halfway-crippled old fart,” he continued to laugh. “Hold on a minute, and I’ll get one of the guys to do it for you. Don’t pick up a thing.”

Charleigh went around the store, throwing toys and treats into the cart. Lost in thought, Charleigh was holding a green tennis ball and staring off into oblivion when Dillon stepped up to help her.

“Those things bring back fond memories?” he asked, shoving a notepad into the back pocket of his jeans.

Charleigh chuckled and threw the toy back down into a container with different colored balls. “Yeah, a few, I suppose.”

“John said you were needing help with some supplies?”

“Just a little bit. Is it hot in here to you, or is just me?” she asked and started to pull off her coat.

“No, not real… Wow, you
are
pregnant!” Dillon had heard all of the rumors floating around about Charleigh and Jamie, but he hadn’t put much merit in any of them. Until now, that is. Now, Dillon knew at least one of them had been true.

Did he dare say what else he was thinking? Might as well chance it. What could Charleigh Randall really do, except fire him?
“There have been rumors going around about you. I wasn’t certain whether or not to believe them.”

“Yeah, just a little bit.” Charleigh repeated and laughed. She chose to pretend not to have heard the second part.

“How far along? Do you know whether it’s a boy or girl yet?” Dillon stared down at the bump that stretched the fleece pullover Charleigh was wearing. After a moment, she started tugging that off too, and tossed it into the cart.

“Almost five months. Twin boys.”

“Only five? I was gonna say closer to seven or eight. But then you said twins,” Dillon said, still in disbelief.

“Well, it’s the three boxes of Twinkies I crave every
day that are finally catching up with me.” Charleigh replied.

Making small-talk, they walked together down a few more aisles before Charleigh stopped and kicked a specific brand of d
og food. “I need ten of these fifty-pound bags.”

Without hesitation, Dillon began to pile the bags onto the cart. Just like Charleigh had asked. Three bags were already loaded when the thought crossed his mind of who would be unloading the feed once she got home. One thing he knew for certain, Charleigh couldn’t do it in her condition.

“Why don’t I bring these out to you after my shift ends in a couple of hours? Around 4:30?” Dillon asked, putting the fourth bag on top of the other three.

For a moment, Charleigh stood staring at the man in front of her. Dillon Hodge seemed like a nice enough guy. He’d helped her take the greenhouse down and put it back up at her house. He hadn’t accepted the money she’d tried to pay him for the work.

Narrowing her eyes on him, Charleigh knew she was within reason to suspect him of other, not-so-honest motives.
Why else would he bring up the rumors?
Pure curiosity just didn’t sit well with Charleigh.

She simply nodded her head in response. Taking Dillon by the arm, Charleigh pulled him along to the back storeroom. With a little reluctance, he followed.

It was somewhat messy inside, but she didn’t expect her Granddad to keep everything as tidy as she had. She kicked some kind of flier that must have fallen from the bulletin board and drifted into the room.

Once they were both inside, Charleigh shut the door. On the back of the door was a poster that advertised a new kind of horse vaccine. It wasn’t so much the poster that Charleigh wanted Dillon to see but what was underneath it. Without a second thought, she yanked the glossy paper away to reveal a large hole. The hole made the day Gavin and Charleigh got into the riotous argument and she threw the doorstop at his head.

Charleigh wanted to make it plain to Dillon that the hole was a warning.

“That’s what happens when someone crosses me. Ga
vin was lucky that he left this room with only a bloody nose,” Charleigh confirmed. Then she sighed, “I’d appreciate it if you did me the favor and delivered the sacks later on today. But if you’re looking for something to add to the rumor mill, I suggest you be prepared, Mister Hodge.”

Charleigh nodded her head. She opened the door and walked out, leaving Dillon staring after her in disbelief once more.

Cross-legged, Charleigh sat in the center of the room that was slowly being converted into a nursery. She was surrounded by cardboard boxes of every shape and size. There were large ones, small ones, short ones, long ones, and flat ones. Some were piled as high as three or four tall. There were even more of them lined up along both walls of the hallway, and even downstairs in the living room. Several were already open, and the contents had been scattered around on the floor.

Charleigh was absolutely thrilled by it all. She had found plenty of items on the internet to go along with the theme that she planned to use in her baby boys’ room. Even things she’d never before thought existed. She found that if it didn’t exist then she could find someone somewhere out there who could bring it to life with just her precise specifications.

Maybe, just maybe, she’d gone a little bit overboard. With the amount of money she’d spent
and all the cute little outfits her boys would probably grow out of before they ever get to wear them and all the stuffed animals. But then again, nothing was ever going to be too much for her boys. They would always be able to count on their mommy to give them whatever their little hearts desired.

She knew Jamie would feel the same way, if he were there to share in her joy. Ever since the ultrasound, finding out the babies’ gender, Charleig
h couldn’t help but find herself daydreaming of what they might look like. Would they each have a head full of dark-brown hair like their daddy’s had been or would it be a lighter brown, more like her own, with that coppery glow? Would it be curly or straight? Better yet, would they have any hair at all? Would they have her fair complexion, with the tendency to burn under the hot rays of the sun, or would they have Jamie’s naturally dark and handsome skin tone.

Charleigh had imagined several different combinations, but in every image her brain could conjure up, her boys always had the same eye color. That same sweet, chocolaty brown color that Jamie’s eyes had been. It was the same eye color of every other man in the Matthews family, for that matter, for as far back as Charleigh could remember.

Looking down at the teddy bear that she held on her lap, Charleigh straightened its outfit which was a miniature version of the uniform Tony Stewart usually wore when he was driving the #20 Home Depot Chevrolet on any given race Sunday. She looked around at the mural of a cartoon racetrack, with its racecars and teddy bear drivers, she had drawn on the walls of the bedroom.

A smile spread across her lips, imagining what the nursery would look like, with all the bright and vivid colors, when she was all finished. When she would bring her babies home to sleep in the room that had been designed just for them.

The upcoming birth had just about every member of the Randall and Matthews families running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. Discounting her Aunt Denise, they were all so happy for her. Madie and John and Mellisande and Grant were the proudest of them all at the prospect of welcoming two great-grandsons. Even Marc and Paulita were ecstatic when Charleigh let them know that they would soon become surrogate grandparents. Just a few days before, she received several packages from them, containing baby blankets, sleepers and onesies, and stuffed animals. Charleigh was sure Paulita had rushed out and bought the items as soon as she’d hung up the phone.

Madie and Lenore were hard at work, knitting blankets for the two bundles. According to Grant, Mell had almost completely bought out every designer baby apparel shop from New York to Los Angeles. Charleigh only laughed at this, knowing very well it was the truth. Her maternal
grandparents were coming in at the end of the week to spend the Christmas holiday in Magnolia, and Charleigh was more than certain that she would be bombarded by gifts for the twins from her Nana and Pop and the rest of her family.

It seemed that everybody had a story to tell about their pregnancies or their birthing experiences
, both good and bad. At night, Charleigh was continuing to read Amanda’s journals about the time up until her own birth, and even into her first couple years of life, and everybody seemed to fill in a lot of the blanks left behind by what was not in the books. They all had stories about something Charleigh had done or said when she was still just a tiny tot. She was finally getting to know the woman who had been her mother on a more personal level than what even her dad could had given her through the stories he told about Amanda Randall.

Every now and again, Madie would even fill her in on some sporadic memory she had of Jamie’s early childhood. Those were the ones that Charleigh cherished most.

Sometimes, it did bring about thoughts of the baby she had miscarried. Even though she knew she shouldn’t worry about what was never meant to be, Charleigh couldn’t help wondering what her life would have been like had she carried that pregnancy to term. By now, she would be edging close to the due date, or maybe even have already given birth. Maybe she’d already have the nursery put together, probably with a different theme, and be there at that moment, soothing a crying baby. Feeding him. Rocking her. Singing to him. Would the baby have been a boy or a girl?

A lot of the people in Magnolia also seemed genuinely happy for Charleigh. At least they were polite to her face, but tongues wagged like crazy behind her back. In fact, a few days before, she came upon Corrine Arnold, who owned the only florist shop in Magnolia, and Morgan Lamprey, the mayor’s snooty, anorexic-looking niece, on the paper goods aisle in Healy’s, gossiping and laughing about her and the pregnancy that had been conceived out of wedlock. The two were gabbing on and on about how she’d ‘really gotten herself into a sticky situation.’

And they were also gossiping about Jamie, which just about did her in. They could say anything in the world about her, but what they were saying about Jamie was complete fiction, created by someone’s demented imagination. They hadn’t really gotten to know Jamie. Not the way she had. They may have heard the stories and rumors that flew. Especially after the scene with Gavin back in the spring at the Heritage Festival dance. There was no way to avoid the numerous articles that had been published in the nation-wide newspapers following the sentencing of Aaron Marshall.

None of them had any idea of who Jamie was or what he had really been all about. And they never would.

Thanks to Lenore’s fascination with other people’s personal affairs, Charleigh knew more than enough trash about both of the women to even out the playing field more than just a little bit. Instead she bit her tongue, only smiling sweetly as she passed by, and continued on her way around the store to pick up the rest of her provisions. The looks of horror on each of their faces, as they knew very well that Charleigh had overheard them and still chose to say nothing, was just about punishment enough.

It still caused a funny flutter in her heart. Charleigh seemed to turn over a new leaf, with Jamie’s tragic death and then the unexpected news of her pregnancy. It caused her to be more patient and understanding. She didn’t get as angry anymore about the insignificant and took more consideration on just living
life. The lesson she had come to learn with his lost, and also that of her father, was that there’s not enough time in the day to fret about what had happened in the past or what was to come in the future. She didn’t worry anymore about the things that could not be changed, no matter what she did or how hard she tried. The thing was, she just quit trying so hard to be perfect and to do what she supposed everybody expected of her. It was more about living in the moment; enjoying every minute. With that always in the back of her mind, the serenity seemed to radiate from every pore.

Setting the bear aside, Charleigh took a deep, cleansing breath and pushed herself up from the floor. She went over to pick up a black permanent marker from the top of one of the boxes and then turned to the wall. For a few moments, she stood just stood there, trying to figure out where to begin. A sensation passed through her belly. Her little angels moved again. The closest feeling Charleigh could liken it to was the nervous butterflies she used to get when she looked at Jamie, though, it felt like there were around a thousand of them. All flapping their tiny wings at the same time
. She chuckled lightly, rubbing her hands softly over her growing baby bump. Taking a step forward, she popped off the pen top and slowly began to outline the left arm of one of the teddy bears.

Her hand moved skillfully, covering the pencil marks with heavy black lines. A paper laid on the floor next to her foot, but she paid no attention to it. It was a small sketch she had done of the mural. The name of the color Charleigh intended each section to be was lightly scrawled in her immaculate penmanship on the page. She’d save the labeling for later. She was on a roll, and the image was quickly starting to become
clearer.

After a while, Charleigh stepped back to look at the progress she was making. Pushing a loose curl away from her face, her fingers grazed the green and yellow bruise on her right temple, and she winced at the twinge of pain. Now, a little more than two weeks after the accident, it was still a little sore. The gash was just about healed, though, she knew there would be a small, jagged scar when it would finally be gone.
Just another battle scar
.

Thanks to her lucky stars, all the major damage had been done only to the vehicles. Steve Griffith, the teenaged boy she had accidentally rear ended, hadn’t been hurt at all, but his truck was another story. The bed of his little Toyota truck had crumpled like an aluminum can under the pressure of someone’s foot. The front of Charleigh’s extended cap hadn’t been damaged too badly, barely anything more than the radiator. What had caused most of the damage to the other truck was the heavy metal cattle-guard on the front of her own. But the vehicles had been the last thing on Charleigh’s mind as the immediate shock wore off and her eyes and hands examined her body, beginning with her belly. Her first thought was of the babies, even as Steve got out and started to scream obscenities at her.

Charleigh was sure he appreciated the new Toyota 4 x 4 she’d bought him to replace the one she’d destroyed. The ‘thank you’ card was all the proof she needed to know that her new friend was doing ok. And when she offered Steve a summer job at the feed store, he hopped at the chance to work around animals. As it turned out, he was going to Grayson County College in the fall to do his basics before heading over to Murray State College to participate in the veterinary program.

Turning her mind back to the task at hand, the mural, Charleigh nodded with satisfaction of what she had accomplished. It never quite felt like work when she was painting or working with horses. A thousand thoughts could race through her brain, but after just a few hours, it always seemed that everything had a clear-cut answer. Somehow, she’d gotten completely outlined one whole wall.

Charleigh was just about to begin outlining the adjacent wall when the sound on a door slamming shut came from outside. At first the sound startled her but recovery came quickly when she stepped down from the stepladder and went over to look out the window. From there, she saw Cordell Allan coming up the walkway.

“Oh, gosh,” Charleigh said to herself, looking down at her watch.

It was after four o’clock in the afternoon. She’d been working since eleven o’clock on her project, taking only a short break to have a snack. It was only now Charleigh remembered that Madie had cajoled Cord into coming over to put together some of the baby furniture for her.

There was the sound of him knocking on the front door.

“I’ll be there in a sec,” she called, coming slowly down the stairs.

Opening the door as he raised his arm to knock again, Charleigh saw his clear, blue eyes grow wide at the sight of her. She wondered why he always reacted like that to her. It lasted only a moment as his eyes brightened and his face softened and relaxed into a gentle smile.

Charleigh gave the man a quick once-over. As always, Cord was dressed in a pair of jeans that were comfortably worn, a black faded to dark gray, long-sleeved corduroy shirt, and a pristinely white t-shirt, which barely masked his muscles underneath. There wasn’t much difference between the way Charleigh saw him at that moment, as he stood there staring back at her, and the way she normally saw him, except for the way he smelled. Instead of the pungent odor of human and horse sweat that usually permeated the air around Cordell, there was the fresh, clean scents of laundry detergent, Irish Springs bar soap, and some kind of a generic aftershave. His dishwater blonde hair was combed back neatly.

There wasn’t a doubt in the world that Cordell Allan was anything but attracted. If he wasn’t so shy, Charleigh imagined, he could probably have just about any woman in the world that he wanted. Once up
on a time, she might’ve even taken a chance on him. Perhaps in another lifetime, she might have been attracted to him. But there was no other man in the world, neither celebrity nor your common everyday run-of-the-mill average Joe, who could or ever would make Charleigh forget about Jamie. There would never be another man who would possess her mind, body, and soul the way he had.

Besides, in truth, Charleigh had never saw the man any other way than that of Madie’s ranch foreman.

“Hi,” the man finally spoke. He looked past her into the house with an expectant look. If he was going to get any work done at all, Cord thought, he needed to be on the other side of that front door.

“Thanks for coming,” she told Cord, stepping aside to let him in. He nodded silently as he came inside.