Wrestling With Love (25 page)

“I would be if you gave me the slightest hint on where we’re going. Then I would know what to wear. Is this a jeans and t-shirt kind of place or a slacks and button-down shirt kind of place?”

Scott gave Derek a steady glare, then softened his demeanor. “If you really want me to tell you, I will. But then it’ll ruin the surprise, and I can’t wait to see your expression when we get there.”

The excitement in Scott’s voice melted Derek, making him feel like the most important person in the world. Scott had gone out of his way to plan a special evening for the two of them. What for he had no idea, but it was sweet and romantic.

“Okay, fine.” He may have felt all warm and tingly, but he wasn’t going to let go of at least a slight twinge of attitude. He realized he was being childish, but Scott already knew he was stubborn so it wouldn’t be a big shock to him. Scott smiled, ignoring Derek’s tone, and walked over to him. Giving him a sweet kiss on the lips, he looked at the growing pile of clothes on the floor and picked out a pair of khaki slacks and a polo-style collared short-sleeved shirt. Derek threw on some brown dress shoes and allowed Scott to lead him out to the car. At the car, he dropped his keys into Scott’s outstretched hand and got into the passenger seat without argument. It only took a few minutes for him to realize they were headed into Harvard Square. Scott was bubbling over with excitement. “So, do you have any idea what I’ve planned for us tonight?”

Derek searched his brain for some kind of sarcastic response, but when he looked at Scott and saw the shine in his eyes, he caved and let go of any lingering resentment at being coddled and kept in the dark. “No, you’ve done an extremely good job of keeping this top-secret. I have no idea and, because you’re so excited, I’m beginning to get really excited too.”

Scott beamed. “Now that’s the attitude I was looking for. Good. Tonight will be amazing. I promise, you’ll never forget it.”

Derek let Scott’s promise sink in as he leaned back in the passenger seat and allowed Scott to park the car. Taking Derek’s hand, Scott led him down Massachusetts Avenue and into the heart of Harvard Square. Once Derek got over the shock of Scott 119

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

taking his hand, he looked around. They were near Au Bon Pain, the café where they spent a great deal of time together when they lived in Cambridge. As they walked in that direction, Derek wondered why Scott had chosen such dressy clothes for him to wear. When they passed Au Bon Pain, Derek became confused and his excitement piqued. “Okay, are we almost there yet? I really have no idea what you have in store for us.”

Scott placed an arm around Derek’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Yes, we’re almost there. Just another minute or two.” Once again, Derek reveled in the affection Scott was showing him and, as promised, after two more minutes of walking, they stood in front of Fire and Ice. They walked in and Scott gave his name. The hostess smiled and walked them to their table.

Derek had wanted to go to Fire and Ice for years but had never gone. It was one of those peculiar things since he grew up so close to the restaurant. This was precisely the kind of thing Scott did to make Derek feel so special.

Looking around, it appeared just as he imagined it would. There were several cooking stations located throughout the restaurant accompanied by rows and rows of various food choices. People lined up, selecting what they wanted and placing their orders with the cooks, then returning to their tables to wait for their meals to be delivered to them. What had made Fire and Ice so popular when it first opened was that the quality of the food was top notch, but you could choose whatever you wanted from the available items. Seafood, Italian, Chinese, just about anything. It was cool. “I can’t believe it. You planned all of this and actually kept it to yourself. How long have you known you were going to take me here?”

Scott laughed. “The truth?” Derek just looked at him and Scott became serious. “I planned it a month ago.”

Derek’s mouth fell open. “A month…you planned this…I can’t believe…wow!”

Scott laughed and this time he didn’t control himself. “I always know I did something really right or really wrong when you lose your ability to form coherent sentences. I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a guess that this would be one of the things I did right.”

Derek felt a wide grin spread across his face. “I’d say this is one of your best surprises yet.” He didn’t know what had inspired this well-planned, romantic evening, but love swelled up inside him, filling his chest and threatening to burst out in laughter and tears. “I love you so much. You have no idea.”

“That, my very handsome boyfriend, is where you’re wrong. You always make me feel how much you love me. How many times do I have to tell you before you’ll finally believe me? No one has ever made me feel more safe or secure than you have.” Scott looked at him as if he were a priceless jewel. Locked in his gaze, Derek was unable to draw his eyes away from Scott. “Okay, I’m going to explain myself now, but I want you to promise me something first.”

“That depends on what it is.”

120

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

“Just promise.”

Derek decided playful flirting was an appropriate response. “Fine, what am I promising you?”

“Promise me you won’t get upset when I tell you what I am about to tell you.” Scott looked very serious and Derek felt his stomach do a little roll.

“Okay, I promise.” He wasn’t at all confident he would be able to keep his word, but the cryptic talk was unnerving him.

“Thank you.” Scott was so calm and self-assured; Derek relaxed even as he waited for Scott to say whatever it was he had to say.

“I’ve been waiting for this specific weekend for the past month.” Scott leaned forward in his seat, his eyes sparkling, the Caribbean blues gleaming with life and excitement. A slight flicker of a candle reflected on the wet surface making it appear as if fire was dancing on water. Fire and Ice. “You already know I love you and that you’re the best part of my life. We both know living together has been amazing and has only drawn us closer together. I didn’t think it was possible to find new things to love about you, but every day, you give me something new to admire, respect, and find irresistible.” Heat began to burn at Derek’s cheeks and a small lump formed in his throat.

“Every night, when we go to bed, I think of how lucky I am to be with you, that you have chosen me. I know I’ve let you down. We talked about how things would be once we started college, how we would…you know…have sex once we were living together. I’ve been holding back. I’ve been afraid. But lately I’ve only been excited, wanting you more and more each day. So, I made plans for you and me to be together in a very special way tonight.” He leaned in and gently kissed Derek, lips slightly parted, a hint of spearmint flavor from Scott’s gum spreading through Derek’s mouth. When he pulled back, Scott had a wide smile on his face, his eyes gleaming with a bit of moisture.

“Happy Anniversary!”

Derek gasped. When Scott had been so cryptic about where they were going, he had suspected that it had to do with their anniversary. It was exactly one year ago the two of them had finally realized they were both attracted to each other. It was the first night they kissed and the beginning of their relationship. He had Scott’s present in his pocket. It was actually a present for the two of them.

What Scott was saying went beyond celebrating their anniversary. He was talking about their physical relationship. All the stress, the doubts, had been misplaced. Scott wanted him and had planned this evening for the two of them. He’d taken the initiative Derek had been waiting for. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks. Scott smiled and reached across the table, brushing the tears away from Derek’s eyes. “I told you to promise me you wouldn’t get upset.”

Derek laughed as the tears continued to flow. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just overwhelmed by you. Just when I think you’ve done the most romantic and loving things I could imagine, you come up with something like this. You did a great job of 121

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

surprising me. My gift pales in comparison.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. “I got these for the two of us.”

Scott took the box from him and opened it. When he looked inside he gasped.

“Derek, what did you do?”

“I just got us a little something to show our connection.” He took the box from Scott and pulled out the two gold chains with half a heart dangling from each. “It’s cheesy, I know, but I thought it was perfect for us. We’re two parts that make up a better and stronger whole. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want, but I wanted each of us to have it.”

Scott took one of the chains from Derek, holding it so the half heart lay flat in his hand. After a moment, he looked up, his eyes gleaming with wetness. “I don’t know what to say. This is too much. How could you aff—”

“Mixing parties. And stop. Nothing is too much when it comes to us. Especially now that you planned this evening and I know that you really do want to make love to me.”

“You thought…did I make you think I didn’t want to sleep with you by waiting?”

The wetness in his eyes welled up and a few tears slid down Scott’s cheeks. Derek didn’t know how to respond. The truth was that Scott had made him question whether he wanted him. “It doesn’t matter now. The fact is, you do want me and I want you. Let’s make sure we don’t forget that in the future.”

Scott looked back down at the chain and half heart in his hand, then undid the clasp and secured the chain around his neck. The lights in the restaurant and the candle at their table shone off the chain and half heart’s surface, causing it to glimmer. “And there you go. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I do. I’ve never gone this long feeling this secure and loved.”

Derek knew Scott was referring to the fact he had to constantly move while growing up and was never able to set roots. Scott had repeatedly told Derek that his constancy and love was the greatest gift anyone could ever give him.

“I don’t know what to say. I love you so much, Scott. Thank you for planning this evening for us. I don’t have words to tell you how special this makes me feel and how much it reinforces for me the wonderful man I know you are.” Derek could see Scott’s lower lip begin to tremble and a lone tear slowly slipped from his eye and began to roll slowly down his cheek. Derek reached across the table and wiped his tear away. Scott smiled and reached into his jacket pocket. “I did get you one more thing. It’s nothing much so please don’t object.” He pulled out a card and handed it to Derek. It was simple, but perfect. On the front it said Happy First Anniversary. He opened the card and, on the inside were the words I love you, Scott. That was it. Derek stared at the card for a full minute then looked up at Scott, knowing all of the love he felt for him showed. He didn’t remember what either of them ate, but he knew he would keep that card forever as a reminder of their first anniversary. Once they left the restaurant, they had about an hour before Derek had to go mix for the party. When Scott parked the car in 122

D.H. Starr

Wrestling With Love

the lot near their dorm, they got out and stood, looking around. Finally, Derek broke the silence. “Damnit! I wish I didn’t have to do this party tonight. I want to spend the rest of this evening in our dorm room with candles lit and no clothes on at all.”

Scott smiled. “Yes, that idea has definite appeal, but let’s go and have some fun at the party and then we can put your plan into action. There’s no law that says we can’t have both.” A sly smile spread across his face. “In fact, I’ve been planning it along with the dinner for the past month. I can’t believe you’ve allowed us to go so long without complaining about it, but tonight you and I are going to do the one thing we haven’t done yet. It’s taken every ounce of energy and restraint I have to hold off until now.”

Derek froze and turned to face him. “What?”

A small crinkle of concern appeared on Scott’s forehead. “Oh, I don’t mean to assume anything, but I was hoping that…I was thinking we would…” His voice trailed off as he stared at Derek.

A month’s worth of anxiety, disappointment, and worry flooded out of Derek in one fast rush. He’s been thinking about this for a month. He wanted to wait until the perfect time for the two of us to finally have sex. The realization replaced the void left in the absence of his worries and filled him with a greater excitement and happiness than he had ever felt before. The sensation filled him until he felt he might lift off the ground. Hot tears formed in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks.

“What did I say?” The crinkle on Scott’s forehead deepened and he stepped forward so the two of them were mere inches apart.

“No, it’s not what you think. These aren’t upset tears.” He laughed and knew that Scott probably thought he was losing his mind. “It’s that I’ve been waiting for this for so long and I was beginning to wonder if you wanted it like I did.”

Scott placed a hand on Derek’s shoulder. “I don’t want to assume anything here, so let me make sure I understand what you’re saying. You didn’t know if I wanted to have sex with you?”

He couldn’t bring himself to answer. He couldn’t even bring himself to raise his head to look into Scott’s eyes. “Something like that.”

A gentle finger slipped beneath his chin, urging his head up until he was staring directly into Scott’s eyes. “Baby, I’ve been thinking about having sex with you from the first day we started college. I’ll admit, I’m terrified. I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid I’ll do it wrong or something. But don’t you spend one second wondering whether I want you.”