Authors: A.D. Ryan
I
sighed, defeated. He was right. I was acting juvenile. “You’re right. I let my
emotions get the best of me.”
Nick
shook his head. “No. You let the
wolf
get the best of you. You need to work on that. There’s a fine line between
being in control and letting it control you. You’re the one who said you didn’t
want to give up on your humanity completely, but what I just witnessed was the
furthest thing from attaining that goal. You were completely wild. I shudder to
think what might have happened had I not come out here when I heard the commotion.”
I
had no excuses for what I’d just engaged in. Only guilt.
“After
what Karl did, you seemed confident that you wouldn’t be giving into the wolf
anymore. Yet, today, you almost lost yourself to it
twice
because you’ve been refusing even the slightest hint of it. I
warned you what would happen if you chose that route. You’d become volatile and
completely unpredictable.” He paused.
I
thought about what he said and realized he was right. After Karl attacked me, I
had promised myself I wouldn’t shift. Then, earlier in the pit, the wolf had
emerged just enough to keep me within my comfort zone, but I sensed it would
fully surface if pushed too far. And what happened with Roxanne had taken it
even further. I felt myself on the brink of turning my humanity off completely
and giving into every primal urge the wolf had. I might have torn her apart had
it not been for Nick.
Nick
wrapped his arm around me and coaxed me back toward the house. “Come on. Let’s
head back inside and put some space between the two of you. You both need some
time.”
Inside
again, I retired to our room and pulled out my phone while Nick headed downstairs
to talk to Marcus about what had happened. I hated feeling like he was tattling
on me for misbehaving, but he had every right to report my aggressive behavior
to our Alpha. It was in the Pack’s best interest.
Wanting
to forget about my altercation with Roxanne, I dialed my parents’ house phone
and waited for one of them to answer. On the third ring, my dad’s voice filled
my head, taking away every awful thing I’d done earlier today.
“Brooke,”
he exclaimed happily. “How’s it going, kiddo?”
It
wasn’t an easy question to answer given everything that had happened the last
few days, but I plastered a big grin on my face and lied through my teeth.
“Great, actually.”
“Yeah?
What have you been up to?”
I
sat on the end of the bed and
criss-crossed
my legs.
“Not too much, really. We just finished setting up the Christmas tree, and it
got me thinking about you guys and how much I’m going to miss you on Christmas
morning.”
Dad
was quiet for a moment, and I thought I heard him sniffle. “Yeah, it’s going to
be weird not having you around.”
“How’s
Mom?”
Dad
cleared his throat. “She’s doing well. She’s at a meeting with a client and
won’t be home until later.”
“Will
you ask her to call me when she gets home? I’d love to say hi.”
“Of
course.”
Curious
about work, I picked at a loose thread on the hem of my jeans and asked, “How’s
the…how’s the case going?”
“Not
well, I’m afraid. Nothing new has surfaced since the last time I spoke to you.
It’s the strangest thing.”
I
laughed humorlessly. “Yeah. Strange.” He didn’t know the half of it.
Suddenly,
there was a large crash as the balcony window shattered to my right. Startled,
I hopped off the bed and found a large rock lying in the middle of my floor.
The smell of blood filled the room, and I noticed something was written on the
rock as I took another step closer.
“What
was that?” Dad demanded, clearly having heard the glass break.
“I…
It, um… I dropped a glass on the floor and it broke,” I
lied
,
my eyes locked on the red letters that defaced the huge tan-colored rock. I
recognized the stone as one similar to those that were half-covered in snow
surrounding the gazebo. “Dad? I have to go.”
“You’re
sure?”
I
nodded, even though he couldn’t see me, but my eyes never strayed from the
four-letter word that felt more like a promise than a threat. “Yeah. I’ll talk
to you later, okay?”
After
hanging up my phone, I put it in my pocket and picked up the rock. Footsteps
thundered up the stairs and down the hall before the door to my room burst open
and Nick barreled in, followed by Marcus, Miranda, and Jackson.
“What
was that?” Nick asked, crossing the room to me and looking down at the rock in
my hand. His eyes grew wide as he read the word
“SOON”
that had been written in fresh blood, and I heard the rumble
that was building inside him. He was on the verge of losing control of his
emotions again, and I didn’t know what I could do to help him through it.
Seconds
later, the scent of blood was replaced with that of fire and burning wood while
the sound of crackling flames drifted in through the broken balcony door. I
scanned the horizon, looking for the telltale orange and red that should have
illuminated the dark sky based on the strength of the smell. I saw nothing…until
my eyes drifted down toward the forest entrance. There, I saw a dark figure
flee into the woods, pausing in the shadow of a tree to turn and look up at us.
I squinted, hoping to identify them, but all I could make out was that it was
definitely male. Whoever it was remained too hidden in the shadows for me to
get a good look at their face. But their eyes…
There
was a twinge in my stomach and
a niggle
in the back of
mind that I couldn’t ignore. I tried to attribute this feeling to one of
disgust for this creature, but for some weird reason, it felt like it was more
than just that…like maybe I should recognize
whoever
it was. I didn’t know why I felt this way, but I connected it to how I felt at
the mall when I swore I was being watched. There was definitely something…
familiar
about it.
T
he shadowy figure
bolted as the flames continued to crackle somewhere out of sight. A breeze
flowed in through the broken window, forcing the scent of the blood on the rock
to invade my nose again, and this time I recognized it in an instant…because
I’d spilled enough of it outside just a little while ago.
“Roxanne,”
I murmured, dropping the rock and bolting for the balcony door.
Nick
shouted my name as I threw the doors open and launched myself over the railing
like it was a hurdle on a
race track
. I gave no consideration
to the dangers my actions could lead to and landed with as much ease as
possible, stumbling slightly but pushing myself to my feet and sniffing the air
to determine where the fire was. I smelled burning cedar and knew right away
that it was the gazebo on fire. I heard a
thud
behind me, then another, and I chanced a quick look over my shoulder to see
Nick and Jackson on my heels as I raced around to the back of the house.
When
I reached the bridge leading to the gazebo, I slipped on a patch of ice. I
quickly grabbed the wooden railing of the bridge as I swung around it and raced
across the slippery planks and through the snow toward the blaze. The heat was
almost too much to bear, but I could see Roxanne’s still body in the center of
the fire, lying face down on the floor of the gazebo.
“Roxanne!”
I cried, stopping a foot from the fire and searching for a way to get through.
She didn’t move.
“Shit,”
Nick muttered behind me before rounding the right side of the gazebo. Jackson
went left.
The
sound of wood snapping made me gasp, and I watched as the roof started to give.
I was just about to run through the growing flames when Nick jumped through the
fire and over the low wall of the structure. He scooped Roxanne up in his arms
and looked back the way he came. The fire had grown in those few seconds, and
it was no longer an option.
Panicked,
I started to toss snow on the fire, hoping to quell the flames just enough for
them to escape. My attempts were futile, and before Nick could make his move,
the roof caved in, and everything disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a flare
of heat.
“Nick!”
I shouted, my voice shrill and cracking with fear. I ran forward, but I barely
made it a foot when strong arms grabbed me around the waist and held me back.
“Don’t
be stupid, kid,” Jackson said, holding me back. He was strong, and I did my
best to fight my way out of his hold on me.
Tears
streamed down my face, and eventually my body stopped fighting Jackson as my
legs gave out.
This can’t be happening
again
, I thought to myself as I slumped to the ground. The melting snow seeped
into my jeans and gave me a slight chill as I sobbed into Jackson’s chest.
Then
I heard it: the crunch of footsteps through snow just beneath the sound of the
crackling flames.
The
knot in my stomach tightened and then released as my eyes drifted up. My vision
was blurred from tears, and I rubbed them away roughly when I thought they were
playing tricks on me. Like a scene in a movie, a dark shadow emerged from the
wreckage in front of us, a body cradled in its arms. It was Nick. He’d found a
way out.
I
released a cry of relief as Jackson let go of me, and I ran forward. I wanted
to throw myself into Nick’s arms, but couldn’t due to Roxanne’s still body. She
was naked and covered in soot with patches of red, blistering flesh peeking
through.
“She’s
breathing,” Nick said, handing her off to Jackson. “But barely. We need to get
her back to the house.”
Nick
looked down at me as Jackson took off for the house. His face was also smudged
with soot, skin glistening with sweat, and I could smell the singed ends of his
hair from where the fire licked at him. My lip quivered as my fear expelled
itself from my body, and Nick pulled me into his arms.
“It’s
okay,” he mumbled into the top of my head. “I’m fine.”
The
structural beams of the gazebo were the next to go. The sound frightened me and
made me press closer to Nick. As it all fell to the ground, the flames appeared
to wane for a moment. Vince,
Layla
, Corbin, and Colby
all appeared and helped us contain the fire. While we worked, the memory of the
shadowy figure wouldn’t leave me. It needled at me, haunting me until it was
all I could think about. My focus was no longer on the dwindling flames; I
swore I could still feel a pair of penetrating eyes on us all.
Was
this what it wanted? To get a portion of the Pack out in the open together so
it could strike? Something told me I was right.
Panic
pulsed through my veins, and I slowly stood. Every hair on my body stood on end
as the wind picked up and whipped through my disheveled hair. I surveyed the
area, allowing my eyes time to adjust to the darker parts after staring into a
blazing fire. I found nothing. My ears strained against the whistle of the wind
to see if I could single out the sound of someone watching us, but it was a wasted
effort. Even if he was out there, I wasn’t surprised I couldn’t hear it. It’s
not like they had to breathe, and I was almost positive they could probably
stand perfectly still for hours if they had to.
It
creeped
me out to even think about it.
“Brooke?”
Nick said, breathless.
I
turned around to see the rest of them had stopped trying to extinguish the much
smaller fire and were instead watching me intently.
“What
is it?” Nick looked concerned as he stepped ahead of me, his eyes now scanning
the darkness beyond the bridge ahead of us. “What did you see?”
“Nothing…I
think.” A pause. “Earlier, when the rock came through the window, I saw someone…some
thing
. A man. Maybe.”
Nick
turned quickly, panic in his eyes. “Did you see what he looked like?”
“No.”
I shook my head. “It was too dark. But I can’t shake the feeling that he’s out
there…watching us.”
This
seemed to agitate Nick, who cast his eyes past me to the rest of them.
“Go,”
Vince spoke up. “We’ll get this under control. Call if you need backup.”
With
the fire not much more than a burning pile of embers, Nick looked back at me
and nodded into the darkness. “Let’s go.”
“Go?
Go where?”
The
smile that spread across his face was grim, yet wicked. “We’re going to try and
track it while the trail is still fresh.”
Without
a second thought, I followed Nick across the bridge and through the snow. He
was walking fast, his strides twice the length of mine, but I didn’t struggle
to keep up. When he stopped, I stopped and looked to up to find him staring at
me.
“Where
did you see it?”
Taking
a quick glance toward the house—to our bedroom window—I let my eyes
follow the invisible trail to where I saw the shadowy figure and then pointed
before walking in that direction. “Over here.” We arrived and I surveyed the
area while Nick literally sniffed around. There were fresh footprints marring
the freshly fallen snow, and the foul stench of death lingered in the area. It
was starting to dissipate in the cool winter air, but some of it hung there
like stale cigarette smoke.
“Shit,”
Nick muttered under his breath. I wondered if he even meant for me to hear him,
but before I could ask him what it was, he took my hand and led me deeper into
the trees. “Stay close to me…no matter what.”
“What
is it?” I asked, my voice trembling slightly since I had no idea who we were up
against. “Do you know who it is? I mean…have you come up against it before?”
Nick
was silent a moment before sighing. “I can’t be too sure. I think I recognized
its scent, but they all start to smell the same over time. I can usually only
decipher whether they’re male or female anymore.”
The
longer we walked, the stronger the smell got—not by too much, but it was
enough to prove we were on the right track. We walked for…I wasn’t sure how
long, all I knew was that the sky had grown darker and the moon shone just a
little bit brighter. When we hit the edge of the frozen lake, Nick turned to
me.
“We
need to shift,” he said, pulling his sweater over his head and tossing it to
the ground.
Fear
gripped my heart and forced my stomach to clench. Even though I’d confronted
Karl and reasserted my strength as a human, that didn’t assuage my insecurities
as a wolf. I told myself I’d never shift again—that I would find a way to
avoid it and keep the wolf under wraps—and Nick wanted me to do something
I wasn’t comfortable with? Why? Even though I’d almost shifted while fighting
Roxanne, I still wasn’t ready to confront one of our enemies in my wolf form.
“The
ice is thin,” he explained as though reading my thoughts—or maybe it was
the panic on my face that spoke volumes. “If we walk across upright, we risk
falling through. We can’t very well lay flat on our stomachs and crawl
across—that could take precious hours we don’t have. We’ll be quicker on
all fours, and the pads of our feet and our claws will give us a little more
traction so we can run.”
What
he said made sense, but I still hated the idea.
The wolf,
though?
She was hopping around and just itching to be let out. I could
feel its need for the hunt burning through me, and a fresh surge of adrenaline
pulsed through my veins even though I didn’t want to give in to this feeling. I
clenched my fists, ready to fight the beginning fever and tingling skin.
“Brooke,”
Nick said softly, walking toward me, shirtless. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”
I
knew he was right, but it still didn’t mean I felt strong as a wolf. It didn’t
mean I thought I would be able to handle myself if we came up against a vampire
out here. I couldn’t handle
Gianna
as a wolf; I
killed her in my human body.
“This
isn’t about Karl,” I confessed, a shiver rolling up my spine and making me
cringe against it. The wolf was growing stronger in its desire to be freed, and
I could feel my consciousness slowly slipping. It was going to win, and I was
going to be forced to make a decision: welcome it or deny it. One of these
options would have me locked away and I wouldn’t be aware of tonight until I
woke in my human body later.
“Breathe,”
Nick said, trying to calm the beast within.
I
did as he instructed, opening my eyes and getting lost in the ocean blue swirls
of his irises. The amber rings around his pupils brightened and appeared to
expand. “I don’t feel strong like that,” I reminded him.
“Because
you’re still not used to it.” He cupped my face in his massive hands. “But if you
continue to fight it, you’re never going to be. You’ll keep blacking out, and
while the wolf will do its best to fight and keep you safe, it isn’t as strong
on its own as it is when you’re aware of what’s going on. Your human instincts
combined with your animal ones are what make you strong. You need to learn to
listen to the wolf, and she needs to learn to listen to you before your true
power can be harnessed. It’s a very symbiotic relationship.”
I
glanced across the frozen body of water and felt my apprehension flare up
again. I did what I could to tamp it down and slowly nodded, knowing what he
said was true and that the more I stood here and fought him, the more likely we
were to have the trail run cold.
“Okay,”
I said. “What do I do?”
Nick
leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “You’ve been through this a few times
now.”
“Yeah,
but none of them were my doing. They were all triggered by something—the
moon or the scent of
them
.”
“But
you’ve been aware during it,” he repeated. “You’ve felt the fever, the ripple
under your skin, the way your bones realign.”
“It’s
excruciating,” I interjected with a tremble.
Nick’s
head bobbed up and down. “It is, but you need to accept the pain and let it
take you where you need to go. The pain reminds you that you’re alive, that you
can
handle it.”
Hearing
this calmed me in a way I hadn’t expected, and I started to pull my clothes
from my body, adding them to the pile Nick had created with his shirt and then
jeans. The wolf was still just below the surface, pacing the line that
separated us, and when I closed my eyes, I granted it access.
The
fever burned through me. It was so hot, I feared my insides might melt or I
might combust. I ignored the raging inferno that blazed inside me and focused
on my bones shifting. The first crack in my spine sent me to my hands and
knees, and my back arched toward the sky like a cat stretching—only this
didn’t relieve the tension in my spine as each vertebra popped and grew beneath
my skin. The bones in my fingers lengthened, cracking and shifting, before they
pulled back and claws painfully split through the ends. I tried to rein in my
cries of agony, accepting the pain like Nick had said and letting it take me to
that final destination. Once I was there, I knew everything would be okay if I
stayed with Nick. If we got separated, I didn’t know what I would do, so I
would have to make sure that didn’t happen.