Authors: A.D. Ryan
Karl continued to favor
his arm as he struggled to reset it, and I turned the key. I pulled the cage
door open, ignoring the burn of the silver on my skin as I stepped inside. The
look on Karl’s face was a combination of pure rage and fear; he hadn’t been
expecting me to act so impulsively—and, to be honest, neither had I.
Blood dripped down his
arm from where the bone had pierced his skin, but I didn’t feel bad. Instead, I
latched onto his fear and let it fuel my vengeance. In that moment, I had no
qualms about killing him. Was this how the others felt? Did this make their
brand of justice okay? My humanity struggled to remain front and
center,
perhaps afraid of what it might bear witness to.
Taking a deep breath, I
regained some of my composure, letting my rage ebb a little, but this turned
out to be my first mistake.
Karl had managed to set
his elbow—though the skin was still broken and bleeding profusely—and
took the opportunity to rush me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting
me off the ground, and then slammed me into the concrete floor with a roar. All
the breath was forced from my lungs, and my head hit the floor so hard it
jarred me. I saw actual stars every time I blinked.
As I struggled through
each breath, I tried to roll over and get to my feet. My movements were slow
and unsure, like I was paddling through molasses, and my fingers curled against
the cold, hard floor as I pulled myself toward the cage door.
Toward freedom.
What was I thinking?
I’d barely gripped the
bottom of the cage, burning the tips of my fingers as I tried to use it to pull
myself forward further, when I felt Karl’s massive hands grip my thighs and
pull me back toward him. Blood from his elbow covered my jeans and sweater as
he positioned himself above me, straddling my thighs until I couldn’t move. I
was afraid of what might happen in the next few minutes, but more than anything
I was pissed off.
“Get off me!” I shouted,
squirming. I was able to move a couple inches, but it wasn’t enough and I continued
to struggle. Sensing I might get away, Karl wound up and slapped me. It felt
like the entire left side of my face exploded, and I tasted blood when my
bottom lip split.
Karl looked down at me, a
cocky grin on his face. “What’s wrong, princess? I thought you came down here
to show me how tough you really are.” He leaned down toward me, inhaling deeply
as his hands started to move up my body and toward my breasts.
The human cried, tears
falling down the side of my face and onto the concrete floor as she bit back a
sob of defeat, so the wolf leapt forward. With a loud cry, I locked my humanity
away where it couldn’t be further victimized by this monster and brought both
of my hands together, swinging them across the right side of his face. This
forced him slightly off balance, and I was able to work my legs free, bringing
my left knee to my chest before slamming the heel of my foot into his crotch
and sending him to the ground in the fetal position. I stood up, slightly dazed
as the room spun around me from when I’d hit my head, but looked down at Karl
as he groaned in pain.
“I’m sorry,” I said
through short, uneven breaths, pushing my disheveled hair out of my face and
wiping the blood from my lip with the back of my hand. “You were saying?”
In an effort to knock me
off my feet, Karl swung his good arm out toward my ankle, but I dodged it,
grabbing the front of his shirt and punching him in the nose. It
broke—again—but instead of feeling satisfaction, I kept hitting
him. Blood flowed freely from his nose and the skin of my knuckles split every
time they connected with his face. It wasn’t until the pain in my hands
registered that I stopped. I was pissed about the night of the full moon, and
even more pissed about how I’d walked into this cage without realizing he might
still be a threat—even with drugs in his system. I underestimated him,
something I probably wouldn’t have done if I’d been thinking rationally.
Thinking like a cop…like a
human
.
Out of breath, my hand
swollen and potentially broken from the repeated bludgeoning, I stood up. Sweat
covered my entire body, as I stepped back through the cage door, slamming it
shut and locking it again. I tossed the key back on the table for Marcus and
watched as Karl struggled back to his feet.
“Told you, you couldn’t
kill me,” he rasped, spitting the blood from his mouth onto the floor like some
kind of barbarian.
“Give me time,” I
replied, venom lacing each word.
My legs trembled with
full-body fatigue as I ascended the stairs, and I had to brace myself on the
banister when I became a little light-headed. I assumed it was just my
adrenaline waning, so I pushed through it, knowing I could probably make it to
my bed before succumbing to it. The wolf was satiated for the most part, and
while I could still feel its bloodlust for Karl bubbling deep inside, it seemed
content knowing we’d done just a little bit of damage.
The old wooden door at
the top of the stairs creaked as I pushed it open, and I was surprised to find
Marcus there, standing guard. At first, it seemed odd that he’d be there,
waiting…until my eyes moved past him and I found Nick there, looking anxious
and on the verge of murderous.
“I told you she was
fine,” Marcus said, stepping out of the way as I passed through the threshold.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be heading down there to assess the damage.”
“He’s alive,” I said,
turning my head to the side until I could see Marcus through my periphery. “I
couldn’t kill him.”
Marcus smiled. “Nobody
expected you to, Brooke.”
With Marcus gone, Nick
rushed toward me. His hands were surprisingly gentle as he held my face, his
thumb moving over my slowly healing bottom lip. “I’m fine,” I assured him, my
voice trembling as I tried to pull my face away from his grasp.
His eyes surveyed the
length of my body, widening when he noticed all the blood on my clothes.
“Brooke, did he…?”
“The blood’s his,” I
said. “Mostly, anyway. I broke his arm, and when he grabbed me, it spread.”
“He”—anger raged
across Nick’s face and thickened the air in a second—“
grabbed
you?”
I inhaled deeply,
dropping my eyes to the floor sheepishly. I was still ashamed that I’d willingly
put myself into a position to be manhandled by him again. It didn’t seem to
matter that I’d handled it in the end; I knew better than to let it happen in
the first place. While I’d still picked up on Karl’s fear, he’d done a good job
at concealing his true intentions once I’d stepped into his space like a fly
into the spider’s web.
“Only for a second.” I
lost my balance, toppling toward Nick. The room started to fade into darkness,
and a throb originated in the back of my head before spreading all the way
through.
He caught me in his arms,
looking worried. “Brooke? What’s wrong?”
“I… My head. I hit it
when I fell.”
Scooping me up in his
arms, Nick carried me upstairs, and I vaguely remembered him calling for
Miranda before I blacked out.
M
y eyelids were heavy,
and my head throbbed as I came to. I looked around the room, my vision blurry
at first, but slowly clearing. The curtains were drawn, the comforter pulled up
around me, and I could hear water running in the bathroom.
With
a groan, I sat up. The pounding in my head only intensified once I was upright.
It originated in the back of my head, but my brain felt like it was ten sizes
too big for my skull. I tossed the blanket from my legs and turned to put my
feet on the ground. I’d barely stood before Nick exited the bathroom and rushed
to my side.
I
wobbled slightly as he slipped his arm around my waist and lowered me back onto
the edge of the bed. “Hey,” he said softly. “You need to take it easy.”
Glancing
down at the bedside table, I noticed a glass of water and a bottle of Aspirin.
Nick opened the bottle and handed me a couple. I chased them with a large gulp
of water, handing the glass back and thanking him.
“God,
my head feels like it’s going to explode,” I moaned, my vision darkening around
the edges as the light-headed feeling returned.
The
bed dipped next to me as Nick sat down. His hand moved up and down my back a
few times before he brushed a strand of hair from my cheek. “You’ve got a very
mild concussion,” Nick explained softly as he trailed the back of his finger
down my tender cheekbone. “You want to tell me what happened down there?”
The
events from the pit were somewhat hazy at first, but then everything came back
to me in vivid, Technicolor clarity. “I let my guard down. I could smell his
fear, but my ego had already gotten in the way.”
Beside
me, Nick chuckled. “The wolf can be cocky and impulsive.”
“Marcus
had left the key, assuming I would want the opportunity to exact my revenge on
him for what he tried to do. Part of me knew I shouldn’t, but my desire to see
Karl suffer was too great. I’d barely stepped inside the cage when he rushed me
and slammed me into the ground.” I brought my hand up to the back of my head
and cringed when I felt the swollen lump. “I tried to get away, but I was disoriented,
and he pulled me back.”
“Is
that when he hit you?”
My
cheek throbbed at the memory, and I nodded. “How long was I out?”
Nick
picked up my hand and clasped it between his. “Barely an hour.” He turned his
body to face me. “Brooke, I tried to get down there, but Marcus wouldn’t let
me. You should know that.”
I
smiled as much as I could without pain blistering in my cheek and eye. “I suspected
as much.”
“He
shouldn’t have left you alone down there.”
Shaking
my head, I turned toward him. “No, it was what I needed. I needed to face him
alone after what he did.”
Nick
sighed. I recognized his submission for what it was, but I also sensed a
smidgen of fear and anger for what could have happened. “I handled it. Yes, I
slipped up and things looked bleak for a few seconds, but I regained the upper
hand.”
“How
badly did you kick his ass?” he asked, the beginning of a grin audible in his
voice.
Smirking,
I leaned in as if to whisper. “I broke his arm and nose.”
Nick’s
posture straightened, and I sensed a bit of dominance and, dare I say it,
something very similar to Marcus’ Alpha personality traits rolling off him.
“Good.”
“What
will you do to him?” I asked, not sure if I really cared one way or the other.
The wolf knew how things happened in this world, and it was obvious it didn’t
care if Karl died, but the human part of me didn’t want to be an accessory to
murder.
Nick
shrugged. “Not sure. I guess it’ll depend on what he says and what you want to
happen to him.”
I
paused briefly. “And if I wanted him dead?” Nick looked at me, seemingly
shocked by my question. “Would you really be able to do that?”
Nick
contemplated this for a minute before resolution settled in his expression.
“After what he tried to do to you that night? What he did to you this
afternoon? I wouldn’t think twice.”
His
response hadn’t surprised me, but I let this confession roll around in my head
for a minute, unaffected by it. Even though I knew I didn’t want to be involved
in taking someone’s life, my willingness to accept this as the Pack’s way of
life caught me off guard. The wolf justified it as something that just had to
happen in this world. It would be no different in the wild; males fought for
dominance within any wolf pack, and mates were not to be shared. Any male who
tried to contest the laws of nature was seen as a threat and dealt with.
“But
you’d have trouble accepting it,” Nick continued, pulling me from my jarring
turn of thought.
“You
wouldn’t?”
Exhaling
a heavy breath, Nick stood up and paced in front of me. “The rules are clear,
and the consequences known. He may be a part of the Pack, but that doesn’t
excuse what he did.”
“So
taking his life would be easy?”
“I’m
not saying it would be
easy
—killing
someone is never easy—but I’d make peace with it if it meant keeping the
Pack safe…keeping
you
safe.”
All
the breath left my lungs in a soft whoosh. I knew this still shouldn’t justify
Karl’s death, but it sort of did. The wolf was more than appeased by my sudden
shift in attitude, but it also unnerved me to think my humanity might be
slipping. It was all very confusing, and I wasn’t sure if this internal
conflict would ever be resolved.
“I
won’t be deciding anything today,” Nick assured me, possibly sensing my conflict.
“But the decision still needs to be made, and I will take anything you have to
say into consideration.” He knelt in front of me, coaxing my eyes to his, and
all I saw was his love and concern for me. “One way or the other, though, Karl
will be leaving this Pack. If he is allowed to live, he will be outcast and
won’t be able to settle down anywhere. Most strays are given land from the Pack
in the area, but if someone has been cast out, they’re forced to keep moving.
No Pack will allow them to put down roots. It not only shows respect to the
wronged Pack, but also keeps their Pack safe from a repeat incident within
their house.”
What
Nick said made a lot of sense—strangely; I was still getting used to the
Pack Law, but with every day that passed, the more willingly I accepted most of
what I was told as fact. I didn’t even question it anymore; I just understood
it as the way it worked.
Unless it involved murder; that was
my gray area.
A
knock at the door pulled my focus from the topic at hand, and Nick got up to
answer it. Miranda popped her head in and smiled when she saw me. “You’re
awake,” she said, an air of relief in her voice. “How’s your head?”
“Sore,
but intact. Thanks.”
“Good
to hear.” She glanced between the two
of us, her smile and
good mood somewhat infectious
. “Dinner’s almost ready. Will you be joining
us?”
Nick
glanced up at me expectantly, as though the decision was entirely mine. I
nodded, looking back at Miranda. “We’ll be right down.”
“Take
your time.”
Nick
stood up and pulled me to my feet. “Think about what we talked about. I won’t
do anything without your consent when it comes to him, but know that my
conscience won’t suffer should he die.” His dominance flared again, the
strength and heat of it enveloping me and sending a ripple down my spine. “He
deserves worse, in my opinion.
No one
touches you without repercussions.”
I
brought a hand up to his cheek, enjoying the scratchy sensation of his rough
stubble against my palm. “So possessive,” I teased lightly, locking eyes with
him.
“I
don’t mean to be,” he replied almost apologetically.
Shaking
my head, I cut him off. “You do, and it’s fine. I like that you’re so protective
of me…” I took a deep breath. “Just know that I can take care of myself, too. I
appreciate that you’ll always have my back, and I love how incredibly
dependable I’ve come to realize you are.”
Nick
rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I know I haven’t always
been there for you, but the thought of anything happening to you kills me.”
I
shifted my head slightly, and Nick’s eyes flipped open. It wasn’t often Nick
showed his emotions in such a way, but his fear for me must have overwhelmed
him.
“Then
don’t let it,” I whispered.
The
smell of pine needles filled my head, and I noticed several plastic bins littering
the hall as we made our way toward the stairs. One glance into the open bins,
and I saw they were filled with Christmas decorations.
A
pang of longing filled my chest; in all the madness, I’d completely forgotten
that Christmas was coming up. The sudden reminder had me missing my parents
even more than usual. To help ease the feeling, I made a silent plan to call
them after dinner to talk. Perhaps talking to my mom would help keep my
wavering humanity grounded. I knew what was wrong and what was right, but the
way I behaved in the pit had rattled me. Letting the wolf out was empowering,
and I hadn’t felt that way since before the attack. It was intoxicating, and I
found I still craved it.
Nick
had once told me that hanging onto my humanity only meant I couldn’t fully embrace
this life.
That there had to be balance.
I was starting
to understand that, and while I believed I had accepted the wolf, I just
couldn’t surrender my morals to it. That was where I struggled most. What they
deemed “okay” went against everything I stood for as a cop, and I couldn’t just
let that go. Surely that wasn’t a bad thing. I mean, if I gave up on that part
of myself, what made me so different from Karl?
Nick
must have picked up on my mood, because he took my hand in his and squeezed it
as we descended the stairs. The smell of pine was more concentrated on the main
floor, and when I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw the largest Christmas
tree I’d ever seen standing in the space between the foyer and the living room.
It hadn’t yet been decorated, and I could only assume they’d put it up while I
was in the pit with Karl…or unconscious.
The
first thing I noticed when we entered the dining room was that there was one
less chair on the right side of the table.
Karl’s.
“If he is allowed to live, he
will be outcast and won’t be able to settle down anywhere.”
It
looked like they’d already begun the process of extricating him from their
lives. Even though he was still in the house, I felt relief knowing they had
chosen me.
Nick
and I were the first to sit at the table, and soon everyone else began filtering
in. Jackson smiled proudly as his eyes locked with mine, and his hands clamped
down on my shoulders in a congratulatory way. My growing friendship with
Jackson filled the void left by Bobby’s death to some degree. I was finally at
a place where I felt comfortable with him after the night he bit me in
Chaparral Park two months ago.
“Good
to see you up and about, kid,”
Jackson
announced,
ruffling up my hair before rounding the table to his seat. “And I hear
congratulations are in order.”
My
cheeks warmed with the flush of embarrassment. “I don’t know that I’d go that
far,” I replied quietly as the dining room continued to fill up.
“You
faced your demons,” Jackson said. “That’s something to be proud of. Don’t
downplay it.”
Beside
me, Nick placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed. “He’s right.”
Miranda
and Colby finished setting the table and were the last two to sit down. As I
watched the women help
themselves
first, I started to
understand the differences between meals at the table and ones out in the wild.
Pack etiquette meant the Alpha and his mate ate first like the other night
after the hunt, but this was Marcus acknowledging human etiquette. It was nice
to be reminded of this after everything I’d been through recently. The wolf
wasn’t always so aggressive and feral. Sometimes there was room for humanity.
Maybe I wasn’t wrong to contest the wolf’s impulses from time to time.