Wolf Moon (11 page)

Zealously,
I thrust my fingers into his hair when he continued his path down my body. He
looped his fingers into the sides of the lace thong I wore and inched it down
my water-slickened thighs at an agonizingly slow pace. His nails scratched my
skin on their descent, and I whimpered when his mouth followed the trail.
Desire swelled in my belly, settling heavily between my legs, and I pressed
them together to help ease my suffering a little.

Heavy-lidded,
I glanced down to find Nick looking up at me. His eyes were dark, excited, and
my breathing picked up as a fresh surge of desire shot through my veins.

Nick
stood abruptly, capturing my lips in another searing kiss. My lips throbbed against
his, but I only kissed him harder. I was ravenous, and my urges proved unquenchable.
He must have felt the same way, because his hands gripped my thighs, and he
lifted me hastily. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed his hips
forward, entering me swiftly, and pleasure sizzled through my veins.

“Oh,
god,” he groaned, his fingers curling into the backs of my thighs as our hips
undulated beneath the steady flow of water from the shower.

His
eyes held mine, and I could feel the emotion behind them. This wasn’t just
familiarity coursing between us that caused this; what we were experiencing was
true and passionate. The connection Nick and I shared was deep and
intense—it always had been. It wasn’t unusual for us to forget the rest
of the world whenever we were together; it was a compulsion that could never be
satiated. Not even when we were mere humans.

Our
primal, animalistic urges only seemed to amplify as we pawed at each other and
worked fervently to attain release. The tension from the impending full moon was
redirected as pressure continued to build in my lower belly, tightening like a
coil. When it became too much, I bit my lower lip to contain my cries.

Nick
shook his head, lifting a hand to brush the wet hair from my face. “Don’t hold
back,” he urged, his words punctuated by his movements. He leaned forward,
resting his cheek against mine until his lips grazed the shell of my ear. “Let
it out.”

The
deep tenor of his voice vibrated through me, right down to my bones. It set my
nerves on fire, the flames licking across my skin like I’d been doused in
gasoline, and I pressed my face into his shoulder and let go. I cried out in
pleasure as my arms and legs tightened around him. Waves of ecstasy crashed
through me, and Nick shuddered in my arms as he coaxed my face from his
shoulder and kissed me softly. I welcomed his affection, stroking his cheek and
letting my lips soften against his. The gesture was gentle and loving, but the
way his thumb stroked my cheek reminded me of David and triggered an avalanche
of repressed emotions.

 
The last thing I expected was to have a
panic attack.

At
first I couldn’t pinpoint where this sudden turn in my emotions had come from,
but as the fog of lust cleared, the weight of my grief and guilt bore down on
me until it was all I could focus on. It crushed me, and I momentarily
struggled to breathe.

“I’m
sorry,” I apologized, pulling back and hiding my face in my hands. I could feel
Nick’s concern thicken the air, cutting through the lingering lust, before he
voiced it.

“Hey,”
he soothed, reaching out and gently taking my hands in his and coaxing them
away from my face. “Honey, you’re scaring me. What is it?”

He
was being so sweet, and I hoped he would understand what I was going through.
My biggest fear was that he wouldn’t.

When
I met his eyes, I knew he’d figured it out, and he looked horrified. “It was
too soon,” he whispered. “You weren’t ready.”

My
chin quivered. “I thought I was… I really did.” He seemed crushed, the deep
lines of worry in his forehead giving it away. “I don’t…I don’t regret it,” I
stammered. While I didn’t sound absolutely sure in my conviction, it didn’t
feel like a lie, either; I fully accepted that I had wanted it as much as he
did. What I hadn’t anticipated was what would happen after the moment had
passed. I had no idea that by forgetting my grief for even a few minutes, that
I would feel the weight of it on my heart tenfold. It ripped open the sucking
chest wound I’d worked so hard to patch up these last couple weeks, and I found
it hard to hold myself together.

“What
can I do to help you through this?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. He
kissed my forehead.

I
sighed as his lips touched my forehead. “Just…don’t give up on me.”

Nick
pulled me into his arms, our naked bodies pressed together innocently. “Never.
Take all the time you need. I’m sorry I pushed.”

“You
didn’t,” I assured him, nuzzling his chest just a little bit more. “It’s me.
I’ve just got so much going on.”

Nick
kissed the top of my head. “I know, but I should have respected that. Instead,
I let my urges get the best of me.”

Smiling,
I looked up at him. “It wasn’t just you,” I confessed. “I wanted you just as badly.
I was beyond reason.”

Nick
ran his hands over my hair and cupped my face. “Why don’t we talk about this a
little later? When we’re both not so”—he glanced down at our bodies and
smirked—“exposed.”

His
slight unease lightened the air in the room, and I laughed softly. “Okay,” I
agreed. “I’m just going to get redressed and comb my hair. I’ll meet you downstairs?”

Smiling,
he nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

I
left the bathroom and closed the door behind me, but before I did anything
else, I leaned against the door and exhaled a breath of relief. I counted to
ten, waiting until my heart had slowed back to its regular pace,
then
got ready.

While
I pulled on my jeans and sweater, I thought about what had happened, and why it
might have escalated the way it did. I concluded that, over the last couple
days, I’d had moments of weakness, but they were nothing like this. Something
else had to be fuelling my desires.

We
were both aware of how much closer we’d gotten lately, but I absolutely wasn’t
ready to move on—that much was made clear by my little break down a
moment ago. It had only been two weeks since David’s death, but, even after
seven years apart, it was just so easy to pick up where Nick and I left off. I
sometimes forgot we were ever even apart.

Were
my feelings for him even
real
? I
chastised myself for even wondering. Of course they were—without a
doubt—but was it just that old familiarity that made me feel this way, or
was it something else? Something deeper? Was it the solace I’d been seeking
that made me take that step? I couldn’t deny that there were times I just
wanted to forget everything and bury myself in something that made me feel
good
instead of the constant sadness and
guilt.

Remembering
how passionate and intense the sex was, I wondered if it was a wolf thing. Nick
even admitted that he had a habit of getting a little agitated after a shift.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that could very well be what
happened. I seemed to have a tendency to block out all rationality when the
wolf’s urges took over, and I recalled feeling particularly on edge about a
month ago.

The
way I was with David, aggressively passionate, was exactly what had just
happened with Nick. The only difference was he was just as assertive. It had to
have something to do with the wolf side of me. Everything was amplified now;
sight, hearing, emotions. Like everything else, my hormones were heightened and
hyper-sensitive
. He was like me, and my animal side
recognized that and craved that connection…that bond.

It
absolutely made sense.

What
I wanted to know was if it was
wrong
.
Was what we did disrespectful to David’s memory?

I
tried to shake off the whirlwind of thoughts and headed downstairs. If I
didn’t, I would stay in our room all day and obsess over what happened, and
that wasn’t healthy. I needed to focus on something else for a while.

I
still didn’t know the layout of the house very well, but the smell of breakfast
pulled me in the right direction, through the formal dining room off the foyer.
It was a bit of a surprise to only find Miranda and Colby there, slaving over
the stove and buttering toast respectively.

“Good
morning,” I greeted. “Need a hand?”

Miranda
turned around with a bright smile. “Hello!” She was so chipper; a natural
morning person, that much was evident. Wiping her hands on her little white
apron, she looked around at the smorgasbord of food laid out on the
counter—pancakes, waffles, fruit salad, French toast, eggs, bacon, and
ham. “Um, I think we’ve got everything under control,” she replied warmly.
“Feel free to pull up a seat and sample a few things before everyone else
arrives. Early bird gets the worm, after all.”

Colby
giggled as she set a plate down with about three loaves of toasted bread on it.
“How’d you sleep?” she asked, her voice very much like her mom’s.

“Really
well, thank you,” I said, grabbing a slice of the buttered toast and tearing off
a chunk as I leaned on the counter. “This place is amazing.”

“Thank
you.” Miranda returned to the stove and pulled a casserole dish from the oven,
presenting the massive quiche she’d also made. The amount of food she’d prepared
was startling, but with twelve supernatural creatures in the house with
out-of-control metabolisms, I supposed it only made sense.

Slowly,
other members of the Pack started filtering in. Vince and
Layla
were first.
Layla
was quick to grab the plates and
cutlery and set them on the huge island amidst the food, and Vince grabbed a
cup of coffee, offering me one. I accepted and grabbed a slice of bacon. My appetite
was building, and I was suddenly ravenous.

Corbin
and Marcus came in next, hair wild like they’d just been caught in a windstorm.
They smelled of the crisp air, and I picked up subtle hints of their recent
shift on them. I suspected they’d been out tracking our trespasser from last
night. The room soon filled with chatter, several conversations going on at
once, and I took it in, both admiring their familial bond and missing my own.
It helped keep my mind off what happened in the shower.

“
Mmmm
… Something smells absolutely
delicious
,” a deep, familiar voice said, sending an icy chill down
my spine. When a presence stepped within inches of my personal space, my
awareness spiked, putting my body on alert. Karl’s hands appeared on either
side of me, effectively pinning me in place, and when he inhaled deeply, I knew
he wasn’t just talking about the food.

“You
wearing a new perfume,
dollface
?” he asked, his deep
voice grating on my nerves. It didn’t take me long to recognize the meaning behind
his inquiry; he could smell Nick all over me. Hell,
I
could smell him all over me, regardless of the fact that we were
in the shower.

So,
why didn’t that deter him from approaching me?

Having
experienced my fair share of unwanted attention over the years, I wasn’t just going
to roll over and take it now.

Without
moving—because if I did, I was certain it would give him the wrong
impression—I gritted my teeth and kept my tone as even as possible. “I’m
going to ask you once to back the hell away from me,” I warned.

Karl
leaned in, his nose brushing the shell of my ear. I looked around to see several
others watching. Marcus looked like he was ready to jump in at any moment, but
I could only assume he was waiting for me to say the word. I didn’t. I felt
fairly confident in my ability to deal with the situation.

“Or
what? You
gonna
scream?” His voice wormed its way
beneath my skin, making it crawl. I got the impression that he didn’t give a
shit if I was with Nick or not. “I might like that.” His right hand inched
inward until he grabbed my hip roughly.

That
was all it took.

Even
though I knew it was going to hurt like hell, I threw my head back, feeling and
hearing the sickening crack of his nose breaking. It stunned me momentarily,
the pressure building in the back of my head, but soon my adrenaline pushed it
aside. As he took a couple of disoriented steps back, I grabbed his wrist and
twisted his arm backward, placing my other hand on his shoulder, ready to
dislocate it if he so much as moved. This forced him to his knees as blood
flowed from his nose, and I could feel his skin heat as his heavy breathing
turned to harsh, angry growls.

“Karl,
that’s enough,” Marcus warned firmly. “Brooke, let him up.”

Feeling
pretty smug, I shoved him forward, releasing him. He leapt to his feet, his
eyes full of rage. I could smell the changes his body was fighting under
Marcus’ orders, his anger, and more importantly, his shame. That last one was
more intoxicating than any drug for me, because I had caused it.

Before
anything else could happen, a much more appealing scent filtered into the room.
Showtime
.

Regardless
of what happened between
us earlier and my uncertainty,
I smiled brightly and turned toward Nick, rushing for him and throwing myself
into his arms. He seemed surprised at first, but welcomed my affection as I
leapt up and wrapped my arms around his neck. He must have picked up on the
tension in the room, because he looked at all the wide eyes behind me, and then
at me, his own lopsided grin forming. His earlier concern seemed to have disappeared
for the time being.