With Me (28 page)

“Mommy you look funny when daddy carries you,” Josephina says, making me stop in my tracks in the middle of the room.

Letting out a groan, Kasey buries her face into the crook of my neck, her body slumping onto mine. Unwrapping her legs from my waist, she lets them drop to the floor, forcing me to put her down. I keep my arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against my body, using it to shield my erection from Josephina as we both face her.

“Daddy was just playing with me, sweetheart. You know how he plays with you?” Kasey tells Josephina as we watch her make her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Leaning down to whisper into Kasey’s ear. “Do you think if we ask nicely, she’ll let us keep playing?” I ask, nibbling at her neck, placing a kiss right below her ear.

I feel her body tremble, but just as quickly she smacks my arm, trying to pull herself away. I keep her in place, rubbing my erection against her ass to prove my point of how badly I want to play. She groans, which means I’ve convinced her as I continue trailing kisses down her throat.

“Joseph, we really need to stop,” she demands, as if she’s upset about something.

Hearing the anger in her voice makes me turn Kasey to face me. “Kasey, is something wrong?”

She doesn’t answer, but shoves me away, walking straight for the bathroom without a backwards glance, to check on Josephina. I’m left there dazed and confused over the situation. What the hell did I do?

Within seconds I see Josephina exit the bathroom, but the door closes with Kasey still in it. “Daddy, can we make pancakes again?” Josephina eagerly asks, before I hear the water to the shower turn on.

“Of course, princess,” I tell her, still staring at the closed bathroom door.

Still wondering what has upset Kasey, I push the thought aside as I walk over to Josephina to scoop her up into my arms and I carry her away. Her tiny body doesn’t feel like Kasey’s, but having her in my arms makes me just as happy.

STANDING UNDER THE warm water as it runs down my body, I allow the heat from the stream take the built up tension in my body. My mind keeps returning to what happened with Joseph in the room. It’s been happening more often than I wish, but my appetite to have him again keeps taking over. I really need to stop letting my body betray me by giving in so easily to Joseph.

No matter how many times I kept repeating to Joseph what we were doing was wrong, he simply wouldn’t listen, ignoring my plea for us to stop. We weren’t technically in a relationship, which is the reason why it’s wrong. But I really had no one to blame but myself. No matter how upset I was about the situation, my body would make me cave into my desire and have sex with him. Although it felt amazing each time it happened, I was always left with the shame, and guilt, soon after. Joseph relentlessly claimed he was going to prove his words to me, but wasn’t putting much effort in at all, since the day he said those words. Unless you called consistently wanting sex from me an effort. I promised myself I would give him the week to prove his words to be true, if he didn’t, then I was leaving.

During the day he would spend time with Josephina and I, taking us somewhere new to discover. However, come night when Josephina was finally asleep, the only thought on his mind was sex and my traitorous body always gave in to his demand. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself I wasn’t going to have sex with him again, we still did.

My time to leave was soon approaching. I hadn’t told Joseph of my decision, allowing him the time he needed without having to put any pressure on him, but his time was now up. The week was over and I was scheduled to leave. I was afraid of having to break both their hearts when I tell them my decision. I’ve seen how attached Joseph and Josephina have become to each other. That alone was making having to leave so much harder, but I’d already purchased the tickets back to Madison, and I was leaving regardless of what he said.

Turning off the shower, I dry myself and quickly get dressed, making my way into the kitchen. I see Joseph already placing breakfast on the table as I take a seat.

“Daddy, can we go to the zoo again?” Josephina asks around a mouthful of pancakes.

Joseph finishes chewing the piece of bacon in his mouth before he says, “We just went the day before yesterday, princess. We can go next week.”

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach as I hear his answer, bracing myself to speak. “Actually, we won’t be here next week,” I tell him, staring down at my plate as I shove my food around with my fork.

“What do you mean you won’t be here next week?”

When I look up at him, he’s staring back at me with narrowed eyes. I’ve never seen that look on his face before. I know he must be mad, but he doesn’t scare me.

Being that I still haven’t answered him, he asks again, “Kasey, what do you mean you won’t be here?”

“Josephina and I are leaving tomorrow,” I state.

“Why?” They both ask at the same time. Josephina’s question sounding more of a whine compared to Joseph’s angry growl between his clenched teeth.

“Joseph, I need to get back to Madison. I have a business to run,” I reply. “I had a client call me at the beginning of the week needing more products and I wasn’t there to give it to her. It’s money I’m losing if I can’t provide her with more to sell,” I declare, watching as his lips go flat, but I continue on. “This business is what provides my income. I won’t get an income if I’m not there to run my business,” I stress to him, refusing to feel intimidated. “We leave tomorrow morning at eight a.m., so we have to be at the airport by six-thirty,” I inform him.

“No,” he clips out.

His answer doesn’t surprise me. I was actually expecting it. “Regardless of what you say, Joseph, Josephina and I
are
leaving tomorrow.”

“Kasey, I already told you I would provide for you and Josephina. So you really don’t need to work. I don’t understand why you can’t get that through your head?” he scowls.

“Joseph, I refuse to let you
provide
for us. I’ve been doing fine on my own since before Josephina was born and I’m pretty sure I will continue to do so without
your
help. I don’t have a reason to stay, Joseph. My business,
my home
, is back in Madison. That’s where Josephina and I belong.” It pains me to say the words, but I need Joseph to understand my reasons.

“So you plan on keeping me from seeing her? Because that’s exactly what you’d be doing if you left, Kasey,” he throws back at me.

His words hit me like a ton of bricks, making me feel guilty about my decision. “Joseph, how can you say that? You knew we would have to go back. I still don’t understand why you didn’t purchase round trip tickets for Josephina and I.”

“I didn’t purchase them for a reason, Kasey.”

“We’ve already gone through the separation once when you came back after your first vacation. I’m pretty sure we’ll learn to live with the distance between us again,” I tell him, already feeling the pain it will cause. “Please, don’t make this anymore difficult than it already has to be,” I say, the words coming out more of a whisper, stinging as I say them.

“Mommy, can we please stay a little longer? Please…” Josephina whines, but I simply shake my head to answer as I brush a loose strand away from her face. “No, sweetheart. I’ve already bought the tickets. They were very expensive and I can’t change the flights. We have to leave tomorrow,” I say to her.

She bows her head as she lets out a sniffle.

My eyes find Joseph’s and the disappointment on his face crushes me. “You can always come see her anytime you want, Joseph, or maybe we can work something out so that she can come visit you,” I convey before narrowing my eyes back at him. “I’d never keep her from seeing you, Joseph. So don’t
ever
accuse me of it again,” the anger radiates off of me as I state the words.

Continuing to sit across from me with his body rigid, his eyes turn dark with anger as he stays silent. Eventually he stands up to walk away, making his way towards the bedroom; leaving Josephina and I alone at the table.

Taking in a deep breath, I sit there, wondering if I’m making a mistake.

THE DRIVE TO the airport is made in utter silence. You can feel the tension between us. I hated waking up this morning knowing they were leaving today. I didn’t want it to happen. I wanted them to stay, but no matter how many times I asked Kasey… begged her… she wouldn’t change her mind.

I was so angry by her decision to leave, but regardless of how mad I am, I knew I had to keep my anger under control, for both of them.

After parking my truck and pulling Josephina out, we make our way to the terminal as I dread every footstep along the way. I had wanted more time with both of them, so I delayed waking them this morning, wanting to keep them next to me longer than I should have. Of course, it now meant Kasey and Josephina only had time for a quick goodbye before she had to make her way through security. Kasey had printed her tickets online last night, so she didn’t have to check in at the counter this morning, which meant I was now going to have to say goodbye the minute we walked into the airport.

Kneeling down to come eye level with Josephina, I already see the tears in her eyes, making me reach up to wipe them away as they fall. “We aren’t saying goodbye forever, princess. I’ll see you soon,” I tell her, pulling her into my arms to hold her.

“I’m going to find a way so we can all be together again, okay,” I whisper to her as I kiss her soft head.

She hugs me tight, her tiny body shaking as she asks, “You promise?”

“I promise,” I tell her, knowing I will, somehow, someway.

I can hear her sniffle into my ear as I hug her body tighter in my arms; taking advantage of the last couple of seconds I have with her. I finally let her go, turning to face Kasey who is silently crying, the tears are streaming down her face.

Standing up, I tug her body towards mine, taking her face in my palms. “You don’t have to leave, Kasey. You can still change your mind and stay,” I beg her, the words barely making it around the lump in my throat.