With Me (31 page)

“Is that really why you left?”

She stays silent, but I can see the hurt in her eyes; the guilt in the pit of my stomach growing with each passing second.

“Kasey, when you left, it tore me apart. I haven’t been the same since. Letting you leave was the biggest mistake I ever made.”

“It hurt me too, Joseph, but I couldn’t stay here any longer feeling the way I did. I couldn’t take it anymore,” she says, her voice cracking with every word.

“How is it you really felt, Kasey?”

“I’ve already told you. I felt as if I was a replacement for your fiancée and
I hated it
.”

Her declaration is a reminder of the night I realized how she truly felt. I’d finally understood all the times she was constantly trying to push me away, when I managed to get her close enough, as if she was protecting her heart from me. It was my fault for never telling her I loved her from the beginning.

Shaking my head at her, I reach for her face. Cradling her in my hands. “Kasey, I never saw you as a replacement, ever. Since the night I left for boot camp, you’re all I’ve ever thought about.
She was your replacement,
one that could never live up to you. When I found you again, I realized that. I never
really
loved her. Not the way I’ve loved you. There will never be anyone else I could possibly love more than you,” I confess.

“Not even Josephina?” she questions with a smile, making me laugh, knowing she’s trying to tease me.

Bringing my head down, resting my forehead against hers, I answer. “I love my daughter with all my heart, but my love for her will
never
compare to the love I have for you. I love both of you more than life itself, but you, Kasey Wilson, own my heart.”

She starts to cry, her lips trembling as she smiles. “Oh Joseph. I love you too. I loved you even though I got on that plane and left.”

Realizing if we both hadn’t been so stubborn that day and really told each other how we felt, she would’ve stayed. Seeing her crying hurts, it makes me want to take her pain away. Leaning down I pull her head up to kiss her, needing to show her how much I love her. I can taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips, as I demand she give me more. It isn’t long before we’re both naked and in bed making love. Our bodies demanding to give each other what we’ve both been missing for the last month. Over and over again I tell her I love her, staring down into her eyes as she repeats it back to me.

Before long we’re both laying next to each other in bed, sated and panting for breath as I hold her body, refusing to let her go yet. As I rub her back I remember her words before she demanded we speak. “Kasey, what did you mean by being here for good?” I hesitantly ask, my heart already racing with excitement as I wait for her answer.

She nods her head against my chest, muffling her response so I don’t understand it. I can already feel her body beginning to relax against mine. I know she’s most likely falling asleep, but I want more details. “Kasey, not that I’m complaining you’re here, but what is going to happen to your business?” I skeptically ask her, hoping she’s found a solution besides giving it up.

As much as I wanted her to stop working, I’ve finally come to the realization of how happy her business makes her, and I want her to be happy here with me.

When she doesn’t answer, I know she’s falling asleep already, her body exhausted from both the travel and our lovemaking. Giving her a little shake, I hear a rumble from her throat, causing me to laugh as I shake her again, only to amuse me. She sits up, glaring straight at me. I sit up with her, pulling her to lean onto my chest, so I can hold her.

She makes herself comfortable and she quietly starts to speak. “I’ll figure something out, Joseph. I
have
to keep running my business now that Ashley has set up my website,” she tells me before she continues, “I packed up all my supplies and left all my unsold inventory until I can figure out what to do.”

She continues to explain. “I left everything needed to makes my soaps, and any leftover inventory, with Mark and Ashley. I’ve been working non-stop for the last week to surpass what I would normally make in a month. When I told them my decision to move out here, they came up with the idea. They agreed to help fill my orders until I can find a shop out here to start up again. I’m praying it doesn’t take me more than a week to find a place, though. I left them with a lot, but at the rate I’m receiving orders, I don’t think they’ll have enough to last long.”

Remembering where I was before Kasey called, I jump up from the bed scrambling to look for our clothes. “I actually have the perfect place for your shop.” I say, already getting dressed.

She looks at me confused, but I insist that she quickly get dressed. The excitement on my face spurs her along as she gets up off the bed without hesitation. Within minutes we’re heading back out into the living room to see a sleepy eyed Josephina rubbing her eyes.

“Hey princess, remember that surprise I kept telling you about?” I ask her, earning me an excited nod of her head with a smile. “Well, how about I go show it to you and mommy? How does that sound?” I ask her, making her eyes light up.

Scooping her up, I look over to Kasey as I grab for my keys. I don’t give her a chance to say anything further as I inform her to grab Josephina’s booster seat. The both of them are demanding I tell them what my surprise is, but my only response is to shake my head and start toward my truck, forcing Kasey to follow. I simply tell them they will have to wait to find out. Fifteen minutes later, I’m pulling into the driveway I just left not long ago, unable to keep from smiling as I see Kasey’s confused expression when she takes in the house.

Entering the house, I send Josephina off to explore as I look over at Kasey, seeing her eyes grow wide in amazement, unable to resist admiring her expression.

“Joseph, whose house is this?” she asks.

“Ours.”

“What do you mean,
ours?
” she asks, her eyes wide, most likely disbelieving my answer. I take her into my arms to kiss her below the ear, feeling her shiver against me.

“I actually got the keys right before you called. It’s our home, Kasey,” I whisper into her ear as her jaw drops.

“I don’t understand. Are you renting it? How did you even know we were coming? she asks. “Mark and Ashley promised they wouldn’t tell you.”

Unable to resist laughing at her eyes narrowed at me, I answer her, “No. I was already in the process of buying it when you came to visit the first time.”

Her eyes grow excited, but just as quickly, her lips go into a frown as her shoulders slump forward. I already know what she’s thinking.

“I’m not going to deny it, Kasey. Yes, it
was
supposed to be the house I was going to move into with Elizabeth after the wedding,” I truthfully tell her. “However, even after I ended things with her, I continued with the sale because I still wanted you and Josephina to live here in the house with me, but I didn’t get the keys until today. It’s why I never said anything. I didn’t want to upset you if I fell through on the house. I believe it was you who was the one meant to live here with me the entire time, not her,” I tell her, making sure I clarify my words.

“Now I’m glad I never backed out on buying the house. I had a feeling I was going to need this over here and I was right,” I tell her, already pulling her over to the door leading to the large open workshop. When I open the door, I reached over to turn on the light, allowing her to see the huge open space. Her jaw drops once more. “You see? It’s like it was meant to be. You can continue your business here, Kasey. It’s double the size of the old one you had, so you’ll be able to comfortably make as much soap as you want.”

I watch her slowly walk into the empty space, her eyes wide in awe as she spins around to take in every wall surrounding us. Walking over to her side, I force her to face me. “If you still don’t feel comfortable living here because of the reason why I originally bought it, then we don’t have to. I don’t want you ever thinking you’re a replacement. All I want is to live with you. No matter where that is.”

She takes in the room one more time, before looking back at me. Her eyes are filled with tears before she answers, “It’s perfect, Joseph. Thank you,” making my heart swell up. She reaches up to wrap her arms around my neck, pulling me down to kiss her. Our kiss leaves me both breathless and satisfied that she loves the house. Wrapping my arms around her waist to pick her up off the ground, I spin her around in the room, happier than I’ve ever been.

KASEY WALKS OUT of her studio as I walk in the front door after work, stifling a yawn behind the back of her hand. Making sure the door is properly shut, she walks over in my direction with a smile. She’s gotten really good about cutting back her hours spent in there at my request; she’d be in there 24/7 if I let her because she loves her new studio. It didn’t take long to convert it, but I did recruit a bunch of Marines to help me. We had it done in two weekends. There’s a lot those guys will do if you offer them free food and beer as payment. We designed it with everything she needed and painted it in every color she wanted, making it her new peaceful escape.

Throwing my keys and hat on the counter, our eyes meet, and I return her smile. It’s been six months since she moved to San Diego and I don’t think I will ever get tired of the idea of coming home to her. Especially when I know I’m coming home to both my girls. It’s truly the best feeling in the world.

Kasey eyes are lit up with a radiating glow I love coming home to. Casually, she walks to me, patting her bare feet against the hardwood floor. She reaches up on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck to pull me down to her, demanding a kiss I’m always willing to give. Her soft lips linger on mine while I savor them, loving how her lips tastes like her favorite chap stick.

“Hmmm, I missed you today,” she mumbles into my mouth.

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I draw her up against my body, walking her towards the living room. As her arms tighten around my neck, she leaves her feet dangling off the floor, making me carry her limp body the entire way. It’s something she’s already used to me doing. I do it pretty much every time I get home.

In the corner of my eye, I see Josephina doing something on her iPad while sitting on the couch, her little legs curled under her body as she smiles up at us. When I reach the couch I place Kasey on the floor, pulling her to sit on my lap.

She automatically curls her body into me, wrapping her arms around my neck as her face finds the crook. She starts nuzzling her nose into my neck, making me chuckle, as I feel the warmth of her breath as she inhales my scent, making me smile. She does this often and although I smell sweaty from work, she swears she could never get enough of my scent. I blame it on the soap she makes for me. She claims it’s her weakness.

Holding her tight against my body, she relaxes as I rub her back and look over at Josephina. “Hey princess, how was school today?”

She looks up at me with a smile as she excitedly informs me, “I got two gold stars today for my excellent work, daddy.”

“Oh really? That’s great, princess.”

“Mommy took me to get some frozen yogurt right after school to celebrate, but we had to bring it home cause mommy said she really wanted some pickles instead,” she says, scrunching her nose, my expression matching hers.

Why the hell would Kasey want pickles? She hates pickles…

Pulling my head back to ask her, I feel her body is motionless and I’m pretty sure from the way she’s softly breathing into my neck she’s asleep. Since I can’t see her face from the way she’s sitting, I ask Josephina, “Princess, did mommy fall asleep again?”

She cranes her neck to the side go get a better view before nods her head, letting out a giggle. “Yes. She’s been doing that a lot lately, daddy,” she claims, followed by an actual laugh.

Now that I think about it, she’s right, there’s been a couple of times I’ve managed to come home for lunch to find her asleep on my old couch. It’s the same couch I had in my apartment. She insisted we put in her studio, needing somewhere to take a nap in there. I wasn’t going to argue with her, especially with all the fond memories I have of it. I wanted to keep the couch.