Who We Were (12 page)

Eighteen

I ran all the way out to where my car was and looked for Nolan, hoping he was still out here. But I didn’t see him or his car. I couldn’t drive; I was way too buzzed. I pulled off my shoes and stood in the lot, flustered. I had to get to him, but how?

“Where the hell are you going?” Kyleigh asked trying to catch her breath.

“I gotta get to him,” I blurted.

“Okay, well you’re gonna need a ride, so chill out a sec,” Cara said coming up behind Kyleigh. She pulled the keys from my hand and got in the car.

I turned to Kyleigh and hugged her neck. “Thank you. I love you,” I told her. She laughed and said, “Love you too. Weirdo.”

I got in the car, and Cara pulled out of the sand, the car fishtailed a bit. I looked out of the window and saw Kyleigh waving. She signed something that I didn’t recognize. I wished she had taught me to sign so I’d understand. But when we hit the street, she texted me.

Kyleigh: see you soon

We would see each other soon. I would make sure of that. No matter what I had to do, these friends would stay with me, and I would not let them go.

“Where does this kid live?” Cara asked.

I hadn’t even thought about that. I only knew where the cottage was. I had to take a chance that he’d be there, so I told her the directions.

We got up the steep hill toward his place when I told her to let me out and wait. I didn’t want to pull up with my big sister in the car.

“I’ll be right here,” she said reassuringly. “Just don’t mess this up, okay?”

I nodded and got out. The rocky road felt like hell on my feet. I knew the cottage was just up around the bend, but walking it seemed like it was taking forever. That was okay. It gave me time to think about what I was going to tell him.

Finally the cottage came into view, and I saw lights on. I silently cheered and sped up my pace. Nolan’s car was in the drive, and I could hear music coming from the glass room upstairs. He was here for sure. I reached the door and rang the bell. No one came. I rang it again. Still no answer. I walked off the porch and looked up at his room. He couldn’t hear me.

I searched the ground for a rock then decided against it. I would break something for sure. So I decided to wait. He would walk out here at some point or a song would end. Either way I would wait until I saw his face. I wouldn’t text him because that wasn’t how I wanted to do this. I wanted to do it face to face.

I sat out there for a while, still no Nolan. My phone rang, and I answered.

“Hello?”

“Sadie?” I didn’t recognize the voice at all.

“Yes. Who’s this?” I pulled the phone back to look at the number, I didn’t know it.

“This is Mrs. Bentley. You’re English teacher.”

The worst thoughts floated through my head. Did I not pass the test? Would I have to end up taking the course over?

“Hi, Mrs. Bentley,” I said nervously.

“I’m sorry to be calling so late, but I figured you’d be up still, right?” She didn’t wait for my answer. “I found your final essay and your work during the session to be outstanding. I’d like to have you attend the class I teach at the college this year.”

Wow!
Totally not what I expected.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I spoke with your counselor, Mrs. Anders, and she told me you’re good on credits. So you’ll only need a half-day session for your senior year. The spot in my class is yours for the taking.”

“Thank you. Um, what’s the class?”

She laughed. “Yeah, I guess I should have filled you in on that. It’s a writing course.” She went on to describe the class in full and what is expected of me as a student. “I want to see what you’ve got. I don’t want you to be scared, but I want you to write like you did over the last four weeks. Can you do that?”

I smiled and said, “Yes. I think I can.”

“Good! Now, I did invite another one of the students from the class, and he’s said yes as well.”

I wondered who it was. I didn’t want to ask and be rude. But I didn’t have to, “You know Nolan Rylan, right?”

My heart beat faster. “Yes.”

“Aren’t you two dating?” she asked. I laughed. Apparently Nolan and I put off those vibes because now she saw that we were
something
. “Not yet,” was all I said. She said some more about sending out forms to me with all of my information, and then she added, “See you in a few weeks, Sadie.”

“Bye. Thank you again, Mrs. Bentley.” I pressed end and looked back up to Nolan’s window. The music was still blaring, and he hadn’t come out on the balcony.

“So, you got in too?”

I turned ar
ound and Nolan was standing behind me. His hands were in his pockets, and he was shirtless―his body was amazing. Muscular in the best way possible and all I could think was
, This was what was hiding under those nice dress clothes?
I absentmindedly followed his abs down to the perfect V-shape that came to rest at his pant line. I looked up and felt myself blush. I was totally checking him out. Nolan was so damn hot.

I adverted my eyes to his messy hair
that I realized needed a cut, and then to his tired eyes. He probably just woke up.

“How long have you been standing there?” I inquired.

“Not long. I heard talking, and I came around to see who it was.”

“You heard me? Over that noise?” I asked pointing to his room. He laughed and with his toe kicked a pebble across the ground.

“I wasn’t up there. I fell asleep on the porch swing out back. I left the music on. Sometimes I like to look at the stars outside and listen to a little music,” he explained. “So are you going to be in the class?”

I nodded. “Yeah. It sounds good.”

I was nervous. My hands were sweaty, and I noticed he wasn’t making eye contact with me.

“Why
are
you here?”

My mouth grew very dry all of a sudden. Now that I was on the spot and had to confess with why I was actually standing on his property, I grew scared again.

“I … uh … I,” I stammered.
Get your shit together, Sadie.

I stood taller and walked a bit closer to him. He looked up and met my eyes, now.

“I came here to tell you that I’m sorry about earlier,” I began. “I got scared, not because I didn’t know how I felt about you, because I do know. I know that you’ve been there for me at all of the times when I needed someone. Yeah, at first we were friends and I liked your brother.” He shot me a quick painful look, and I realized I was losing him. “I was wrong about, Nash!” I blurted. I had to make my point here soon or I would end up losing him again.

I took a deep breathe. “Nolan, at first I didn’t see you like that. I was caught up in all the stuff I swore I would never get into. I was no better than the
status monsters
at my school.” He looked confused, but I went on. “I was only into Nash because I’ve never had any guy at my school even look my way. He talked to me, and I was flattered. But I saw him for what he was and I felt uneasy about him almost right away.”

“If you felt that way then why did you go to Clear with him that night? Why did you run away and get all upset when you found out about Amelie?” He had a point, but I had an explanation.

“I went because I felt like I had to go, to give him a chance. I still didn’t know if I felt
weird
about him or if it was me not actually liking him. I know now. Even if Amelie wasn’t in that truck, I know that nothing would have ever happened between us.” I thought back on that night and how I felt when I was with Nash, why I took off, and who was there to help me. “I ran off because I was embarrassed. Any girl with any sense would have done the same thing. I didn’t want to stay and hang out with him and Amelie.”

He still didn’t say anything, but he didn’t leave me standing there.

“Nolan,” I whispered getting closer to him. “I think I’m in love with you. And I’m sort of freaking out because I’ve never felt this way in my entire life. When you didn’t come to class, I was worried about you. I was scared when you told me about last year. I was afraid I would lose you. I don’t want you going anywhere that I can’t go.” He looked up and met my eyes for the first time. “I really liked your kiss at the lake. I wanted to keep going, and that’s why I came here tonight. I don’t want to miss out on kisses like that ever again.”

“You don’t?”

I shook my head and bit my lip. “I want you to do it again.” He placed his fingers on my hips and pulled me close to him. I felt his breath on my forehead, making my scalp tingle. With his right hand he ran it over my hair. “Sadie, I would like nothing more than to give you what you want.” And he pressed his lips into mine. I fell into him and kept falling, falling, falling, until he pulled away from me and I was breathless.

“Come here, I want to show you something.” He grabbed me by the hand and out to his backyard. It was dark but I could see a pool in the center, and it was a very bright blue.

“Look up,” he ordered. I did. “We’ll go as slow as you want to go, Sadie.” He placed his hand in mine.

The stars were so pretty up here in the mountains. I looked at Nolan, and I couldn’t believe that I had
almost been so foolish and lost him forever. I couldn’t imagine not being with him in this way. We could not be friends; we were meant for more.

Without thinking I was pulling off my dress and Nolan’s eyes grew bigger. “What are you doing, crazy girl? I thought we were going slow.”

“Going for a dip.” I was in my bra and panties as I backed from him and turned toward the steps. I could feel his eyes on my body, and I didn’t care. I felt so comfortable with him. I stepped into the pool, and the warm water felt perfect against my skin. “Are you coming in?”

“You bet your cute little ass I am.” He pulled off his shorts and jumped into the water splashing me.

I swam over to him as he rose up out of the water. His lips found mine as water dripped down our faces. We floated like that for what seemed like forever until I remembered Cara sitting down the road waiting for me.

“Oh crap, I left my sister out on the road.” Nolan just laughed at me and shook his head.

“I’ll get you a towel and walk you back,” he said as he got out. I didn’t want to leave; I wanted to stay here all night, sleep in his bed, and wake up to his face next to mine.

“Wait,” I told him. “I’ll just text her and tell her to go home.” I was hoping he would get the hint.

I got out, and he handed me a towel and my phone. Instead of texting her, I called.

“Hey,” she answered. “So, you either calling because he dumped you or you made up.”

“It went well.” Now I just sounded lame. “It was way more than that. I’m just …”

“You’re just so in love that you can’t describe the totally amazing feeling. I get it, Sadie. Trust me. You want me to come get you?” She laughed casually, meanwhile I was nervous.

I swallowed, afraid to tell her I wanted to stay here. “Um, I was thinking that …”

Her loud laugh cut me off. “You’re a hot mess, Sadie. You want to stay there, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

I didn’t want her to think that I would do anything I regretted. I didn’t want to disappoint my big sister who had taught me so much. But after the night I’d had, I didn’t want to spend it without Nolan’s arms around me.

“Listen, little sister, I know you’re smart. I know you’re into him, and he’s digging you. I can tell, just be careful. Okay?”

“I will. What will you tell mom?”

“I’ll tell her you stayed the night at Kyleigh’s. Is that okay?”

I smiled. “Perfect. See you tomorrow.” I hung up and faced Nolan. “Can I stay here, tonight?”

His face froze in shock. “You mean, like in my bed?” He ran his fingers through his wet hair.

“Is that all right?”

Boy, I had done a total one-eighty. I had gone from not knowing how I felt, to wanting to be with him all night. What could I say? I was crazy about him. It took almost losing him for me to see that, but it was better than never seeing it at all and losing him.

He smiled and grabbed my hand. “Of course it is. I just don’t want to move too fast.”

“I don’t either. I just want to sleep,” I explained. “I don’t want to do anything we’re not ready for.”

He bent down and kissed me softly. “We’ll go at whatever pace you want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

We walked into the house and the cold air made me shiver. When we reached his room, he turned on the shower for me and handed me a t-shirt. I took it and thanked him. I closed the door behind me and waited for the water to heat up. Once it did, I stepped in the shower and noticed the showerhead was like rainwater falling from the ceiling.

“Spoiled,” I muttered.

The water felt fabulous. I was so happy that I lost my buzz. I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I liked being sober and feeling things the real way. It felt better to be experiencing things like Nolan’s kiss while clear-headed. I could say that I remembered everything about it.