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Authors: Lindsey Iler

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Chapter Thirty-Seven

 

-Kennedy-

 

I feel all of their eyes burning holes into the back of my
head. Choosing to ignore them is easy when Graham skims my bottom lip with his
tongue with featherlike accuracy. When his lips meet mine nothing else matters.
My mind is cloudy and slightly at a loss for any fluid thought. I know once our
mouths come up for air that we’ll be met with questions and criticism. I’m
oddly at ease with my new found place in this school. 

I’m always going to be the girl who worries about what
others think of me. That’s why I excel in school. I have a fear of disappointing
my parents and teachers. Working my butt off is worth the reward even if it
halted any sort of social life I could have. Letting others down makes me break
out in hives. Being held to the ridiculous standards of what others think is
best for Graham is going to be difficult. They worship him.

Until Graham came along, I cared about everyone’s perception
of me. I stuck to what I knew. He’s opened my eyes to a whole different world,
a world that I want to scavenge and explore until I see every last square inch
that there is to see. He’s somehow ignited my life with a flame. Everything I
thought I knew, or believed purely seems obsolete.

I slowly release my lips from his leaving my arms wrapped
around his waist with our lips nearly centimeters apart. “You know they’re all
watching right?” I say with slight embarrassment.

“It doesn’t matter, Kennedy,” Graham talks into my hair
before giving me one last kiss on the forehead. We both turn to go in our own
direction when I feel a smack across my butt. I yelp in surprise turning to see
Graham grinning from ear to ear backing down the hallway with his hands up in
surrender. “I’ll see you at lunch, Ken.”

The first two blocks of school is spent answering questions.
It was more like dodging them. Some of the questions are understandable, some
of the questions are simple, but most of them sounded more like statements
instead of actual questions. I hear everything from “What’s going on with you
and Graham?” to “Why’d Graham punch Craig?”---My favorite being “Graham doesn’t
have girlfriends”. A constant reminder of that fun fact is annoying. At one
point my teachers have to tell everyone to leave me alone. I understand why
everyone has this curiosity. Graham is their alpha male, their king. I’m nobody
to them.

No one is deserving of the answers to those questions and I
don’t give them the satisfaction of answering. Besides it’s no one’s business
what’s going on between Graham and I. Except maybe one person and by the look
on her face she isn’t happy with me.

Violet face is contorting between rage and confusion as she
makes her way down the hallway practically knocking over an entire group of
freshman boys who don’t get out of her death path quick enough. I just walked
out of my second block when she’s making her way towards me. I clinch my books
tight to my chest as if they can protect me from her wrath. I try to smile at
her but it feels uncomfortable. I know I’m in trouble.

“You and me need to have a serious chat,” Violet points over
another group of freshman who’s separating us. Her face is beat red with anger.
I know I owe her a rather good explanation. A lot happened over the span of two
days. Clearly the rumor mill isn’t going to disappoint.

“Before you yell at me…” I give her a knowing look. I know
what’s going to come out of her mouth next.

“Oh you bet your ass I’m going to yell at you. What the fuck
is going on with you two? Because I’ve heard several different versions of what
I’d like to assume are lies, but please confirm a few things for me.”

“What all have you heard anyways?” I ask coyly.

“Are you and Graham together?” Violet has always been known
for getting to the point.

“Yes, next question.” I smirk at her. Her mouth drops open
in surprise.

“Did Graham punch Craig this morning because he called you a
slut, whore, or trash? I’ve heard all three versions, sweetie.”

“That happened...yes. I’m pretty sure he called me a slut
though.” Violet’s eyes are full of sympathy.

“You’re not a slut. What a fucking asshole,” Violet shouts
making the group of boys she nearly took out minutes before stare in her
direction. “Why did Craig choose today to be such a colossal dickhead? He
pissed that you moved on from him before it even got started?”

I took a deep breath trying to control my emotions. Violet’s
my best friend and she has no idea what happened Friday night when she was busy
hooking up with Dan in the boat house. I wasn’t her responsibility, but I know
her well enough to know she will feel at fault somehow. I know I won’t be able
to lie to her about what happened.

“Violet, you have to promise not to say anything. I mean,
literally no one can know,” my eyes glare into hers to make sure she
understands what I’m asking from her. She nods in response clearly afraid of
what I have to tell her. “Friday night something happened. Graham hooked up
with Amanda before the baseball game. I was mad. I decided to play a little
game with him to try to get under his skin. It was stupid.”

“Okay, so what exactly happened? What does this have to do
with Craig?” Violet urges me to continue obviously confused. Her eyebrows are
furrowed together waiting for me to say something. She guides me over to a bank
of empty lockers. We lean against them just looking at each other.

“After arguing with Graham at the party I thought he had
left, but he hadn’t. He stuck around to make sure that I was okay. I was drunk.
Craig had been super pushy and at some point we went up to his bedroom. At
first it was all fine. We were kissing, but then something switched. There was
this look in his eyes, Vi. He was persistent when he refused to listen to me
saying no,” I explained refusing to look at her now. I feel embarrassed and
recalling what happened only makes me want to run away from all of this.

“Son of a bitch,” Violet screams when she realizes what I’m
saying. “I’m going to fucking kill him. I should have been there. I should have
seen you go up there. I should have been there to stop him.” I grab Violet’s
hand to stop her. As she turns around to face me I can see the gloss over her
eyes.

“This isn’t your fault and Graham got to me before it was
too late,” I whisper. A set of hands curve around my waist making me jump. 

“What did I do?” Graham’s voice sings in my ear.

Violet watches him as he stands behind me with his chin
resting on the top of my head. I can tell she’s retelling herself the story in
her head by the way her eyes go hard. She’s ready to kill someone and Craig’s
on her radar. That’s why she’s my best friend. She has a big heart, and a big
mouth to back her up to whoever displeases her.

“Thank you,” she whispers rubbing the corner of her eyes as
she looks to Graham.

“What’s she thanking me for?” Graham’s eyes bounce between
Violet and I skeptically.

“For beating the shit out of that fucking ass hat,” Violet
smiles at the two of us standing together.

“You told her what happened?” Graham whispers into my neck.

“Of course she told me. I’m her best friend and she’s lucky
that I love her enough to respect her wishes of not saying anything. There’s
nothing I’d rather do more than stomp his face into the floor of the cafeteria
right now.” 

“I’d love to see that,” Graham grins down at me. He plants a
kiss on my cheek just as Violet makes a gagging noise in mock of us.

“Okay lovebirds, come on. Amanda’s going to have a field day
with this and I want front row seats to her losing her shit.” Violet saunters
in front of us until we hit to the lunchroom. She halts in her tracks at the
entrance. Graham and I are too busy teasing each other that we nearly collide
into her as she stands peering blankly into the crowd that’s keeping their eyes
on Graham and me.

Graham ducks around both of our bodies walking into the
large room as if everyone doesn’t have their eyes trained on me and him. They
aren’t being sneaky. They are the on purpose type of stares. The kind that
makes you feel like everything is going in slow motion. Violet luckily is just
a casualty of our presence. She continues to stand by my side anyways. The girl
has never cared that I didn’t fit the mold of her “clique”. She constantly
makes fun of me for how unsocial I am, how I spend way too much time reading,
and how oblivious I am to my own “sex appeal”, but she always has my back no
matter what.

I ignore the urge to run into his arms as he turns around to
face me. He has a look in his eyes that says he’s capable of conquering the
world. That’s what makes him so damn charming.

I don’t think anyone has seen Graham like I have. Most girls
spend every waking hour in attempt to be a notch on his bed post where I will
spend the rest of my life admiring the guy that he is. He’s strong, stronger
than anyone knows. He lets me in when he won’t let anyone else.

“You coming or what?” Graham’s grin is hypnotizing.

I stand with my feet cemented to the same spot day dreaming.
I barely hear the whispers around me. Violet jabs me in my ribcage.

“Go give them hell, best friend,” she nods towards Graham
who has his hand extended out to me.

Every person in the room takes a deep breath holding it in
waiting to see what I’m going to do. To see what my response would be to
Graham’s public declaration of our relationship. I can’t move just yet. I feel
the sides of my mouth turn up in a small grin. He winks in encouragement.
That’s all it takes to make the gap between the two of us nonexistent. I reach
Graham’s side and he tangles our hands together. In reassurance he gives my
hand a light squeeze before releasing the hold and pressing his hand to the
small of my back. There’s a release of breath from every one of our classmates
as we come together. Graham doesn’t seem to notice or perhaps he’s keeping on a
game face for me. Either way it doesn’t matter.

Graham grabs different things from the lunch line refusing
to release his hand from my back making it seem nearly impossible to carry
water, two chicken sandwiches, and an order of fries but somehow he manages. I
offer to help carry something, but he ignores me only to flash his go-to grin.
He has to know how that affects me by how often he flashes it in my direction.
No wonder girls are throwing themselves at him all the time. I now see how they
get caught in his trap. He’s mesmerizing. It’s sort of annoying how he can
jumble up your head to the point where you can barely see straight.

Graham scans the lunch room that’s now filled. Everyone’s
still focused on us as he escorts me to his usual table that’s filled with most
of the baseball team, a few girls, and luckily Violet who’s giving me a
sympathetic smile. Craig looks up at us with a sneer on his lips. I notice that
there’s only one seat open beside Dan. It feels like they are trying to prove a
point to Graham. I don’t belong here no matter whose hand I’m holding. They all
tolerated my presence when I was accompanied by Craig. They weren’t going to be
as forgiving with Graham.

“Graham…” I whisper up at him just loud enough for him to
hear but for everyone to be oblivious. “You should sit with your friends. I can
go sit at another table.” Graham looks down at me as if I just told him I’m
planning on drowning a litter of kittens. “What? Don’t act surprised that this
is happening.”

I can feel her before I see her coming up behind me. It’s in
the way she walks with a purpose and I assume her purpose today is to make a
fool out of me. All eyes are trained behind me as I stand there helpless.

“Looks like there’s nowhere for you to sit, Kennedy. Serves
you right for thinking you fit in with people like Graham,” Amanda says as if
she believes every word. Her voice is full of venom. She glided by me sitting
down on Craig’s lap. She gives me the dirtiest of looks. I’m not use to having
that type of animosity thrown at me. I avoid looking back at her.

I stand there silently scanning my eyes over the small crowd
that overheard Amanda’s open ended threat. Violet looks as if she’s going to
scratch Amanda’s eyes out. Her protectiveness is appreciated. Dan yanks on
Violet’s arm to force her to sit back down. Others snicker under their breath.
This is something that I will have to deal with on my own. I just don’t know
how. Graham kisses me directly on my lips quick turning his attention on his friends.
His hands slam down onto the table. The sound echoes throughout the cafeteria
startling everyone.

“You see that girl over there,” Graham points back towards
me. “She’s not going anywhere, so I suggest that you all get used to seeing her
around.”

Glancing over towards Graham I see him standing defensively
declaring our truth. These are the people who look at him with admiration and
awe. He’s telling the people who’ve been in his life for much longer than I
have that he’s putting it all on the line for me. Watching him leaves me with a
sense of fear. I could love Graham until the day I die. I’m sure in my heart
there will always be a place taken up by him. In the back of my mind there’s
this fear that he might not love me for as long.

That’s what everyone fears, right?

…Not being loved enough to be held onto…

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Eight

 

-Graham-

 

My blood is boiling.

Oh, I’m fucking irate.

These people are supposed to be my fucking friends. Some of
them since elementary school, so why is it that I feel like an outsider now
that Kennedy is on my side? I kiss Kennedy quickly. As soon as our lips touch I
feel the familiar heat that runs down every limb leaving me wanting more.
There’s something I need to do and it needs to be done quick. Like ripping off
a band aide or setting a bone.

I drop the food on the table slamming my hands down
startling the ones closest to me. I look up and down the table trying to decide
what I need to say. They all wait with eagerness in their eyes. 

“You see that girl over there,” I turn to face Kennedy who’s
standing a few steps away looking as if she could build up the courage she
would run away. I smile at her to try to encourage her strength. I know she has
it deep down in that tiny body of hers somewhere hiding just dying to break
out. “That girl isn’t going anywhere, so I suggest that you all get used to
seeing her around.”

“Graham!” Amanda tries to protest. “What exactly are you
saying?” She sends a glare straight to Kennedy then turns on me. Her voice is
full of venom just waiting to bite down into Kennedy.

“What I’m saying is that Kennedy is going to be around as
long as she is willing to put up with my bullshit, so I suggest everyone treats
her with respect and nothing else. If you can’t do that then we’re going to have
a problem,” I threaten everyone who I have ever considered a friend taking
extra time to glare down at Craig and Amanda.

I turned to see Kennedy’s stunned expression. She shrugs her
shoulder in acceptance to my admission. I reach out grabbing her hand and turn
to face the group again. “You all probably know who she is, but if you don’t
this is Kennedy Conrad,
my girlfriend
.”

Amanda’s jaw drops to the floor along with a several others.
The expression on Kennedy’s best friend, Violet’s face is the most comforting.
A smile covers her porcelain face and for a split second I think she’s going to
break out into a slow clap. Luckily, she doesn’t. Instead she stands to sit on
Dan’s lap. Everyone moves down to make room for the two of us together.

“I don’t know if she’ll put up with your shit for too long,
but there’s always a seat open for her,” Violet laughs at her own joke winking
at the two of us. I put my arm around Kennedy’s waist dragging her ass to where
her best friend is sitting. Kennedy settles in next to me and I continue to
hold her hand under the table running circles around her thumb.

Everyone stays quiet. There are a few whispers here and
there, but they’re all wrapped up in their own conversations to pay much
attention to us anymore, at least most of them. I look down the table to see
Amanda’s seductive eyes cast over me almost threatening. Craig’s anger is
piercingly eerie as he glares down to our end of the table. I throw up my
middle finger at him pleased to see the punch that I landed this morning is
going to serve as a reminder to him until it heals.

“That was quite the show, dude,” Dan raises an eyebrow at me
then looks over at Kennedy who’s concentrating way too hard on the table in
front of her. She’s out of place with no help from Amanda. I refuse to let her
continue to feel like that for too long. I meant what I said by wherever I’m at
she will be.

“It was incredibly romantic,” Violet kicks Kennedy under the
table to grab her attention. “Snap out of it. This boy just declared that you
are his girlfriend to anyone who was listening and he doesn’t do
girlfriends
.”
Violet points at me smirking.

“Thanks for that Violet,” I stifle my own laughter.

“She has a point, Bro. You’re more of the in and out, snag
em’ and bag em’ type of guy. Something tells me that either she has a rocking
ass body under those clothes or she managed to get under your skin and doesn’t
care about how big of an ass you are,” Dan says wiggling his eyebrows at the
two of us. Violet slaps him across the back of the head. If she wasn’t going to
do it then I sure as hell was.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Dan,” I throw a French fry at
him landing it square between his eyes.

“Anyways…” Violet exaggerated the word making it sound like
five syllables instead of three. “What’s the plan for this weekend? Obviously
we are not going to Craig’s.” My eyes are practically screaming ‘Shut the hell
up’ but it’s too late.

“We have a game Friday which means that there will be a
party afterwards. We don’t ever miss them,” Dan glares daggers at Violet who’s
clearly not looking to back down from this fight.

“We aren’t going this weekend, Dan. End of story, so you can
either make plans with the three of us or you can go to that party and jerk
yourself off,” Violet’s voice rises enough for Dan to know she means business,
but not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

“I swear to God woman, you’re a pain in my ass. Since you
asked so fucking nicely I suppose that there is no other choice. What are we
doing then?” Dan looks across the table at me for answers.

“Don’t look at me. As you all have kindly reminded me today,
I don’t do girlfriends so I don’t know the first thing about planning a date,”
I explain taking a bite out of my chicken sandwich.

“You guys haven’t gone on a date, but somehow you’ve managed
to make Kennedy your girlfriend. Niiiice,” Dan jokes like the idiot he is.

“You two seriously haven’t been on a single date? What the
hell have you guys been doing?” Violet questions the both of us. Kennedy
glances up at me through her eyelashes and smiles.

“We’ve made it work,” Kennedy tells her best friend. She has
the most adorable innocent smile, but I know better. I bend down kissing her on
the cheek.

The rest of lunch is spent making plans for the weekend. We
all go with the safe choice for our double date. Dinner and maybe watching a
movie back at Violet’s house. It will be Kennedy and mine’s first real date.
Hell, it will be my first date ever.

I spend the last fifteen minutes staying quiet. I watch
Kennedy as she laughs at every outlandish word that comes out of Violet’s
mouth. How they managed to become friends in the first place is beyond me.
Violet’s…well she’s Violet. Her reputation speaks for itself. She’s this
obnoxious firecracker. Violet believes that biting her tongue is against her
religion. Kennedy’s kind hearted, forgiving and can’t hurt a fly especially
with her words, except for me. I’m not the rule. I’m the exception. I’m her
exception.

Everyone is scattering up from the lunch tables around us,
but I don’t move. I hold onto Kennedy’s hand in a way that conveys exactly what
I need from her. Violet waits a few paces for Kennedy to fall in line with her,
but she doesn’t move staying close to my side. Violet gets the hint smiling
down at us before catching up with Dan to jump on his back demanding a piggy
back ride. Kennedy and I laugh at her antics.

“What’s on your mind, Black?” Kennedy asks as she turns her
blue eyes on me.

“Just want to make sure you’re okay after this morning with
Craig then after that shit Amanda pulled,” I watch her closely to see if her
expression changes. It doesn’t waver for a second.

“Well boyfriend,” she says the word as if it’s a love song.
“I am fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m stronger than I appear.”

“I know you are. I just…its hard watching people treat you
like that in front of me. I meant what I said earlier, Kennedy. I’ll be here
with you as long as you’ll have me.”

Kennedy places a hand on the side of my face. “What if
that’s tomorrow or maybe next month?” Her face is full of seriousness.

“If that’s what you wanted then I’d let you have it. Not
saying it wouldn’t hurt like hell. My reputation with girls isn’t the greatest,
but there’s one promise that I can make you. It’s all I have to give that even
can remotely mean anything. You are different.” Kennedy leans in kissing me
gently. The unpredictable sparks shoot through my veins. Her body’s resting
against mine as we deepen the kiss. It’s a strange feeling to know what her
naked body feels up against mine, but still the simplest of touch can still
bring me to my knees just as easily.

“Has anyone ever told you how adorably sweet you are?”
Kennedy tilts her head to the side. My eyebrow quirks up with the word sweet.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever accused me of being sweet,” I
say. Kennedy and I are swimming in unchartered territory.

Kennedy isn’t flying under the radar like she believed she
was all this time. She sticks to herself. It’s well known that she doesn’t have
boyfriends, or fool around with anyone on the weekends like the vast majority
of us. She’s straight laced and I’m…well I’m just not.

Of course all the other girls I have hooked up with in the
past I felt an attraction too, but it was never like it is with Kennedy. I’m
far too in tuned to every move she makes and aware of the simplest things about
her that’s enough to throw me into a feeding frenzy. It isn’t possible to get
enough of her. Where she is concerned I’ll always want more. Even hearing her
voice causes my breath to deepen in want. With Kennedy I’m in trouble. She will
be the one who gives me a run for my money.

“I’m putting a lot of trust in you, you know? This morning I
thought that all of the crap that’s been thrown at us was the universes way of
trying to halt whatever this is, but when I walked out and saw you leaning
against your car I remembered what my mom said. It all came flooding back to me
forcing me to admit that what I thought was bullshit. You can’t look at someone
the way you do me and not mean what you say,” Kennedy explains.

“What did your mom say to you?” I ask curiously.

“That you look at me as if your world starts and ends with
me…” The thought trails off leaving me feeling sort of in shock. I didn’t know
I was being that obvious of my feelings for her.

“She’s right, you know?” I spin my leg over the side of the
bench hugging Kennedy closer to my body.

“I know that now and I trust you when you say it,” her voice
is low as she leans her head against my chest. Kennedy’s clearly thinking about
something. “We should probably get to Government class. I’m sure we’re already
late.”

Kennedy gets up from the table and I quickly jump up to grab
her crutches for her. She smiles in appreciation. As always I fight the urge of
throwing her down on the cafeteria floor to have my way with her.

As if she can read my mind, she looks at me sideways
grinning. “I know that look on your face. Come on. Let’s get to class before
you follow through on those dirty thoughts you’re having.”

Like I said…Kennedy’s going to give me a run for my money.

 

 

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