When Our Worlds Collide (11 page)

“It is not my fault. I wasn’t holding your hand up those
stairs. That was all you and all that sexual tension trying to rip its way out
of you at any cost. How is it possible that you’re still holding tight to your
virginity? Are we still waiting for someone special?”

I looked over the rim of my glass before taking a big gulp
avoiding her question. “I have a question though.” I took a deep breath before
asking. I didn’t want to throw a red flag up too quickly. “Was I talking to
Graham last night?” I have a feeling that something happened last night, but
putting my finger on it seemed to be the problem. A big cloud of fog is
blocking a lot of the night from breaking through.

“Yes, you guys looked like you were arguing about something.
He didn’t seem very happy. In fact he looked pretty freaking pissed all night.
What was that all about anyways? I meant to ask you last night, but got a
little…busy,” Violet asks. I didn’t know how to answer her.

“I was upset with him earlier this week about an assignment
in Government class, so I’m sure it was about that,” I lie refusing to look at
her. Violet always can tell when I am lying. Thankfully she leaves it at that.
The hangover must be slowing down her perception.

The rest of my Sunday went by in a hung over haze. Violet
and I spent most of the day watching old movies and eating anything we could
get our hands on. This was her normal hangover cure. Something she has claimed
to perfect. Her mom and dad had passed by her room a few times simply waving
and exchanging minor pleasantries. Neither of them seemed to notice or care
where we had been last night. If we were at my house, it would have been a
different story. I wasn’t sure if this was a blessing or a curse.

By the time I got home it was already after seven. I greeted
my parents and went straight into my room to work on homework. At some point in
the night I must have fallen asleep. My textbooks were still sprawled out
around me. When I woke it was still dark out. I grabbed for my phone to check
the time and saw that it was already three in the morning. The red light was
blinking indicating I had a missed text message from a number I didn’t
recognize.

It’s Craig. Hope u dont mind Violet gave me ur
number
.
Of course she did
. I continued to read the text
. I ran into her earlier
she said that she couldn’t pick u up in the morning. I’m gonna swing by and get
u before school.
Of course she can’t.
Hope its okay with you
.
No it’s not.

I wonder if I could skip school tomorrow.

Chapter Eighteen

-Graham-

 Okay, I’ll admit it. Kennedy has managed to crawl to the
deepest depths of my skin. The way she talks to me surprises the hell out of
me. Ever since the accident she has been considerate and forgiving in spite of
everything working against me. She lied for me. There was no other way to twist
it. Kennedy had lied to everyone and I spent most of my time working the
reasons over in my head instead of trying to earn that loyalty. Nothing fit
together. It’s an imperfect puzzle that’s missing a few too many pieces causing
the big picture to come through distorted.

I also know that while I am busy trying to convince myself
that a friendship with Kennedy is so damn important for reasons I still can’t
understand I have pushed her directly into the sticky arms of Craig. I saw the
way they were acting with each other on Saturday. She went upstairs with him
and I let her go. There was nothing written across her forehead that declared
her mine to possess. I’m having a jealous reaction and I’m not sure I like it.
I’m not even sure if I want there to be anything to be jealous about.

I had dropped Amanda off Sunday morning after she spent the
night with me. Luckily my father was out of town and Mom was too oblivious to
notice me sneaking her out early in the morning. I had dragged her out of
Craig’s in a rush and she obliged by following me with a grin the size of mars
plastered on her face. With Amanda things are easy. She knows what I like and
what I don’t. She also understands that nothing is going to evolve from our
“relationship” no matter how badly she may want it to. She isn’t into asking
too many questions, she doesn’t expect much from me and doesn’t have too high
of expectations of the type of guy she thinks I am.

Amanda asked for me to pick her up before school on Monday
before jumping out of my car Sunday. I make up an excuse why I can’t in a way
to push her away trying to put some distance between us until I can figure some
things out.

I pull in the parking lot nearly five minutes before the
first bell rang Monday morning. My heart begins to race uncontrollably. Why am
I nervous? This is
my
school, where everyone adores me (except maybe one
person) and I’m acting like I’m the new kid. I’ve got to pull my shit together.
Fuck.

Craig’s truck passenger door swings open and pair of
familiar toned legs appears. Kennedy turns to look at Craig who’s teasing her
with the pair of crutches that are in the cab of the truck. She throws her head
back in a fit of laughter. Although I’m not by her side to hear it I remember
what it sounds like. Jealousy roars its ugly head again and I find myself
wishing I am the one who drove her to school.
What the fuck has gotten into
me? I don’t act like this about girls. I hook up with them and that’s it. That
is all.

Saturday was the first time I had ever heard Kennedy
actually laugh. Her laughter had the ability to stop people in their tracks.
It’s something to admire. I don’t want to admit it, but she’s something to
admire. Maybe there
is
a reason why I’m feeling jealous.

Craig makes his way over to my car that’s only a few down
from his. “You split out early on Saturday,” he yells. It’s more of a question
than a simple fact. I turn my attention towards Kennedy for a fleeting moment
before answering. Her expressions impassive, her eyes quickly focus on
something else. Anything else, but me.

“I was just tired,” I lie which I seem to be doing a lot of
lately. Lying to myself, lying to my friends, and I sure as hell have been
lying to Kennedy. I grab my backpack and swing it over my shoulder.

“Sure you were,” Craig enunciates every word. “Someone said
you bailed out with Amanda hot on your heels.” This catches Kennedy’s attention.
She whips her head up to look right in my eyes. Her expressions full of
disappointment.
Well, that’s intriguing.
It’s more than that though. I
refuse to drop my eyes from her and we end up being in our own staring contest
as we stand in the parking lot.

“Hey Babe,” Amanda sneaks up behind me and loops an arm
around my waist causing me to look away from Kennedy. I instantly regret it
when I go to look her way again and her eyes are diverted. She quickly grabs
her crutches and starts heading into school.

“Hey,” I force a smile at Amanda starting my walk towards
the school subconsciously trying to get closer to Kennedy. Well, maybe not
subconsciously. It was on purpose. See, I’m lying to myself.

“You have baseball practice tonight, but want to do something
afterwards?”

We catch up with Craig who’s taking his time walking beside
Kennedy who is still having a hell of a time with getting a hang of her
crutches. “I was just talking to Kennedy about grabbing a pizza after practice.
You guys should go with us,” Craig blurts out.

Before I could object Amanda shrieks. “Count us in.” Amanda
kisses me directly on my lips, which is a first for us at school. We usually
leave our escapades for after school and the weekends even though everyone knew
we had been hooking up for months. Her act of PDA surprises me in the most
annoying way possible. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

That’s what I had to look forward to tonight now. Kennedy
didn’t look too thrilled about the idea either by the way she rolled her eyes
when Amanda agreed to make it a double date. Wait, was it a double date? That
would imply that Kennedy and Craig were…I let the thought fade out of my head
before I thought too much into it. Jealousy wasn’t a trait I wanted to bare,
but when it came to Kennedy I didn’t think I had much of a choice in the
matter. It was becoming inevitable.

My first few classes and lunch flew by. Luckily, Kennedy
opted not to sit at our table with Craig. In fact I didn’t even see her in the
cafeteria which I am relieved about. She and I still haven’t talked about what
happened on Saturday and not knowing what to say to her made it all that more
complicated.

Government is starting to be my favorite class. Not only do
I actually enjoy what we are learning because I actually am paying attention,
but I get to see Kennedy. She hadn’t talked to me all last week. I was fine
with that. She didn’t believe that I was capable of being a friend. I started
to sit next to her again. There was a sick happiness that crept in when she glared
over at me in the seat next to her.

“Are you going to sit next to me until I say something to
you?” Kennedy looks straight ahead pretending to be interested in what Mr.
Stevenson has written on the board before class had even started.

“It worked, didn’t it?” I joke and almost see a hint of a
smile on her face. She’s fighting against herself to stop it from crossing her
face.

“I’m not talking to you, Graham. I’m talking at you. There’s
a rather big difference.”

“I’ll take what I can get with you.”

“And why’s that?”

“I already told you. I’d like us to be friends,” I explain.
She isn’t buying my shit. Neither am I deep down. I’ve never seen someone’s
eyes roll that far. God, she’s truly adorable when she’s mad.

Kennedy turns her entire body to look at me. She’s staring
as if she looks long enough what she saw would suddenly change. She lets out a
sigh. “I’m calling bullshit, Graham. You don’t want to be my friend.” This
irritates me. Kennedy doesn’t know anything about me. Even if she is right,
Kennedy is making an assumption about something she doesn’t know anything
about. What’s with the cursing too? Maybe it was me that brought it out of her.
I’d like to think that I have that much of an affect over her.

“Tell me what I want since you know me so damn well then.
Please Kennedy…I’m dying to hear this.” I turn my body to face the front of the
classroom and we leave it at that.

What did she mean I didn’t want to be her friend? I’ll admit
it, I wasn’t exactly banging down her door to be her friend before the accident
and I suppose that night forced me to extend my hand to her. That wasn’t the
only reason why. To her it must have all seemed like a pity friendship. That
would explain a whole hell of a lot at this point.

Chapter Nineteen

-Kennedy-

Talking with Graham in class is brutal. Our encounter isn’t
going to spoil my night. I decide to give Craig a chance. He seems nice enough.
I stupidly agree to let Amanda pick me up before dinner since Graham and Craig
will need to shower after practice. Craig doesn’t give me much an option
anyways. He mentions it in passing to Amanda when I’m standing with him at his
locker after school.

Being alone with Amanda isn’t on the top of my to-do list.
She has extended the olive branch so what am I supposed to do? If Craig’s going
to insist on us hanging out then I guess I will have to make the best of it
which means getting along with his friends. It’s not that we are enemies or
anything, we just aren’t friends.

“So, you and Craig?” Amanda dives right in as I climb in her
car. She’s obviously digging for some sort of dirt. I have no intentions of
giving it to her. There’s not much to tell anyways.

“Nothing really to tell,” I throw a forced smile on my face
for good measure. Without seeing it, even I can tell I’m uncomfortable.

“Oh come on. Everyone saw you go up to his room on Saturday,
so there’s no point in lying about it.” Her voice is snarky and sounds
irritated with my short answers. I don’t appreciate what she’s insinuating. I
know that I shouldn’t have drank that night.

“Not lying. Nothing happened. I just slept up in his room.
Harmless,” I explain in my own defense.

“That’s a shame,” she grins at me.

The ride to the pizza place is sort of out of the way. The
awkward silence makes it drill on in slow motion. I don’t understand why we
aren’t just going to one closer to town. I don’t argue with her though. It
wouldn’t have done any good. The sky is clear and the temperature is just warm
enough to roll down the windows. Amanda has an eclectic variety of music which I
appreciate. She reminds me more of a pop mainstream hip hop type. Maybe I have
judged her too quickly. Radioactive by Imagine Dragon swings out of the
speakers pulsing through my veins. I stare over at Amanda as she drives.

“What?” She turns down the stereo.

“Imagine Dragons?” I questioned her choice of music.

“Yeah, what about them?”

“I thought you were more of a Nicki Minaj type is all,” I
explain trying not to make it sound like an insult even though I’m positive
that it’s just that.

“And I thought you were the good girl type, but here you are
grabbing pizza with the devil.” She raises one of her perfectly manicured
eyebrows at me. She is either trying to be intimidating or I don’t know what
her intentions are.

“I am the good girl type.” I defend myself again.

“And I like Nicki Minaj.” Amanda pulls into a hole in the
wall pizza place that’s off the beaten path. I notice Graham’s car and Craig’s
truck parked out front. She grabs the keys from the ignition and saunters
towards the door before I even get my crutches out of her back seat. This
should be interesting. If I wasn’t dependent on these crutches I’d walk home
from here and skip the whole night.

I maneuvered through the front door without tripping over my
own feet to find the three of them sitting at a booth in the far back corner
near one of the large windows. Craig stands up and grabs my crutches for me. I
slide across the vinyl bench and sit directly in front of Graham. He looks up
at me with the faintest of smiles in greeting. It’s barely there, but I know
what I see. It looks to me that it is more of a sympathetic one than an actual
greeting. Maybe he doesn’t want to be here just as badly as I do.

We order a few pizzas in between conversations about
baseball and other drama at school that I clearly am not in the know about.
Amanda does most of the talking. I’m grateful. I have no idea who or what the
three of them are talking about most of the time. Amanda makes sure to always
have her hands somewhere on Graham’s body. It’s irritating the way she finds
any reason to glide a finger over his bicep or playfully punch him in the arm
.
Did that really work with guys, the dumb playful act? I’m glaring, aren’t I?
Why do I even care? Anyone can touch him. It’s allowed. I’m sure he enjoys the
attention.

“Did you guys hear about Violet and Dan? Someone said they
saw him going into the boathouse wearing her dress,” Amanda laughs. My back
stiffens as she talks about Violet. I don’t like it when people talk about
people who aren’t present to defend themselves.

“It happened a few weekends back too,” Craig chimes in. It
seems distasteful to me how Craig participates in the gossip. I really don’t
like where this conversation is headed.

Graham must notice my reaction. He’s watching me from across
the booth as I avoid paying attention to what they are saying in front of me.
“Like you two haven’t ever done anything embarrassing like that? I recall a
time where you were stark naked in the back of  Timmy’s pick up after a rather
drunk night Amanda and Craig don’t get me started on your past indiscretions.”
Both of them send him a death glare telling him to shut up. Craig’s fists are
tensed up into hard balls in between mine and his thighs on the booth.

Where did that come from I wonder. Whatever it is I’m
appreciative. “Thank you,” I mouth to Graham while the other two busy
themselves grabbing slices of pizza off of the silver pedestal.

“You’re welcome,” Graham mouths winking at me. A light blush
creeps up my neck and over my cheeks. Why am I affected like this whenever he
does something like that?

The night continues as I suspected it would. Amanda drools
over everything Graham says. I avoid hands on Craig underneath the table. With
every brush of his fingers on my thighs I’m having trouble figuring out how I
feel about Craig. Craig is difficult. He has small moments where I understand
his appeal. He’s charming and flirtatious, but then there are other moments
that peak out to remind me of the type of guy he probably really is when he
isn’t lathering on the charm. I continue to have to shy away from his grasp
under the table from going farther north of my thigh than I am comfortable
with. Graham keeps a watchful eye on our side and at one point he seems to be
grinding his teeth. His jaw tenses as he watches me move away from Craig’s
lingering touch.

After we are done with eating our pizza we all walk out to
the parking lot. Well, I hobble more like it. Graham sticks back to see if I
need any help. I shake my head that I’m okay. It’s a sweet gesture though,
something Craig didn’t bother to do.

I can’t hold it back any longer and I yawn. “You ready to
call it a night?” Craig asks sounding disappointed.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I just have a lot of homework to work on. I
had fun though,” I lie. It seemed like the right thing to say. If I were to be
honest it wouldn’t have been pretty. Having Craig’s hands all over me tonight
made me uncomfortable. I guess after sleeping in a guy’s bed they expect a
forwardness from you. He has the wrong idea then because it isn’t ever going to
happen.

Graham butts in before Craig has a chance to say anything,
“Actually I was going to talk to you about that, Kennedy. I need help with our
assignment in Government and I am hoping you could help me with it tonight
since it’s due soon.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, but I go along
anyways.

“Sure,” I answer. I glanced back at Craig. “Is it okay if I
go with Graham that way you don’t have to drive me all the way home since he
lives pretty close anyways?” What am I doing? Why am I going along with
Graham’s charade? I look over at him as he fights back a laugh which means only
one thing. He got his way.
Dammit
.

“Are you sure?” Craig’s unsure of the situation. I don’t
blame him for that. It all seems out of sorts. There is no reason on this
planet why I should be riding back with Graham.

“Yeah, I’ll just see you tomorrow at school. Thanks for
tonight,” I answer leaning up on my toes to kiss Craig on the cheek quickly. I
turn to Graham to say his goodbyes before heading to the passenger side of his
car. Amanda openly glares at me as she gets into her car. I think she saw her
night ending differently. She’s not the only one.

Neither of us says anything as he turns the key to his
ignition and the car comes to life. Graham rolls down his window and leans over
to grab his iPod from his glove box. He’s close enough that I can smell his
cologne. He tosses the iPod onto my lap and instructs me to pick something.
There is something intimate about looking through his music. There’s a lot of
rock and hip hop. Most of it I know, but a few things are unrecognizable. I
continue to move down the list and came across Katy Perry.

“You a big Katy Perry fan, huh?” I peered at him through my
eyelashes doubting he actually listens to her music. She seems too poppy for
his style.

“I once knew this girl who danced to her song E.T and I was
an instant fan after that,” he flashes his signature smirk at me, the one I’m
sure gets him into the beds of half the girls at school.

“That was a big night for me, you know? I was scared to
death of dancing in front of everyone.”

“You seemed nervous, but confident. It’s hard to explain.”

“I saw you in the audience and you had this look of wonder
in your eyes. I don’t know. It’s stupid, but that’s when I decided to feel
different about you.” I blurt out without realizing what I am saying. I know
that I went too far and said too much. I have been trying to avoid being
Graham’s friend. Somehow whenever he’s around I forget everything else. I
should be irritated with him. Every time he flashes that smirk at me I became a
blubbering idiot.

“How did you feel about me before that?” Graham’s voice is
low with curiosity dripping from every word. He asks the question keeping his
eyes on the road clenching his grip on the steering wheel.

“Honestly, I thought you were a douche.” Graham laughs at my
admission. “I have heard rumors about you and I guess I believed most of them,
but there was always something in your eyes that was different. I can still see
it sometimes.” My voice is a near whisper. I smile just thinking about it. I
should feel total awkwardness admitting all of that. It never comes.

“You were right about that. There was something different,
but it wasn’t me,” he pauses before finishing his thought. “It was you.” I can
tell that he’s nervous as soon as the words leave his mouth. It’s the way he
sits up straighter, the way his voice changes just enough to be noticeable as
if he realizes he’s said the wrong thing.

I quickly change the subject. I don’t want to go down the
road we were heading with that conversation. “So, you don’t really have any
homework you need help with, do you?”

“No. I just needed an excuse to get you away from them,” he
answers honestly. It’s refreshing once again.

“Well you did, now what are you going to do with me?” The
words come out before I realize how they probably sound. Graham coughs
frantically and I nervously stare out the window.

Graham ponders over this one for a bit as he continues to
drive finally calming down from what I had said. He makes an effort not to peer
over at me as I sit nervously waiting for what’s going to happen next. When it
comes to Graham I always feel at ease even when I’m annoyed with him. He still
inflicts a colony of butterflies to flutter in my stomach. Most girls feel that
way around guys like him. There’s something about them that makes you drawn to
them like moths to a flame. It’s as if you know you are walking into immediate
danger, but you don’t mind. Guys like Graham allow you to not have a care in
the world.

“Umm…” Graham looks to me then to the road a few times. “Do
you need to be home at a certain time?”

“My parents are visiting my brother in California, so I
suppose I don’t really have a curfew,” I tell him knowing that I leave the
subject open ended again allowing him to interpret it however he wants.

“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” This is the question
that stumps me of all the questions he could have asked. It’s known that Graham
is a bit…slutty, for a lack of a better word. I don’t know what I want him to
say. Talking isn’t the suggestion I expect from him.

“I’d like that,” I answer with sincerity. There’s no way of
knowing how this will end though. It seems that all of our recent conversations
have left both of us more infuriated than the ones before. Graham seems to be
one of the few people who have managed to weasel under my skin and it seems
that I am capable of inflicting the same on him.