What I've Done (25 page)

Although I am surprised to find him here in my bedroom, it is comforting to have him beside me. I reach out to take his hand and squeeze it, wanting to show him how much I still love him, despite everything we have been through. He is soon giving me his brilliant smile.

My own smile greets him, although I’m sure it’s not quite as dazzling. “Hey.”

“You were having a nightmare,” he says.

I wipe the drowsiness from my face and push myself into a sitting position. “Tell me about it. I have a lot on my mind, I guess.”

“I’m worried about you.” He runs his fingers across the back of my hand lazily, his mind elsewhere. Without him having to say it, I know he has had visions of my future that are upsetting him – the worry is etched all over his face.

“Don’t,” I say, attempting to sound flippant.

His smile turns a bit more faded. “Can’t help it. It’s my nature to protect you.”

It almost physically hurts me to see him so upset. I want to kiss him and make him forget everything unpleasant we have been through together. If only we could go back to the day I met him in the alley-I would do things differently the second time around. I hate to see him hurting so badly because of me and all the bad choices I have made.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me unless I asked you to,” I tell him sullenly.

His eyes drop from mine to examine our intertwined hands. “Are you saying you want me to leave?”

I drop his hands and pull his head up so he will be forced to look at me. “I’ve had time to think about things and get my mind straight, Eli. I don’t want you to leave me. Not ever. But it seems like our future together is doomed, no matter what we decide.”

His hand brushes my hair to the side and he studies my face. His own face is filled with such a complex sadness—I wish I knew what he sees in my future that has him so horribly troubled, but as always, he wouldn’t tell me anyway. I can only hope that I will find the courage to make a decision that somehow works out for everyone in the end.

He reaches into his pocket and hands me a small velvet box in a rich shade of red.

“What’s this?” I ask. But my heart drops into my stomach like a ball of lead. I am pretty sure I already know what he is doing.

“I want to give you something meaningful to remember me by.” The sparkle in his eyes I have come to love so much seems less brilliant, although there is very little light casting into the room.

 “Nothing’s going to happen to either one of us,” I tell him with tears beginning to pool underneath my eyes.

His smile returns, although it is obviously quite forced. “Just in case.”

With an overwhelming sadness, I begin to open the box. I am not prepared for the totally stunning ring that I find inside. A slim silver band holds a small, round cluster of brilliantly colored stones that shine like diamonds. I don’t know much about jewelry in general, but it looks like it may be worth quite a bit of money and could easily be one of a kind. The guitar he gave me had belonged to my father, so a part of me wonders if this had maybe belonged to someone special in his life. The silver band looks to be worn thin in spots from use.

My heart soars with this generous gift, although I know it to be his way of saying goodbye.

“Oh, Eli…” I whisper. Happiness takes over and I can’t think of the words to describe how special his gift makes me feel—my entire body is overflowing with love.

He takes the ring from the box and gently slides it onto my ring finger. “I wanted to give you something as brilliant and strong as you are.”

“It’s beautiful,” I gasp, looking down on it. It fits perfectly on my finger and the stones look even larger against my slim hand.

Eli leans down to kiss my hand, then his eyes drift upward and lock on to mine. “Lily Rossow, you are the most beautiful, loving person that I have ever met. Never in all of my days on earth did I think I would meet someone that would make me feel the way you do. You don’t know how much it hurt to see you when you had given up on life and almost left me forever. I hope you now realize what a smart and wonderful person you are and that many people love you.”

Silent tears stream down my face. “I don’t deserve your kindness after everything I’ve done.”

He leans in to kiss my cheek, letting his lips linger on my skin. “All you are guilty of is caring for the people in your life. I can’t hold that against you.”

I pull him down with me onto the bed, intending to show him just how much love I feel for him. He wraps his arms around my body and nuzzles his smooth face into my neck. I feel more alive than ever with the arrival of goose bumps that spread all over me every time his warm breath meets my skin.

I know the feelings I have for him are that of being totally in love with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, just as easily as I know how to breathe.

“I love you,” I whisper, desperation striking me squarely in the chest.

“I love you,” he answers with matching fervor.

His eyes close and he brings his lips down to mine, his intentions starting as tentative at first but rapidly increasing into a passionate exchange that has us both pulling and tugging at each other’s hair and clothing. His hand slides down my thigh, pulling my leg up so it is wrapped around him. As his soft lips cause welcoming warmth to pass through me, my head swirls with an overwhelming trail of thoughts and emotions that come at me in such rapid speed it is difficult to process them all.

I want to feel every part of him and know this may be our only chance to be together as something monumental is about to happen between us that may never be repaired. He has either seen my thoughts before this moment or he feels the same way as he tenderly begins removing my pajamas, kissing each inch of skin as it becomes exposed.

* * *

We lay silently wrapped in each other’s arms until the sun is fully up. Words are no longer necessary to show each other how we feel. I decide his smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as he looks over at me and tenderly brushes my face with his fingers. I never knew happiness could be this intense and hope the feeling of it never fades away.

Eli sneaks out before anyone else is awake and promises to meet up with me later. I hum happily as I get ready for the day. Svetlana gives me a ride to work once she is up.

Kalia and I are the only ones at the shop today. By the strange looks she keeps giving me I can tell she is puzzled by my over-the-moon attitude.

“I can close the shop for you tonight,” I tell her.

She smirks, leaning back and resting her feet on the chair beside her. “That would be excellent. You suppose you could run to the bank and take inventory for me, too? Maybe even do my taxes and stuff?”

“Sure.” I nod enthusiastically, not totally listening to her but also willing to do whatever she wants anyway. I am dumfounded by the powerful love I am feeling for Eli.

She giggles and reaches out to slap my shoulder. “I was joking. Why are you in such a good mood? Are you meeting with Gabe later?”

The mention of Gabe’s name brings small ripples of fear to mind. I haven’t seen him since envisioning choking him to death. He has a way of bringing out a dark side of me I didn’t know existed and hope to never see again. I try to convince myself it is only his influence on me, but I know that to be an outright lie. The anger I have carried around ever since my father died had festered inside for so long it was bound to come out sooner or later. I had always just hoped it would be later, and wasn’t pleased when it reared its ugly head for Gabe.

“I just finally got a good night of sleep,” I tell Kalia.

My mind tries to go elsewhere but Kalia catches the glimmer of annoyance in my voice. She looks borderline ridiculous with her menacing look of crossed arms and stern face.

I try to emulate her serious expression. “What?”

She narrows her eyes, completely un-phased by my mocking gesture. “Your behavior has been all over the place the last couple of days. I just want to make sure you haven’t been making any hard and fast decisions. You have lots of time for that, Lily.”

My playful mood is dropped like a bad habit. “Not according to Eli and Gabe.”

“Are they pressuring you to make a decision?” she asks, her eyebrows scrunched together.

“It’s not that. Something is going to happen to Rose, and soon. Eli won’t tell me the details, of course, but Gabe assures me I don’t have much time before it will happen.”

Kalia snorts incredulously. “You don’t think Gabe has anything to gain by having you believe that?”

“I don’t think he’s making it up, Kalia. At some point my mom’s drug dealer from Minnesota is going to find us. He will try to kill Rose. Gabe has been showing me ways I can maybe protect us from him.” I try to mask the displeasure of the whole experience as best as I can, but I am not able to talk any more about it.

The morning has a slight chill in the air, which seems appropriate with the threat of impending doom that is yet to come. I look past the shop’s entrance to see the ocean faithfully lapping onto the shore, a soothing noise I have come to depend on as part of my daily routine.

Kalia reaches out to hold me by my arms with her expression grave. “Lily, you need to listen carefully to me. Just because I am friends with Gabe doesn’t mean I agree with what he is or what he stands for. I don’t know that I would choose to be an angel of darkness, if it were a choice I had to make.”

I roll my eyes to the sky and moan. “Why are you telling me this now? You were all for me being with Gabe up until this very second. You said the angel of darkness wasn’t an evil thing and that I shouldn’t be afraid of him.”

She sighs and spins away from me. “I was once in love and I know how it feels, Lily. You may be mad at Eli for telling you half-truths or purposely keeping things from you, but he only does it because he cares. I have seen the light in your eyes when you talk about him. I think what you have with Gabe may be nothing more than his influences on you, and it scares me to think you may throw away your only chance at true love for something you don’t believe in your heart.”

These were things I had been telling myself all along, but they sound different coming from someone else. Kalia’s shoulders shutter slightly before I realize she is crying. I step forward, using great care when placing my hand on the small of her back.

“I’m sorry, Kalia. It doesn’t seem fair that you gave up everything to lose the person you wanted to spend forever with.”

She inhales deeply before turning to me, her eyes blazing with warning and desperation. “No one knows how long they will live on this earth. You have to live every moment to its fullest and not make any mistakes that you can’t take back. The only comfort you can take is that you will see each other again one day, even if nothing will ever be the same. But if you choose to do something irrational—something that will jeopardize your chance at being with Eli ever again, you will spend a lifetime regretting it.”

The hurt behind her words is unmistakable—Kalia is holding on to regret over something she had done. But since she told me the human she fell for died in a surfing accident, I can’t imagine what else she could mean. I decide it is none of my business and she would tell me if she wanted me to know.

Instead I throw my arms around her tiny waist and squeeze before letting go. “I promise to follow my heart if you will promise me something in return.”

Her lips return to a pleased but tear-streaked smile. “You name it.”

“Help Svetlana take care of Rose. If for any reason…just promise me you’ll make sure she is taken care of, for me.” The words “if I die” are impossible to say out loud, but from the panged look she gives me I know she gets my intension.

Her gaze is steady and filled with promise. “I will.”

* * *

As amazing as I feel when the day continues on, it is almost possible to forget there is a man planning to kill my little sister. The shop seems unusually busy, which thankfully keeps my mind from rehashing the tender moments Eli and I had shared just hours ago. My mind can get lost all too easily when absorbed on him.

At lunchtime the air is a bit warmer, but a cool breeze still passes by occasionally, causing little bouts of chills to race through me. The sun is hiding behind the clouds with no promise of showing itself anytime soon and I can’t help but wonder if it is a sign of things to come.

After grabbing a taco from the stand across the street, I suddenly know what it is I have to do. The idea comes to me from nowhere and I grow suspicious of how it even came to be.

My feet are almost unwilling to carry me to the public bathrooms where the money had been hidden so long ago. The key has been placed faithfully in my pocket every morning and I remove it now to stare down at the piece of metal before placing it in the locker. As I reach in to grab the bag of stolen money I am hit with a wave of regret so strong that I almost crumple to the floor.

Trembling, I throw the bag of money over my shoulder and drudge my way back to the shop. A mere second passes after I return before I can feel something changing around me. The air has turned stale and even seems to be menacing. Kalia is handing a customer his change at the counter and nothing seems out of place. Yet somehow I know this is it, the moment Gabe had warned me about.

CHAPTER 12

I feel oddly prepared when I turn back to the entrance of the shop and see Johnny slither in, just as Gabe had told me he would. Johnny isn’t looking any better than when I saw him last. It almost looks as if he is wearing the same clothing as the last time. There is an overall disheveled look about him now, making him appear to have completely lost his mind in his quest to get to me.

His eyes dart to the bag in my hands and he smirks, his crooked teeth flashing from underneath his thin, dry lips. “Little Lilly. I knew you had my money.”

I throw the bag of cash down between us, my expression hard. My new abilities are raging through me and I feel unusually strong. “I didn’t touch it. It’s all still there.”