What I've Done (20 page)

Eli chuckles this time but suppresses his smile when my anger remains un-phased. “I wish it were that simple. You could live another seventy years yet, Lily. With free will you could change your mind at any time. Nothing is set in stone.”

With my frustration at its highest, I groan. “I can assure you I will not be choosing to be evil any time in the next seventy years. Is there something especially dark lurking inside of me that you have special knowledge of?”

“There are things that will happen in your lifetime that you have no control over, and you may choose the darkness for other reasons.” Something is amiss in his voice and I know there is more he is deliberately hiding from me. I place my hand on his jaw line and stare into his eyes.

“What else aren’t you telling me?”

He looks away. “Like I said, I can’t tell you everything or it would be influencing you.”

Whatever he isn’t telling me is monumental, and he has no plans on sharing it with me.

* * *

When I report to work early in the afternoon I realize another question I have for Eli is whether or not he knows Kalia and if she is in on the angel secret, too. She seems to know Gabe very well and there is something deeper between the two of them that I still can’t put my finger on. I consider the fact that she is also an angel of darkness like Gabe and try to keep my distance from her without looking too suspicious.

Luckily the surf shop is very busy with tourists and locals alike so we don’t have much down time. I have more conversations and interactions with my coworkers Kevin and his girlfriend Traci—who sports a short pink mohawk as well as many piercings-than I do with Kalia.

I come home to play a game of Monopoly with Svetlana and Rose. My little sister has never seen the board game before but does quite well for her first time. After we’re done we make a trip to the market where Svetlana has us pick out fresh fish for what turns out to be a very delicious supper.

The court hearing we will attend in less than twenty-four hours has been weighing heavily on my mind and I had asked Eli earlier if he would bring his soothing capabilities over to see me. He texts me after supper to let me know he will come when everyone else is asleep.

There are a million questions that have formed in my mind since finding out about Gabe and the whole angel thing in general. I hope that Eli will be willing to give me some of the answers without thinking he is influencing my free will.

Rose is finally sleeping and Svetlana is reading a book in bed when I slip into the round hot tub by myself. The steam feels wonderful on my face and I can almost fall asleep from the warm bubbles erupting against my skin. I am nearly unconscious when my name is called.

When I open my eyes I spring to the other side of the tub in shock—Gabe is all at once standing beside me. “Gabe! You scared the crap out of me!”

His dark eyes don’t seem quite as threatening today as they were the last saw him. I don’t know if I should be frightened by him or not, now that I know all of his secrets. He does not give me his usual smile but picks up the towel I have lying on the ground and holds it out to me.

“Get out. We need to talk.”

I am surprised by his curtness—but remind myself he is an angel of darkness—and I take a minute to really look at him. He still looks as handsome as he had before in his trademark board shorts and a button down shirt with his hair in the usual messy style, but knowing he has been influencing me all along makes me uncomfortable.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says, thrusting the towel further at me.

He knows Eli has told me everything. I bring a shaking hand out to take the towel from him and wrap it around my body in haste. He places his hand on my arm and helps me step out of the hot tub. When I pull away from his touch in a jerking movement he sighs.

“Don’t be afraid of me, Lily. Elijah may have told you a lot of things, but he didn’t tell you everything. He wasn’t totally honest with you, either.”

Apparently his influence is much stronger than I had imagined. I feel drawn to him as if the past forty-eight hours hadn’t happened. The way I had been frightened of him begins to disappear, too. I tuck the loose end of the towel under my armpit and let my wet hair drip onto it.

“How do you know what he told me?” I ask.

“He’s not the only one that can see the future, Lily.” Gabe speaks with such tenderness—it is difficult to see him as the kind of evil creature Eli had described. But I am still not convinced he is anyone I can trust.

“Where have you been? Why have you been lying to me all this time? Why didn’t you just tell me earlier what you really were?”

“You don’t think that maybe would have freaked you out a little bit? You really wanted me to tell you up front that I’m an angel, and you could possibly be the key to the balance between good and evil?”

A frisson of fear races down my spine. “Okay, maybe if you had used those exact words.”

Being the key to the balance between good and evil is a bit too much to take. Eli hadn’t used quite the same language to describe where I fit into everything and I didn’t think at the time my decision had quite that much of an impact. I have gone from “daughter of a drug addict” to “homeless orphan” to “half angel” in the span of a few days. My connection to reality seems to be slipping further and further away with every new definition.

“So after what Elijah told you, do you now see me as some sort of evil monster?” He actually sounds offended by this.

I turn to him, suppressing a very long, drawn out sigh. It had been so easy to see him as such after everything Eli told me, but now that I look into his mesmerizing eyes I feel there is a part of him I really can trust.

“I don’t know what to think, Gabe.”

The gentleness reflecting in his eyes catches me off guard. “Have I ever tried to hurt you?”

 I shake my head with reluctance. No, he has never tried to hurt me – not that I know of at least. He has been nothing but kind since the first day we met. I wonder if Eli is lurking out there somewhere right now, watching me with Gabe. I search the backyard for any sign of him.

“Lily, I may have different interests from Elijah but that doesn’t mean my intentions aren’t good or honorable for what I believe in. You don’t know the whole story.”

I eye him skeptically. How could anything he wanted to do be considered “good or honorable?” But he seems anxious to tell me his side, so I decide now is a good time to get more answers from him.

“What did I do to make you so mad at me? I tried calling you but you wouldn’t talk to me.”

He lowers his head before snapping his dark eyes back to me. “I was angry that you wouldn’t tell me about meeting Elijah. I wanted a chance to explain my side before he unfairly influenced you.”

Being that he is an angel and everything, I wonder just how much of my conversations with Eli he has been privy to. “I didn’t think it was necessary for me to tell you that I had met some stranger in an alley. But that’s all over and done. Now you have my full attention, Gabe. What is it you want to tell me?”

It feels wrong to have to explain my actions to him and all at once I begin to feel uncomfortable.

“You need to know that my being an angel of darkness isn’t necessarily an evil thing, Lily. I can teach you how to use the abilities the angel part of you possesses and you wouldn’t have to be afraid of anyone hurting you. Not ever again.”

I dread the thought of having the capability of doing inhuman things somewhere inside that I know nothing about, although I would like to be able to defend myself and Rose. It had been a relief to learn I would not be growing a set of wings, but what exactly will I be able to do? What else are Eli and Gabe capable of that I don’t know about?

“What kind of abilities are you talking about?”

His eyes flicker with mischief. “I’m not sure how much you are able to do since you are half human, but I am guessing you will be able to move faster than any normal human.”

I shrug my shoulder at this. “Eli already told me about the running part.”

Gabe steps closer, causing a thrill to run through me from the close proximity of our bodies. “Angels don’t exactly run. We imagine ourselves getting to a place and we are able to do it without physically exerting ourselves. It’s more of a mind over matter type thing that just takes a little practice. It’s the same way we are able to enter the realm where all angels dwell.”

I hold my breath in anticipation. “So wait—are you saying…I mean is it possible for me to enter this realm?”

Would I be able to visit my parents? My father would certainly be there, but I don’t know about my mother, although I can hope that they are together again. All at once I remember what Eli said about having to be a pure angel to enter his world and my hopes dissolve. Gabe is watching me so intensely I am beginning to feel uncomfortable, even though he continues to warm me by his presence.

“No one knows for sure whether a half-angel can enter or not,” he tells me.

I narrow my eyes in suspicion. Why would Eli tell me I couldn’t if he didn’t actually know for certain?

As if reading my mind, Gabe says, “Eli doesn’t want you to think it is possible. He doesn’t think you will be able to handle your new abilities.”

I gasp in surprise. “Did you hear me say that to myself just now?”

“No,” he says, the darkness in his eyes stirring. “But I could tell you were surprised to learn all of this. There are very few half-humans like you that have lived long enough to learn to harness their abilities. Most of them never even learn about the angel inside of them.”

I shudder, wondering if my lifespan is about to shorten because of the whole angel thing. “What happened to them?”

Gabe’s grin and the sinister tone of his voice are anything but comforting. “It’s more of a natural selection thing.”

The way he tells me this is so eerie that I decide to leave the subject for another time, maybe to discuss with Eli. “You’ll teach me how to move quickly?” I ask. “Maybe if I learn how to do it I can try to enter this other world.”

The thought of possibly seeing my father again has my heart racing. I would do whatever it takes to have a chance to see him again. I have so much to say to him and so many questions to ask him. Maybe if I am able to meet with him I can convince him being with Eli is the best thing for me.

Gabe’s brilliant white smile flashes at me for the first time in weeks. “How soon do you want to start?”

* * *

I am forced to introduce Gabe to Svetlana. Svetlana is dressed in her robe and is totally taken by Gabe’s angel persuasion from the minute she meets him. She giggles at everything he has to say like a young school girl. She even uses flirtatious body language when speaking to him. I roll my eyes in annoyance every time her musical laughter escapes her lips. It is beyond sickening, but I have to remind myself that she can’t help it. Does he always influence people like that, or can he turn it on and off?

I also wonder if I have these same persuasive abilities and begin to think of all the ways I could use them.

“I wanted to ask your permission to take Tasha for a stroll on the beach,” Gabe says to Svetlana.

“Of course!” Svetlana says cheerfully. “You take my Tasha out and be nice, yes?”

“Yes,” I agree, pulling on Gabe’s arm. I want to hurry this along so I am back when Eli comes to visit.

Svetlana smiles goofily at both of us. “You take phone and call if you need me.”

I nod, pulling Gabe outside with me. We walk in the opposite direction of the beach and Gabe stops when we are in small alley in a swanky neighborhood similar to where Svetlana and Markus live. The sun is low in the evening sky and it casts a golden hue around Gabe that is almost comical; it makes him look as if he is glowing, just as I had always pictured angels doing.

A sparkling white luxury car of some kind is parked a throwing distance away behind a large, gated house. Gabe points to it. “Imagine standing next that car. You need to focus really hard. Think of the space between you and that car as being just a step away. The less you see space as an obstacle the more your mind can overtake matter. Visualize yourself moving faster than you have ever moved in your whole life. Just shut your eyes and block everything else out.”

He dips his head in encouragement with his arms crossed over his chest. I close my eyes and try to remember everything he told me, focusing on what I am trying to accomplish. It is hard to push away the excitement of wondering what I am capable of doing now and what this will mean. Maybe I can influence the Judge tomorrow to let Rose and me stay with our foster parents. Maybe I can even influence Johnny to jump off some bridge somewhere.

I keep my eyes closed until my mind is finally blank and think only of moving over to the car. When I open them again I squeal in surprise—I am only inches from the hood of the car. The feeling of being able to move so fast like that is amazing and I can’t wait to try it again.

Gabe has this total look of surprise on his face when I turn to him, but he then laughs and puts his arm around my shoulders. “This is only the beginning, Lily. Now that we know you are capable of this, there are so many other things I am guessing you will be able to learn how to do. Just think of what this could mean. You would be able to keep your little sister safe.”

An unexpected thrill fills me with his words. “Is this what it will always be like if I choose to be an angel of darkness, like you? You’ll teach me how to do things that Eli won’t?”

He smirks, his eyes watching my lips closely as he speaks.

“Is that all it would take to win you over? I just need to promise to show you how to do these things and you’ll be mine?”

For the first time the thought of choosing his side over Eli’s crosses my mind, and it frightens me. The way in which Gabe had said mine is terrifying in itself. There is something dark behind his words—something I know I never want to hear again. I recoil from his touch at first but he squeezes my arm and the doubts begin to disappear.

“Tell me something else Eli hasn’t,” I ask in my most sultry voice, pressing myself close to his firm body. I am almost consciously aware of the influence he has over me, but a voice in my head decides I don’t care. The real me who has fallen in love with Eli has been silenced.