Westward Moon (18 page)

Jack’s gaze roamed over her, taking in her swollen belly and slightly fuller face.  She was so beautiful and Jack wanted nothing more than to hold her.  He had tried to prepare himself for seeing her, but had grossly underestimated the effect it was going to have on him.

“Go away, Jack.  Please?  I can’t…I just can’t,” she said as tears welled in her dark eyes.

Jack wasn’t expecting her response and he certainly wasn’t expecting to see in her eyes what he thought he saw.  Her tears spilled over and she hurried inside her tipi and shut the flap.

Jack didn’t bother being polite and scratching to gain entry, he simply threw the flap aside and went in.

“Sparrow, tell me the truth.  I deserve it.  When did you know about the baby?” Jack demanded.

“Just go, Jack.  It doesn’t matter.  Nothing matters,” she said.  “I don’t…I don’t…”  She’d been about to say that she didn’t love him, but she couldn’t force the lie from her lips.

Jack gripped her arms tightly and said, “You don’t what, Sparrow?  You don’t want me the same way I still want you?  You don’t love me the same way I still love you?  You don’t think about me every minute of the damn day?  You don’t hurt every second?  You don’t sleep at night because all you can think about is me? 
You don’t what, Sparrow
?”

Sparrow’s control snapped and she yelled, “Yes, I still love you, yes, I still want you, yes, I hurt all the time, yes, I think about you every minute and, no, I don’t sleep at night!  There!  Are you happy now?”

Jack made an angry sound and captured her mouth in a hard kiss that was meant to punish, but instead of Sparrow objecting, she pressed back and wrapped her arms around his neck.  Their mouths melded together and Jack let his hands roam possessively over her.  One of his hands settled on her stomach and he felt the baby kick.  He’d felt many unborn babies kick over the years, but never one that was growing inside the woman he loved.

He was powerless to prevent the smile that started as they still kissed.  It made him slow down and become gentler as he remembered that no matter what had transpired between him and Sparrow, the baby was innocent in all of this.  Jack ended the kiss, but didn’t release her.

“I think I got him or her riled up a little,” he said and smiled.

Sparrow laughed at his statement.  Jack always said whatever was on his mind, even if the timing wasn’t appropriate.  His sudden good humor in the emotionally charged situation threw her off balance and struck her as funny.

She sobered as she looked into his eyes.  “Jack, why are you here?  Is it to punish me?”

Jack said, “No.  I need answers and I’m not going anywhere until I get them.”  He caressed her stomach again and asked, “When did you know about the baby?”

Sparrow said, “I found out the week before our wedding was to take place.  The same day I…told you… please don’t make me say it, Jack.”  Sparrow hated her weakness.  It wasn’t who she was, but she had been so lonely and her sadness had been weighing on her for so long that she didn’t have much strength left at the moment.

Jack’s smile turned sad.  “You mean the day you broke my heart?”

Sparrow looked back up at him and said, “And mine, Jack.  I broke my own heart that day, Jack.”

“Why did you do it?” Jack asked.

“Because it wouldn’t be fair for you to be stuck raising someone else’s child.  It’s not your responsibility,” Sparrow said.

Jack’s face tightened with anger and his jaw clenched.  “Do you remember what I told you that day in my house when I asked you how you’d kept from getting pregnant?  Do you remember me saying that I would have welcomed any baby of yours?”

“Yes, but I also know how much you wanted a baby of your own, how you were glad that I hadn’t gotten pregnant while I was with Panther,” Sparrow said.

“That was what I preferred, but the reality is that you
are
pregnant and this baby is a part of you and how can I not love a part of you when I still love you?” Jack said.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying!” Sparrow said.  “That didn’t make any sense.”

Jack smiled.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  This baby is a part of you.  I still love you.  So since I still love you, I would love this baby simply because it’s a part of you.”

“Even knowing who this baby’s father is?” Sparrow said.

“Yes.  I must get that from my Grandpa Samuels.  He did the same thing with Uncle Marcus even though Uncle Marcus wasn’t his, remember?  His biological father raped my grandma and that’s how she got pregnant with him,” Jack said.  “He still loved Uncle Marcus as much as he did Pa and Uncle Seth.  This baby can’t help who its father is, Sparrow.”

“No.  It doesn’t matter now.  Your family will never forgive me for lying.  I could never face them again,” Sparrow said as shame made her cheeks burn.  “I can’t blame them.” 

Jack’s voice was soft as he asked, “Sparrow, do you love me?  Please tell me the truth.”

Her voice was equally soft as she said, “Yes.  I have always loved you.  Since we first met when you were chopping wood and you smiled at me, I loved you.  All the time we were together, I loved you, and all the time we were apart, I loved you.  And even when I broke our hearts, I loved you.”

“And right now?”

“I love you,” she said.

This time when he kissed her, it was a sweet, tender kiss that told Sparrow that her deputy still loved his Lakota maiden. 

When the kiss ended, Jack said, “When I explain it to my family, they’ll understand, Sparrow.  They’re reasonable people and very forgiving.”

“What about your father?” Sparrow asked.  Dean could be frightening sometimes, much like Black Fox.

“You just let me deal with him.  It’ll be fine, Sparrow.  Come on and sit down with me.  You look like you’re tired,” Jack said as he sat down on her sleeping pallet.  He helped her sit down and leaned her back against him.

“I’m hungry, Jack,” Sparrow said.

Jack laughed.  “What are you hungry for?”

“Buffalo stew,” she said.

“Don’t start that again,” Jack said.  “Something easy.”

“Someone else’s buffalo stew?” Sparrow said with a smile.

“I’ll tell you what.  I’ll see what I can do.  You rest.  I’ll be back,” Jack said.  He placed a kiss on the side of her head and went to find something for supper.

Ben did take Marcus to task for not telling him more about Sasha.  The pretty blonde hadn’t been far from his mind since meeting her.

“I didn’t know you were looking for a relationship, Ben.  You’ve always been footloose and fancy free,” Marcus said.  “Besides, she’s leaving for Nebraska soon.”

Ben said, “If I had known sooner, I could have perhaps gotten to know her and maybe she wouldn’t be going back to Nebraska.” 

“Again, I didn’t know you were looking for anything serious,” Marcus retorted.  “I’m not a mind reader.  You were always talking about this woman or that one.  I wasn’t gonna subject Sasha to you because she’s not that kind of woman.  She’s a widow, Ben, and she’s not looking to take up with someone who’s not serious about a relationship.”

Ben harrumphed as he made notes in a chart, closed it, and slapped it on the pile of the ones that he’d completed.  “Were you looking for a relationship when you married your wife?  No, you weren’t, and yet here you are married how many years?  Eleven?  Twelve?  Two kids later and even more in love than the day you married her.”

Marcus frowned at his friend because he saw Ben’s point.  “Be that as it may, she’s got property in Nebraska and a home there.”

Ben asked, “When is she leaving?”

“The end of the week.”

“Damn it, Marcus!  That doesn’t give me much time,” Ben groused. 

“I’m sorry, Ben!  What do you want me to do about it?” Marcus asked.  He was starting to get angry.

Ben suddenly smiled.  He enjoyed getting Marcus’ ire up.  “Put in a good word for me so she’ll have dinner with me.”

Marcus laughed.  “I’ve never seen anyone outside of Joe manipulate people the way you do.”

“Pfft!  I can run circles around Tex.  Don’t forget who my daddy was,” Ben said.  “I learned from the best.”

“I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of, Ben,” Marcus said.

“Oh, don’t worry; I only use it for good, now.  Mostly,” Ben said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.  “And don’t act so innocent.  You do your fair share of manipulating.”

“That’s only to get patients to follow orders.  Well, or to get my brothers to do something,” Marcus said with a smile.  “Ok.  I’ll put in a good word for you tonight.  Good enough?”  Jack had called a family meeting so he and Claire were going to the ranch that evening.

“Thank you, sir.  You are a true gentleman,” Ben said.

“Yeah, yeah.  Now leave me alone.  I have my own charts to do,” Marcus said and began his work.

Jack was nervous yet determined as all eyes were focused on him as they sat in the cookhouse.  Mike had been asked to watch the children over at Seth and Maddie’s with the promise they would fill him in right after the meeting.  Jack wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and jumped in.

“Please don’t interrupt me until I’m done, because I need to get this all out.  Sparrow and I have talked and we’ve straightened a lot of things out.  Just listen to me, ok?” he asked.  When they remained silent, Jack continued.  He told them everything that had transpired between him and Sparrow the past couple of days.

“Can you see that she was just scared and thought she was doin’ the right thing by me?  That she never stopped loving me?” Jack said.

Dean said, “Ha!  I knew it!  I knew there was something else driving her actions!”

Everyone looked at Dean in surprise.

“I watched that girl with you and I saw how much she loved you.  I saw how happy she was when you were reunited with her in Wyoming.  You can’t fake that kind of thing,” Dean said.  He got up and paced a little.  “So what do you plan to do, son?”

“Well, I gotta find that ring so I can put it on her finger,” Jack said.

“Oh, Jack, do you really want to go down that road again?” Tessa asked.  “What if she changes her mind again?”

“I’ve thought about that, Mama, but I believe her.  I believe that she is telling me the truth.”

Marcus wasn’t convinced.  “I don’t know, Jack.  Maybe she’s just scared about raising the baby by herself and figures that she’s better off with you than alone.”

Jack speared his uncle with a hard look.  “If that was the case, why break up with me in the first place?  No, Uncle Marcus, you’re wrong.  She knows that what she did was wrong, but she thought she was doing it for the right reasons.  You of all people oughta understand that.”

Anger flickered in Marcus’ eyes but quickly faded.  He couldn’t deny that Jack was right.  Even after all this time, there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t regret keeping so many secrets for so long. 

“She deserves forgiveness as much as you did,” Jack said.  “I’m gonna marry her and raise this baby as my own.  It’s no less than Grandpa did with you, Uncle Marcus.”

Marcus flinched and blinked a few times to fight tears.  He got up and left the cookhouse.

Seth said, “Jack, was that necessary?”

“Yeah, it was.  I want to make my position very clear,” Jack said.

After giving Jack an angry glance, Claire went after Marcus.

Maddie sighed.  “Oh, my.  We all need to keep level heads and not turn on each other.”

“I agree,” Tessa said.

“Look, she’s scared to death that you all hate her.  I know she hurt you, too, but she was trying to be noble.  She was afraid that I would hate this baby because of it being Panther’s and not mine,” Jack said.

“So there’s no chance it is your baby?” Tessa asked.

Jack smiled.  “Mama, you oughta know me better than that.  I’m not saying the temptation wasn’t there, but no, it’s not mine.”

Tessa nodded.  “All right.  I just wanted to be sure.”

“So you all have a decision to make about whether you can forgive her or not,” Jack said.  “I can’t decide that for you.”

Dean said, “Well, as far as I’m concerned, she’s forgiven and I’m not gonna have any trouble being a grandfather to a little Indian baby.  I’ve learned a lot of lessons about forgiveness over the years and I’m willing to give her another chance.”

Jack grinned.  “Thanks, Pa.  You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Maddie said, “You can include me in that.  The poor girl.  I don’t know what I would do in that kind of situation.”

Tessa sighed and said, “If you’re certain of her feelings, Jack, then I suppose I must give her the benefit of the doubt.”

Jack turned his attention to Seth who smiled a little and said, “Count me in.  I’ve missed her.”

              Jack said, “I need to go talk to Uncle Marcus.”

              He found Claire and Marcus in the kitchen of his parents’ house.

              “Hi,” he said as he entered.  “Can I talk to you guys?”

              “Only if you’re going to be civil,” Claire said.

              Jack nodded and sat down.  “Uncle Marcus, I’m sorry for what I said.  I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

              A small smile flitted across Marcus’ features.  “Thanks, but you’re right.  I really have no right to judge Sparrow when I deceived my family and kept secrets from them for so long.  I was sorta rough on her when I talked to her.  I’ll apologize to her.  Not that you need it, but you have my support, Jack.”

              “I’ve always needed it,” Jack said.  “You’ve been there for me time after time and I’ll always be grateful to you.”

              “Aw, jeez,” Marcus said.  “You don’t know what a pain in the ass it is to be an emotional male.”  He wiped at his eyes with a shirt sleeve. 

              Jack said, “There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  You’re a better doctor for it, I think.  Mike’s the same way.  I hope he follows in your footsteps.”

              Claire laughed.  “That’s what we’re hoping.  Aiyana certainly is.  She was thrilled that we gave her her own medical kit for Christmas.”

              Jack smiled and said, “I want to apologize to you, too, Aunt Claire.”

              “It’s ok, Jack,” she said with a smile.

              “Thank you both,” Jack said.

              He couldn’t wait to give Sparrow the good news.  Now he just had to find that ring.

              Thanks to Mike’s information, Black Fox put his braves on high alert.  Mike wasn’t done playing spy, however.  He was a familiar figure around camp so he didn’t raise suspicion when he walked all over, visiting with this person or that.  He even offered some medical advice to people.  He was trying to hear the voice of the traitorous brave he’d overheard. 

              As he arrived at the tipi of Coyote, one of his favorite people, he stopped in his tracks.  His hand was poised over the flap of the old man’s tipi and he cocked his head.  Had he heard it or was he just imagining things?  Mike stayed still and kept listening.  The man spoke again and Mike got chills down his spine.  It was the voice he’d been searching for.  Now he needed to know the brave’s name.

              Mike walked a little further past White Horses’ tipi and the brave came into view.  He was talking to another brave.  Mike pretended to have a stone in his moccasin so it wouldn’t seem as though he was eavesdropping as he stood there.  He heard another brave who had joined the other two, call the one in whom Mike was interested, Night Wolf.

              Inside Mike was shouting for joy over his success, but he acted like he’d heard nothing.  Nonchalantly, he moved away from the area until he was far enough from the men that they wouldn’t see him running.  When he arrived at Black Fox’s tipi, Wind Spirit informed him that Black Fox was in a council meeting.

              Mike ran to the council tent and scratched on the flap.  Slow Turtle, a younger council member, opened the flap and looked at Mike with an irritated expression.

              “Go away, boy.  We are in the middle of things of importance,” he said.

              Mike bristled at his dismissive tone.  “I think you had better inform the chief that I am here to speak to him.  It is a matter of greater importance than anything you are discussing right now and if you were to delay me any longer, you will have to deal with his anger.”

              Slow Turtle’s eyebrows rose.

              Mike gave him a direct, challenging stare and said, “What are you waiting for?”

              Slow Turtle backed down and went inside the council tipi.  In a matter of moments, Black Fox came out.

              “What is it, nephew?” Black Fox asked.

              “Come with me, uncle,” Mike said.

              Black Fox followed him to the edge of camp where they would not be overheard.

              “I know who the traitor is,” Mike said.  “It’s Night Wolf.”

              The chief’s expression registered his surprise.  “Night Wolf?  Are you sure?  He is one of our best sentries.”

              “I’m positive.  What better position to be able to sneak away from at night to meet an ally?” Mike said. 

              Black Fox nodded.  “Good point.  And you’re certain?”

              “Positive.”

              Black Fox put a hand on Mike’s shoulders and said, “Well done.  You have earned much honor by helping to keep our people safe.  At the appropriate time, you will be awarded a coup, but for now, this must stay between us.  Agreed?”

              “Yes, uncle.”

              Black Fox nodded and said, “I must return to the meeting.  We will talk soon.”

              Mike ran home right after his conversation with Black Fox.  He located Dean in the cookhouse.  “Pa, I need to speak to you, please.”

              The urgency in Mike’s voice told Dean that it was serious. He followed Mike outside.  The boy drew his father further away from the cookhouse. 

              “I found him, Pa.  The traitor.  I know who it is and I told Uncle Black Fox.  He’s going to award me a coup later on, but it still has to be a secret, so please don’t say anything.  I wanted you to know, though,” Mike said.

              Dean smiled.  “Way to go.  I’m still worried about your safety, but you did a good job.”

              “Thanks, Pa,” Mike said.  “Ok.  I’m hungry.”

              Dean laughed and walked back into the cookhouse with his son.