Westward Moon (15 page)

              Geoff and Maureen, Tessa’s parents arrived with more presents for everyone and Maddie took them over to her and Seth’s house since Tessa’s house was already overflowing with gifts and such.  Tessa and Dean’s daughter Sadie and her husband, Tucker, also came.  Tucker was no longer shy around the family and chimed right in with the banter.  Their little boy, Ethan was quickly drawn into playing by the twins.

              Marcus had brought mistletoe with him.  He hung it all over both houses and even the barn so that people had to kiss every few steps, which made the chaos even worse, but more fun, too.  It was a good thing they had the cookhouse in which to eat their dinner so that everyone could dine together.  Even so, it was a little tight.

              No one wanted to say grace and it was argued about until Mike shouted, “Shut up!  I’ll do it!”  Stunned into silence, they were further shocked when Mike said a grace that was deeply moving.

              No one said anything for a few moments after he finished until Jack said, “Mike, that was beautiful, now pass the ham.  I’m hungry.”

              When everything was cleaned up from the meal, they all sat in the parlor to let their meals digest.  Marcus said to Seth, “Close your eyes.”

              “Why?” Seth said giving his brother a dubious look.

              “Just do it,” Marcus insisted and ran upstairs to Mike’s room.

              J.R. laughed and Seth looked at his son.  “You know what he’s up to, don’t you?”

              J.R. nodded, but wouldn’t say anything except, “Close your eyes, Pa.”

              Seth did as told.  Marcus was soon back and held up a finger to his lips as he drew something from behind his back.  “Hold out your hands, but put them kinda close to your chest.”

              “Does this thing come with all kinds of instructions, Marcus?” Seth asked.

              “Sorta.”

              Seth frowned and put his hands the way Marcus told him to.  Suddenly he felt something very soft in his palms. 

              “Ok, open your eyes,” Marcus said.

              Seth did and looked into the little dark eyes of a tiny black poodle puppy.  It whined and wagged its tail and tried to get to Seth’s face.  Seth looked at Marcus with wide eyes.

              “Where’d you get it?” Seth asked.

              “Oh, I know a guy who knows a lot of people in dog circles,” Marcus said.

              Seth held up the little ball of fur and laughed.  “He’s cute as all get out!  Thanks, little brother,” Seth said as he became a little misty-eyed.

              Seth’s little poodle, Trouble, had passed away the year before and Seth had missed his sidekick terribly.  Trouble had caused the accident in which Seth’s right leg had been severely injured.  He’d been on a cattle drive at the time.  Instead of being angry with the dog, Seth had formed an instant bond with the poodle and had brought him home.

              Seth laughed as the puppy barked and jumped at Seth.  Abruptly the puppy stopped and a stain spread on Seth’s shirt.  To everyone’s surprise, Seth didn’t get angry.  He shrugged and said, “It’s not the first time I’ve been peed on.”  To the puppy he said, “I don’t even have you five minutes and you’re causin’ me trouble.  I guess we know what your name is.  Now I gotta change my shirt, you little devil.  I’ll be back.”  He left the house with the puppy, talking to it the whole time.

              That evening, Raven showed up and joined the melee.  He brought Christmas tidings from the Lakota camp along with word that all was well.  He stood under mistletoe but had no idea what it was for.  Several of the women ganged up on him and kissed his cheeks and forehead to demonstrate.  The young brave laughed and tried to fend them off. 

              The poodle puppy, now dubbed Trouble Too, barked at him.  Seth and Marcus had argued about the spelling of the “too” part of the name.  Marcus said it should be “two” but Seth insisted that it be “too” because the puppy was trouble “as well”.  Seth had won the argument.

Raven had picked him up to look at him closer.  “Is this supposed to be a dog?”

              Seth said, “Yeah, he’s a dog.”

              “Oh.  He looks more like something I’d use for bear bait.  Nah, there’s not enough of him for a bear,” Raven said.

              Seth snatched the puppy from Raven and said, “This dog disappears, you’re the first one I’m coming after.”

              Raven laughed and left again.

              With Christmas over, life at the ranch began to resume as normal.  Jack’s forced vacation from work gave him and Sparrow more time together to get to know each other even better.  It also gave Dean another pair of hands to help out around the ranch temporarily.  He put Jack to work cleaning tack and other work he could do sitting down. 

              Jack taught Sparrow how to do it and they had a lot of time to talk about their wedding and about whether Sparrow should look for work or not.  Jack had some savings and his pay was fairly decent, but the job would never make him rich.  Since moving off the ranch, Jack refused to take money from his parents.  He wanted to make his own way and he intended to keep it that way.

              Sparrow was perfectly willing to work and Jack agreed that until they had children, it would be a good idea.  They’d be able to build up their savings even more.  Now she just needed to find a job. 

              “You’ll find one.  It’ll just land in your lap when you’re least expecting it, honey,” Jack said one day when she was worrying about it.

              They were working on cleaning bridles at the time. 

              “I know, but where?  It’s not as if just anyone is going to hire me,” Sparrow said.

              Jack said, “I know you’re worried about people being prejudiced, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.  I mean, look at Owl.  Most people like him and have no problem with him being around town.  Raven and Reckless, too.  It’s not like it once was, Sparrow.  You’ll see.”

              “I hope so.  I don’t want you to be embarrassed by me,” she said.

              His blue eyes held her gaze and he took her hand and tugged on it.  “Come here.”

              She stepped over to him and he sat her on his lap and said, “Sparrow, I could never be embarrassed by you.  You’re the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t give a crap what other people think.  I love you more than anything and I’ll beat the crap out of anyone who says one wrong word about you.”

              Sparrow laughed.  “So you would beat up the whole town?”

              Jack nodded.  “If I had to, sure.”

              “You are so funny,” she said.

              “Ok.  I’d try, anyway,” Jack said and kissed her.

              Sparrow rubbed his shoulders and kissed him back as his strong arms wrapped around her.  She loved his scent and the way his mouth was soft yet firm.  Sparrow craved Jack’s touch and wanted to touch him, too.  Jack wanted the same thing, but knew the tack room was not the best place.  The problem was that when he kissed her, all he could think about was how good she felt and tasted.  Sometimes his common sense almost left him.

              Sparrow heard someone approaching the tack room and jumped off his lap quickly and sat in her chair.  She picked up the bridle she’d been working on just as the door opened and Luke came in.

              Jack’s cousin took one look at the unhappy expression on Jack’s face and Sparrow’s bowed head and rolled his eyes.  He plucked the bridle Jack was working on out of his hands and said, “Don’t let me interrupt, kids,” and left again.

              The door shut and Sparrow started to laugh.  “Why do you always have to give it away?” she accused Jack.

              “Me?  You’re the one averting your eyes like crazy,” Jack said with a scowl.

              “Yes, but that’s normal for me.  You look like an angry cougar!” she retorted.

              “Well, what do you want me to do, smile?” Jack said.  “You get me all hot and bothered and then expect me to be happy when someone comes along?”

              Sparrow laughed so hard that Jack couldn’t keep a straight face, either.  Jack got off his chair, hobbled over and sat on her lap this time.  “Now I got your right where I want you,” he said and proceeded to tickle her until she shrieked. 

              Seth opened the tack room door, ready to defend whoever needed it and saw them.  “Jack, get off your fiancée.  You scared the crap out me.  You’re gonna crush the poor girl.”

              Jack did as he was told and sat back down in his own chair.  Sparrow caught her breath and said, “Thank you, uncle.”

              “Don’t mention it,” Seth said.

              Jack asked, “So how’s that bear bait of yours?”

              Seth glowered at Jack and said, “Don’t press your luck, son.  Be nice to your girl, now.”

              He left and Jack said, “Why is it always my fault?”

              “Because it usually is a man who is at the root of the problem,” Sparrow teased him.

              “Oh, yeah?” Jack said and made as if to come after her again.

              “Do not touch me or I will scream,” she warned.

              Jack laughed and stayed seated.

              Sparrow and Jack’s wedding was planned for early March.  Tessa had tried to convince them to wait for spring, but they were both steadfast in their decision.  Claire, Maddie, and Tessa initiated Sparrow into how weddings were conducted in white culture.  Since Claire had the best understanding of Lakota culture, she was able to help Sparrow and Jack with blending the traditions of both cultures into the wedding.  Sparrow was grateful to all of them for their help, but especially Claire, whom she asked to be her maid of honor.  All of the preparations were overwhelming to her and their guidance helped ease her anxiety.

              Jack was happy when his leg was healed enough that he no longer had to use the crutches.  He still had a little hitch in his gait, but at least he was mobile and he could return to work.  He’d enjoyed all the time he and Sparrow had been able to spend together while he’d been recuperating, but he’d missed his job, too.

              Although they hated being apart, Jack and Sparrow knew that if they kept staying together, they weren’t going to be able to resist the passion they felt for one another.  So Jack stayed at his house at night.  When he had trouble sleeping because he missed her, Jack would sit out on his front porch and gaze up at the moon and though he still wondered if his beautiful Lakota maiden was looking at it too, he mainly thanked the moon for finally giving him the answers he had sought for so long.

              Sparrow, too, had some nights when she couldn’t sleep until later in the night.  She was staying in the guest room in Maddie and Seth’s house.  Silently Sparrow would creep down the stairs and sit on the front porch.  She’d smile up at the moon because she knew there was a good chance that Jack was doing the same thing. 

As the wedding approached, she became more nervous.  She wanted to be a good wife to Jack and make him proud of her.  During the day while he was working, Sparrow would go to the village to work on her wedding present for Jack.  She had traded beadwork for supplies to make him a deerskin coat.  It was an arduous task, but one that she did with love. 

One night in early February, Marcus showed up at Jack’s house.  Even though it was cold, Jack sat out on the porch.  He smiled at his uncle.

“What are you doing here?” Jack asked as Marcus dropped into a chair.

“It was a hell of a day and I needed to unwind a little.  I hope you don’t mind, but I want to do a little whittling and I had an urge to sit here to do it,” Marcus said.

“Sure.  I don’t mind.  You know you can come anytime.  After all, it used to be your place,” Jack said.  “Growing up, I used to love watching you whittle and hearing you whistle.  I miss that.”  His expression was wistful.

Marcus smiled and said, “Me, too.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love our apartment, but there are times when I miss it out here.  Hearing the stream out back and all of the night birds.”  Marcus sighed.  “So much has changed over the years, huh?”

Jack nodded.  “Yep.  It sure has.  But they’re good changes.  I mean, look at you, Dr. Samuels.  It took a while, but you got that degree.  I’m proud of you.”

Marcus said, “Thanks.  I’m proud of you, too.  You’re a heck of a deputy and a good man.  I can’t believe you’re getting married next month.  You’re starting a new chapter to your life.  How do you feel about that?”

Jack looked up at the moon and smiled.  Was she watching it right then, he wondered.  “I can’t wait.  I’ve prayed for her to come back to me and here she is.  I meant what I told Pa; I’m not wasting any more time.  I am so anxious to get her to that altar and make her mine and me hers.”

Marcus laughed.  “Yeah.  I remember that feeling.  I’m so happy for you two, Jack.  You deserve to be happy.  I’m looking forward to being an uncle again, so don’t wait too long to have kids.”

“Are you kidding?  We’re gonna work on that right away,” Jack said with a laugh.  “You’ll be an uncle again in no time and Pa and Mama will be grandparents again.”

“Good,” Marcus said as he worked at making what looked like a kitten.  “You’re gonna be happy here, Jack.  We wouldn’t have sold this place or given it to anyone but you.  When and if the time comes that you want to move, please keep it in the family if possible.  That’s all I ask.”

Jack nodded.  “I promise to do that.  Who knows, maybe Mike will want it someday.  Well, I’m going to bed, but you stay as long as you want.  Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jack,” Marcus said.

              Night Wolf slipped from his post, making sure that no one saw him, and sped through the woods.  He reached the meeting place and let out a whistle.  It was answered and soon he was joined by White Deer, a brave from Two Dogs’ tribe.  Night Wolf was a secret supporter of Two Dogs’ tribe and had been feeding them with information about Black Fox’s tribe.

              Night Wolf gave White Deer the latest news on the tribe.

              “So Sparrow is still going to marry the white man?” White Deer asked.

              “Yes. What does Panther want me to do?”

              “Nothing, yet.  I will give you instructions as he gives them to me.  For now, just act as if everything is normal,” White Deer said.  “I will be back at the end of the week.”

              Night Wolf nodded and made his way back to camp.

              By the end of February, Sparrow began to panic.  It wasn’t about the wedding.  She would have been more than ready for that.  No, her problem was grave and she had no idea what she was going to do about it.  She was pregnant.  Apparently her potion to prevent pregnancy hadn’t been foolproof.  She had begun to suspect when she didn’t have her monthly in January but had hoped that all of the stress she had been under had caused the irregularity in her cycle.

              When she didn’t get it in February and she began to feel sick from time to time in the morning, she knew that she was with child.  She couldn’t go to Marcus to be checked, so she went to Ben and swore him to secrecy.  He confirmed her fears.  That day she sat in Marcus’ tipi since no one was using it.  She cried silently for most of the day.  Anger and disappointment raged within her at Panther for ruining any chance she had for a life with Jack. 

              There was no way she could marry him now and expect him to raise this child as his own.  She was going to have to call the wedding off.  What was she going to tell him?  The wedding was little more than a week away.  She must tell him that night that she couldn’t marry him.  Her shoulders shook with sobs as her heart broke.

              After work, Jack stopped by his house to feed his livestock.  He was surprised to find Sparrow sitting on the porch.

              “Hi, beautiful,” he said with a big smile.  “How come you’re sitting out here in the cold?  You should have waited inside.”

              Normally Sparrow would have jumped up to hug and kiss him.  When all she did was give him a tight smile, a sense of foreboding came over him.

              “What is it?” Jack asked as he knelt by her chair.  “What happened?”

              Sparrow looked him in the eye and said, “I can’t marry you.”

              Jack laughed.  “Nice try.  Now, tell me what’s wrong?”

              Sparrow shook her head.  “I’m not joking.  I can’t marry you.  It wouldn’t be right to keep deceiving you.”  Sparrow fought against tears.  She needed to appear cold and calculating.

              Jack’s brows knitted together.  “Deceiving me?  How?  I don’t understand, Sparrow.”

              “I feel that you should know the truth.  I did need to get away from Panther and I wanted to come back home.”  Sparrow swallowed and steeled herself so she could get her next words out.  “But not to you.  I do not love you anymore.  I really haven’t for some time, but I needed you to help me get back home.”  Somehow she met Jack’s gaze.

              Jack’s face drained of blood and he felt sick to his stomach.  “You used me?” he asked as he searched her face.  Her dark eyes looked steadily at him.  “You let me go down to Wyoming, putting my family in danger?  Putting the whole camp and my family here in danger?”

              “Yes.  I’m sorry.”

              Jack stood up as fury gripped him.  “Sorry?” he yelled.  “You’re sorry?  You’ve been lying to me this whole time?  Pretending that you wanted to marry me when you don’t love me?  How could you tell me you loved me?  How could you do that to me?  To my family!”

              “It was the only way—‘” Sparrow said.

              “Oh, spare me the sob story, Sparrow,” Jack said.  “God, what a fool I was.  Have you been laughing at me this whole time?  Why did you let things get this far?  Our wedding is-was only…” 

              Sparrow slipped off her engagement ring.  As she did so, a part of her died.  She held it out to him.  “This is yours.”

              Jack’s blue eyes had become icy and Sparrow shivered upon seeing the pain and anger in them.  She flinched as he roughly took the ring from her fingers.  Jack closed his fist around the ring.  Then he jumped down off the porch, pulled his arm back as far as it would go, and gave the ring a mighty fling into the woods.

              When he turned back to her, his expression was so fierce that Sparrow was afraid for a moment.

              “I assume you’ll be living at the camp now?” he asked coldly.

              “Yes.”

              “Then leave and go there now.  I won’t be going to camp anymore because I won’t be able to bear seeing you again.  You can explain to my family why that is,” Jack said.  “Get out of here!”

              Sparrow ran around the house to the trail.  She raced blindly down it.  Tears obscured her vision and she sobbed as she made her way to camp.  Sparrow hated herself for breaking the heart of the only man she would ever love, but it was better that he hate her.  She prayed that for his sake, he would someday find someone with whom to be happy.  It devastated Sparrow that it wouldn’t be her.

              “Pa!  Pa!”

              Dean and Tessa were woken by someone pounding on the kitchen door. 

              “Pa!  Mama!”

              They recognized Jack’s voice.  Dean rose and padded in his bare feet out to the kitchen.  He unlocked the door and suddenly his arms were full of his son.  Dean instinctively hugged him back.  Jack smelled strongly of alcohol.  Tessa came out and lit a lamp.  She was frightened by Jack’s hoarse sobs.  She had never seen him so distraught.

              “Jack, what happened?” Dean asked as he rubbed Jack’s back.  “Is it Sparrow?  Has she been hurt?”

              Jack shook his head.  He couldn’t stop crying.  Pain unlike he’d ever known consumed him and made speech impossible.  Jack wanted to die.  Sparrow’s defection was more than he could bear.

              “Tessa, pull that chair out, please?” Dean asked.

              Tessa moved the chair as Dean asked.

              Dean shifted Jack over to it and said, “Jack, sit down here, son.  You’re gonna break my back, buddy.  C’mon now.”

              Jack dropped into the chair and put his head in his hands.  Tessa went to him and he wrapped his arms around her waist and held on.  She ran her hands over his hair and murmured comforting words to him. 

              “Jack, you must tell us what’s wrong,” she urged.  “We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what happened.”

              Jack’s mind was befuddled from all the whiskey he’d drank and he wasn’t sure where to begin.  Since he wasn’t a big drinker, the alcohol was potent to his system.  He leaned away from Tessa and used his coat sleeve to wipe his face.  Rage filled him and somehow Jack had the presence of mind to leave the house so he didn’t wake up the kids. 

              “Where’re you goin’?” Dean asked.

              “To the barn,” Jack said in a voice they hardly recognized because it was so hoarse with emotion.

              Dean and Tessa quickly put on their coats and boots and followed him.  They found him pacing around the main barn floor. 

              “Jack, please tell us what’s wrong.  Has Sparrow been hurt?” Tessa said.

              Jack stopped walking and said, “No.  It’s not Sparrow that’s been hurt, it’s me.  I never saw it coming.”

              Dean said, “Jack!  Make sense, will you?  You’re scaring us to death here.”

              “I wish I could die!” Jack yelled.

              Tessa went over to him and roughly grasped his jaw.  She made him look at her and said, “Jackson Samuels, do not ever say anything like that in my presence again!  Do you understand me?”

              “Yes, Mama,” Jack said.  “I’m sorry, Mama.  It was all a lie.  She doesn’t love me.  The wedding’s off.”

              “What?  Why?” Tessa exclaimed. 

              Jack grasped Tessa’s upper arms.  “Mama, she used me, us, to get away from Panther, so she could get home again, but she doesn’t love me.  She told me tonight that she doesn’t want to marry me and that she stopped loving me a long time ago.”

              Dean and Tessa were dumbfounded.