Wasted Words (26 page)

“Hey,” she said as I approached.

I set the muffins next to her and leaned on the ice well. “Hey. I owe you an apology for last night.”

“Yeah,” was all she said, her knife clicking on the plastic cutting board, muffins not even glanced at.

My chest ached. “I’m sorry I interfered with you and Martin. I’m sorry for making a scene and for embarrassing you in front of everyone. I knew you liked Martin, but I was so stuck on you and Greg, I couldn’t let it go. I wanted that for you, but I didn’t stop to think about what
you
wanted.”

She sighed and set down the knife, turning to face me, everything about her accusatory. “No, you didn’t. Cam, I seriously wanted to die after you walked out. I just couldn’t believe you would be so rude to Martin, especially knowing I liked him. I mean, you had to be able to tell, couldn’t you?”

I nodded solemnly. “I knew how you felt, but I thought I knew better. I was wrong.”

“Yeah, you were.” Her small face bent in hurt. “I mean, what’s better than a smart, sweet guy with a great job and a sense of humor? One who likes me? After all of this, I’m still not convinced Greg even was even interested in me like that. He walked me home three times and never once made a move, but you insisted he was into me, so I kept hanging on to the idea that maybe it would happen.”

I stood very still, feeling worse with every word. “I know. You’re right.”

She shook her head and sighed again, turning back to the fruit on the board. “I’m just thankful no permanent damage was done, other than Martin thinking you’re kind of a shitty human.”

“Oh, that’s all?” I joked.

She smirked at me, the tension fading slowly out of her. “Well, it’s true, even if your intentions were good. We all have our moments, Cam.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

She sighed. “Yes, I forgive you. And I know you won’t approve, but I went home with Martin last night. He was just so sweet, making sure I was okay — he even apologized for being rude to
you
. But he stood up for me. As far as I was concerned, you were the only one who needed to apologize.”

I smiled at her. “Well, you’re wrong about one thing.”

“Oh?” she asked with a brow raised in challenge.

“I do approve. You and Martin are a match well made, much better than I could do myself, and you have my full and happy blessing. Not that you need it.”

She smiled, all anger gone, her cheeks pink. “Thanks, Cam.” She embraced me, and I hugged her back, grateful for her forgiveness.

I pulled away, smiling back. “Will you pass it on to Martin? I’m not sure if he’ll ever want to see me again.”

Bayleigh picked up her knife again. “He’ll actually be in here in a bit. He’s swinging by on his lunch break.”

“Great. I’ll save some apology muffins for him.”

She snickered.

“So how did it go last night at his place?”

She sighed, her eyes all starry. “He’s so great, Cam. I don’t know how you couldn’t see it. We were up most of the night talking.”

“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

She giggled. “No, I mean, we did that too, but he was an absolute gentleman. Lucky for him, I’m not much of a lady.”

I laughed.

“But I just …” She sighed again. “I just had the best time.”

“So my assholery was ultimately helpful?”

She snorted. “Don’t go getting ideas. We all could have done without the mess. I would have gone home with him whether you’d been an asshole or not.” She perked up. “Oh, and I wanted to tell you — he helped me come up with a nickname too.”

I perked up, curious. “What is it?”

“Bebe. My middle name starts with a B too, so it works. What do you think?”

“It’s just right. That way if people spell it with two Bs, it’s still your initials.”

“I know! Martin is super smart. And he agreed I shouldn’t use my middle name.

I frowned. “Hang on, you already told Martin your secret middle name?”

But she laughed. “Next time you rock out my vagina, I’ll tell you too.”

I helped her finish setting up the bar and made my way back to Rose, relieved that all was well. And when Martin came by — with donuts for Bayleigh, and I swear she could have proposed to him on the spot — I apologized to him too, muffins in hand. He accepted, seeming relieved to have me on board at last, and with that, I was entirely forgiven. And as for Greg, who seemed to be blissfully unaware of all of it, I decided to look for another match for him, one better suited to him, without my own feelings clouding my judgment.

The day flew by after that, I’m sure in part because of the relief I felt. Tyler messaged me a few times throughout the day, once with a photo of him behind a mountain of papers with an overwhelmed, wide-eyed look on his face. He was also sure to let me know about when he thought he’d be home, so I wouldn’t worry.

I wondered again why in the world such a man would put up with the likes of me.

By the time the work day was done, I was thoroughly terrified of the impending shopping excursion, though thankful for Rose, who wisely insisted that we stop by the bar for whiskey shots on our way out. I wished I had a hip flask, though I’d probably only end up getting wasted and buying a dress with feathers on it or something. So with a deep sigh and a reassuring look from Rose, we were on our way into a nightmare of lace and chiffon.

Tyler

I pulled open the door to the bar to the sound of loungy electronic music, scanning the crowd, looking for Kyle. I felt a little underdressed — everyone already seemed ready for the night life, even though dusk had barely fallen. I found him leaning against the bar in a suit next to a pretty girl and her friend in sparkly dresses, one blonde, one brunette. They were all smiles, and by the way the girls were looking at him — starry-eyed and leaning toward him — I was certain he’d told them who he was.

He jerked his chin at me and pushed off the bar, extending a hand. I clasped it, and he pulled me into a hug.

“‘Sup, man?” he asked, smiling in a way that was infectious.

“Not much,” I answered, softened by the glimpse of the old Kyle.

He turned back to the girls. “I’d like you to meet my buddy Tyler.”

They lit up, and the blonde asked, “Oh, do you play for the Giants too?”

I smiled politely and opened my mouth to answer, but Kyle beat me to it.

“We used to play together at Nebraska. Tyler would have gone pro if hadn’t gotten hurt, though — no doubt. He was the absolute best.”

I sighed and tried to keep smiling as their faces turned to pity.
 

“Oh, my God. That’s so sad,” the brunette said.

I shrugged. “It wasn’t the end of the world.”

Kyle shook his head. “I don’t know, man.” He turned to the girls again. “When he was injured, I was there every step of the way. He lost everything that day.”

I kept still, trying to mask any discomfort I felt — which was a lot. “That was just one dream. I have plenty more where that came from.”

He laughed. “It’s true. I mean, it’s not like going pro was the only thing in the world. Just the best thing.”

I shifted, hating to hear the honesty of what he really thought about me. That I was second-rate. Not like I hadn’t known, but for him to say it aloud, even veiled, in front of strangers, was tiresome and aggravating.

“Come on. Let me get you a beer,” he said jovially.

“Please.” The word was dry.

The girls smiled at me, not seeming to notice. The blonde picked up her martini. “So, you’re an agent? Like in Jerry McGuire?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, sort of.”

“Do you represent anyone we’ve heard of?”

“Probably, we represent a lot of NFL players.

Kyle interjected. “He represents Pharaoh Carson.”

“My boss does, not me,” I added.

The blonde’s eyes went soft, and she touched her necklace. “Oh, I feel so bad, about him being an alcoholic and all. I hope rehab really works for him, you know?”

The brunette nodded knowingly. “We all have our vices.”

Kyle turned to me with my beer, and I took it, gratefully.
 

“Want to go get a table?” I asked, taking a long pull of it.

He looked downtrodden. “We were just getting to know the girls here.”

“Yeah, but I have a girlfriend.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Who, Cam?”

I gave him a look.
 

His face fell. “Oh. You’re serious.”

I turned to the girls. “It’s nice to meet you two. Have a good night.”

They watched after us sadly as we walked away, saying “Bye,” in unison.

We headed back to a table against the wall and took seats, and I tried to ignore Kyle’s watchful eyes.
 

I tried changing the subject, not wanting to talk to Kyle about Cam. “Did you hear from the twins?”

He made a face. “Man, I was not interested after all that. I mean, they were so embarrassing.”

“You’re not even the one who got pissed on.”

“Yeah, fuck that.” He took a drink. “I mean, a shot with twins was worth the tickets, but …” He shuddered.

I shook my head. “What a hero.”

“That’s exactly what Cam said.” He watched me for a beat. “So what’s up with you two?”

“I’m seeing her,” was all I was willing to offer.

He waited expectantly.

My brow dropped, anger flashing through me at the thought of explaining it in any detail. He wouldn’t understand. My tolerance for Kyle had become nonexistent, and in that moment, I saw it clearly for the first time. “What do you want me to say, man? I’m dating Cam. I’m speaking English, right?”

“It’s just weird. You and … Cam?”
 

I couldn’t help but notice his lip curled. “What’s so weird about it?”

He shrugged a big shoulder. “I dunno, dude. It’s just that she’s not your type. I mean, you used to live with a model.”

“A model who dumped me for being ‘too nice.’ What the fuck does that even mean?”

“It means she wants some guy to treat her like shit. I think chicks call it
alpha
or something. Anyway, how do you think I get so much play?”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” I shot, disgusted at the thought. “I don’t think I should have to apologize for having respect for someone I care about. And the real story is that she thought I was someone I’m not.”

“I dunno, maybe she just wanted you to get a little rough in the bedroom.” He made spanking motions with his hand.

I glared. “Yeah, that wasn’t the problem.”

“Well, then what was it?”

“She didn’t want me. She wanted money or a title or … I don’t know. I was just sort of blinded by her, I guess. She’s a damn good actress — she had me convinced she was in love with me for over a year.”

“Maybe she was just bored.”

“Who knows. Why am I explaining myself to you?”

He shook his head, the light gleaming off his blond hair. “Look, man. You can get chicks like Jessica and Gretchen with nothing but the snap of your fingers.” He snapped to demonstrate, as if a girl would appear. “Like when you bailed on going out with me Saturday to go on a date with Adrienne Fucking Christie. You could have had her, but you’re with …
Cam.
”

My brow dropped, jaw clenching. “Watch it, Kyle. I chose Cam over Adrienne — or anyone else for that matter — for a reason.”

“I miss you, man. We used to be the same, you and me. But now …” He looked me over sadly. “I don’t even think I know you anymore,” he said, in part to himself, I think. “I just don’t get it. Why her?

I almost got up and left, not really interested in defending myself to a guy I didn’t even know if I could call a friend anymore. But I stayed put if for no other reason than to defend her.

“Why did I pick Cam? I picked her because she’s smart. She’s beautiful and she’s funny. She doesn’t put up a front — what you see is exactly what you get with her. Don’t you know how much I want that? After everything …” I swallowed hard. “Cam is everything I’m looking for in a woman, and she makes me happy. Is that reason enough for you?”

His face was frozen. “Listen, I—”

“No, you listen. I don’t even know why I hang out with you anymore, not when you constantly make fun of my life, my friends. Like you have all your shit figured out. Well, I’m sorry I’m not more like you.” I pushed away from the table, jaw tense. “No, you know what? That’s a lie. I wouldn’t want to be like you even if I could because you don’t give a shit about anybody but yourself.” I stood and gave him one last look. “It’s lonely at the top, right? But maybe, just maybe, if you didn’t treat the rest of the world like you do, you wouldn’t be all alone.”

And with that, I turned and walked away, leaving him sitting stunned on the barstool, ready to be anywhere but where I was.

Cam

I WRINKLED MY NOSE AT my reflection in the dressing room mirror of the high-end department store. “Do these mirrors add ten pounds or make you three inches shorter?”

Lily, Rose’s best friend, laughed from the other side of the door. “Both. Let’s see it.”

I opened the door with a look on my face that said I wasn’t amused.
 

“Hmm.” Rose folded an arm, touching her red lips with her other hand. “I hate that. It’s the color of creamed salmon.”

I motioned to the front of it. “What’s with this gathered twisty thing?”

Lily huffed, standing tall behind me, her blond hair long. “That gathered twisty thing is actually super flattering.” She was dressed impeccably, which compelled me to listen to her advice, but I looked back in the mirror and frowned.

Rose rolled her dark eyes. “Old ladies wear dresses like this because it hides stuff.”

“Like hot dogs and lies,” I said. “I do feel pretty old in this. I look like sexy frozen yogurt.”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with that,” Lily said.

“Salmon flavored frozen yogurt,” I added.

“It’s like a cougar dress,” Rose added. “You could really rake in some high school boys with this beauty.”

Lily threw her arms up in the air. “You guys are the worst. Next,” she sang, turning on her heel like the ballerina she was. I swear, she could look graceful scrubbing a toilet.