Waiting for Perfect (39 page)
Read Waiting for Perfect Online
Authors: Kelli Kretzschmar
He shakes his head,
disgusted with me as he should be.
“She almost died, Sebastian!
He almost killed her.
Do
you realize what she’s going through right now?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“She’s thinking about how much she
hates me for letting this happen to her.”
There is pure
revulsion in Nick’s voice.
“You’re
a selfish prick, you know that?
She
loves
you, asshole!”
I know it hurts for him to say those
words, no matter how wrong he is.
I close my eyes,
releasing a long breath.
“She
shouldn’t.”
Nick slams my door
shut.
“Screw you, Sebastian,” he
says pointedly before walking away.
The sound of disappointment in his voice is almost enough for me to go
after him.
I sit in silence
for what seems like forever.
I
just found Kendra, and now I’m going to lose her.
I try every way I can to bend this truth into something I
can digest, but it still tastes like poison.
I don’t want to lose her.
I feel like I’ve lost everything.
I lost my mom.
I lost my dad.
I lost my
home in San Antonio and most of my friends.
Now I’ve lost my cousin too.
I tried not to
focus on my losses.
I tried to
stay positive.
I tried to make a
new start for myself in California.
I tried to change into a man that was worthy of a girl like Kendra.
But maybe a person like me isn’t capable
of change.
Orange County isn’t
my home.
I grew up on the south
side of San Antonio.
Our house had
bars on the windows, for Christ’s sake.
Kids didn’t leave their bikes out in the front yard, or that shit would
be stolen.
There weren’t eight
cops showing up for a rape call.
Girls probably wouldn’t even report a rape.
Sex was everywhere anyway.
Sex, drugs, alcohol – you name it, it was
everywhere.
And Ricky and I did it
all.
Did I think I could
change if I moved to a different state?
I thought that I could change for Kendra.
She was the only one that I’ve ever
wanted to change for.
But I messed
it up, and now I’ve lost her.
Maybe the only thing left for a person with nothing left to lose is
finding solace in what he once was.
I know what I have to
do.
It’s the only way I can make
myself forget about her.
She’s
better off forgetting about me too.
I slide my phone on
and call the one person who has been there for me since I was in first grade,
the one person I’ve always trusted.
He answers after two
rings.
“Hey, man,” he says
in a voice that is so familiar, it’s like fresh air to my lungs.
“What’s up?
You up to no good like usual?” There’s a playful side to his
tone, but he doesn’t know how right he is.
I take a deep breath
and answer reluctantly.
“Ricky, I screwed
everything up.
I’m coming home.”
Look for
No Fear of Perfection
, the sequel to
Waiting for Perfect
, coming November
2014.
Rape and sexual assault are crimes. If you or someone you
know is the victim of sexual assault, it is important to know that it is
not
your fault.
Use the information below from
http://www.rainn.org
to get
the help you need.
Who are
the Victims?
https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
Women
·
1 out of every 6 American women has been the
victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape;
2.8% attempted rape).
1
·
17.7 million American women have been victims
of attempted or completed rape.
1
·
9 of every 10 rape victims were female in
2003.
2
Men
·
About 3% of American men — or 1 in 33
— have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
1
·
In 2003, 1 in every ten rape victims were male.
2
·
2.78 million men in the U.S. have been victims of
sexual assault or rape.
1
Children
15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age
12.
3
·
29% are age 12-17.
·
44% are under age 18.
3
·
80% are under age 30.
3
·
12-34 are the highest risk years.
·
Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the
general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault
·
7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in
grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.
4
·
3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades
9-12 said they had been sexually abused.
In 1995, local child protection service agencies
identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated
or indicated sexual abuse.
5
·
Of these, 75% were girls.
·
Nearly 30% of child victims were between the age
of 4 and 7.
93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their
attacker.
6
·
34.2% of attackers were family members.
·
58.7% were acquaintances.
·
Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the
victim.
Effects
of Rape
Victims of sexual assault are:
7
·
3 times more likely to suffer from
depression.
·
6 times more likely to suffer from
post-traumatic stress disorder.
·
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
·
26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
·
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
What
Should I Do If I’ve Been Attacked?
https://rainn.org/get-information/legal-information/what-should-i-do
·
Find a safe environment — anywhere away from
the attacker. Ask a trusted friend to stay with you for moral support.
·
Know that what happened was
not your fault
and that now you should do what is best for you.
·
Report the attack to police by calling 911. A
counselor on the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE can help you
understand the process.
·
Preserve evidence of the attack - don't bathe or
brush your teeth.
·
Write down all the details you can recall about
the attack & the attacker.
·
Ask the hospital to conduct a rape kit exam to
preserve forensic evidence.
·
If you suspect you were drugged, ask that a urine
sample be collected. The sample will need to be analyzed later on by a forensic
lab.
If you know that you will never report, still consider:
·
Get medical attention. Even with no physical
injuries, it is important to determine the risks of STDs and pregnancy.
·
Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated
by RAINN, for free, confidential counseling, 24 hours a day: 1.800.656.HOPE.
·
Recognize that healing from rape takes time. Give
yourself the time you need.
·
Know that it's never too late to call. Even if the
attack happened years ago, the National Sexual Assault Hotline or the
National Sexual Assault Online Hotline
can
still help. Many victims do not realize they need help until months or years
later.
Reporting
the Crime to the Police
https://rainn.org/get-information/legal-information
We hope you will decide to report your attack to the
police. While there’s no way to change what happened to you, you can seek
justice and help stop it from happening to someone else.
Reporting to the police is the key to preventing sexual
assault: every time we lock up a rapist, we’re preventing him or her from
committing another attack. It’s the most effective tool that exists to prevent
future rapes. In the end, though, whether or not to report is your decision to
make.
Helping
a Loved One
https://www.rainn.org/get-help/help-a-loved-one
There are many ways that you can help a friend or family
member who has been a victim of rape or sexual violence:
·
Listen. Be there. Don’t be judgmental.
·
Be patient. Remember, it will take your loved one
some time to deal with the crime.
·
Help to empower your loved one. Rape and sexual
violence are crimes that take away an individual’s power. It is important not
to compound this experience by putting pressure on your loved one to do things
that he or she is not ready to do yet.
·
If you are dealing with an issue involving your
child, create a safe place by
talking directly to
them.
·
If you are the
non-abusing parent
in
a case of incest, it is important to support your child and help them through
this situation without blaming them. This is also true if you are
not a parent but
still an observer of incest.
·
If your loved one is considering
suicide,
follow-up
with them on a regular basis.
·
Encourage your loved one to report the rape or
sexual violence to law enforcement (call 911 in most areas). If your loved one
has questions about the criminal justice process, talking with someone on the
National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1.800.656.HOPE, can help.
·
Let your loved one know that professional help is
available through the
National Sexual
Assault Hotline,
1.800.656.HOPE, and the
National Sexual Assault Online Hotline
.
·
If your loved one is willing to seek medical
attention or report the assault, offer to accompany him or her wherever s/he
needs to go (hospital, police station, campus security, etc.)
·
Encourage him or her to contact one of the
hotlines, but realize that only your loved one can make the decision to get
help.
·
It is also important to note that having
a friend or family member who is raped or assaulted can be a very upsetting
experience. For this reason it is also important that
you
take care of yourself.
Even if your friend and family member isn’t
ready to talk to a hotline specialist, you can get support for yourself. You
can also get ideas about ways to
help your friend or
family member
through the recovery process.
1.
National Institute of Justice & Centers for
Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences
of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998.
2.
U.S. Department of Justice. 2003 National
Crime Victimization Survey. 2003.
3.
U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex
Offenses and Offenders. 1997.
4.
1998 Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of
Adolescent Girls. 1998.
5.
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services,
Administration for Children and Families. 1995 Child Maltreatment
Survey. 1995.
6.
U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics. 2000
Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement. 2000.
7.
World Health Organization. 2002.
