Vindicated (27 page)

And then those organs inside of me that felt so dead just disappeared.

“Jessica?” Emily said, her voice sounding very far away.

“Yeah?” I barely managed to whisper.

“You and Alex need to come home.”

“Yeah.”
 
My hand snapped the phone closed.

Neither Alex or I said much as we headed back to the airport, sat on the plane for hours that felt like seconds.
 
We loaded our bags into the GTO when we got into Seattle and then the wheels were meeting the pavement of I-5.
 
In what felt like only minutes since we left Costa Rica, we arrived home at two in the morning.

I had texted Emily when we arrived at SeaTac Airport, and she pulled into the driveway just five minutes after we walked into the door.
 
She looked like hell.

Neither of us said anything as Emily wrapped her arms around me.
 
It felt like I had gallons of tears threatening to break from my eyes, but I could only hold Emily with stiff arms and hold my breath.

“What happened?” I finally managed.

Emily stepped away from me, wiping her cheeks with the back of her denim jacket sleeve.
 
Alex stepped to my side and slid his hand into mine.

“The doctors said it was a brain aneurysm.
 
I just found out a few hours ago, got the report.
 
They said she had probably had it for a while and it was just getting worse the last few months.”

“That’s why she was hallucinating and seeing her husband,” Alex said.
 
I felt the rock in my stomach grow all the heavier.

Emily nodded, her eyes shining with tears yet to fall.
 
“The doctor said it seemed unlikely that she wouldn’t be hallucinating.
 
They said it was just a time bomb ticking in her head.
 
But they wouldn’t have been able to operate on it, ‘cause of where it was in her brain.”

That didn’t ease the guilt I felt in the pit of my stomach.
 
I had known she was hallucinating.
 
What if I could have done something?
 
Maybe there would have been some other kind of treatment if we would have found it sooner.

“I’m so sorry, Jessica,” Emily said in a trembling voice.
 
Two more tears traced paths down her cheek.

I just nodded, my eyes slipping to the floor.

And then I felt Alex’s hand start to shake in my own.
 
As I looked at it, I saw the veins rise from his skin, bulging out against his tightening skin.

Alex’s breath caught in his chest and as I looked up at him, he closed his eyes, his jaw clenching tightly.

“He doesn’t have much longer left, does he?” Emily asked.

I met her eyes, saw her new fear.
 
Something inside of me felt like it was trying to claw its way out.
 
I pushed it back down, afraid what it might present itself as if it managed to get out.
 
“No.
 
We’re working on it.”

Alex worked his way over to the couch with my help and tucked his knees up into his chest.
 
He just sat there with his eyes squeezed closed, trying with everything he had in him to stay.
 
In unneeded hushed tones, I hurriedly explained to Emily what we were trying to do, that I was putting myself back into the afterlife.
 
And then I had to explain how I had been going back before, how Jeremiah had been following me.

“They just won’t stop,” she said, holding my hand tightly in hers.
 
“Will they?”

“Not until they get me back,” I said, staring at nothing, shaking my head.
 
“And Alex.”

“Don’t stop fighting,” Emily said, squeezing my hand.
 
“You’ve earned a life.
 
After everything they’ve put you through.
 
You deserve a real life.”

I gave Emily a tight lipped smile, squeezing her hand.
 
Every one kept feeling sorry for me and giving me their sympathy.
 
So many had said that everything “wasn’t fair” or that I deserved better, but now it was just starting to feel like meaningless words.
 
All the talk in the world wasn’t going to fix anything.

“I’d better get going,” Emily said with a sigh, pressing her hands into her reddened cheeks.
 
“I have to teach in the morning and I’m meeting up with Austin later.”

“So the two of you are dating then?” I asked, grateful for the change in conversation.

“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging.
 
“We hang out a lot and I’ve spent quite a bit of time with his family.
 
We held hands once but that was about it.
 
I like spending time with him.”

“I’m glad,” I said, giving her a small smile as she stood.

“Hang in there, Alex,” she said, giving him a sorrowful look.
 
He just managed a nod before she stepped out the front door.

As soon as the door closed, I collapsed back into the couch, my breath coming out in a big whoosh.

It felt like I had the world sitting on my chest and eventually I was just going to be crushed through the couch, into the ground below the house, and be swallowed up into nothing.

Alex’s hand slid into mine and I looked over to see his frame relax slightly.
 
There were a few new black veins protruding around his eyes though.
 
Everything about him seemed tight and unnatural.

“Better?” I asked wearily.
 

“Not particularly,” he said, and I could tell he was forcing his body to relax.

I studied his changing face for a few long moments.
 
His eyes weren’t to the point that Cole’s were yet, but they weren’t far from it.
 
Already, Alex was becoming less beautiful to look at, and more frightening.
 
His skin stretched over his bones, like he was being sucked into himself.

“I’m tired,” I said, my eyes never leaving his gray ones.

“Are you really?” he breathed, his eyes never wavering either.

I finally broke away, staring at the black glass of the back door.
 
“I don’t know,” I said as I shook my head.
 
“I’m not even sure what real tired feels like anymore.
 
But I have to go back.”

And without saying anything, because there was nothing new left to say, we both stood, and walked into the bedroom.
 
We went through the motions of getting ready for bed, brushing teeth, changing clothes.
 
Without a word spoken, we climbed between the sheets and I curled into Alex’s side.
 
He slid his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my wilder than normal hair.

As I let my eyes slide closed, I did feel tired.
 
Not tired as in wanting to sleep though.
 
Tired of angels, of death, of always trying to fight so hard.

I just wanted a few normal hours.
 
That was all.

But I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
 
Alex and I had reached the peak of our climb together.
 
We were staring down at the avalanche that was going to take us to the bottom, not quite able to see where all of this was going to end.
 
But there was no stopping this.

So I jumped off that peak, and let sleep take me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The shift inside of me hit me like a punch in the gut as I felt stone beneath my feet.
 
In the all too familiar gasp, my lungs searched for air.
 
After a few moments of nothing, hot, suffocating oxygen finally filled my quivering lungs.

Looking up, I saw the chairs of the council members, saw the bottoms of perfect bare feet.
 
A figure stood on the catwalk, their sobs audible, even clear down here, so close to the fiery depths.

“There she is,” I heard the hissed whispers from across the cylinder.
 
My eyes flashed to the speaker and found a woman whispering to a small group of other’s.
 
All at once, their eyes found mine and I stood frozen as they started shifting through the mass toward me.

The group seemed to grow as they made their way around the large space, descending down the staircase toward me.
 
I could only stand frozen as they approached, standing with my back pressed against the hot stones behind me.

“You are the proxy,” a man with black eyes spoke as the group stopped, just a few feet away from me.
 
Nearly a dozen pairs of black eyes settled onto my face.
 

I simply nodded my head.

“We have heard what you are trying to do,” he spoke again.
 
The light of flames danced on the surface of his perfectly white teeth.
 
“Hushed word is being spread around the afterlife about a female proxy, asking favors of those she stood for.
 
You aren’t supposed to be here.”

“I know that,” I said, my voice sounding more confident than I felt.
 
“And I ask that you not inform certain angels about my presence.”

The man and a few of those behind him chuckled.
 
“Mischief and rule-breaking is part of what granted us the brands on the back of our necks and the color of our eyes.
 
Trust us, none of us are going to tell on you for doing something you’re not supposed to be doing.”

“Do you know why I am here?” I asked, hiding my shaking hands behind my back.

“Someone who kept you from joining us is in danger of not being around anymore,” he said casually.

I nodded.
 
“And when he comes back, I need you all to not accept him.
 
I need him sent back.”

Several members of the group laughed, glancing back and forth between each other.
 
“You’ve got spunk.
 
You’re a brave one.
 
But naive.
 
He’s dead.
 
His life is gone.
 
He can’t be sent back and be dead.”

“Just say that you’ll do it,” I said harshly, anger starting to brew in my system.
 
“You all know what I’ve done for you.
 
The hell I experienced for you.
 
When the time comes, just say you won’t accept him.
 
You owe it to me.”

The man who had been speaking for the others gave me a hard look, the wheels in his head turning.
 
“I make no promise.
 
But I will not forget what you have done for me,” he said, his eyes narrowing.

I heard a scream from above as a newly branded angel was dragged down into the fiery depths.
 
Suddenly the cylinder was chaos.
 
And I felt him before I saw him.
 

Cole and Jeremiah were on the staircase just above us, descending.
 
Toward the group that surrounded me, and myself, hiding against the wall.

The man I had been talking to looked at me with wide eyes, glancing between me and the two council members.
 
In a split second, he threw me over the edge of the staircase just as Cole glanced in my direction.

Violent tremors shook my hands as I cupped water in my hands at the kitchen sink and splashed water over my face.
 
Something shook my insides.
 
Or maybe it was more violent than that.
 
It felt like a jack-hammer had been set loose inside of me.

Things had gotten worse overnight.
 
For both Alex and I.
 
The pain was so much worse after I woke up.
 
My insides wouldn’t settle.
 
I felt half in the afterlife, half in this world I wasn’t supposed to be a part of.
 
And I’d woken up to Alex with his wings visible, glinting in the sun, the light breaking through them in too many places.
 
The blackness around his eyes was more pronounced, his skin frightening and shrinking on his bones.
 
His entire frame trembled.