Vindicated (28 page)

The real life situation didn’t feel any less dreary than my supernatural one.
 
I’d contacted a funeral home and they had agreed to take care of the funeral arrangements.
 
I’d also called Sal’s attorney and she was taking care of everything else.
 
My voice sounded dead even to me on the phone as I made the calls.

“Jessica?” a voice called from the master bedroom.

Closing my eyes tight for a second, I attempted to still the hurricane that was inside of me.
 
Letting the oxygen flow in and out of my lungs should have made them feel real, but they didn’t.

“Coming,” I said as I stepped away from the counter.
 
Every step I took across the hardwood floor seemed to echo maddeningly, my angelic senses in overdrive.

I stepped into the bedroom, the weight of everything a physical thing in the air.
 
Amber sat in the rocking chair by the window, her eyes fixed on Alex’s form on the bed.
 
He sat with his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms curling up and around his head.
 
His entire frame was so tight looking it seemed he might shatter at any moment.
 
Every feather of his wings shook.

“I have to go into work soon,” Amber said, the fear of this impossible situation obvious in her voice.
 
“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I half whispered, my voice sounding awful.
 
“I’m fine.”

She stood and wrapped her arms around me for a brief minute.
 
“I’m so sorry,” she breathed.
 
She let go and a moment later I heard the front door close.

I watched Alex for a while.
 
After I’d woken at five that morning and seen how bad Alex was, I was too afraid to let him out of my sight for even a moment, afraid that if I did, he would be gone.
 
But as panic started to eat at me, my nerves were strung out, I had called Amber to come sit with him while I gave myself a break for two hours.

“Hey,” I finally said as I sat next to him on the bed, placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

He didn’t say anything in return, just took a sharp intake of breath.

“I’m…” my voice wavered, afraid to voice the thoughts I wasn’t sure I could turn into actions.
 
“I’m thinking about taking one of Sal’s sleeping pills, so I can start going back more often.”
 
But everything in me screamed
no!
against that statement.

“Jessica,” Alex said, his voice sounding pained in every way.
 
“You know you can’t handle much more of this.
 
You are already sleeping almost as much as you are awake.
 
I can practically smell the pain you’re in.”

A single tear rolled down my cheek as I bit my lower lip for a moment to try and control myself.
 
“At least it can’t kill me,” I breathed.

“But what kind of existence are you going to have after all of this?” he asked, his eyes terrifying as they met mine.
 
I had to force myself to keep looking at him.
 
“You’re shredding yourself to pieces.
 
I can tell something in you doesn’t come back each time you sleep.”

“I am
not
giving up!” I suddenly hissed through clenched teeth.
 
My hands shook all the harder.
 
“Don’t you dare give up on me Alex Wright, and don’t you
dare
try and stop me from saving you!”

My breath came in and out in ragged draws as Alex looked at me with wide, surprised eyes.
 
I let mine drop from his, feeling the fire that suddenly filled me die out.

“I’m sorry,” I said in a rush.
 
“I’m sorry.
 
I just…” I squeezed my eyes closed and pressed my fists into them, feeling my shoulders slump in on me.
 
“I’m just…”

“Shh,” Alex said and I felt his shaking arms wrap around me.
 
“I know.”

“I just don’t know if what I’ve done is going to be enough,” I said, my voice finally starting to calm.
 
“They want you back so bad.
 
I just don’t know if I’ve talked to enough of them.
 
If I can just talk to more, they can help spread the word, maybe then it will be enough.”

“It will have to be,” Alex said as he stroked my hair.
 
“Or I’ll start my own war in the afterlife.”

Amber came back later that afternoon.
 
Having next to no food in the house, I had to go get something.
 
It made me sick to think that I no longer had to run over in my head what Sal might be in need of.
 
My entire body felt heavy as I loaded the two grocery bags into the back seat of the GTO.

The clouds had been building all day and as I parked in front of the bookstore they finally couldn’t hold anymore.
 
The rain felt oddly comforting.
 
Rain felt normal.

The bell on the front door sounded as I stepped inside.
 
Katlin was working the front counter.
 
I didn’t know her well since we worked alternating days.

“Hey,” she said with a bright smile.
 
“I thought you were still on your honeymoon?”

I tried to force a smile onto my face.
 
“We needed to come back a bit early.”

“Is everything okay?” she asked, her face growing concerned.
 
“You don’t look your best.”

That fake smile on my face faltered.
 
“I don’t exactly feel my best.
 
Is Rita here?” I changed the subject.

“She’s in her office,” Katlin said, pointing toward the back of the store.

Barely remembering to say a thank you over my shoulder, I made a bee-line toward the back.
 
As promised, I found Rita in the cramped, over-crowded closet of an office.
 
I gave two knocks on her open door, drawing her attention away from her daily log book.

“Jessica!” she said in surprise.
 
“Back already?”

I nodded, feeling everything inside of me squeeze.
 
It felt like my entire body wanted to cry.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, pulling her reading glasses off, her brows knitting together.

I shook my head, fighting back the sting behind my eyes.
 
“No.”

Rita cleared a stack of books off the chair in the corner of the office and eased me into it before closing the door.
 
“What’s the matter?” she asked, her voice ever caring and kind.

I took a deep breath and let it come out in one quivering note.
 
“You know the lady I help take care of?” I started.
 
“Sal?”

Rita nodded.

“She passed away yesterday morning,” my voice shook.
 
Rita’s face fell all the more.
 
“She had an aneurysm that burst.
 
The doctors said it had been there for a long time.
 
Emily called yesterday to let us know, so we flew home.”

“Oh sweetie,” Rita said as she pulled me into her thin arms.
 
“I’m so sorry.”

I nodded, hugging my sides tight underneath Rita’s embrace.
 
“There’s something else,” I breathed into her wildly curly red hair.
 
She sat back, her eyes focused on my face.

“Alex is sick,” I said.
 
It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it didn’t fully feel like a lie.
 
“I mean really, really sick.”

“Is he going to be okay?” she said with a small gasp.

I shook my head.
 
“He probably doesn’t have more than a few days left,” my voice cracked.
 
My eyes fell to my lap, my arms squeezing my sides all the tighter.
 
“I think…” I struggled to make my voice continue to work.
 
“I think I won’t be coming in anymore for a while.
 
I need to be with him.”

“Of course,” Rita said, her voice sounding light and airy, as if she was still trying to process everything I had just said.

“Will you be okay with the shop?” I asked, wiping my nose with the back of my sleeve.

“I’ll be alright, sweetie.
 
Austin is taking some time off with the surgery today but he’ll be back in a few days.”

“Surgery today?” I questioned, grateful that the conversation was moving in a different direction.

“His little sister and Emily?” Rita said, her eyes looking a bit confused.

“What does Emily have to do with any of it?” I asked, my own expression growing more confused by the second.

“She never told you?”

I shook my head.

“You know Austin’s little sister needed a new kidney.
 
Well, Emily talked to Austin about it, and just out of the blue volunteered to be tested to see if she was a match.
 
And she was,” Rita’s eyes shone with tears and mixes of joy and sadness.

“Emily is giving his sister her kidney?” I said, my voice rising in pitch slightly.

Rita nodded.
 
“The surgery is supposed to start in less than an hour.”

For the first time in what felt like a long time, something inside of me felt a little brighter.

Emily was going after redemption.
 
In a big way

I squeezed my eyes closed, and relished in the small smile that spread over my lips.
 
“She told me last night that she had plans with Austin today,” I chuckled.
 

Rita chuckled as well.

I opened my eyes again with a sigh.
 
“Well,” I said as I stood.
 
“I’d better be getting back home.
 
Amber is sitting with Alex.
 
I don’t want to leave them for too long.”

“Okay,” Rita said as she stood as well.
 
She pulled me into one more quick hug and walked me to the front door.
 
“Tell Alex that he is in my prayers,” Rita said as she watched me walk to my car.
 
“You are too, Jessica.
 
If you need anything, and I mean anything, don’t hesitate to give me a call.”

“Thanks,” I said with a sad smile, and slid into my car.

My cell phone rang as soon as I shut the door.
 
It was the funeral home and they gave me all the details, let me know that everything would be set in three days.
 
Sal’s attorney had let me know that according to Sal’s will she wanted to be cremated.
 
We could pick up Sal’s remains and have our own service Saturday.

The rain continued to come down as I made my way to the freeway.
 
I tried not to think about how I had lost a woman who felt equal parts best friend and foster child.
 
I tried not to think about how I might also be losing my husband just days later.
 

And I tried not to think about ways to lose myself should he be lost.

Instead I realized I hadn’t seen any traces of Jeremiah since the wedding.
 
This was almost alarming to realize that I had paid so little attention to that face.
 
Something felt off there.
 
Jeremiah didn’t seem the type to just let something like this go.

Amber seemed relieved when I entered the house.
 
She’d never been good at handling stressful situations and the whole angel thing had always freaked her out.
 
She practically ran out the door when I said she could go.

Alex shuffled around the kitchen, attempting to cook something with his unsteady hands in desperation to distract himself.

“Being babysat kinda’ sucks,” he said as he slid a sheet of chocolate chip cookies into the oven.

“Going to the afterlife kinda’ sucks,” I said as I joined him in the kitchen and wrapped my arms around his chest.
 
I was somewhat relieved that his wings were gone.
 
He felt slightly more solid.