Victory Lane (Shady Falls #1) (21 page)

He managed to eat all of his food and half of mine. We sat staring at the TV, legs and hips still touching, arms grazing every so often. He sat back, placed his arm across the back of the couch, and stretched his legs outward. I gingerly sat back, and tried to relax with him so close. I could lean into him and allow his warmth to wrap around me, but I didn’t. Again, I wished I had more experience in these situations. I wished I had the confidence to start a conversation with him or to try to be more secure in myself. I was careful not to touch him anymore than I already was. As the movie went on, I could feel him looking over at me, I could feel his arm graze the back of my head or his hand touch my hair and I wanted more. I just wanted to let go and forget my fears.

After the movie, he turned to me and smiled. “Ya wanna watch another? Or do you wanna do something else?”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, a little nervous.

“I thought we could just talk. I know about your family, but I don’t know much about you.”

Immediately my thoughts went to all of the bad. I’d basically shut down my life and turned into myself after the attack. I didn’t have a lot of friends and I definitely didn’t do anything worth talking about. I sat there and tried to think of something to say, but was drawing a blank. How do you tell a guy who literally lives his life at two hundred miles per hour that you were probably the most boring person on the planet?

“Didn’t we do this the last time we had dinner together?” I asked, trying to dodge the question.

He grinned at me. “As a matter of fact, we did. I told you we were gonna have dinner together again. I also told you that I was a patient man and would learn about you somehow.”

Damn, he was right. He did tell me we would have dinner again. That night was one of the best I’d had in a long time. And now, here I was again, sitting with him in a comfortable place, letting my guard down. Feeling things in my heart and head that I haven’t in a long time.

“How about this,” he said. “I’ll start. I began racing when I was twelve. I loved building go-carts and racing them at the dirt track in my town. That’s where I met Kyle. He lived in the town next to ours and he liked building and racing too. It didn’t take long before we realized we were a good team. We quickly became friends and have been working and racing together ever since.”

Okay, I can do this. This was the easy stuff. I could talk about Jake and Cade. I could talk about Mia.

“Alright. Well, I was under a car or on a motorcycle since the moment I could sit up. I would sit outside of our house or in my dad’s garage when he worked on cars and hand him tools. I would play with my own pretend plastic tools. My dad’s friend Fred had twin sons my age and he would come over to our house with the boys and work on cars with my dad while Cade, Jake, and I played. The earliest pictures of the three of us were from when I was a couple weeks and they were about six months old. I met my best friend Mia when we started school. We were in the same kindergarten class and made unlikely friends. She loved dolls and dress-up where as I spent all of my time with boys, so I liked riding bikes and playing in the dirt. We were instantly friends and have always been. She’s been there for me though the worst part of my life.” The moment the words were out of my mouth I regretted it because it confirmed there was a lot more to my story than I was letting on. I hated that my guard came down so much when I was around him. It frustrated me.

“I know what you mean; Ky was by my side through the worst part of my life too.” He paused and seemed far away for a moment. For the first time I could feel the deep sorrow and regret in him. I could sense he had experienced something terrible. But there was no way I would ever push. I wasn’t going to get him to tell me his past when I was refusing to tell him mine. His eyes found mine, the dark brown moved over my face, and when he smiled—his eyes smiled too. His eyes always lit up when he smiled at me. “But I guess that’s what makes lifelong friendships, right. They pull you back up when you fall.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, not taking my eyes off his. I could feel his sincerity and kindness. He was genuinely a good man; I could feel it deep in my gut. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. I wanted him to lean in and initiate the kiss I was so sure was going to happen before our dinner arrived.

Just then, the door to the suite opened and Kyle and Margie came in, talking and laughing. When they saw Julius and me sitting together, they directed their smiling toward us. They entered the living room and sat in the chairs surrounding the couch. Margie eyed me curiously as I tried not to look too uncomfortable. Her eyes traveled to her brother as she took in our proximity to one another. I could just see the wheels turning in her head as she soaked in the sight of us sitting together.

“What’re you two up to?” asked Margie, suggestion in her voice.

“Nothin’,” Julius said immediately. “We had dinner and were watchin’ a movie. How was your date night?”

“It was good. Nice restaurant, great food.” She paused then beamed, looking between Julius and me. “Jules, you should take Toni there before we go home.”

He smiled and looked at me. “I think that would be a great idea. What do you say, Toni? Wanna go to dinner with me Sunday night? Hopefully celebrate my win on Sunday afternoon.”

I looked between Margie and Julius, shocked. “Like … Like a-a date?”

Margie’s grin split her face, but Julius’ was much more serious. Like he was thinking about how to answer me so he wouldn’t hurt me. I knew I was stupid for asking. We were friends. He made it perfectly clear that he wanted a friendship and nothing more.

The look that crossed his face was playful and it totally freaked me out. “Would you have a problem calling it a date?”

I didn’t know what to say. The damn flock of psychotic butterflies were back, fluttering through my gut again. “You wanna go on a date? With me?”

“Sure, why not?” his response was immediate. “It would be fun.”

“But … but I thought we were friends.”

“Toni, we can be friends and go out on a date.”

“Oooh, it’ll be fun,” Margie said excitedly. “Tomorrow, we’ll go shopping and get you an outfit to wear.”

I didn’t know what to say. Sitting there with three sets of eyes on me, I decided going out to dinner with Julius would be no different from sitting in my apartment, or here eating with him. “Yeah, sure. But no need for shopping. I brought a few dresses with me this time.”

Margie frowned a little. “Fine. But I’ll help you with your hair and stuff.”

I relented to her, knowing it would be impossible not to. After we talked for a few more minutes, we all went our separate ways to our rooms. A part of me wanted more time with Julius alone, but at least I had Sunday after the race.

Chapter Fifteen

Julius

“Ya got a right rear going down, Jules. Ease it around and get to the pit before you lose it,” Tom said as I rounded turn three.

“Son of a bitch,” I growled out.

“We’re going to do four and fuel, Jules,” Kyle added.

“It’s still loose comin’ outta the turns,” I complained.

“We’ll do a chassis adjustment too, Julius. Don’t worry,” Toni said.

I’ve had all three of their voices invading my thoughts all damn day. We had such great runs for both the all-star race and the Duel; I thought for sure we had it today. But they always say racetracks are like living, breathing creatures. You can run great there one day, and then the next the track conditions can change making your car behave completely different from before. And that’s exactly what was happening to us today. The car was flawless, there was no reason we were having so many problems today, but here we were.

“Wave off the guys behind ya, and come down. You’ve got traffic coming up on your right, fast.”

The moment I went to wave to give the warning that I was pitting, the traffic coming up found me.

“Go low … go low … they’re coming high … Shit … Get control …”

Just as the pack came up on me, I lost control and the rear of the car fishtailed. I went into a spin, the car drifting up the track.

CRUNCH …

The car ricocheted hard off the wall several times before it came to stop when it hit the safer barrier. The hit was so hard it dazed me slightly. I sat there in silence for a moment, trying to shake myself out of my momentary stupor.

“Jules, you okay?” Kyle asked.

Several long moments passed. I knew I heard Ky calling out and asking if I was okay. I knew I needed to respond, but I was dazed.

“Jules, are you all right?” Toni’s concerned voice reverberated through my helmet. As much as I wanted to respond, I was having a hard time forming the words for a moment. I sat in silence trying to gather myself so I could answer.

“Dammit, Jules,” Kyle’s voice was filled with anxiety. His worry was what helped me to find my voice.

“Yeah … yeah, I’m good. What the hell happened?”

“Can you bring it in?” Tom asked.

“Yeah, I think I can drive it,” I said as I fought the car all the way down the track to go down pit row.

“Cut tire,” Tom said. “Plus from the replay it looks like the seventy-eight got into ya.”

“Fuck!” I growled to myself as I made my way slowly down the track toward pit row. I pulled into the pit stall, pissed about I was having such a bad day. I looked around and saw all of the guys out, hammering away at the car, trying to get it together enough to finish the race. What was worse, I noticed through all of the radio chatter, Toni hadn’t said a word since she called out and I didn’t answer. I looked up toward the crew chief tower and she was just sitting there, talking to someone, but not me.

“Toni, can it be fixed?” I asked. I just wanted to hear her voice because her radio silence worried me. I didn’t know what happened. She was probably so pissed that that she couldn’t talk.

“We’ll get you back out there, Julius. Don’t worry,” her voice came through, but it sounded strained.

The guys hammered out the wheel-well to get the new tire on. After three or four minutes of banging and hammering, four tires, a chassis adjustment, and fuel, I was back out on the track but several laps down. I was only able to maintain minimum speed, but I was finishing this damn race. Now it was more about getting points and finishing than it was about winning. Today’s chances were done.

~oOo~

When I pulled into the pit stall after the checkered flag flew, I didn’t see Toni anywhere. Kyle and the rest of the team were waiting, along with the media and Axel, but she wasn’t there.

“She was pretty upset,” Kyle whispered when he could clearly see me looking for her.

“Why? Because I wrecked?”

“Yeah, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”

Before I could even question what he meant, I was bombarded by several journalists that wanted to talk about the wreck, how I felt, and especially about my new female crew member.

“What are your feelings about having a woman sitting in with Kyle Redding, calling the shots? How do you think that factored into today’s wreck?” one of them said. His question pissed me off because it was as if they were already looking to blame her for my day.

“Antonia is an excellent crew member. She is incredibly knowledgeable and has brought a new life to our garage. She had no factor in today’s crash. That was a combination of bad luck and wrong place wrong time, and nothing more. The Icecore fifty-five team had a rough go today, but we’ll be back next week ready to race,” I growled. I was pissed that her gender was even being put into play. But these assholes just wanted their story. But they weren’t getting any stories from me.

I turned away from the reporters and toward Kyle. They continued to call out to me, but I made sure they understood I was done with them. The team was already pushing the car back to the garage area for inspection then to load it up and send it home. Kyle, Axel, and I walked behind the team. “What do you mean she was upset, but not for the reasons I was thinking?” I asked, pushing Kyle to finish what he was saying.

“After the wreck and you didn’t respond immediately, she was worried, we all were. She said she was just pissed that you got wrecked, but it seemed like there was more to it. She seemed worried about you and when you said you were okay, it was like she was barely holding herself together.”

“Where’d she go?”

“After you crossed the finish line, she went back to the garage and straight to the women’s locker rooms,” Axel said. “She just said that she didn’t want to have to talk to the media. They’ve been hounding her all day to talk, but Ky kept telling them she wasn’t talking during the race.”

“Well, if she said she was pissed about the car …” I started by Axel cut me off.

“She told Ky she was upset about the car. She told me she was upset about the media. The girl wasn’t concerned with either. She had one concern; it was clear in her behavior and in her eyes.”

Call me stupid, but I wasn’t getting what they were telling me. It seemed like she was pissed or worried about exactly what she was saying. “Why are you reading into her actions? If she said she was upset about the car, then she probably was.”

“You’re an asshole,” Ky said, frowning at me. “She could care less about the damn car. She was upset because she was worried about you. Now get your head outta your ass and go find her and see if she’s okay.”

I went toward the locker rooms and knocked on the women’s door to see if she was still there. When no one answered, I pushed the door open to see if she was hiding out in there. But instead of seeing her, I heard her voice echoing through the empty room.

“No, Mia. You don’t get it. I don’t think I can stay here. I don’t think I can do this anymore. It’s too freaking hard.”

She paused as if she was listening to someone speak to her. I kind of felt bad standing there and listening to her conversation, but curiosity got the better of me. This was the second time that I was eavesdropping on one of her conversations, but I didn’t care. She was so closed off, it was my only means of understanding what was going on in her head and heart.

“I know, but I don’t know if I can do this. After Todd …”

There was that name Todd again. The same name that she was begging to stop when she had her nightmare. She wasn’t leaving, she couldn’t.

“I know how long ago it was, Mia. I was freakin’ there, remember?” Another pause then she said, “But that’s the problem, I can’t watch him wreck again …”

Another pause, this one a little longer. I could hear the anguish in her voice. But her last words rang in my ears. She was worried about me, exactly as Ky and Axel said. Maybe there was more here than just friendship. I knew I was feeling it, but maybe this meant she was too.

I quickly closed the door and then knocked louder this time, trying to make sure she heard me. I heard her hang up with Mia and a few moments later, she stood in front of me in her normal tight jeans and t-shirt. Her hair was in a ponytail and she didn’t have any makeup on, but she was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever been around.

“Oh, hey Jules. What’s up? Are you okay?” she asked. Her eyes were red and she looked like she was exhausted.

“I’m fine, just a little dazed for a minute. Damn good thing we have such great safety equipment.” I paused for a moment, then continued talking, “I was wonderin’ where you were. You weren’t up there when I pulled in. I’m sorry I wrecked the car. Didn’t know if you were too pissed at me to still go to dinner.”

“I’m not pissed about the car. I’m pissed it wasn’t actin’ right today. But the wreck wasn’t your fault. If you don’t want to go, I understand. I’m sure you’re not feeling well …”

“Oh no, we’re goin’. I’m fine. No big deal.” I grabbed her hand and dragged her behind me. There was no way in hell I was letting her get out of this because she thought I was hurt or something. I pulled her down the hall to the conference room where we would have our final driver meeting for the day. Kyle usually came to these with me, he might even be waiting for me, but Toni was coming too. “Come on we need to go to the drivers’ meeting with Ax and Ky. Then we’ll go back to the house to get ready.”

We found Axel and Kyle standing outside of the conference room, waiting for us. Neither of them seemed at all surprised to see Toni attending the meeting with us. She sat between Ky and me and just seemed to take it all in. The first time I ever got to attend one of these meetings after finally starting my first Sprint Cup series race, I was so intimidated. Seeing all of those famous faces from the circuit, some of the best drivers and mechanics in world sat in that room, as they did today. But the most daunting thing was realizing I belonged there with them. I just hoped Toni realized she belonged there as well. The idea of her leaving for any reason was killing me. But I couldn’t let her know I was eavesdropping. I would just have to find a way to convince her that she belonged here, with me.

The meeting was uneventful. The same discussions and the same reprimands as normal. By the time we were released, I was chomping at the bit to get her alone with me for just a little while. I didn’t know when I decided it, but I finally realized that Anna’s betrayal wasn’t ruling my feelings quite as much as in the past. I would never be over losing her the way I did, but I think just maybe, I was finally ready to move on and see if there was a possibility of happiness with someone else. The funny thing about it, Toni was the exact opposite of what Anna was. Anna was a small town country girl. She loved to dress up and show off. She wore lots of makeup and short skirts and she knew nothing about cars or mechanics or racing. She loved being in the spotlight and making sure people noticed her. So how could I be attracted to a woman who was the polar opposite of what I once thought I wanted?

But then I realized Anna was all I really knew. I hated that she expected me to constantly give her things and take her places. She wouldn’t have been happy eating burgers and watching movies, she would have wanted the fancy restaurant. Toni was more my match. She enjoyed sitting and eating burgers much more than she seemed to like getting dressed up to go to a fancy restaurant. She was more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than short skirts and tight shirts. Toni was easy going and didn’t seem to stress about insignificant things, Anna worried about the stupidest things, and she apparently didn’t worry about me in the slightest. I hated thinking ill of the dead, but the more I thought about Anna, the more I realized she just wasn’t at all what I wanted then or now. Toni was so much more. But could she ever really want me?

~oOo~

Any questions about how I felt about Toni were answered the moment she walked out of her room and down the stairs. As soon as we returned to the house, Margie ushered her off to get ready while I did the same. When Toni walked into the living room, I was speechless. She was so striking; I couldn’t even form a coherent thought. Her long dark hair hung in waves over her shoulders and down her back. The dress she wore was black. It clung to her every curve, but didn’t reveal anything. It was asymmetrical, with only one arm sleeved, and the hem stopped just above her knee. She looked elegant, beautiful, and sexy as hell, but she didn’t reveal a thing. I found myself wondering how this girl could look as perfect in a fire suit and work boots as she does in this black dress and heels. The makeup on her face highlighted every perfect feature. I loved seeing her hair down and free instead of tied back as it usually was. I wanted to bury my hands in her long locks and breathe her in.

Ky let out a long whistle looking between his wife, who was in sweats and slippers, and Toni. “Holy hell, Toni. Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are.”

I scowled to myself. I knew Ky was no threat, but I hated that he complimented her before I had the chance.

“Well, Jules. What do you think?” Margie pushed. I stood there staring at the beautiful woman who had entered my life when I least expected it, and took away any sense of reasoning from me.