Until Lilly (12 page)

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Really?” She turns towards me, her eyes narrowing slightly.

“Okay
, I may have said that your car was a piece of shit.” I shrug and smile. Throwing my arm around her shoulders, I whisper into her ear, “Looks like you’re getting a new car, baby.”

“Um
, no, I’m getting a lawyer. I am not going to have enough money for a new car.”

“Okay
, first of all, you are going to be using my family’s lawyer, and second, I am paying for the car.”

“I don’t have the brain power to argue with you right now
, but when I do, I will let you know that you’re not buying me a new car. And as for the lawyer thing, if I can afford him, that’s fine. If not, I will have to look somewhere else.”

“What part of that didn’t you understand?” I ask
, pulling her to a stop and turning her towards me. I place my hands under her jaw, tilting her head back slightly. “I’m paying for the car.” I cover her mouth with mine before she has a chance to say anything. When I pull my mouth away, her lips are still close enough that they brush mine with each word I say. “You, our daughter, and occasionally Jax ride in that car. You three are the most important people in my life, and I will not have you riding around in a piece-of-shit car when I can easily get you something that is safe. And when the kids go to bed tonight, you’re going to explain to me why the fuck you didn’t call me when your car broke down. And you better come up with something better than you didn’t want to bother me at work, ‘cause as of right now, my palm is itching, and I plan on spanking you for that shit.”

“Cash
,” she says, her eyes heating as she licks her bottom lip.

“Jesus
, you want that, baby?” I ask, pulling her closer to me.

“We haven’t
—” she looks away without finishing, and I can’t help but groan when her cheeks turn pink.

“I’ve been trying to be good. Do you know how many times I’ve had to jerk off because of the state you’ve left me in?” I shake my head. “It’s too many to count.” I lean forward
, running my nose up the length of her neck to her ear, where I bite down gently on her earlobe. “I can’t wait to be inside you. I can’t wait to hear the sounds you make when you come. I can’t wait to feel you squeezing my cock. I remember how wet you were when my mouth was on you and my fingers were deep inside you. I can’t wait to feel that wet heat wrapped tight around me.”

“Lilly
,” I hear a man call and my head comes up. Lilly’s hands hold my t-shirt tightly in her fists. I look towards Lilly’s apartment, seeing the guy from the police station coming down the stairs.

“Who the fuck is this guy
, Lil?” I ask. Her eyes come to mine, and she blinks a few times like she’s trying to clear her head before she looks over her shoulder.

“That’s David
; we work together.”

“He’s a teacher?”

“Yeah, he teaches second grade.” She turns in his direction. “Hey, David.”

“I was so worried
, Lil. I didn’t know what to do,” he says, stepping closer and grabbing her hand. The fact that he used ‘Lil’ instead of Lilly and now has his hands on her is making me bite down on the inside of my cheek hard.
This is what Trevor was saying. Fuck me.

“It’s fine
, just a misunderstanding. Thank you for stopping by, but I will see you after the weekend,” she says, pulling her hand back to her side.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yeah, Cash is here, and we’re going to go get our kids.” My heart jumps at her words, and I want to pound my chest.

“Kids?” I see a slight flash of annoyance and anger cross his face before he hides it
, and then his eyebrows draw together in confusion.

“Well
, you’ve met Ashlyn,” she says and he nods, “and Cash has a son named Jax.”

“I see.” He looks at me
, then back at Lilly. “If you need anything, give me a call. Have a good weekend, and I will see you at school on Monday.” He steps forward, pulling Lilly in for a hug. Her body goes ridged and she pulls away quickly, putting a small fake smile on her face.

I watch as David gets into a newer Nissan
, and after he’s in the car, he sits and watches us for a second before starting it up and backing out of the parking lot.

“He only works with you?” I ask her
, because the look on the guy’s face when she told him that we were together was one of jealousy.

“Yes.” She pulls away and star
ts up the stairs to her apartment.

“Has he ever asked you out?”

“Once,” she mumbles before shoving the key in the lock and opening the door.

“Just once?” I
ask, because when she’s lying her words are always drawn out to sound more like a question than an answer.

“Okay
, fine, a couple of times.” We make our way back to her bedroom. She goes to the closet, pulling out a bag, and starts shoving clothes into it. I stand next to the bed, trying to think of something to say. My mind is turning over; I used to get jealous before when we first started dating, but it was nothing like the feeling I have right now.

“You said no
, right?” My fists clench at the thought of her seeing David—fuck, seeing
any
man who’s not me.

“Is that a real question?”

“Yes,” I say through my teeth, wondering why the fuck I’m doing this. I really don’t want to know, and I’m acting like Asher or Trevor with their territorial, over-protective asses.

“I have never gone out with him. We work together
, and he is kind of a friend.”

“How is he
‘kind of a friend’?”

“You know
, Cash, you’re starting to make me feel like you don’t trust me. I told you we never dated. I told you we work together, and I told you he is a friend. Now unless you want to give me a polygraph, you’re going to have to take my word for it.”

“I hate knowing that you called him instead of me
,” I tell her the truth.

“I never called him.” She shakes her head and looks at me like I’m crazy. “We left the school at the same time
; he was parked next to me, and when my car wouldn’t start, he offered to give me a ride home. I knew your mom had Ashlyn, so I was planning on coming home, changing, and calling you, that way you could take me to my car later and look at it. But when I got home, the police were here waiting for me, so that kind of ruined all of my plans.”

“Will you promise me not to go anywhere alone with that guy?” This is not about me being a jealous asshole
…okay, maybe it is a little bit…but there is something about him that sets my teeth on edge.

“Cash.” She shakes her head.

“Baby, it’s not that I don’t trust you.” Her eyes narrow, making her look adorable. My hands go under her jaw, titling her head back. “Something about him doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Is it because he has a penis?”
she taunts. I smile and lean in to kiss her.

“No
, smart ass, it’s not because he has a penis,” I say against her mouth.

“Cash,”
she says softly; my eyes go from her mouth to her eyes. “He has been nothing but nice. Just, please, trust me.”

“I do trust you
,” I tell her honestly. Not only do I trust her, I love her. Maybe Trevor is right in a fucked-up kind of way, and I need to tell her that I love her…put it out there.

“So
just know that I will not put myself in a situation that something could happen to me,” she says, running a hand through my hair. My eyes close when her soft hand travels down my neck and up my jaw.

“Do you know that I love you?” I ask as my eyes open
, looking into hers. I hear her quick inhale and she shakes her head, her eyes searching my face. “I never stopped loving you. I didn’t know how much of the old you was in this newer version,” I smirk, “but I found out that I love the new you just as much, if not more. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” I pull her against me, resting my cheek on top of her head.

“I love you to
o,” she says, making me smile and feel lighter than I’ve felt for the last two months—hell, the last few years.

Chapter 5

Lilly

I look down at my lap
. Cash’s large hand is entwined with mine, his thumb moving slowly back and forth against my skin. The roughness and strength in his hand makes mine feel small and delicate. I can’t believe he told me he loves me. I knew it would come eventually. He shows me every day that he cares not only for Ashlyn, but for me as well. I have finally accepted that he is not going anywhere. Part of me is still hurt that he walked away from me when I needed him, but the other part understands why he did what he did. I would do anything for my daughter, just like he did for his son. “I think you should meet my parents,” I say, looking over at him. His eyes come to me for a second before going back to the road.

“Sure, we can go during your next school break.” He squeezes my hand before
bringing it to his mouth and kissing my knuckles.

“I won’t have another break for a few months.” I try to think of a way to have my parents come out here
, but right now, getting out of Alaska is like trying to get out of Alcatraz—nearly impossible. The only way in or out of the place I grew up is by boat or plane, and when the weather is bad like it has been, there is no way. “I was going to Skype my mom tonight so she could talk to Ashlyn. You can meet her then.”

“What’s Skype?” I look over in shock
. Who in the world doesn’t know what Skype is?

“You’re joking
, right?”

“No.” He shakes his head.

“Skype is only the best invention ever. You use your computer and the other person uses theirs and you call them then they are sitting there in front of you.”

“Like teleporting?”
he asks and I burst out laughing.

“No
, I'm explaining it badly. You see them on the computer like a live video feed. I got my mom hooked when I was home. Her sister lives in Hawaii and they hadn’t seen each other for over four years. Then my aunt was on Facebook one day telling everyone that she got Skype. My mom, who had become addicted to Facebook because of my aunt, wanted to know what Skype was so I took her and got her a camera to hook up to her computer. Now during the winter, when Mom’s stuck inside because there is normally ten-feet of snow outside, she Skypes with my aunt. They also they play all those annoying Facebook games and send everyone they know invites.” I take a deep breath when I'm done talking and he looks over at me and smiles.

“I don’t know what that is. I don’t have Facebook.” 

“You don’t have Facebook?”  I gasp. “How in the world do you know what’s going on with your friends if you don’t have Facebook?”

“I call them and say
‘hey, what’s going on? How are things? Anything new?’”

“Oh
, yeah, I guess you could do that.” He squeezes my hand and chuckles.

“So
, you want me to meet your mom over Skype? I'm not sure if I'm ready for such a serious step in our relationship.”

“Very funny.” I roll my eyes. “I’ll see if she can get my dad to sit down long enough to meet you as well.” I notice him shifting in his seat and squeez
ing my hand a little tighter. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah
, I mean, I'm sure your dad hates me.” I want to say, ‘no, of course he doesn’t hate you,” but that would be a big fat lie. I’m Daddy’s little girl, have been and will always be. When I came home with Ashlyn, my parents fell in love with her and couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want her.

“My parents know that you didn’t send those text
s,” I say gently.

“I know.” He takes a deep breath. “I'm sure they don’t believe that.”

“My mom thinks your ex sent them.”

“She’s the only person who could have
,” he says, and I can feel my pulse speed up. I have never hated anyone in my life, but what I feel for her is close.

“Well
, I know once my dad gets to know you, he will love you,” I tell him. He is honestly my dad’s dream-son, and I hope he gives him a chance.

“I'm sure it will be fine
,” he says, and my stomach flips, wondering if this is a huge mistake.

*~*~*

“Honey
, you have to move that out of the way, at least until I can get the camera turned on,” I hear my mom say. I look over at Cash, who is sitting next to me at his dining table. The computer is in front of us, the screen black, but we can both hear my parents arguing back and forth. Cash smiles, and I laugh when I hear my mom yell to get the damn thing out of her face. Finally, the screen turns on, and I see my mom sit down hard in her chair and glare off camera.

“Hi
, Mom.”

“Hey
, honey.” My mom smiles then looks over at Cash, and her eyes get big before coming back to me. “Well, at least he’s hot, even if he is a prick.”

“Mom
,” I snap.

“Oh
, please, now I see why you went all gaga over him.” She waves her hand back and forth, and then I see a shadow over her right shoulder before my dad sits down next to her in one of their kitchen chairs. I suck my lips into my mouth, trying not to bust out laughing. My dad is wearing his hunting gear. His short hair is slicked away from his face, and under his eyes are black smudges of paint. He also has his shotgun out and his hunting knife in a knife holster under his arm.

“Hi
, Dad.” I give a slight giggle. He glares at me, looks over at Cash, and I look over at Cash as well. His face is slightly red and he looks like he is trying not to laugh. “Dad, Mom, this is Cash. Cash, these are my parents, Frank and Tina Donovan,” I say.

“Nice to meet you
, sir and ma’am.” He nods at both my parents, and we can hear my mom mumble something under her breath about manners and good looks.

“Dad
, why are you wearing that?”

“Well
, I thought that I should let this young man here know that I was a Seal. I know how to go into places and get out unnoticed. I know how to kill someone before they even know I'm there. And I know how to—”

“Yeah, yeah
, I know, but what does that have to do with your hunting gear?

“He can’t fit into his uniform
,” my mom chimes in. “Trust me, honey, he tried. Even tried to have me button him up, and it was still a no-go.” My mom shakes her head, and then smiles when my dad turns to look at her and glare.

“Woman
, I told you to stop baking all the damn time.”

“Oh
, stop. Don’t blame your weight on my baking.”

“Mom, Dad
...” I sigh.

“Fine
,” my dad says, still looking at my mom. “Know that you’re going to pay for that later,” he says quietly, making my mom blush.

“Gross
, can you both please act like normal parents for five minutes?” I shake my head.

“Memaw
!” Ashlyn shrieks climbing onto Cash’s lap and waving into the camera.

“Hey
, baby.” My mom sits forward, smiling.

“Papa,
look! My daddy’s here!” Ashlyn looks at my dad then leans back, looking up at Cash. He leans forward, kissing her forehead.

“I see that
, angel.” Dad’s face transforms into a smile. Ashlyn looks away from Cash, back to the computer.

“Oh wait
! You hab to meet my brother!” Ashlyn squeals, climbing down from Cash’s lap. I can hear her in the other room yelling for Jax to come meet her Memaw and Papa. Cash and I look at each other and laugh. Cash slips his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I feel his lips at my temple, and then Jax and Ashlyn are running into the room. Ashlyn climbs back onto Cash’s lap, and Jax looks at me for a second, seeming unsure. I hold out my arms and he smiles before jumping up to sit on my lap.

“Fuck me
,” my dad says, looking between Jax and Ashlyn.

“Dad
dy!” I scold, covering Jax’s ears. Jax starts laughing, and then Ashlyn joins him. I look at both of them and shake my head. “Do not repeat what you just heard.”

“They could be twins
,” my mom says, and I look up from the kids’ smiling faces to see tears in my mom’s eyes.  “Nice to meet you, Jax. You can call me Memaw or Grandma,” my mom says, “and you can call this guy here Papa or Grandpa.” She points to my dad.

“Hi
,” Jax says, giving a small wave before leaning back into me. I wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head. We have gotten closer over the last couple months, but it’s rare that he will cuddle. Just like Ashlyn, he likes to be off running around creating havoc and chaos.

“So how are you
, angel?” my dad asks Ashlyn, who is cuddled back into Cash.

“Good
! Daddy says I can get a dog,” she says randomly, and I look over at Cash and glare.

“I didn’t say it was going to happen today.” He looks a little sheepish
.

“I want a dog
,” Jax says, leaning back to look up at me.

“Um…I…
well, one day.”

“Do you think that
Spike will like having a dog?” he asks. I know, I know…I kinda ended up liking Spike; he’s cute. But I wonder if dogs eat ferrets.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t want Spike to get hurt,” Ashlyn says.

“Who’s Spike?”
my dad asks.

“My
ferret,” Jax says, looking over at Ashlyn. “We should go get him.” Ashlyn nods before they both jump off our laps, running to the back of the house where the bedrooms are.

“Seems you two
have your hands full and a good reason for birth control,” my mom says, and I laugh.

“Yeah
, but they are both really good kids,” I say, leaning into Cash.

“So
, what are your intentions with my daughter?”

“
Dad!”

“Don’t you
‘Dad’ me; I want to know what his plans are.”

“Well
, I would like Lil and Ashlyn to move in with me—” Cash starts to say something else, but my dad cuts him off.

“So you want to get the milk
for free?” my dad asks with narrowed eyes, and Cash looks confused.

“Sorry
, I'm not following.”

“You know
, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? You want my daughter and granddaughter to live with you, and you don’t want to marry her.

“No disrespect
, sir, but that is something that I will be discussing with Lilly first before anyone else. And when the time’s right, I will come to you like a man and ask for your permission, not that it will change my mind about asking her,” Cash says, and my dad’s eyes flash, not with anger, but approval, and my tummy flips.
Cash said when the time was right, he would ask me to marry him. Oh, my God.

“Well
, I know what Lilly has told us about your situation and what happened in the past,” my dad says looking at me, his eyes going soft. “She believes you, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but just remember what I said earlier about being a Seal.”

“You’re not a
Seal; you’re a Papa Bear.” Ashlyn laughs, climbs into my lap, and Dad smiles. I look over at Jax, who has Spike in his arms as Cash picks him up to sit on his lap.

“This is Spike
,” Jax says, holding the ferret out in one hand, his long body swinging back and forth.

“Isn’t he cute
, Memaw?” Ashlyn cries, looking at my mom.

“He is something.” My mom makes an
eeek-face at me, then smiles at Jax.

“So
, has anything new happened?” my mom asks, and I want to tell her about what happened today with the police, but I don’t want her to worry about it. I know the cop said he believed me, so I just hope he finds who really did this and clears my name.

“Nope
, nothing new at all.” Cash squeezes my shoulder. I smile, and my mom’s eyes narrow on me.
Dammit, I need to work on becoming a better liar.

“So
, Lilly says you do construction,” Dad asks Cash, and they start talking about Cash’s job, then about hunting and fishing, and my eyes start to feel heavy.

“All right
, love bug, you need to go get ready for bed,” I tell Ashlyn, and she sighs loudly.

“Bye
, Memaw. Bye, Papa.” She blows them each a kiss before getting down and walking into the bathroom.

“You too
, little dude,” Cash tells Jax, who waves bye to my parents.

“Love you
, Mom and Dad,” I say, leaning towards the camera.

“Love you to
o, honey. If you need to come home, you just say the word,” my mom says, and I feel Cash’s arm go tight around me.

“We
’re good, Mom. I promise,” I tell her, giving her a genuine smile.

“Al
l right, it was nice meeting you, son. You take care of my girls,” Dad says, looking at Cash, and then his eyes come to me. “Love you.”