Until Lilly (14 page)

“Hey
, I was doing that.” I pout, feeling like he just stole my candy.

“I know
, baby, but with your hands on me, I can’t control myself, and I didn’t bring a condom in here.”

“Oh
,” I say, looking him over, my hands tingling with need to touch him.

“You need to get on birth control
,” he says, and my eyes go to his.

“I'm on birth control. I got on it after Ashlyn was born
because my cycle went all wonky,” I say, and I can feel my eyebrows pull together.

“You are?”

“Yes. But that doesn’t protect against other things.” 

“I haven’t been with anyone else
, Lil, not since long before my divorce. Even when I was married, I used a condom.”

My stomach roll
s, and I hide my face with my wet hair. “Oh.” I bite the inside of my cheek. I hate that he was married. I hate that I forget about it all the time, and then something reminds me that this hasn’t always been mine.

“Hey
, what’s going on in there?” he says, tapping my forehead.

“I just hate
it so much. Can we not talk about you sleeping with her? Like, ever?” I say, feeling like I want to cry.

“I hate it to
o.” He nods, pulling me into him. “We can use protection until you feel ready not to, okay?” He rubs his hands down my back. “I'm clean. I get tested every year with my physical for insurance.” His body stills, then he pulls me away from him. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you?” His jaw clenches. “I mean, have you been tested lately?”

I shake my head.
“Cash, you’re the only person I’ve ever slept with. Before a few minutes ago, the one time we did it, when I gave you my virginity, was the only time I’ve ever made love. I was too concerned with Ashlyn. I didn’t have time to date…or even really want to.”

He looks at me with a mixture of shock and awe. “I’m so happy I’m the only one you’ve ever been with. I don’t think I would be able to handle it as gracefully as you do, knowing I’ve been with others,” he says gently. 
I lay my forehead against his chest. “I don’t mind not using condoms. I mean, I got pregnant with Ashlyn when we used a condom before.”

“Yeah
, and the same thing happened with—” he starts to say her name but stops, and his arms around me tighten so much that the air rushes out of my lungs.

“What’s wrong?” I say when I'm able to take a breath.

“Nothing, baby, let’s get out,” he says abruptly, turning away from me to turn off the water and get out of the shower, pulling a towel down from the shelve and wrapping it around me before getting one for himself.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m good. You’re here; my kids are here. I couldn’t be better.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and I want to ask again but know it will be pointless, so I just sigh and let it drop. Once we’re back in the bedroom, I start to pull out one of his shirts from the dresser. I squeak when he picks me up, carrying me to the bed and tossing me onto the mattress before ripping my towel from my body.

“What are you doing?” I don’t know why I ask
; I can tell by the look in his eyes exactly what he has planned.

“I'm going to explore you.” He smiles
, climbing up the bed.

“Oh
,” I breathe when I feel his hands at my feet start to move up my legs.

“Yeah
, I missed you. I missed the way you laugh.” He pulls my leg up, kissing the inside of knee. “I missed your smell.” He pulls my other leg up, kissing that knee as well. “I missed your touch.” He runs his hands up the tops of my thighs. “I missed the way we could talk for hours about nothing and everything.” His hands go to my stomach, then up my rib cage. “I missed your kisses.” His knees spread my legs wider. “I missed your mouth.” He leans forward, his mouth landing on mine. “I love you, and I'm so glad I have a second chance,” he whispers against my lips, his forehead touching mine before sliding back inside me. And for the rest of the night, we make love, touch, talk, and share. He explores me and lets me return the favor. When I close my eyes to go to sleep, my body is tucked tight next to his, my head on his shoulder, my leg between his, and his arm wrapped around my waist. I love him, and I’m happy to have a second chance too.

Chapter 6

Cash

“Shit.” I run across the kitchen into the living room when I see Spike is making a run for it. I grab him just as he starts to get behind the entertainment stand. “Jax
,” I call down the hall towards his room where he and Ashlyn are playing, waiting for breakfast.

“Yeah
, Dad?” he yells back, and I shake my head. I really must have worn my woman out if she’s sleeping though this craziness. I smile and feel my dick jump knowing she’s in my bed with only my t-shirt on, my marks all over her body. Damn, I love my kids, but right now, I want them gone
. If they were older, I would give them keys to the car and a wad of cash to get them out of the house
, I think as I walk down the hall towards the bedroom.

“Hey
, when I call you, you come to me; don’t yell. Got it?” I ask as soon as I enter the room and make eye contact with my son.

“Yes
, Dad,” he grumbles, looking at Spike in my hands, then over to Spike’s cage that is now hanging open. “Oh, he got out.”

“Yeah
, he got out,” I say, handing him the damn ferret. “You need to make sure you lock that up when you’re not playing with him.” I point to the cage.

“Sorry
,” he says, looking at me before going over and putting Spike away.

“Daddy
, I'm hungry.” Jesus, I love hearing her call me Daddy. I look down at my daughter.

“I'm making breakfast now
, beautiful.” I run my hand over her soft hair.

“Okay
,” she sighs before picking up her doll, sitting down on the ground, and brushing its hair.

“I’ll call you two when breakfast is ready
,” I tell both of them and ruffle Jax’s hair before leaving the room. I was nervous about him taking to Ashlyn and Lilly, but he has been awesome, and there haven’t really been any jealousy issues. I wonder if that’s because of how much Jax has taken to Lil; there are times when he seems unsure, but she is always affectionate with both of the kids. I walk back into the kitchen and finish putting the stuff together for making pancakes…well, I add water to the mix. I’m getting ready to start putting pancakes on the griddle when out of the corner of my eye I see Lilly come around the corner, looking adorably sleepy. Her hair is up on the top of her head, her face rumpled with sleep. She still had my t-shirt on, but I can see she’s put on a pair of sleep shorts underneath. We both just stand staring at each other. All I can think is that I want this every day, and I would kill to have it. I watch fascinated as her hand goes to her neck and her cheeks turn a light pink. I know she has seen the marks I left on her. I couldn’t help it; she makes me crazy, and I want her to always know that she belongs to me. My eyes drop to her mouth, then to her breasts. I can see the tips of her nipples through my shirt. When my eyes make it back to hers, the pink of her cheeks have darkened. “Hi,” she says quietly.

“Come here.” I h
old out my hand. She looks at it for a second before taking a step towards me.

“Um.
..where are the kids?” She starts to look around, but before she has a chance to take her eyes off me, I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her closer so her body is fully against mine.

“The kids are playing.” I wrap my other arm around her waist
, dragging up the back of my tee so I can run my fingers along her skin. “How are you feeling?” I ask, leaning down to press my mouth to hers.

“O
-okay.” Her stuttered word is said against my lips. I smile, pulling her closer, my face going into her neck, and her subtle smell of lavender makes me groan.

“Are you sore?” I ask against her ear before licking her lobe and pulling it between my lips.
“Or can you still feel me here?” I run my hand down her back, over her ass and in-between her legs from behind. She gives a soft moan and I lean back so I can see her face when she answers me.

“I’m okay.” I can feel her hand on my arm tighten
, and the nails of her other hand sink into the skin of my side. My fingers that are resting between her legs flex, and she comes up on her tiptoes. “The kids,” she says as her mouth comes to mine. I put my mouth on hers, licking her lips, making her open up for me. I love the way she tastes. And I love that she gives just as good as she gets. Her tongue chases mine. I feel a rumble start up my chest, and I know I need to stop this before it gets out of hand and I put her on the counter, spreading her out. I reluctantly pull my mouth away from hers, shoving my face into her neck, trying to get my control back.

“You want coffee?” I ask into her
hair, not moving my hands from her neck or her pussy.

“Yes
,” she hisses out, and I know she’s not saying yes to coffee, but to the feel of my hand. I can feel her heat through the thin material of her shorts, and I fight with myself about sliding my hand up the leg of her shorts so I can feel how wet she is.

“Come sit with me while I make breakfast.” I remove my hand from between her legs
, moving her so that her back is to the counter where I can easily pick her up, setting her next to the stove. I move around, getting her a cup of coffee before coming back to her. “How did you sleep?” I ask, handing her the cup of coffee and stealing a quick kiss.

“Really
well.” She smiles, tilting her head to the side like she’s studying me. “How did
you
sleep?” 

“Better than I have in years. I like knowing that my family is all under one roof. I like waking up to the feel of you tucked in next to me.” I watch her face turn soft
, and I can’t help but kiss her again. “Do you feel up to going to look at cars today?” I ask, pouring pancake batter onto the griddle.

“Cash.” The way she says my name is like a full conversation
; she doesn’t even have to say anything else, and I already know exactly what she is thinking.

“Okay
, that came out wrong,” I say and look over at her. “It sounded like a question, and it wasn’t. We’re going to go look at cars today.”

“I knew it
,” I hear her say under her breath, and I chuckle.

“Babe
, you’re not driving that piece-of-shit anymore; it’s not safe or reliable.”  I pull out a spatula from the drawer and start to flip the pancakes. “Honestly, I’m surprised I lasted this long. I was thinking about slashing your tires; I hate that fucking car.

“Fine
, I know I need a new car. I will just use some of my rainy day money for a down payment.”

“Were you not here when we had this conversation before? I know I told you I'm buying you a new car.”

“Cash,” she says again, then shakes her head, “I need to help.”

“Lil
, you have done more than your fair share over the last few years.”

“You can’t just come in and take over
, Cash.”

“I'm not taking over
, but if there is a way that I can make things easier for you and Ashlyn, then I'm going to do it.” I watch as she rolls her eyes before taking a sip of coffee. “That’s one.”

“What
?” she asks, looking confused.

“One spanking for rolling your eyes.”

“You do know that I'm a grown woman, right?”

“And?”

“And you can’t threaten me with spankings.”

“First
, it’s not a threat. Second, I can see that you want it. Every time I tell you that I'm going to spank you, your eyes light up and you wiggle around.”

“I do not
,” she huffs out, wiggling on the counter, making me laugh as she glares.

“Breakfast is ready
,” I yell down the hall a few seconds later. I hear the kids’ feet pounding down the wooden floor before coming around the corner into the kitchen.

“Yay
, pancakes!” Jax yells.

“Yippieee
! Can I have chocolate chips in mine?” Ashlyn asks, and Jax looks at her like she’s a genius.

“And mine
,” he says, climbing up onto one of the stools.

“Sorry
, guys, we don’t have any, but we can get some for next weekend,” I say, putting pancakes on plates for both of the kids. Lilly jumps down from the counter, goes to the fridge, and pulls out orange juice, pouring it into two plastic cups and setting it in front of each of them. Then she takes a banana and cuts it in half, putting a section on each of their plates before doing the same with an orange.

“What?”
she asks when she catches me watching her closely. She is such a good mom. Last night in the shower, when she brought up the fact that we had used a condom when she got pregnant with Ashlyn, got me thinking. What are the chances that I could have used protection with two different women and gotten them both pregnant? That shit is as unlikely as winning the lottery. And as much as it pisses me off that it happened, and that Jules is most likely behind that shit, I have a hard time being pissed about it. Or at least being pissed at the situation. If Lil didn’t get pregnant, Ashlyn wouldn’t be here. Lil would probably be married to some dude, having his kids, and I would have never heard from her again. She would have been the one who got away.

“Nothing.” I pull my eyes off her
, adding more pancakes to the griddle before pulling down a plate for the two of us.

“Can we go to the
zoo?” Ashlyn asks, and I throw my head back laughing; she always wants to go to the zoo.

“Not today
. Today we’re going shopping for a new car for your mom.”

“Oh.” She pouts before shoving more food into her mouth. Just then
, the doorbell starts to go off. I look over at Lilly and she shrugs. I’m not expecting anyone. Even before I make it to the door, I can hear kids yelling and people talking. “Shit,” I mutter to myself, unlocking the door.

“Took you long enough
,” Trevor complains, shoving his way inside.

“What the hell are y
’all doing here?” I watch as every person in my family files into my house.

“Put a damn shirt on.” Asher shove
s past me, covering November’s eyes, making her and I laugh.

“You know this is my house
, right? And it’s a Saturday,” I tell him, locking the door behind Nico after he comes inside.

“Yeah
, but we thought that we could all plan something to do for the day,” Trevor explains, going into the kitchen. I see Lilly’s eyes get big; she’s standing behind the counter, pulling at the hem of my shirt.

“I’m sorry
, you guys. I’ll be right back,” she says, running off. I groan; I don’t want this. I want to have a relaxing day with my woman and kids.

“Can ya’ll watch the little ones while I go get dressed?” I don’t even look at my brothers
; I look at Liz and November when I ask my question.

“Sure,” November says
, and Liz nods. I make my way into my bedroom just in time to see Lilly taking my shirt off and a bra in her hand. She jumps when she hears the door close behind me.

“Do you think you may have gone a wee bit overboard?”
she asks, holding her arms out to the side but gesturing with her hands to all the marks I left on her.

“Nope.” I bite my lip
, looking her over. Yeah, okay, it may have been overkill, but fuck if I care. If anyone were to get her clothes off, they would know that she is taken.

“It’s a good thing it
’s cold and I can wear sweaters and jeans,” she mumbles under her breath, putting on her bra. When she pulls down her shorts, her eyes meet mine. “It looks like I got attacked even between—” she starts to say between her legs, but points instead.

“I would say I'm sorry
, but I would be lying.” I walk over to the dresser, grabbing a shirt and a pair of jeans. I toss the shirt on the bed, kick off my sweats, and step into my jeans, making sure to tuck myself in so I don’t zip my dick—that shit is never fun. When my head comes up, Lilly is watching me closely. “Are you okay?”

“You’re not going to wear underwear?”

“No, for what?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs
, looking at the piece of satin in her hand.

“Don’t even think about it
,” I groan, seeing her intentions.

“What?”

“Put them on.”

“Why
? If you can—” I cut her off, pulling her close and putting my mouth on hers.

“As it stands right now
, I'm going to have a hard enough time being around you today. If I know you’re not wearing underwear, that is going to do me in. And you’re likely to end up bent over in every small room with a little bit of privacy that we come across,” I tell her, biting down on her bottom lip before licking it. Her mouth forms an O before she gets a small devious smile on her face.  “Shit.” I press my now-hard cock into her belly. “Don’t fuck with me, baby.” I wrap my arms around her, hugging her before kissing the top of her head. “Let’s go see what everyone is up to, then figure out a way to ditch them,” I say, kissing her once more on the mouth before stepping away and putting on my shirt.