Until Alex (31 page)

My heart leaped to my throat as I threw my body in front of her, shielding her from the gun. From Remy.

I glanced over my shoulder. He hadn’t lowered the gun. Darkness clouded his eyes as he stared across the room at me. God, I knew what he was capable of. I wrapped my arms tightly around Alex, like it could somehow protect us from his insanity.

Burying my nose in her hair, I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer to whoever might be listening.
Please don’t let him do this
.

“You were my family, Hayden.”

Oh, God.
I squeezed my eyes tighter, braced for the bullet.

“You were the only person I ever trusted.”

Maybe if he saw my face, he’d be unable to do it. I lifted my head and looked up at him.

Something flashed in his heartless eyes. It wasn’t anger, more like understanding. Understanding that I’d do anything to protect the girl beneath me. This wasn’t about him anymore. He no longer had my unyielding loyalty. He’d lost that all on his own.

He lifted the gun to the side of his head and pressed it into his temple.

I sucked in a breath.

“Now I don’t even have you.”

Behind him, the living room door opened. Cops in swat gear with guns drawn inched their way in. But they were too late.

Remy’s finger squeezed the trigger.

The fatal shot echoed throughout the house stilling everyone. This time, I prepared myself. This time I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have the vision forever etched in my mind, replaying in my nightmares.

And there
would
be nightmares.

Because I knew the truth.

This happened to Alex because of me.

I didn’t even bother looking when the cops and medics surrounded Remy’s body. I untied Alex’s arms and lifted her lifeless body. EMTs rushed in and led me to the stretcher in the driveway. I placed her down and followed them into the back of the ambulance.

They hooked her up to IV’s, pumping her full of fluids while treating her external wounds. She looked so small. So swollen. So broken. I gripped her cold hand and didn’t let go.

I wouldn’t.

No one would take my beautiful girl away from me.

Never
again.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

HAYDEN

Sitting beside Alex’s hospital bed, grasping her frail hand for dear life,
was the worst type of déjà vu. I glanced around the room. The red and orange glow outside the window signified the end of another day. Another day of speaking to her and getting no response. Another day of hoping her dreams weren’t nightmares. Another day of longing to hear her laugh.

She’d been unconscious for three days, after being gone for four. It had been a full week since I’d seen her smile. Since I heard her voice. Since I breathed normally.

Katherine begged me to take a break. And I would. When Alex woke up.

Sometimes h
er eyelashes fluttered like a hummingbird—which the doctor assured us was a good sign. But she hadn’t opened her eyes.

I lifted her frail hand to my lips and pressed softly. “I love you so much. All the way down to my bones.”

Katherine and I had been taking shifts talking to her. Even when it wasn’t my turn, I slept in a chair in the corner of the room in case she woke up. I meant it. I’d never leave her side again.

Katherine had just run home to shower. So I had Alex all to myself.

“So, I’ve been thinking about something pretty important…how I’ll propose. Before you say it, I know what you’re thinking. We’re too young. But I didn’t mean next week. I meant I
will
propose someday and you
will
say yes.”

Steering clear of her face, I leaned in and kissed the top of her head gently, not wanting to disturb her breaks and bruises. “I swear to you, I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

I thought I knew nightmares, but nothing compared to the uncertainty surrounding Alex’s disappearance. Four days of not knowing where she was, what she was enduring, or if she was even alive, proved to be my worst nightmare.

Now that I had her back, had her within reach, I knew what I wanted. And I’d be damned if I didn’t get it. I wasn’t scared anymore. I wanted her to know how I felt. What I thought. What I wanted. Frankly, I just needed her to wake up so I could tell her to her face.

“And by the way, I want kids. Lots of them. Like a whole soccer team of them running around with their mother’s brown hair and green eyes.”

I pressed my lips to her hand, keeping my eyes from venturing to the darkened rope burns around her wrists. “And they better have my dimples. Girls love the dimples.”

I could hardly look at her swollen and discolored face without breaking down. It took every ounce of strength I had to sit there and talk to her like the whole situation wasn’t my fault. From Taylor to Remy, none of it would have happened if she hadn’t met me. If I hadn’t approached her.

Maybe she wouldn’t even want anything to do with me when she woke up. Maybe she couldn’t forgive me. Maybe I caused her too much grief. Too much pain. Too much sorrow. Like Remy had for me.

The waterworks began yet again. I couldn’t control them. I was consumed by guilt. Consumed by anger. Consumed by the fear of what she must think of me. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Alex. I’m
so
damn sorry.”

I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. How could Remy ever put a hand to her? Keep her tied up? Starve her? The thoughts were too inconceivable. I always believed him to be a threat to our happiness, always having such a strong hold over me. But never could I have imagined he’d do something so sadistic to the girl I loved.

Alex’s hand twitched in mine.

My head shot up.

I leaned in closer, still grasping her hand like I’d ceased to exist without it. “Alex. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her eyelashes fluttered.

“Open those pretty eyes. Let me see them.”

Her doctor said dreams caused the eye movement. I hoped whatever she dreamt about was peaceful. Like a vision of her parents. Not a nightmare about Remy. She already lived that.

I exhaled a disappointed breath. I knew I needed to be patient, but patience sucked.

“Okay, so I know you’re probably sick of this story, but it’s the best one I’ve got. Besides, you
are
the one who’s always fishing.” I pressed my lips to her hand for a long moment wishing she’d just put me out of my misery and wake up.

A giant multi-colored balloon embossed with
Get Well
shifted below the air vent as I thought back to the first day we met.

“It was late August when the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen stepped into my life. She was this little thing driving a killer car and carrying a huge suitcase. Even back then, I knew she was out of my league. So I waited four long days before I worked up the nerve to talk to her.”

I kissed her hand again, but when I looked back to her face, her lashes had stopped fluttering.

My shoulders dropped on a sigh.
But I wouldn’t give up. Not when she needed me.

“I know what you’re thinking. How could I, God’s gift to women, be nervous to talk to a girl? But I was. I was terrified. She wasn’t like the others. She was sweet and innocent and sad. So damn sad. And don’t ask me why, but I wanted to make it all stop. I needed to.”

I ran my free hand through my hair, trying like hell not to focus on the bruises and swelling covering her face. 

“When I finally talked to her, she blew my mind. She was exactly what I’d been waiting for. Beautiful, funny, sarcastic, stubborn. So stubborn. And even though I fought to keep her away, she wouldn’t let me. She wormed her way into my life. My head. My heart. Eventually, I had to stop fighting it. And when I did, when I let her in, let her know my demons, I knew I’d found my match. My perfect match.”

Tears fell from my eyes so freely it should’ve been disconcerting.

“By her birthday, I was a goner. So far gone it wasn’t even funny. She thought she was the only one experiencing something for the first time that night. But she was wrong. I was getting to experience something, too. An all-consuming
, rip-your-heart-out-of-your-chest-if-you-were-rejected, kind of love. And once it hit me, once I could plainly see that’s what we had, I knew I’d do anything to keep her. Because in my eyes, she was finally mine. It was that moment I promised whoever was listening upstairs, I’d protect and treasure her for the rest of my life.”

As the words left my lips, the knowledge that I hadn’t protected her crushed me. I scrubbed away my tears, closing my eyes to regain my composure in case someone walked in.

“I love you, too,” a soft voice whispered.

My eyes snapped open, but Alex’s remained closed. I looked over my shoulder at the empty doorway.

I knew wanting something to happen badly enough could make you believe it happened.  But that wasn’t it. I knew what I heard. I’d know that voice anywhere.

“Alex?” I leaned in, careful not to get too close for fear of startling her if she opened her eyes.

I watched her swollen lips move. “You saved me, Hayden.”

A
cross between a gasp and a sob broke from my lips. I missed her so damn much. I wanted to spread kisses all over her beautiful face. But I couldn’t risk hurting her with so many broken bones healing underneath her bruises. Instead I lifted her hand already in mine and kissed it over and over again.

“I missed you,” she whispered. 

My tears were a God damn waterfall spilling everywhere.

“I knew you’d come for me.”

I closed my eyes, unable to believe she’d finally woken up
and
she didn’t hate me. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

“Do
not
blame yourself.” As weak as she was, she was determined to speak her mind. “This is
not
your fault.”

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t do much of anything but wipe at the tears falling down my cheeks.

Alex’s head fell to the side. Her eyes cracked open enough so she could see me. “You did
not
do this.”             

I nodded, knowing she truly believed that. “I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

I could’ve sworn her lips twitched. “Promise?”

EPILOGUE

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

ALEX

“You got everything?” Hayden asked.

I looked around the empty purple bedroom. It took me
less than a day to pack everything. I picked up the only remaining evidence I ever lived there. The latest framed picture of Hayden and me on my nightstand.

Our squished faces usually made it difficult to see where his face stopped and mine began, but not in this one. Hayden sported facial hair and I wore my graduation cap. Hayden didn’t get to wear one yet. He had a few more credits to earn. Sophia had taken the picture on the quad after I crossed the stage, and our wide smiles matched.

Hayden’s strong arms slipped around my waist from behind. His chin rested on my shoulder. “I love this picture.”

I twisted my head so I could see him. This guy I’d grown to love more and more every day. And not just because he saved me. Because I knew I saved him as well. “You say that about every picture of us.”

Hayden spun me around until I could do nothing but look up into his amazing blue eyes, the ones that knocked me off balance the first day I looked into them. The ones that held my future. “That’s because you’re in them.”

I rolled my eyes as I tossed the picture onto the bed and linked my arms around his neck. “You know, you don’t have to keep working so hard to get me. I’m already yours.”

He lowered his lips to mine, his soft and tender kiss forcing me to feel his love. I wished he got the memo. Everything he did, day after day, accomplished that already. He pulled away, his eyes locked on mine. “I need to keep it that way.”

“You do realize I’m going to be your boss, right? I’m going to get to tell you what to do, whenever I feel the urge.”

His dimples sank in, framing a full-blown smile. “I’m counting on it.”

I leaned in and kissed the smile right off his lips. “Can we stop by to see your mom before we leave?”

His eyes softened. “Yeah. She’d hate it if I took you hours away without a goodbye.”

“She does love me, doesn’t she?”

“It’s all those damn flowers you bring her.”

I smiled, but deep inside I couldn’t curb my apprehension. He was taking a giant risk uprooting his whole life for me. This was his home. The only place he called his own after everything he’d endured. “You sure this is what you want?”

He tightened his arms, and I could feel his heart deep and steady against my chest. “I would follow you to the ends of the earth if it meant we’d be together.”

A smile slid across my lips. “Hayden Martin, corny? No one would believe it.”

“Who cares what anyone else thinks? I only care what you think.”

“How long do we have?”

“Forever.”

I smiled up at him, knowing that was the truth.

Since saving me from Remy, he said things like that all the time. That whole experience changed him. It changed us both. We were open and honest with each other. And it worked. We worked. We weren’t perfect, and we accepted that.

Hayden lowered his voice to that husky tenor I got when I woke up next to him. “My life began when I met you. What happened before is a memory. Something that’ll never happen
again.”

“Better not,” I teased.

“This.” He nodded between us. “Me and you and this adventure we’re about to embark on. This is my reality. And, from where I stand, it’s a pretty amazing reality.”

I couldn’t resist. I was a sucker for romantic declarations. I jumped up so
he had to catch me and wrapped my legs around his hips. “I love you, Hayden. I love you so much it seeps right down to my bones.”

Hayden’s head recoiled. “You heard me?”

I couldn’t be positive I’d heard everything he uttered at my bedside in the hospital, but I heard enough. I pressed my lips to his. This time it was me who took it soft and gentle so he knew just how true my words were and how deep my love ran.

I pulled back and nuzzled my nose to his. “Now I just can’t wait for the proposal. It better be freaking amazing.”

“Not mediocre?”

“With you?” I shook my head. “Never again.”

THE END