Until Alex (30 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

HAYDEN

My elbows dug into my knees while my head pounded between my hands. I’d been in the same spot on my sofa since realizing searching for Alex was like trying to find a needle in a haystack on a cold dark night during a downpour. I’d nearly driven off the road twice out of pure exhaustion.

The last time I’d felt that helpless was the night I couldn’t stop my father from putting a bullet through my mother’s head.

I closed my eyes and shoved down the memory. 

I wanted to help.
I
needed
to help. But I had no idea what else to do. I’d called everyone I thought may have seen her or heard something. I even considered fronting Remy’s bail so he could rally the troops and help me find her. Yeah. I quickly rethought that idea.

I’d told the detectives
anything I thought might lead them to Alex. Including what Cameron and Taylor had done. Taylor might’ve been surprised by Alex’s disappearance, but it didn’t hurt to question her. And finally bag her for drugging Alex and hacking the school’s alert system.

Katherine wasn’t too thrilled to learn about that
one.

Alex’s ex-boyfriend
also got a visit. But they’d come back with nothing.

They checked airport logs and visited her family’s vineyard. But neither turned up anything.

“Hayden?” Alex’s aunt called from somewhere nearby. “Would you like something to eat?”

I shook my head, not even bothering to look up. I knew what I’d find. Katherine’s dark circles mirrored my own. As did the exhaustion and worry overwhelming her every breath.

The detectives didn’t want her tainting possible evidence in her apartment, so she’d been staying on my sofa, wanting to be close by if Alex returned.

As if she just up and walked away.

We’d bonded over the last three days as investigators breezed in and out of her apartment searching for any little clue they might’ve missed. My apartment served as their home base. And as much as I hated cops, them being there ensured I got information I otherwise wouldn’t have.

What I knew. S
ince Alex’s car remained in the parking lot, her phone remained on the bathroom counter, and there was no sign of a struggle, they deduced she went willingly with her abductor. That meant one of two things. She knew the person. Or, she’d been forced to leave under duress.

Both thoughts
scared the living hell out of me because either way, Alex was alone and terrified.

I hated to admit it, but my hope had begun to fade. I’d seen the detectives’ faces. I’d heard their whispers. Hell, I’d seen enough television to know most abductees were killed within the first twenty-four hours.

It had been
three
days. Three torturous days. And still nothing.

Needing to be away from the noise—away from the constant reminders Alex was gone—I headed into my room and fell back on my bed. I didn’t turn on the television
for fear of seeing another news teaser about her disappearance. They called her The Missing Millionaire.

Apparently,
she’d collected her inheritance while we were in Austin. The investigators were optimistic a ransom request would surface. But it hadn’t. And her bank accounts and credit cards remained untouched.

I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t mentioned her inheritance
to me, especially since she dealt with it while I was in Austin with her. But I guess it didn’t really matter. The only thing that mattered was that she offered every penny she had to her abductor. Money could be replaced. She couldn’t.

I glanced to my nightstand.
The night we returned from Austin, Alex printed one of the pictures I’d taken of us and framed it for me. Though it hurt to look, I grabbed the picture from my nightstand and forced myself to look at it.

Our heads were pressed together. Our smiles matched.
God
. She was so beautiful. Those gorgeous green eyes. That shiny dark hair falling over her shoulders. Those stunning features.

Then there was me. What did she even see in me? What made her overlook all my bullshit and see the guy she knew I could be?

My eyes welled, a common occurrence over the past three days.

Having tortured myself long enough, I placed the picture back on my nightstand and draped my arms over my eyes.

Please bring her back to me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

ALEX

A whoosh of air left my lungs as my head got thrown to the side with another vicious blow. Black spots clouded my eyes. One more time and I’d be out cold. I could feel it. I welcomed it. With my hands still
tied, there was no protecting myself. I could barely open my eyes. Fresh blood slipped from my nose, dripping over the dried blood from the previous strike.

But I was still breathing.

And though the weight of my head pulled my body forward, I still sat upright.

I’d tried with every ounce of energy to escape the ropes keeping me a prisoner. I hadn’t taken Remy for a Boy Scout, but the knots were tight. And as the days waned, so did my energy and the strength necessary to escape.

I tried reasoning with him, explaining I had money. Lots of money I could transfer to his account without anyone discovering the source. But that’s what elicited his latest blow.

He didn’t care about money. That wasn’t what this was about. That, in itself, made everything worse. Because then, I had nothing left to offer.

“What did he tell you?” Remy demanded, squatting to look up into my bowed face.

I tried lifting my head
up, but it was too heavy. It wasn’t the first time Remy asked the same question. But my answer remained the same. “Nothing.”

“Then why’d he leave me in there?” He moved so close his spit sprayed across my face. “Why’d he leave me to rot in that cell?”

“I don’t know.” Trying to talk to him or calm him down proved useless. Anything I said set him off. So I refrained from saying much.

Remy stood and paced the stretch of floor in front of me, the damn gun glued to his hand. He mumbled to himself, but that was nothing new. Most of the time he made no sense. Maybe the pills he kept popping were finally killing him. Or maybe it was just me losing consciousness. Again.

It was odd. I no longer feared Remy. Or his gun. I’d become numb to them. Numb to the pain. Numb to the fear. Maybe exhaustion, hunger, and dehydration did that to a person.

Since I hadn’t been permitted to leave my spot, I’d soiled myself days ago. But having been deprived of food and drink, I had nothing left to dispose of.

I really just wanted to be put out of my misery. 

“You stole him from me.” 

I closed my eyes. What could I say? I did. I stole the one person Remy counted on. Unintentionally. But I stole him nonetheless. “I needed him, too,” I whispered.

Remy flew in front of me, bending to meet my swollen eyes. His stinking breath invaded my senses. “What could you need him for? He’s
my
best friend. We’d die for each other.”

I had no response. Nothing I said would make him understand what Hayden and I
shared.

“Then you came along with your expensive
car and lawyers and weaseled your way into his life. We were fine without you. You fucked everything up. He never would’ve lied to me before you. He never would’ve left me rotting in that cell unless you were chirping in his ear.”

I shook my head, but barely.

“We had a job last week. Did you know that?”

Why would I know? Hayden didn’t
tell
me anything about his work.

“Do you know what he did?” He raised his voice to a scary level. “I said do you know what he did?”

Terrified of what he’d say or do next, I shook my head. I might’ve been numb, but the unknown still scared the hell out of me.

“He didn’t answer my God damned calls. He knew I called and didn’t answer. My best friend would never drop me for some bitch.” His teeth clenched and his words dripped with hate. “Some no-good piece of replaceable ass.”

Remy jerked away and continued to wear out a path in front of me. It gave me a moment to breathe. A moment to assess my surroundings.
I raised my eyes. He was getting sloppy. For the first time, the door behind him sat open a couple inches. A television played, but I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see much in the dim light or with my cheeks swollen into my eyes. But I glimpsed freedom—if I wasn’t still bound to a chair.

“So how do I plan on getting my friend back you ask?” He didn’t look at me. He just  paced with his gun. “I take away the distraction.”

When his words registered, my heart stopped. It actually stopped. And as much as I wanted Remy to end it for me, the thought of never seeing Hayden again became real.

He’d blame himself. I’d be another person he cared about who was killed.

The whole situation wasn’t fair.

It was
insane
.

“I’m sure
while Hayden was running his mouth he told you I have no problem handling a gun.” He released the gun’s safety. “And someone as meaningless as you will be easier than most to dispose of.”

There wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. A sob exploded from my lips. Because it finally hit me.

Hayden wasn’t coming to save me.

CHAPTER THIRTY

HAYDEN

“You sure, Hayden?” Alex asked in that sassy little way only she could.

We were in her room in Austin. For some strange reason, I turned down her offer to share another shower. But it worked in my favor because she set about changing my mind in a variety of interesting ways involving her stripping down to her underwear.

Pounding on the door sent my body jack-knifing.
My chest heaved from the sudden intrusion as I struggled to get my bearings.

I wasn’t in Austin. I wasn’t with Alex.

She was still missing.

My chest constricted.

“Hayden?” Alex’s aunt called from behind my bedroom door.

I scrubbed my hands over my unshaven face, trying to keep my tears at bay. “Yeah?”

“You have a visitor.”

Running my hands through my hair, I suddenly realized my room was aglow with sunlight. How long had I been out? “I’ll be—”

The door swung open. Cooper’s suit-clad body filled the doorway. Why the hell was he in my apartment? In my bedroom? He didn’t make house calls. People were brought to him.

I jumped to my feet like a lowly recruit before the general.

“Sit down, son.”

I did as told and nearly shit when he closed the door and took a seat beside me on my bed.

His dark eyes assessed my empty walls and furniture, the same way Alex’s had the first time she’d been inside. “Sorry to hear about your girl.”

I nodded. Was that why he’d come by? To offer his condolences? She wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be.

“They have any leads?”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and shook my head.

“Listen, I came by to tell you something.” My eyes lifted to his face, but his eyes stared at the picture on my nightstand. I wondered if he could see how in love Alex and I were—are. “And I know once I do, you’re gonna be really angry with me. I don’t expect anything less.”

I gripped the comforter at my sides, bunching the fabric tightly in my fists. “You’re scaring the fuck out of me right now, sir. Please just tell me what you know.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know anything. It’s just a hunch.”

Beads of sweat formed on my forehead. 

Cooper avoided my probing gaze. He stared straight ahead, his eyes creasing in the corners. “That night in the alley. Did you ever wonder if that guy was still alive?”

“What?”

He shot me a sideways glance. “When Remy lifted you over the wall? You think the guy could’ve been alive?”

Having no clue why he’d bring that up—especially with my life in shambles—I shook my head.

“Why not?”

“Because I was there. I saw him.” My voice rose, never having spoken to anyone about it
but Alex. “I saw his lifeless body. I’ve seen his grave.”

He nodded. “Oh, he died that night alright.” He stared at me long and hard, considering his words. “But you didn’t kill him.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “What?”

“You didn’t do it. Remy did.”

My stomach dropped as my jaw hung to the floor. He wasn’t talking about the story Remy told the cops. He was telling me something I didn’t know. Something I couldn’t have known.

“He didn’t want the guy talking, or going to the feds about me, so he kicked him in the head until he took his last breath.
After
you scaled the wall.”

My head spun
with images of that night. I’d been there. I’d seen him with my own eyes. Hadn’t I?

Jesus Christ.

All
this fucking time.

All
the guilt I lived with.

All
the choices I made because of it.

“I never understood why Remy wanted you to believe you did it.”

Anger welled inside of me, deep and fiery. I scrubbed my palms over my face. “So he could hold on to me,” I hissed. “So he’d have my unwavering loyalty.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner.”

I nodded, my mind still whirling.

“In our world, respect is key. You’ve earned mine ten-fold.” He patted me on the back and stood up. “You’ve still got a job if you want one. But I won’t stand in your way if you
don’t after what I’ve kept quiet about.” 

I watched speechlessly as Cooper walked to my door
and stopped.

He turned back with repentant eyes. “Remy made bail.”

ALEX

Being tethered in the same spot for days had turned my body cold and limbs numb. My heartbeat had slowed to a distant thumping. My breathing was labored. And my cotton mouth barely opened.

I couldn’t understand why Remy didn’t just kill me. I guess he wanted me to die a slow death. Torture me for stealing his best friend. Drive me completely insane.

Hallucinations had taken over my reality. Dreams mixed with my nightmares. I often mistook Remy for Hayden. In those brief moments, I attempted to smile or speak. Until being tugged from my delusion when he opened his mouth.

Everything was so hazy.

So distant.

So dark.

In the beginning I tried to stay awake. I didn’t try anymore. I found it easier to drift off to a place where visions of Hayden kept me safe. His smiling face when I fished for compliments. His strong arms when he wouldn’t let me go in the middle of the night. His dimples when he smiled. His vulnerability only I got to see.

Those images kept me sane in the midst of my darkest hours.

I was close. So close to no longer existing. So close to joining my parents. Preston’s parents. Hayden’s mom. Victor. I could feel it with every fiber of my being. Hopefully, I’d fade away the same way I’d spent most of my last hours. Unconscious.

Pound.
Pound
.

My ears perked at the distant sound. Was someone building a house nearby? Hayden would be good at construction, so strong and talented with his hands. I wondered if he found a job. Anything to keep him away from Remy and the evil life he lived.

Pound. Pound.

Maybe it was a kid playing basketball. Hayden mentioned he’d played when he was younger. He also dispelled the rumor about boxing, but thought it was a good cover for when he got blindsided on the job.

Pound. Pound.

Was the noise solely in my head? Because if so, why was it becoming increasingly louder?

Clearer?

Closer?

There was no use trying to lift my head. Remy was probably in a drunken stupor again. I wouldn’t use my last bit of energy on him. He wouldn’t get that.

A door thrust open rattling the wall behind it.

“Oh my God, Alex.”

My Hayden dream again.

“I’m here, baby, I’m right here,” his rushed voice promised.

His hands always went to work on the ropes around my ankles first. He’d get to my hands after I lifted my head and we exchanged a tear-filled exchange.

Hallucinations could be so cruel. Because each time I came to and realized it wasn’t real, devastation hit and the nightmare I found myself in was actually reality.

“I’m here. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay. I swear to you, you’re gonna be okay
.”

Even in my hallucinations Hayden soothed me. Protected me. Saved me. Who knew the mind could be so callous?

My eyes remained closed. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe the mirage, even if I did allow myself to indulge for a little while.

“I found Alex. She’s at Remy’s on Ocean Road.”

Hayden calling in my whereabouts always ended my dream. It was the painful moment I discovered it really wasn’t him. The moment I discovered without a shadow of a doubt, I was completely alone. Secured to a chair. Surrounded by darkness. 

“Step back,” Remy’s voice ripped through my delusions like a vicious tornado. Always destroying my dreams.

HAYDEN

My head flew up from where I crouched at Alex’s feet, attempting to untie the ropes.
Ropes
. My beautiful girl was tied up in fucking ropes. The sight of her almost unrecognizable face, so bruised and swollen, gutted my heart and fucked with my head. I was seconds away from going ballistic.

Remy stood in the doorway of his spare room. The room he’d kept Alex a prisoner in for four days.
Four fucking days
. I was gonna tear his head off and then kill him.
Hate
and
disgust
weren’t strong enough words for what I felt. “What have you done?” I couldn’t even look at him as I worked on the knot at her right ankle. 

In my peripheral, I saw him saunter in, like he hadn’t kidnapped my girl and done God knows what to her. I couldn’t even consider the possibilities. It’d distract me from getting her out. And she needed medical attention. Fast.

But I knew Remy. And no matter how calm he appeared, there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d let us both leave.

My shaking fingers somehow unknotted the knot, pulling the rope free from Alex’s ankle.

“So, my long lost friend reemerges. What brings you here?” Remy asked as if it were some kind of joke.

“I see you made bail.” I needed to keep him talking.  Keep his attention off Alex.

“No thanks to you,” he growled as he lifted his boot and shoved his heel against Alex’s chair. The force sent the entire chair flying backward.

“Oh, my God.” I dove to stop its fall, but my hand only made it behind her head as the chair landed. Thank God she was
already unconscious.

I couldn’t take anymore. I was beyond the point of thinking rationally. My anger superseded reason. My adrenaline shot through the roof. My savage side erupted. I lowered my shoulder and charged at Remy with a giant roar.

He had no time to brace himself. He flailed back as I tackled him to the floor, his head bouncing off the floorboards like a beach ball. His gun slipped out of his pocket. I swept it across the floor toward Alex. Fuck his gun. I wanted him to feel the pain. I wanted him to suffer.

“Get off,” he growled through gritted teeth, but he didn’t shield himself.

Did he think I wouldn’t hurt him? Because I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. I let my fists loose. First my right then my left. Then I alternated. Blow after blow.

Blood sprayed from his nose, covering his face, me, the floor. I was going to kill him. I was really going to do it.

My vision blurred. Tears mixed with the sweat dripping down my face. Ragged breaths were all I could manage as the rage within me escalated to epic heights.

My blows were relentless. Incensed. Unrestrained.

I wanted him to feel what Alex had been through—what he’d put her through. I wanted him to feel the hate I felt for him.

I glanced over my shoulder at Alex, still unconscious. Still bound to a chair. Still beaten and broken. I needed to reel in my anger. I needed to pull myself back from the edge.

She needed me. 

Pushing off Remy’s heaving chest, I stood. My eyes didn’t leave him as I backed away. “Why would you do this?” I squatted at Alex’s left ankle, working on the ropes. “How could you fucking hurt her?”

“I needed you. I needed you and you blew me off. For
her
.”

Jesus Christ. He sounded like a scorned ex. He was even more delusional than I ever imagined.

“You owed me.”

It was like being kicked in the gut. Abused for too long by the one person who had something to hold over me. Something to cinch my loyalty. Something that was a complete lie. “I owed you nothing,” I spat. I couldn’t believe he had the balls to keep up the charade after everything he’d done.

“I protected you. I always protected you,” he screamed as I sat back on my feet watching him lay there a bloody mangled mess.

“You protected
you
. It’s only ever been about
you
.”

“No, man. It was supposed to be us. We were supposed to start our own organization. One that rivaled Cooper’s. You’re the only one I’d ever trust to do it with me.”

I shook my head at his delusional ramblings. Cooper would’ve killed Remy before he ever let him lure business away from him.

I’d heard enough.

I pulled the rope free from Alex’s left ankle and went to work on her wrists. I needed to get her out of there. “What you did was fucked up. You’re fucked up.” The skin was raw around Alex’s wrists like she’d fought to get free. My God.  How hard had she worked to escape? “If I find out—”

Click
.

Oh fuck.

“He got your time. Your affection. Your love. It was all supposed to be mine!”

I shook off the echo of my father’s voice as I turned slowly, bracing myself for the barrel of a gun in my face. But it wasn’t aimed at me.

Remy stood with the gun aimed at Alex.