Unraveling of Avery Snow, The (6 page)

“Can I
pet her?” she asked shyly.

“Sure, she is nice
.” Reaching out tentatively, she patted May on the head. “She likes to be pet right under her chin,” I explained as I showed the little girl exactly where. She reached down and our fingers touched slightly.

     “Mama,” she called as I ran to her bedroom. “Mama, I had a bad dream.”

    
“Oh, darling, it will be okay,” I assured her as I reached her bedside. “Annabelle, it was only a terrible nightmare. You will be all right. Now, go back to sleep.” I patted her on her blonde head. She sighed and stared at me wide eyed. She looked terrified, the poor dear.

    
“Mama, will you die someday?” she asked curiously. We had discussed death recently when my aunt had passed. I had to explain the cruel ways of the world and how we will all die one day. But being the eldest of children I thought she was ready for that discussion. Clearly I was mistaken.

    
“Annabelle, one day a long, long time from now, I will die. Yes. But I will not be gone forever and you will join me again in Heaven, when it is your time to die. But you have so much life in you and you need not worry about such things.”

“Will we be happy in Heaven?” she asked me.

     “Yes, I do believe we will. Now make your mama happy and try to go back to sleep.”

    
“Will you sing to me?” she pleaded. I couldn’t resist. I did so love to sing to my darlings. I would do anything to get her back to rest.

    
“Of course, my dear.”

     She pulled her hand away and eyed me curiously. “Who are you?” she asked. My mouth went dry quickly and my heart pounded. Did I just share a vision with this little girl? The wind blew and I stood abruptly.

“My name is Avery,”
I said, my voice raspy. The poor little girl looked terrified; no doubt the vision had thrown her for a loop.

“I’m Kendall
. We don’t live here, we are visiting my grandma.” Her sweet little face made my heartstrings pull. Was this little girl my daughter once? I offered her a smile to calm her. Surprisingly, I think I was more freaked than she was.

“Well
, Kendall, it was very nice to meet you. Have fun with your grandma.”

“I have to go now. Bye, Mama,” she said to me as she waved goodbye. Tears flooded my eyes as I watched her walk away and jump into her mother’s arms. She called me mama. She must have felt the connection I did. Either that or she was just confused. I watched her briefly
, but decided I would look creepy staying here and watching kids play. I tore my eyes away from Kendall and walked deeper into the park. I stopped at a tree and my heart pounded harder, like I had just run a two-mile race. I sat on the grass and May licked at my face, sensing something was wrong. I didn’t even quite know what the hell was going on with me.

“Weird
, right?” a sultry voice said behind me. I turned and felt lightheaded instantly. I slowly looked around me and saw no one. Maybe they weren’t talking to me anyway. I put my head between my knees like they tell you to do when you’re lightheaded. The voice spoke again. “Not feeling well, Avery?”

“Who’s there?” I asked, m
y heart still pounding and head still fuzzy. If it was the new Dark Guide I couldn’t fight her off. I wasn’t myself right now. May didn’t bark as she lay down on the grass lazily. So much for a guard dog. A single purple feather landed on the grass in front of me. I looked up and my eyes met with Lillith, who was peering down from one of the branches.

C
hapter Eight

She’s B
ack

“Lillith, what’s going on with me?” I stumbled across the words that ran out of my mouth. It felt like I was having a heart attack. A sharp pain traveled down my heart and into my arms.

“Calm down.
You’re not dying; you’re just in shock. It will pass,” she said nonchalantly. Obviously my dying in front of her was no big deal. If I wasn’t dying it sure felt like it. Slumping over on my side, I clutched my chest. My breathing was labored now.

“Call …
911 ...” I mumbled.

“Oh yeah sure, let me get out my cell phone. You know
, because we angels have those on hand.” She rolled her eyes at me. “You just need to breathe and stop panicking. You’re gonna be fine. This happens sometimes when humans see a past child. You made her, so your soul knows her better than anyone. You are the reason for her existence. Well, you and the Big Man.” I assumed she meant God, but I was so cloudy at that point that I tried just to concentrate on her words and not the pain.

“It is sort of beautiful that you saw her here, right? I mean
, of all the places you saw your first daughter in this crappy park.”

“Hey
, this park is not crappy,” I said while breathing slowly.

“No
, it’s a dump. But that little girl, she’s beautiful. She was your first-born child, Avery.” I slowly started to feel a little better and sat up sluggishly. My head still felt crazy, but I was thinking clearer now. It made sense why I felt this way, but why did I see Annabelle? I stared at Lillith, whose black hair looked unkempt and her frame lanky.

“What are you doing here,
Lillith? And more importantly, how did you know that child was mine?” It was unexplainable, but everything with me usually was. I was the one girl who saw all this crazy stuff but just accepted it as it was.

“An angel can see when there is a bond between two humans. We can also usually see the visions you share. It’s one of the awesome capabilities we have.
Yay!” She did a mock cheer for her sarcastic remark. “I am here because you’re the only one who can see me now, you know. Landon is like dead to the world. I am going crazy not being able to see him.” She started picking at the feathers that surrounded her. There was a nervousness about her that I had never seen before. I knew that she was there for Ianni when she fell and even after, so why was she so broken? My pain, which was so strong, soon began to die off slowly. I could feel my heartbeat go almost back to normal as I took some deep, cleansing breaths.

“I am so sorry,” I started. “If I knew a way to fix this I would. I want him to remember
, too.” She shot me a look that would terrify any normal human.

“Don’t apologize to me and then lie to me. I see you with Dallas and you practically throw it in Landon’s face that you’re so happy and in love.”

She jumped down, or rather fell gracefully, from the tree branch and faced me now on the grass. “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. You are supposed to be with him and not Dallas. You’re glad Landon isn’t in your way of happiness.”

“That is not true,” I spat. “You have no idea what you’re saying! I love Dallas
, and I love Landon, too. There, I said it.” The relief at saying those words out loud was unbelievable. I hadn’t been able to tell anyone my true feelings, they would be so judgmental about my confusion. I didn’t want a love triangle, trust me. I was looking for a simple, uncomplicated life. Now that Landon didn’t remember it did help to not remind me of my feelings. But the way Lillith said it made me sound like some sort of monster.

“Have you told Dallas who he was in your past yet?” Her eyes looked dark and angry. She was out for revenge, it was apparent. She blamed me for what happened to Landon. “Did you tell him that you were unable to resist Landon before? Did you tell him how he hung himself in that barn?”

“Enough!” My scream filled the park and people were starting to stare.

“Look
, you have to tell him,” she said more calmly. Maybe she recognized that I wasn’t going to take her behavior any longer.

“Who says I have to
, huh?”

“No
one, but it would be the right thing to do. He will find out soon enough, trust me.” She eyed me up and down, shaking her head at my state. I still sat slumped over on the grass at her feet. I must have looked like a pathetic moron to her.

“Don’t come to me with your rules and your poor me,
Lillith. I get it, okay? You’re lonely.” Once I said it, her attitude fell away and she looked embarrassed. “Come to me when you want to be my friend, not this bitch you are right now.” Pulling myself up, I stood and walked away from her. When I turned to look back she was gone.




That night
, after leaving work, I met Ianni for dinner at the bistro. I told her how sorry I was for my behavior towards her. I also filled her in on my visit from Lillith. It took about two hours until the pain went away completely. It was hard for me to shake the feeling of seeing Kendall. I had to try to forget her or it would be another person that I would long to be with and never get to know. The fact was she had a family now and she wasn’t mine. I had my chance with her before, now I had to move on with my life. One thing I knew for sure was that I would see her again at Home. There our souls would meet and we would both recognize each other.

Ianni
seemed starved as she tore into the fresh bread on our table after we placed our order.

“She doesn’t like when people can read her. I think you pretty much told her what she n
eeded to hear,” Ianni said about Lillith as she chewed a piece of Italian bread. We sat in silence for a little while, neither one saying anything. I waited to see what she had to say about my admission about Landon. I had told her my feelings. I was immensely guilty for feeling anything towards him. I just wanted to love one person, not two.

Finally
, she broke the silence. “I think it’s a blessing that you saw that little girl. What was it like?”

“T
o be honest, it hurt,” I answered. She nodded and took another bite of bread.

“It’s not what you’re used to,
Avery. I do not foresee it ever happening again. But it’s pretty amazing.” She smiled and looked at the people around us having regular conversations.

“So how is work?” I asked to change the subject.

“It’s good, thanks for asking. I think I may like someone there,” she said as her cheeks reddened, a beautiful blush spreading across her face. She had started her job, and selfish me was so wrapped up in my own drama I hadn’t asked her about it.

“Like as in
you think he’s cute?” I teased.

“Yes, he is cute. His name is Beau
,” she squealed. “Avery, everything about him is wonderful.” I remembered him from the opening night of the restaurant. He was not much taller than Ianni. His dark hair was buzzed close to his head, but his eyes drew you in. They were a very dark brown.

“I remember him
, Ianni. Very good taste,” I said, raising my wine glass to her.

“It’s all well and good, but I don’t suppose he would want anything to do with me.” She frowned and threw her bread back on the plate.

“Are you kidding me? You are one of the most beautiful girls I know,” I told her. “He would be a fool to pass you up. Either that or he’s gay.”

“Avery!” she
exclaimed, giggling.

We finished the night with
ice cream and walked home, needing to walk off the millions of calories we had just eaten. On the walk there Ianni was quiet.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked as I licked my chocolate cone.

“Just thinking about how different things are now. I never thought my life as a human could be this good.” She looped her arm in mine. I was a very lucky girl to be surrounded by all these wonderful people. I had no complaints.




When I got home I returned the five missed calls from my dad and filled him in on the basic things in my life.
“How is Dallas,” he asked. I purposely talked about work to avoid relationship conversations. My dad wasn’t the best source for advice. His wife, Rachel, had left him last year and taken my half-sister, Cora, with her to Italy. Cora didn’t even know about me. There was a part of me that really wanted to meet her, but I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance. Dad told me he deserved to be alone. He told me how tough his relationship with Rachel was. I didn’t really care for her; she came into my family and broke up my parents. If I ever had to meet her, I think I would slap her.

“Dallas is fine, D
ad. Everyone is doing really well,” I assured him.

“Well
, I hear from your Aunt Pauline that his restaurant is taking off. That’s good news, right?”

“Wait
, you talked to Aunt Paul?” My aunt, Aunt Paul as I call her, raised me. She was there after my mom died and when my dad wasn’t around. I was surprised that she would even talk to my dad.

“Avery, Pauline isn’t holding a grudge any longer. We have worked things out,” he informed me. While I was happy that they no longer hated each other, it felt wrong. All my life I hear
d how my dad didn’t deserve my love … told to me by my aunt. I never blamed her for hating my dad, but now I guess they were friends.

“That’s good to hear, I suppose.”

“It is good, honey. I promise. Anytime that two people can see past their differences and become friends is a good thing.” I was happy to hear his words of wisdom. I hoped that it lasted.

After we hung up with each other I
called my Aunt Pauline, who was now living close to me, but I hardly saw her. She was constantly taking trips and busy being a social butterfly. She told me about an upcoming trip to Australia that she was about to embark on. I was secretly jealous about it. I would love to lie on the beach there and sip a cocktail. When I hung up with them I settled in my bed and tried not to think of that little girl. It was hard to do since her face was etched in my mind.