Underwater (27 page)

I frowned and looked at him with wary eyes until he finally blinked, snapping out of it. A moment later, he put his hand under my elbow and hauled me up, hugging me forcefully to him. One arm wrapped around my shoulders while his other hand wrapped around the small of my back. I felt his body shudder. I didn’t know what the hell was happening. So I did the only thing I knew to soothe his trembling body…I hugged him back. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my head in the spot that connected his neck and shoulder. We stood there for long minutes, clinging to each other until his body stopped shaking. When I felt the storm was finally gone, I asked him what was wrong.

He told me that he never wanted to see me on my knees in front of him again. I didn’t know why. I only knew there was a reason for his strong reaction, so I let it go.

I knew when the time was right, he would tell me.

“When I am with you, we stay up all night.

When you’re not here, I can’t go to sleep.

Praise God for those two insomnias!

And the difference between them.”

—
Rumi

A
lone at last.

After long, dreadful hours of torture, I was finally alone. This cell was my own brand of personal hell. Pain was my friend. Darkness was my ally. An ocean of blood had been gathering around my body. I wasn’t a quitter, but I’d never wanted to die as much as I wanted to at this moment.

I had no fucking idea how long I’d been held down here. Days? Weeks? Months? I’d lost all sense of time, and slowly, my survival instincts were decreasing. I could feel it draining the life out of me. I wouldn’t leave this place alive anyway. What was the point of going on? To try to cling to straws in order to stay alive? I should end this nightmare already, but I had no physical strength.

I was disgusted with myself and what I had become.

A fucking wimp.

Their leader could have hurt me numerous times if he wanted to. Yeah, when he was surrounded by his men, he was cruel and merciless. But he used words instead of physical abuse. What the hell was his game?

A fit of coughing took hold over me. My ribs hurt like a bitch and I could barely inhale a breath. They broke every part of my body they could break, and I hurt everywhere, but I never gave them the satisfaction of seeing me break. I had been dealt a bad hand from the moment they got me, but this… I would not give them this.

The door swung open. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes tight. Afraid it was them. That they came back to finish what they had started. Yet, I also felt a sense of bliss that all the suffering would finally be over.

Opening my eyes, they drifted in the direction of the sound and what I saw in front my bloodshot eyes took my breath away. A little girl entered the cell and stood at the entrance. A halo of light surrounded her small frame, making her glow. The brilliant light that radiated from her prevented me from seeing her face. I squinted, trying to blink my blurry vision away in order to make out her features.

Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I saw a small figure rushing toward me.

“Ace! Come back here!” the little girl shouted.

All at once, I felt my world crash down around me. Chills swept through my body and my breath hitched in my throat. I recognized the name. If Ace was here, it meant one thing. The girl, the green-eyed angel I had saved was also here… in this cell with me.

What the fuck was she doing down here? I felt a rush of panic grip me from the inside out. Was she nuts? Would she chase this dog to the end of the world no matter what danger she had to face?

I was weak, lying on the dirty floor, my life bleeding away. There wasn’t a chance I would be able to keep her safe. To protect her from harm.

Why was she here? How did she find me?

A surge of coughing took over me yet again. When my heaves subsided, I tried to speak. “Wh-what are y-you doing here?”

The girl was now standing in front of me, her dog tucked carefully in her arms. I could finally make out her features. She looked the same, wearing the same white girly nightgown.
Her light brown hair was still wild across her face. And the bandages I had used to cover her wounds were still there.

“Ace ran away,” she mumbled, looking shy. “I had to find him.” She took small steps towards me, concern etched on her face.

My brain screamed: She isn’t real. She couldn’t really be here.

“What are you doing here?” I asked again, my voice hoarse.

She looked at me… just looked at me, then said in a small voice, “I came to save Ace, and I…” she swallowed, then worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

“You what?” I asked her desperately.

“I came to save you too,” she whispered.

She came here to save me? Was she crazy? I wanted to shake her. I wanted to scream at her to run away. Run for her life before anyone else could come down here and see her.

I was scared shitless for her safety, yet comforted that she was here with me.

Even though I knew deep down it was only a dream, her presence made me feel better. It made no sense. I had only met her once and I hadn’t even learned her fucking name.

Before I could ask her name, the glowing figure in front of me began to dim and fade away. Her eyes were wide open and her small hand was outstretched in front of her, reaching out to me. I was half-dead on the ground, but I still tried to take her hand in mine.

Just as I was about to touch her, she disappeared, and everything went black and cold and sad.

My eyes flew open and I gasped. I felt disoriented, confused and unaware of my surroundings. I blinked away the fog that clung to me like ivy to a tree.

Why did I suddenly dream about the girl and her little dog?
I was unnerved by it.

I looked around at the bright and unfamiliar room, and realization dawned on me. I was at Tiny’s house.

I’d taken her out on a date to an Italian restaurant. But during the evening, she became unsettled. She checked her cell phone every two minutes. Her leg jumped up and down non-stop, all the while her fingers tapped nervously on the table. If I didn’t know what held her in such a tight knot, I would’ve been offended.

So after dinner, I’d suggested we should sleep at her house this time. She’d smiled with gratitude. I knew she wanted to be closer to her father these days.

When we got to her house, her parents were already in bed. But I got to meet her little brother, Adam. He was sitting in the living room watching TV. The moment he laid eyes on me, he scowled. I don’t think he liked me much, but I chalked it up to him being protective of his sister. That was something I could respect.

The kid got up from the couch, grumbled something I couldn’t make out, hugged his sister and kissed her cheek. He did all that while ignoring my existence. Then he walked up the stairs and locked himself in his room. Aria stared at the vacant stairs, and then shifted her gaze to me with raised eyebrows. I shrugged and she shook her head, chuckling.

For a moment, we stared at each other. I wanted to do so many things to her.
For
her. I wanted to soothe her pain and distract her somber thoughts. I wanted to take her in my arms and never let go. But she could barely keep herself standing. She needed sleep more than she needed anything else. I stalked the inches that separated us, took her in my arms, and carried her while she directed me to her room.

We were both so damn exhausted that as soon as I laid her on the bed, I got under the covers with her. I tucked her small frame against my body and the moment our heads settled comfortably on the soft pillows, we were dead to the world.

Which brought me to the here and now.

Needing to touch her, I reached out my hand and felt... nothing. A blank space. I tapped my hand a few times and felt the spot. It was vacant and cold. I sat up, panicked.

Would it ever go away?
This constant fear of waking up one day only to find out that she had disappeared from my life?

The clock on her nightstand showed it was after 3AM. Without wasting another second, I jumped out of bed and started my quest. I checked the top floor. She wasn’t there. I went downstairs and did a quick search of the living room. She wasn’t there either. Trying not to let panic overtake me, I moved to the kitchen and noticed the kitchen door was open. Looking through the screen door, I saw her.

I stepped outside into the backyard. She was sitting on a swing attached to a giant oak tree, holding onto the ropes while she rocked back and forth, all the while looking up towards the night sky. She appeared so vulnerable swinging like a little kid.

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest.

I loved her
, I admitted to myself.

I let her be alone for a time while I stood hidden in the shadows, watching quietly as she swayed peacefully. The moonlight shined upon her head, making her look like an angel.
My angel
. When every muscle in my body screamed for me to go to her, I left the dark place where I was standing and walked towards her light.

There was another swing next to her and I took it. We rocked back and forth slowly, both of us lost in our heads until I decided to break the silence.

“Why are you out here all alone?” I asked quietly, afraid to disturb the stillness around us.

“I dunno,” she murmured after a few seconds. “I woke up with a weird feeling... like…” she broke off then sighed. “I don’t know… like something was missing.” She turned her head and looked at me. “Something is definitely missing, but I can’t put my finger on what it is.”

“Let’s talk then.” I smiled. “About anything. Maybe talking would help clear your mind.”

“Okay,” she mumbled.

“Tell me a secret. Something no one else knows.”

“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

—
Rumi