UNBREAKABLE (ABLE SERIES) (20 page)

“You.” My eyes betray me once again. My eyes glaze over with unshed tears.

“Kissable?” She’s trying her hardest to mask her shaky voice.

“Lips.”

“My love?”

“Me.” My voice rings solid, and my heart shouts the truth.

“You’ll fight?” Her voice finally cracks, and one lone tear falls.

“For us.” Determination lacing my voice.

“I’ll see you soon, my love. I love you. Come back to me, okay?” She gives me a small smile.

“Wait for me. I love you more, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

“Piece of cake,” She says with a smile, and her face wet with tears.

“Piece of pie.”

As I lay there, the anesthesia being given to me as I’m counting backwards, I focus on her. My brain fires a million snap shot memories of her laughing, us together, when we make love, and one image that hasn’t happened, but my mind has imagined, a picture of her in white waiting for me at the end of the darkness….and I slowly drift away.

Chapter 22

Trish

So, the waiting starts. Seeing him getting wheeled in the operating room where I can’t follow him scares me to death, and this waiting game makes me feel the same way. I’m buried deep in my own thoughts when I hear Roxy squeal, and for a moment I thought we were at home.

“What the hell! When did this happen? OMG, did it happen last night? Tami, answer me!” Roxy starts firing her questions at lightning speed.

“She called me last night, and I came here to keep her company. We talked and that’s all I’m going to say,” Brian answers, winking at Tami.

Roxy shakes her head so fast, I’m afraid she’s going to make herself dizzy. “Oh, hell no, you’re not going to pull that excuse on me, Brian. If you can’t handle the heat, get off her pussy.”

Cody starts to laugh while Patti and my mom’s mouths hang open, and Jack just stares at Roxy.

Tami crosses her legs and looks at Roxy. “Alright, I called him last night because I got bored waiting. We talked and decided we both want the same thing. That’s it.”

She keeps her eyes on Tami, then swings over to Brian and nods her head, seemingly satisfied with Tami’s answer. “Okay, case dismissed.”

Seeing Tami and Brian holding hands is a good distraction from all the ugliness happening in the hospital. What could very well be the saddest day of my life becomes the happiest day for Tami. Thereby, proving something good can come out of something bad.

Everything went well during the surgery. To pass the time while waiting for the dreaded chemo to start, the boys keep Jake entertained talking about sports, while the girls talks about the wedding. I’m left thinking about Jake, and my responsibilities to Tami. I reach for my IPad, opening the calendar and checking Tami’s schedule for next week. I’m already stressing, thinking of how I can be in two places at one time. I need to be here with Jake, but I know, I need to attend to Tami as well.

“Stop that, Trish!” Tami yells, elbowing me.

“What?”

“Everything is under control, okay? Stop worrying about me. Besides, Rox is helping me. Your focus is my brother, end of story,” Tami explains while she rubs her temple, as she always does, when she’s stressed.

“Tami, can I have my girl back, please?” Jake glares at Tami which in a few seconds she’ll gladly dish right back.

“Geez, she’s in the same room, Jake!” Tami glares back.

I sit next to him on his bed, which is my designated spot when he wants me near him. Jake turns to me and kisses my forehead.

“You okay?” He asks as he tucks my hair behind my ear.

“I’m okay. A little nervous, but nothing I can’t handle. How about you, you okay?”

“This shit hanging on my chest is bothering me a bit, but other than that, I’m good. I’m nervous because you’re nervous. I hate seeing that worried look on your face,” He answers, rubbing my arm with his hand.

I bury my face in the crook of his neck. I inhale his scent as I pepper his neck with small wet kisses.

“I love you, so much. Thank you for loving me.”

He pulls me closer to him, leaning slightly toward my ear.

“Love you too, sweetheart. My kisses, please,” He whispers as he moves so that our lips touch once again.

“Jake, we have an audience. I can’t give your special kisses if everyone’s here,” I whisper back.

“Can everyone clear the room, please? The love of my life won’t kiss me if we have an audience,” He says playfully, glaring at everyone.

That’s when I notice the boys, including Jack, were wearing white shirts and black tactical pants.

“Seriously, Jake, you have to give Trish’s lips a rest! Again, you guys are walking tooth decay!” Roxy exclaims while slapping her forehead.

Ignoring Roxy, we bubble ourselves in our own little world where only we exist, no pain…no tears…no cancer; but really there’s no escaping it.

“I’m going to miss kissing you. Please, wait for me. Don’t leave me, please,” He says, placing his forehead against mine.

“I’m not going anywhere, promise. The kissing part, we have it covered; remember, the chocolates. You can still kiss me on my forehead or my cheeks, so that’s a good thing. You’ll see me here every day, my face will be the first thing you’ll see in the morning when you open your eyes, and it’s the last thing you’ll see when you close them at night. I promise,” I say, trying to sound positive.

The nurse walks in holding a bag that has a murky liquid inside. She says hello to everyone and asks me if I could get off the bed while she prepares everything for Jake. As soon as I see the first drop of chemo slowly flow its way down the IV line straight to his chest, my heart almost stops beating. This is it; there is no turning back. As I close my eyes, a picture of a butterfly flashes in my mind. I thank God for that sign; it means a re-birth of some kind. My Jake will morph into someone different physically, but one day when he’s all better, he’ll be the same Jake, just a lot stronger.

Jake asks Brian if he’d shave his hair off today. He doesn’t want to see his hair fall out in clumps, and I agree with him. I think it would kill me to see sections of his head without hair, like the others I’ve seen in the hallway.

“Are you ready for your Mr. Clean makeover, Jake?” Roxy points at a chair while turning the hair clippers on and off.

Jake wearing his basketball shorts and a white sleeveless shirt hops off the bed as I mentally drool over his handsome face with his five o’clock shadow. I can still feel his stubble tickling my neck, not too long ago. My eyes find his bulging biceps, his toned abs, which I can’t see at the moment, but recall by memory, down to his trim waist. I glance back at his face to find him smiling smugly at me, because he caught me checking him out.

Roxy hands Brian the hair clippers, and Jake sits on the chair in front of Brian. While my mom, Patti, Tami, Roxy, and I stand right in front of the window. I’m waiting for Cody to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but his somber expression and rigid stance are the most serious since I’ve met him.

I elbow Tami and whisper in her ear, “Do you know what’s going on?”

She shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head. “I don’t have a clue, but from the looks of it, there won’t be a dry eye in this room when all is said and done.”

Brian glances my way before making his first pass. I give him a nod and look back at Jake, whose eyes remain locked on mine. Never does he look away, no sadness in them either, pure strength, solid and firm eyes gaze my way as my face rains down with tears. I clench my teeth, trying to hold myself together, but his stare brings me to my knees. His strength is carrying me…carrying us….once again.

When Brian makes his final pass he pauses, wipes Jake’s head, and taps his shoulder. I think Jake is going to sit on his bed, but instead he stand next to Brian moving his IV pole, as his dad takes the seat. Jack reaches out and holds Jake’s hand. I glance Patti’s way when I hear her gasp, and her face is drench with tears as she locks eyes with her husband whose steadfast gaze leaves no room for fear. As Jack stands next to Brian, hands still clasped together with Jake’s, Cody takes the hot seat next. His blond hair falls as if in slow motion as he winks at Roxy who’s sniffling next to me. I reach out to grab her hand, and she squeezes mine…hard… in return. Tami reaches for mine when Cody stands next to Jack, clasps his hand, and Brian hands Jake the clippers as Brian takes the seat. It’s a very poignant moment. Tears cover our faces as our men stand Resilient. Tenacious. Steady.

The moment Jake makes his final pass on Brian, Jack clears his throat, and his powerful voice echoes through the four walls of the room.

“This will be a fight we are not going to lose. We will stand strong together for Jake and Trish. We will hold them with our strength and guard them with our prayers. We will adapt until he overcomes this. And.He.Will.”

Jack turns to face Jake, pulls him in for a tight embrace, and whispers something in his ear which makes him close his eyes and nod in understanding. With everyone being emotionally spent, a break is very much needed. I don’t want anything, but Jake tells Tami to grab something for me.

As soon as we’re by ourselves, Jake sitting on the edge of the bed, and I stand in between his legs. I tenderly set my hands on his head, slowly pull him toward my chest, and kiss him reverently on top of his head as he clings to me. The silence that surrounds us is full of sadness, but even with that, the love that shifts between us subdues it, sadness yields to it.

I tilt his head upward so I can see his eyes. “You’re really rocking this Mr. Clean look, babe. You’re the most hot, handsome, strongest man I ever laid eyes on.” I grab his hand and place it over my heart. His eyes never leave mine. “You feel that, nothing changed, Jake. Nothing.”

He stares at me silently…his eyes glazing over. “I.Love.You.” He winks at me.

Suddenly he’s wearing his naughty grin, and I know something X-rated will be coming out that dirty mouth of his soon. “So, since I’m bald and my head is smooth as a baby’s bottom, we have something in common. Wanna guess what it is?”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “I’m almost afraid to ask. But, if I have to guess…” I pause for dramatic effect. “…I’d have to say…” he looks at me hopefully. “…it’s my sexy ass.” It’s my turn to wink at him.

He looks shock. “That’s the best you can come up with, your ass? Not that it’s not great, but there’s this one smooth, wet, tasty, tight…” I cover his mouth as he pulls me closer to him.

“Okay, fine. I’ll say it. It’s my vagina. There, enough said about my vagina and let’s talk about our wedding. So, Brian talked to me about our wedding. Thanks for thinking about everything. I just know it’ll be perfect, but I’d like to know where my wedding will be. Can you, please, tell me? I’m dying to find out,” I say as I kiss the back of his hand.

“Nope, that’s a surprise. Just know it’ll be perfect because of you, babe. It doesn’t matter where. In fact, I don’t care about anything as long as I’ll see your beautiful face walking down the aisle, walking straight toward me, that in itself will be enough for me. I can’t wait to make you officially mine. Can you kiss me right here, please?” He requests, putting his pointer finger on his forehead.

“No problem, Mr. Oliver; one kiss on the forehead coming right up.” I stand up to kiss him.

“Another one.” He grins at me.

“Sure, no problem, Sir. I aim to please.” Letting my lips linger a bit longer.

“Thanks, baby. Can you hand me the bag of Kisses, please.” He grabs three in the bag and hands them to me.

“Already?” I teasingly ask him.

“Of course, now put them in that lovely mouth of yours and start kissing the shit out of me.”

Grabbing my hand, interlacing our fingers. He watches me while I eat my Kisses, focusing on my lips. I’m almost tempted to lick my lips, but stop because I know he’s hanging on by a thread with his self-control. As hard as I try not to think of anything else but him, my mind always goes back to the scary what ifs of our situation. It’s hard being in limbo, not knowing what will happen. It traps my mind and chokes my heart enough to lose sight of the promise I made to him, the promise of being strong and staying strong. How can I do that, when the fear of losing him has a stronghold on me?

Jake

Losing my hair is not the hardest part of this journey. Not even close. I couldn’t care less if I remain bald for the rest of my life as long as I can have an assurance that I’d survive this. However, no one can give me that…and I don’t expect anyone to, anyway. Seeing the three most important women in my life cry for me, shed tears that they shouldn’t, made my heart ache even more. The fierce protector in me somehow always over powers any emotion that runs through me.

When I wake up from my nap, I’m expecting to be hit with nausea, but surprisingly enough, I feel fine. I need to go to the bathroom though, ASAP. I notice I have a boner which makes me chuckle mentally. I think Jake junior is telling me everything is still operational. I mentally do a fist pump in salute to my dick.

“Hey there, handsome. How are you feeling?” Trish’s sweet voice makes my dick even jump up for joy. He’s like a fucking jack in the box.

“Good. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Let’s go then.” I couldn’t help but notice her eagerness, which makes me think she wants a piece of Jake junior.

“Someone’s excited to help me. You want to see something, baby?” Grinning at her, I lean and kiss her on the nose.

“Oh yeah, I’m so excited to see your dick. So, get moving!”

Trish hardly ever instigates anything, so I reach for her hand and let her feel my hard on. My euphoric high comes to a screeching halt when she utters the words that ram through my heart like a freight train.

“How can you be hard? Doesn’t the chemo affect it?”

I look at her, not with contempt or anger, but with great sadness because it brings me back to my reality…my reality I’m trying to escape even for a moment…that I’m sick, and her natural inclination is to think nothing will be as it was.