Unable to Resist (50 page)

Am I capable?

“Sit here, the nurse will be out to get you when your wife is ready.” He points to one lonely chair and shuffles away.

Planting my ass in the small chair, I huff and rub my hands over my face. Slowly counting, to calm my sky-rocketing nerves, I hear a screech. Thinking it’s the nurse to come retrieve me, my head snaps up and I begin to stand, but the hallway is empty. Not one sign of life. The lights are extraordinarily dim, and I wonder how people get around. The other parts of the hospital that I’ve seen are lit like a damn Christmas tree. Why is it so dark in here? A chill runs down my spine.

Holy shit, why the fuck is it so cold?

Shake it off, Duane.
I chastise myself.
It’s just a hospital.

Shaking my head again for the second time in five minutes, I sit up straight and take in my surroundings. Stretchers and hospital beds line the walls, some with sheets, and others bare. The supposed reception desk lacks a computer and a chair. Oh, and a receptionist.

Was there some sort of zombie apocalypse I’m not aware of?

Slow rolling music begins in my head. Any minute now, a zombie is going to walk into the hallway and slowly chase me. Yes, you read that right. Slowly chase me. I don’t know why, but the slower a zombie walks the more terrifying they seem.

“Mr. Rynard? We’re ready for you,” a gentle voice announces, breaking me from my over imaginative thoughts.

Running my hands on the outside of my potato sack, I get up and walk into my future.

As the door opens to the operating room, a cold gust of wind hits me square in the face and I shiver. Ann is lying on a table, with her arms spread out on both sides. She turns her head to the sound of my entrance.

“Hi there, Cowboy.” Her voice is accompanied by a wink.

Her hair is wrapped in a hospital cap, and an oxygen tube runs out of her nose.

I rush to her. “Are you okay? Why do you have oxygen on?”

She gestures for my hand, so I gently place mine in hers, worried I might break her.

“I’m okay, really. They just do this as a precaution.” She looks at me stern. “I’m fine.”

The big blue sheet blocks my view from the rest of room, so I focus on Ann. She looks wide-awake, and ready.

She smiles as the doctor gives her the run down. “You’re going to feel a slight tugging. Try not to move. This’ll all be over soon.”

She nods her head. “Okay, doc. I’m ready when you are.”

Dr. Liddle peeks over the blue sheet. “We’re ready. Let’s get you your baby.”

Lacing our fingers together, we wait.

After three minutes, Ann’s body slightly jostles, and she grunts.

“Slight pull, my ass, doc. You’re pulling my fucking insides out.” Her eyes roll and mine bulge. “I don’t feel anything, Cowboy. It’s alright.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, willing for all of this to be over.

A scream erupts and my eyes snap open.

“It’s a boy!” Dr. Liddle cheers, lifting him up over the sheet so we can get a peek of him before the cleanup team takes him.

He’s a bloody mess, and perfect. I look away from him to Ann. Tears are freely falling from her face, but she’s beaming. I wipe at my own tears and whoop, making the room laugh.

Handing the baby to a nurse, they hurry him to the cleaning station, and begin to wipe him down. “He’s eight pounds, five ounces, twenty-one inches long,” a nurse calls out. “Perfectly healthy. Congratulations!”

I sniffle. “Did you hear that, Red? He’s perfect. You did so good.”

Ann gently pulls me to her. “We did good.”

“Would you like to hold him, mama?” The nurse asks.

Ann eagerly nods her head and reaches for him.

“Does he have a name?” The nurse asks while cuddling our new baby.

Ann and I look at each other, silently agreeing.

Ann wipes at her runny nose, lips shaking. “Kyle—his name is Kyle.”

The nurse nods her head. “What a great name, for such a strong boy. Congratulations, again.”

Because Ann is still on the table, getting stitched up, I help her hold Kyle. He’s got bright blue eyes, and light sandy hair. His chubby cheeks move in and out as he swallows, and I’m mesmerized.

“Hi, fella,” Ann coo’s, “I’m your mama.” Then, she points to me. “That’s your dad. We are so lucky to have him. Welcome to the world. We love you so much.”

Like the manly man I am, I choke back a happy sob, and cover my mouth. “Hi, buddy.” I bring my hand to his face.

Wiggling in his little cocoon, his hand snakes out and he grabs my finger.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Dr. Liddle says from behind me. “I’ve never seen a baby do that in all of my thirty five years of practicing. You’ve got a special boy there, you two.”

He bends to kiss Ann on the forehead, much like a grandfather would. “I’ll check back in on you in a bit. They’re finishing cleaning you up, and you should be in recovery in a few minutes.” Rubbing my shoulder, he gives me an encouraging squeeze, and leaves the room.

My eyes haven’t left Kyle since the nurse brought him over. Every second he sits in my arms is unbelievable. A gift.

After Ann is able to leave the recovery room, they take her back to our room where we’ll be staying for the next few days. When the doors open, Liv, Aiden and their two-year old daughter Evie are sitting on the windowsill, waiting for us.

Pregnant with their second daughter, Liv wobbles over to Ann, opening her arms for a hug.

Aiden and Liv got married shortly after Ann and I did. On a whim, they decided to go to the courthouse and get hitched. They love each other like Ann and I do. We are simply two brothers who fell in love with best friends and we both love every second of it.

Ann and Liv still run James Place, downtown. The business has picked up so much that they opened a second location a year ago. Mia runs that shop with her husband, whom she met at the very same concert I sang to Ann at.
Small world.
Jake was in his last year of graduate school at the time, earning his masters in business, so it made sense to turn the shop over to them when the time came.

Ann still sings. We built her a studio in the house where she writes and produces songs for up and coming artists in the area.

Shortly after I proposed to Ann, I quit my job as a lawyer. Dedicating my life to the ranch made sense and I’ve never been happier with my work life. The hay farm has expanded so much that we now provide hay to every dairy in Tennessee. Business is good.

Life—life is good.

It’s moments like these when you begin to appreciate all of the hell you went through and endured because it only made you better. It made you stronger. It made you who you are today. Find a way to thank the people who made your life miserable. Make them understand that, because of the shit they put you through, you refuse to back down. Live your life to prove them wrong. Live to prove yourself right. It only takes one second to change your future. So, follow your heart. Take the time to laugh, and play—find the good in every moment.

Like Kyle taught Ann, and Ann taught me, we have to let life in. Open that door and give it a home.

Don’t resist your wants—find a way to make
your
life a priority. Stop living for others. The secret to life isn’t one specific thing; it differs from person to person. Discover
your
secret, find your purpose. It’s out there; you just have to be open to finding it.

“Hey, guys,” Aiden says, pulling me into a hug. “Congratulations.”

Liv’s already got Kyle in her arms, cooing. Talking sweetly, she smiles down at him. “Hello, Kyle Conrad Rynard, it’s nice to meet you.” Her eyes shift to me. “It really is wonderful that you named him Kyle, Duane. You’re a great man for honoring him like that.”

I shrug a shoulder, nonchalantly. It was never a question if we were going to name our boy Kyle, it was a given. He deserved the honor.

I look to Ann, her hand clutching her heart as she watches all of the people who love her willingly welcoming this small person into our world.

This is
her
secret. This is
our
secret.

Her eyes find mine, and I mouth, ‘I love you.’

She mouths back, ‘always and forever.’

“He’ll wear the name well,” I add to Aiden.

“That he will, brother. That he will.”

THE END

First and foremost, I want to thank my husband. He encouraged me to write this story even before I had the nerve to put it down on paper. He pushed me daily, and continuously told me that I could chase my dream because I was good enough. And who can deny a man like him? He’s funny, compassionate and umm, hi? Gorgeous! He inspired me to write Duane and Ann’s love story. I live this kind of love every day. I’m so thankful for you, baby. I love you, my sweet Yapa. Forever and always.

To my daughter. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for showing me love that I didn’t know existed. Everything I do, I do in hopes that it’ll make you proud. You make my life better. Mama loves you. PS, you better not read this book until you’re old enough.
☺

Mom. Honestly, what can I say? Jesus, that is so cliché. But, you’re an amazing woman. You’ve had to be both mom and dad, and you never once complained. Thank you for never flat out telling me, I’m a moody bitch—because we all know I am, and maybe even a little crazy. And, I have to admit, even though you read this genre, and love it like I do; I’m going to freak out a little when you read it. If I can’t look you in the eye for a few days after you finish, you’ll know why. I love you, mama. Thank you for encouraging me to chase my dreams. I only hope I can help make your dreams come true one day.

April Hundza Gutierrez. You’ve been my best friend—no, you’ve been my sister since we were thirteen and fighting over hot boys in biology class. You’ve seen me at my lowest and been there for my highest. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ll forever be my family. You took on this project, not knowing what you got yourself into and I can’t thank you enough for believing in my dream and coming along for the ride. Your editing and advice made this whole experience easier, and so much better. Thank you for being a part of the writing process. Duane sang one hell of a song for Ann, thank you co-writer. I love you.

Kandi Steiner. My Big, my friend. I heart the shit out of you. You are a shining light in my world. In the short amount of time we’ve known each other, you’ve become one of my closest friends. I look up to you. It’s that simple. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve helped me navigate this crazy world, and let’s be honest; I’d be a wreck without you. You are my compass, and I’m thankful. <3 I love you. Also, she wrote a badass book, and has another in the works. Tag Chaser is perfection. Buy it, read it, LOVE it.

http://www.amazon.com/Kandi-Steiner/e/B00JDJOINE/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Her Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/KandiSteiner?ref=br_tf

Ashlei Davison and Jess Vogel, you girls seriously rock my world. Your encouragement to read my work is humbling. Knowing I have magnificent women like you two in my corner makes this endeavor seem less daunting. You opened your hearts and your minds to Duane and Ann’s world without a second thought. I thank you, so damn much. I love you! Chop clot, botches! CCBUnite!