Unable to Resist (49 page)

I stand from the swing, and bend on one knee, producing my grandmother’s antique ring. Diamonds halo the five-karat middle round stone adding vintage glamour to the rose gold braided band. It’s the most elegant ring I’ve ever come across. I twist it in my fingers, and watch Ann’s eyes grow wide.

“Ann Daniels, I’ve loved you,” I clear my throat, tears threatening to spill from my eyes, “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. You stole my heart the first night I watched you sing on stage. You’ve shown me love in its truest form. In the short time I’ve known you, you’ve become my best friend, my love, my life. Please, will you make me the luckiest man on this earth and promise to marry me?”

Slipping the ring onto her finger, I revel in its perfect fit. Cupping her right hand in front of her trembling mouth, tears fall from Ann’s eyes. She brings her left hand in front of her face, and exclaims, “Yes, Duane Rynard. I’ll marry you. Yesterday.”

I stand and bring her into my embrace.

“I’m going to make you so happy, Red,” I promise into her neck.

She wraps her hands around my body. “I know. Thank you for fixing me.”

I kiss her salty lips, and laugh. “You were never broken. I just had to help you realize it.”

Three years later…

“Uhh, Cowboy,” Ann mutters from the living room of our home, just across the lake from Aiden’s house. We moved in just a little over two years ago, and every day I walk through the door is a blessing.

We got married seven months after I proposed on that rickety porch. With a preacher, Jason, Mia, Liv and Aiden, I made her officially mine under our old oak tree. It was picture-perfect. Ann was breathtaking. In a simple off-white, lace dress that flared at her waist, she looked angelic walking down the aisle. My breath still hitches when I think about seeing her for the first time, stepping out of her red truck, cowboy boots first.

“Cowboy!” Ann yells again, snapping me out of my thoughts. Hauling my ass down the stairs, I find my very-pregnant wife sitting on the couch, clutching her swollen belly. “I think it’s time.”

My heart skips a beat. “What? You mean the baby’s coming. Now?”

Despite her obvious discomfort, she snorts and rubs her aching belly. “Yes, sweet boy. He or she is coming soon. Maybe sooner if we don’t get a move on it—we should get going.”

My brain shifts into Papa Mode. We’ve taken all the classes and gone to all of Ann’s check-ups. I bound up the stairs to retrieve the hospital bag, knowing it’s the only thing we really need.

The drive to the hospital is too bumpy for my taste. Ann winches at every pothole and I pretend it doesn’t break my heart a little every time it happens.

I quickly find a parking spot and run to Ann on the passenger side. “You okay?” I ask.

Clutching my hand enough to break it, she breathes through an intense contraction. Counting to ten, she opens her eyes and smiles.

“Yeah, let’s just get in there. You ready, Daddy?”

I lovingly rub her stomach and kiss her. “Yes ma’am. Let’s go have our baby.”

We didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby. And, when I say we, I mean Ann didn’t want to learn it before the birth. I tried my hardest to talk and persuade her into it, but the woman wouldn’t budge. Not that that’s surprising.

With Ann waddling like the most adorable penguin next to me, I swiftly take her hand and lead her to the hospital entrance.

The woman sitting at the desk in the maternity ward looks up at us and doesn’t bat an eyelash at my growing panic. “Umm—hi, my wife is about to have our baby,” I ramble.

Obviously she’s about to have a baby. I’m an idiot.

The blonde receptionist lifts her eyes slightly before producing paperwork. With doctor-like clarity, I fill in all the blanks. Ann gently places her hand on my shaking fingers.

“Hey, Cowboy. Everything is okay. Take deep breaths.”

I shake my head and finish the paperwork. “You’re the one having the baby and I’m having a freak out. This is backwards. I’m sorry, baby. I just worry about you,” I say as I hand the papers back to the woman behind the desk.

She cups my face. “I know, and that’s why I love you so much, but I’ve got this. We’ve got this.” She rubs her belly in circles as another contraction hits.

“Shiiiiit,” she drags out the word, clutching my hand.

The old ladies sitting in the waiting room raise their eyebrows at us and I wave, giving them a smile. That’s my wife. Sailor-mouth and all.

“In through your nose and out with your mouth, baby,” I sweetly instruct. She nods her head and does as I say. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Breathe, Red.” As the contraction lessens, the clouds in her eyes disperse and she leans into my side.

“Fuck me, that was harsh. I don’t want to do this anymore.” She stops, looking me in the eyes, a smile playing on her lips. “Yep, I’ve decided. The baby can stay in here for a while more.” She points to her basketball-sized stomach. “Give me some pain medicine and let’s go home. He or she can come out in a few years.”

I snicker and kiss her temple. “You want a three year old in your body just walking around?” I ask. The visual sends me into a fit of laughter.

She narrows her eyes and smiles. “Okay, so maybe that’s irrational, but—ouch—fuck, Duane.” She cries as another contraction hits.

I grab both of her hands. “You can do this baby. Breathe. Deep breaths.”

The receptionist calls over to us, “Mr. and Mrs. Rynard, her contractions are coming fast, let’s get her back to a room, now.”

Ann and I nod our heads and follow her through the swinging double doors, hand-in-hand.

Opening the door to our private room, Ann immediately heads to the bed and lies down.

“What do I need to do?” I ask the nurse, scared shitless. Standing next to Ann, I grab her hand in mine. I just need to feel her. Having her hand in mine makes me feel like I can somehow take her pain away.

The nurse surprises me and places one hand on my shoulder and her other on Ann’s shoulder. “Ann,” she looks to my pained wife in the bed, “the on-call doctor, Dr. Liddle will be here to see you in a few minutes. Get undressed and put the hospital gown on.”

She points to the folded fabric next to the bed on the table. “Mr. Rynard, you’re doing everything you need to. You’re going to be great parents,” she assures. With a kind smile, she leaves us to our baby-having business.

“Come on, Red, let’s get you undressed,” I suggest.

She groans. “Ugh, that’s the first time you’ve said those words and mind-blowing sex didn’t follow.” She pouts, “This sucks.”

I chuckle and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guarantee the next time we have sex, I’ll rock your fucking world. It’ll blow your mind, but right now, you need to focus. Fuck—”

I start to visualize taking her in different ways. It’s been about two weeks since we’ve had sex, and that’s long overdue for us.

“Dammit, okay.” I shake my head of those thoughts. “Stand up and I’ll close my eyes for fuck’s sake.”

Ann laughs, and shakes her ass.

Even almost ten months pregnant, she turns me on. “Fucking minx.”

She sheds her shirt. “You know it.”

I quickly turn away. Her enlarged breasts stand proud on her chest and my hands long to touch them.

“Need help?” I call over my shoulder.

“Nope.” I hear her pants hit the floor. “I’m okay, Cowboy. You can turn around now.”

I take a deep breath, turn and find her back in bed, with a light blue gown on.

I go to her side. “You’re absolutely astonishing, you know that?”

Her lips quiver slightly. “I can’t believe we’re here. This doesn’t seem real. How did this become my life? I have you and we’re about to have a baby. A baby. It’s just so different how I pictured my life would turn out.”

I wipe a fallen tear from the apple of her cheek. “Yeah, you’d be an old cat lady by now,” I kid.

She slaps my arm and smiles. “Shut up. I love you.”

“I love you. Always,” I reply.

She kisses my hand. “Forever.”

Her next contraction begins when the doctor walks in. “Hi, Rynards,” he greets with a warm smile, walking to shake my hand. “Good to meet you, Duane.”

I shake it. “Sir. Nice to meet you.”

He looks to Ann. “Hi sweetheart. You hangin’ in there? Let’s get a look at the baby and see how he or she is doing, yeah?”

Ann gives a thumbs up, still contracting as Dr. Liddle wheels the sonogram machine over to the side of the bed. Covering up Ann’s legs with a light blanket, he pulls her gown up around her breasts. Squirting the warm lubricant onto her belly, the machine comes to life. The doctor takes the wand, moving it around her belly. A few seconds pass when our sweet baby appears on the screen. Small and tiny, I fight the urge to cry. It’s one thing to see it on the screen every month, but knowing the baby is about to be born is enough to wobble my world on its axis.

“How’s he doing, doc?” Ann asks, and I quirk an eyebrow at her.

“He?”

She smiles, her eyes sparkling from un-shed tears. “I think it’s a boy.”

“You do, huh?”

She grins. “Yep. It’s a boy. Strong, sweet, loyal and perfect. Just like his dad.”

Taking the back of my knuckles, I gently caress her face.

“Guys,” the doctor chimes in, “I don’t want you to panic, but the baby’s heart rate is a little high, and climbing. I’d like to do an emergency C-section right away, with your consent.”

Panic flares in my body, and I look to Ann. She looks about the same as me.

“Okay.” She looks to Dr. Liddle. “Is he going to be okay?”

He.

The doctor looks certain. “Everything will be fine. Both you and the baby are in great hands, but we have to get going now. I’ll have the nurses prepare the room, and someone will come get you when it’s ready.” He clasps Ann’s hand, giving encouragement, before heading out.

Wiping my hands down my jeans, I sit next to Ann on the bed. “You okay?”

She looks anxious, but she smiles. “I think. This is a major surgery, but I’m worried about the baby. Let’s get him out, and I’ll be happy.”

I nod my head, and rub my thumb on the inside of her hand until the nurse comes to wheel Ann out to the operating room.

Her eyes begin to water. “I love you, Cowboy. I’ll see you in there.” The bed begins to move out of the door.

“I love you, too,” I mutter when Ann’s hand slips from mine.

Straightaway, my hand feels cold and tingly. Had I been holding her hand so tight that it was numb and I just now realized? I open and close my hand a few times to regain circulation.

I should be with her.

I wouldn’t be much help. I hate needles. From the articles I’ve read, this particular needle is anything but little.

My heart left on that hospital bed.

I run my hands through my hair and pace the room.

A wide-eyed looking teenager in green scrubs walks through the door and hands me a cloth-like suit to put on over my clothes.

“You want me to wear this? It looks like I’m about to step into a potato sack,” I rant. Really, as I pull it over my jeans and t-shirt, it hangs off of me so much that I’m sure I could fit at least two of me in here.

The teenage-looking nurse-man snickers at me and shrugs. “Don’t forget the shoe covers, and cap as well. When you get in there, try not to touch anything.”

I grunt in agreement. “Can I at least touch my wife?”

The nurse-man heads toward the door and pushes the hand sanitizer button. The liquid pools into his hands and he rubs them together. “Yes, of course. Hold her hand, kiss her, do what you need to, but if you’re squeamish, I wouldn’t look over the blue sheet. It’s not something you really want to see.”

With that, he pushes on the door and gestures for me to follow him.

What’s going to happen on the other side of the sheet?

Alright, that’s a stupid question. I’ve seen what happens, but I’m sure TV romanticizes it a bit. Do I even want to contemplate? I shake my head of all horrific possible scenarios and follow the nurse-man.

Walking out of the confines of our room, reality slaps me in the face. Hard. I’m about to be a dad. I’ll forever be someone’s father. Someone’s kid—my kid—will look up to me. I’m going to attempt to mold this little person’s life as best I can.