UN-RELATED (UN-RELATED SERIES) (9 page)

“You can use mine until you get a new one.”

“I couldn’t do that, but thank you, anyway.”

“It’s okay, I don’t have anyone to call. It’s a ‘pay as you go’ phone, so he can just help you add minutes. I’ll go to my room so you can talk.”

I smiled up at him and whispered, “Thanks.”

I dialed his phone number, but it just kept ringing. It was Saturday morning, so he wasn’t in class, which meant he refused to answer because he didn’t recognize the number…or he was with
her
,” I shut the phone after leaving a brief message asking him to call me back at that number.

I walked down the hall searching for Tyler. His door was open and he was laying on his bed, staring out the window. He looked as miserable as I felt.

I stared at him and realized I wasn’t the only one who was growing up. He must have grown two inches over that last year and he had definitely filled out as well. He was very broad in the shoulders and as I stared at him, I realized he had turned into a very attractive young man. I had noticed that he had a lot more friends lately, and most of them female. I realized then that if my heart didn’t belong to Kellan, I would have been very lucky to be with
Tyler, and not just because he had grown into a handsome young man, but because he was genuinely a wonderful person.

“Hi. I think I’ll take you up on that offer to borrow your phone, at least for a day or two, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, sitting up on the edge of bed.

“Um, so how are you?” I asked nervously.

“Fine. I’m good. What about you?” he asked, staring down at the phone in my hand.

“Um, good, I guess. I should probably go now. I don’t want to keep you from anything,” I said and started to leave.

“Abby! Don’t go. We’re still friends, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I just don’t want…”

“I know, it’s okay. I just miss you. I miss hanging out with you. We don’t even have one class together this semester.”

“I know. You’re um, you’re taking hard classes this year; too hard for me.”

“Stop selling yourself short, Abby. You’re very intelligent. I’m just taking college prep classes this year. I’m graduating this June, in case you didn’t know,” he grinned and walked over to me.

“Yeah, I know.” I was feeling strange around him suddenly. I blushed as he towered over me and reached down to brush the hair out of my eyes.

He sighed and said, “So, how’s Kellan?” and he sat back down on the edge of his bed.

“I um, I don’t know. He didn’t answer. I left a message. My um, foster parents, changed our phone number, again.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It has something to do with Nancy and Kellan. She hates him for some reason, and he hates her…for so many reasons.”

“Hmm. Well, keep the phone for as long as you need it. I really don’t use it much. No one to call.” I think that was his way of saying he missed talking to me.

“Okay. Thanks. I guess I should probably get home, now.”

“Can I walk you home? No strings attached, I promise. Just friends.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

He smiled at me and we headed out the door together. He walked me home and chatted about nothing in particular. By the time we got to my house, it felt like old times. We were laughing and joking with each other. We said our goodbyes and he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him the next day. “Just as a friend. My treat,” he smiled.

“Sounds like a date,
Tyler.”

“I only said ‘my treat’ because I know you don’t have a lot of cash.”

“I can pay for a movie. I’d love to go. I need to get out of here,” I smiled.

“Great, it’s a da…I’ll see you tomorrow,” he laughed.

I paced my room, waiting for Nancy and Joe to leave the house so I could call Kellan. I felt horrible for being so mean during our last conversation. I missed him so much. I realized I needed him to understand why I was so upset about his ‘job,’ and I knew the only way he would understand was if I told him. I knew he still thought of me as a kid, but I was growing up and I knew what I was feeling for him was nothing like what a sister felt for a brother. And, as soon as Nancy and Joe left the house, I pulled out
Tyler’s phone and quickly dialed Kellan’s number to tell him the truth…before I lost my nerve.

“Abby?”

“Hi. Yeah, it’s me. Nancy found my phone. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I knew it would happen. I’ll send you another one, okay?”

“Okay. How are you? I’m really sorry about the other night. I didn’t mean…”

“I know. It’s okay. I’m glad you understand…”

“I don’t understand, but I guess you had to do what you had to do. I just, I um,” I took a deep breath and said, “I love you, and I can’t stand to think of you…with anyone,” I sighed, relieved that I finally told him how I really felt about him.

“I love you, too, Abby. We’ll always be friends, and I’ll always be there for you…”

“No, Kellan. I don’t love you…like a friend. I’m
in
love
…with you. I have been for a long time.”

The other end of the phone was silent. I knew he was surprised, although, he really shouldn’t have been. I had never been able to hide my feelings for him.

Finally, he said, “Abby, I’m flattered, really. But, we’re friends…nothing more. I told you that I’d always be there for you, and I meant it. But I don’t think of you…like that.”

“I’m growing up, Kellan. I’m not that little girl, anymore. And, we’re not related. Some day you’re going to have to stop thinking of me as your little sister. I know you don’t feel that way for me now, but I’m going to change your mind,” I said with conviction, more than I felt.

“Abby, like I said, I’m flattered, but you’ll
always
be my little sister,” he sighed because he knew he was going to hurt me, “…and nothing more.”

“I know you think I’m still that little girl you bought training bras for, but I’m not…”

“Abby, STOP! I don’t want to hurt you, but you have to listen to me. You will always be that little girl to me. I could never think of you as anything more. It’s just a crush, believe me. You’ll find the right guy, you will.”

“I did find the right guy,” I said, my voice quivering.

“It’s not me. It never will be. I’m sorry, but I won’t lie to you. I love you, I do, but not like you want me to, or you think you want me to.”

“I’ll change your mind…when you come home,” I cried.

“I um, I’m not coming home, Abby. This is my home, now. I will visit, when I can. But, there’s nothing in L.A. for me.”

I was crushed…and heart broken. I couldn’t find my voice. Finally, I whispered, “I’m here.”

“Oh, Abby, I didn’t mean…” he sighed again. “Look, I told you that I’d always be there for you, and I meant it. When you’re older, you’ll understand. Maybe when you’re 18, you can come visit me here. You’ll love it. It’s beautiful.”

“I thought you didn’t like it there, that you were only there to finish school?” I sniffled, trying not to break down on the phone.

“I’ve um, I’ve changed my mind.”

“Are you just saying that to stay away…from me, now?” I cried.

“No, of course not. Look, I know you think you love…”

“I don’t
think
I love you, Kellan, I know I love you. I always will,” I admitted unashamedly.

“You’ll change your mind, and you’ll find someone better than me…someone who deserves a girl as wonderful as you. I better go, Abby. I have some work to do,” he said softly, knowing he broke my heart.

“What kind of work?” I asked, crying openly now.

“Abby, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I really am. I do love you, and I always will. Just, please understand…”

I hung up the phone and threw myself down on my bed. I cried all night, and into the next morning. Kellan repeatedly called me back, but I finally shut off the phone and continued to cry well into the afternoon.

It was almost four o’clock and I forced myself to get up to relieve myself when I heard pounding on the front door.

“Abby! Abby, are you okay?” Tyler yelled through the front door.

I looked through the ratty curtains and ignored him for a few minutes. He wasn’t giving up, however, and he kept yelling for me and turning the door knob. “I know you’re in there. You stood me up. Open the door, please?” he begged.

I knew he was as stubborn as I was, so I finally opened the door.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking very worried.

“I um, I don’t feel well. Can we do the movie some other time?” I asked, trying to keep my tears at bay and my red, swollen eyes out of his view.

“He’s sorry, Abby. He didn’t mean to hurt you. You should call him, he’s very worried about you…we both are.”

“What?” I asked, finally facing him.

“Kellan called me. He’s been calling you non-stop, but you shut off the phone.”

“He called you?” I asked.

“Yeah,
he called my house. He’s really worried. He said to tell you he was sorry and that nothing’s changed. He still loves you.”

This only made me cry harder and I ran to my room and threw myself down on my bed.

Tyler stood in my doorway, afraid to cross the threshold, but worried about me nonetheless. “Abby, can I come in, please?” he asked.

“No, go away.”

He ignored my pleas and slowly made his way to my bed and sat down next to me. “I’m sorry, Abby. I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I wish I could say something to make you feel better,” he said and gently touched my back.

“You can’t. Just leave, please. He doesn’t…love me…he doesn’t…want me…”

“He does love you, Abby. Just not like you want him too…not like I do.”

I was too upset to talk to him just then, but he stayed and rubbed my back while I cried. I must have cried for over an hour, because before I knew it, the room was getting dark. I knew it was time to get up and do…something, I just didn’t know what. I finally sat up at the side of the bed and wiped my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and looked over at
Tyler. He was so nice to me, much nicer than I deserved.

“Thank you for staying with me, you didn’t have to.”

“Yes I did. What was I supposed to do, leave you here suffering all alone? Abby, it’s going to be okay, really. It’s not like you lost him. He’s still the same person he’s always been. He still loves you. Nothing’s really changed, has it?” he asked me softly, carefully.

I thought about what he said and realized he was right. Nothing
had
changed, and although I wanted things to change…or move forward with Kellan, Tyler was right that I hadn’t lost him, that he still loved me…even if it was like a little sister. “I guess being his little sister is better than not having him in my life at all, isn’t it?”

Tyler
touched my cheek and smiled, “Yeah. So, why don’t you call him, I’m sure he’s worried himself sick. He needs to hear that you’re alright. I’ll wait in the living room.”

“No, it’s okay. There’s nothing you can’t hear…besides, it is your phone,” I gave him a half smile.

“Now, that’s the Abby I know.”

I reached under my pillow and turned the cell phone back on. I started to dial Kellan’s number, but it rang before I could dial the first number.

“Abby! Oh, thank God. Why haven’t you answered your phone? I’ve been worried sick. Are you okay?”

I looked up at
Tyler and smiled. I whispered, “You were right, he worried himself sick.”

He simply nodded.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry I worried you. I shut off my phone.”

He sighed and said, “Don’t ever do that to me again, you got it?”

“Yeah, I got it. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear…earlier. You have to understand…”

“I do. It’s okay, Kellan, really. I’m fine. You’re right, it was just a silly girl crush,” I said, forcing the words through my lips, even though I knew that it was the first time I had actually lied to him.

“Abby, I didn’t say that. I know you think you feel more for me than you do, but you’ll realize one day that I’m not the right one for you. You deserve so much better.”

“There is no one better. But, I understand, and I won’t bother you with it again. Can we please just go back to the way it was?” I asked and then looked over at Tyler, knowing those were the exact words he’d said to me earlier.

“Sounds great. Did
Tyler find you, or did you just call?”

“He found me.”

“Okay. Tell him thanks…and I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

We hung up and I think Kellan was almost as grateful as I was to have that conversation behind us. I smiled up at Tyler and said, “So, are you still up for that movie?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” he smiled and reached for my hand to help me up.