UN-RELATED (UN-RELATED SERIES) (18 page)

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried, I just didn’t want to hurt you,” I said and looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

“When?”

“When, what?” I asked, confused.

“When are you going to…sleep with him, if you really haven’t already?”

“Tyler, please don’t do this…”

“WHEN?” he shouted.

“This summer,” I whispered.

“Seven weeks?” he asked, turning back to face me.

I looked up at him and nodded.

“Goodbye, Abby.”

“Tyler…I’m so sorry,” I cried and ran to him.

“No, you’re not. You got what you wanted…or you will in seven weeks. What I don’t understand is, if you knew you were breaking up with me, why did you kiss me…like that?”

I looked away, ashamed. I didn’t know how to answer his question.

He walked over to me and lifted my chin. He must have seen the guilt in my eyes, because he said, “You weren’t kissing me, were you? Tonight, that night at the restaurant and that night on your porch…you were kissing him.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I said, through tears.

“I loved you…I still love you. I’ve always been there. How could you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help who I love any more than you can.”

I could see the pain turning to anger and suddenly he grabbed my arms and kissed me hard. I pulled away, or tried to, but he was strong. He finally pulled back and said, “Tonight was supposed to be
our
night. And, if it was so easy imagining you were kissing Kellan, then maybe you can imagine sleeping with him, too,” he said and pulled me to him tighter.

“
Tyler, stop! Stop it!” I said while turning my head this way and that to resist him.

“Why? You promised me. You said you’d make it up to me…tonight.”

“Tyler, please let go, you’re hurting me.”

“Why can’t you love me? It’s supposed to be me!” He was kissing me again, and he pushed me back toward my bed.
             

“
Tyler stop! This isn’t you.” He covered my mouth with his and pushed me back onto the bed. 

“I was supposed to be your first…you promised me.”

“Tyler, you’re hurting me! Please, stop. You’re not thinking straight.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing. This is my birthday present…” he said and went back to kissing me.

“Ow, you’re hurting me! Stop, please!” I demanded, desperately trying to get free of his grasp.

“You owe me!” he said and glared down at me with a look I didn’t recognize. I knew he was hurt and angry…and he had every right to be. But I had to get through to him.

“Tyler, please, do you really want me…like this?”

“I want you…I’ve always wanted you, even when no one else did. I’ve always loved you and been there for you.”

“You’re right, and you also said that you’d never hurt me. You’re hurting me now.”

“Just one night, Abby, please?” he pleaded, but he was still holding me down.

“I can’t…I’m sorry. I know you love me, but this isn’t you. You don’t want me like this…” I looked deep into his eyes, “This isn’t you, Tyler. You would never hurt me,” I was still crying, but now fear was mixed in with the guilt.

He sat up slowly, regaining his composure. “I’m sorry, Abby. I’m so sorry,” he said, with tears in his eyes. 

I sat up and took a few deep breaths, grateful to have the real Tyler back. We both scooted to the edge of the bed and stopped when we heard my phone vibrating on the carpet.             

He sighed, “Well, I guess he’ll be killing me after all…”

“He’ll never know…I promise,” I said.

He looked at me and nodded. “I um, I’ll go now.”

“Tyler, I know I haven’t been very good at keeping my promises to you, but I swear…he’ll never know…about this. It wasn’t you, Tyler, I know that. For what it’s worth, I really do love you.”

“Goodbye Abby. Take care of yourself.”

I nodded and watched as he walked out of my room and I waited until I heard the front door close before I walked over and picked up my phone.

“Did you tell him?” he asked before I even said hello.

“No, actually,
you
told him,” I said through the tears.

“What?”

“I found him sitting on my bed, reading your text when I came out of the bathroom,” my voice was shaking, and I couldn’t stop crying.

“What was he doing on your bed?”

“THAT’S what you got out of this conversation? Kellan, I just broke his heart.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you.”

“Worry about him. I’m fine…I guess.”

“Abby, if you love him…”

“I love you. I want you. I just feel so bad for him. I know exactly how he feels.”

“How could you know that?”

“Because that’s exactly how I felt when you left with Brianna.”

“Abby…I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You were only…”

“A kid, I know. But, I’m not a kid anymore. I really hurt him…”

“If you don’t love him, and you don’t want to be with him, then you weren’t doing him any favors by staying with him.”

“You’re right, I know that. He just looked so…hurt and angry…”

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“He um, he just…left,” I said, which was true, he had just left.

“So, you’re okay?”

“I’m okay. I don’t know what to say to him at school tomorrow.”

“My guess is you won’t have to say anything.”

“Why?”

“I doubt he’ll go. Give him some time, he’ll come around. He can’t stay mad forever, well, at you, anyway. I’m sure he hates me even more now. You didn’t tell him…about…”

“He read your text Kellan. He kind of figured it out.”

He sighed, “I’m sorry, Abby. I wish I was there with you.”

“Me, too,” I said as the tears started again.

Kellan was right, I didn’t have to face Tyler the next day because he didn’t come to school. I thought about stopping by his house on the way home, but decided I should listen to Kellan and give him some time.

He did come to school the next day, however, and he managed to completely ignore me. People were starting to ask questions, as it was the first time
Tyler hadn’t spent every free moment with me at school.

“Hi, um, so is it true?” Justin Copeland asked me.

“Is what true?”

“Did you and Tyler break up?”

I sighed, “He um, he broke it off with me,” I lied, trying to make it easier on Tyler.

“I don’t buy that for a minute. No guy in his right mind would ever walk away from you. Um, I’m sure you’re not ready to date anyone else yet, but I just wanted to tell you that if and when you’re ready, I’d love to take you out, Abby.”

I blushed and said, “Thank you. I um, I appreciate the offer, but…I can’t.”

“I don’t mean now, I mean…oh, I get it. Your…um, I don’t know what to call him…he’s not your brother, but that guy…”

“Kellan,” I said.

“Yeah, Kellan. Is it him? Is he why you broke up with
Tyler? I’m sorry, it’s none of my business, but anyone could tell you were pretty crazy about him.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, okay. I get it. You’re not ready to talk. Well, I have broad shoulders if you need some to cry on. No strings attached, okay?”

I nodded while trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Kellan’s a hell of a lucky guy. I hope he knows it.”

I watched the star quarterback walk away and then turned around and ran right into
Tyler.

“I’m sorry,” I said, while picking up the book I dropped.

He walked on by without a word.

“
Tyler! Please talk to me…” I begged, and followed along behind him.

“You said enough. I told you, you got what you wanted. And, you’re not sorry.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. Please believe me.”

He kept walking, refusing to look back or even acknowledge me.

It was a long three weeks, but I finally managed to corner
Tyler in the lunchroom.

“You have to talk to me!”

“I don’t
have
to do anything.”

“Please? Don’t you know how much I hate myself for hurting you? I swear, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Then why did you start dating me in the first place?”

“It just…happened. We were friends, and it happened. I never lied to you about the way I felt about Kellan. You knew from the start that if I ever had a chance to be with him, I would take it. I just never thought…”

“You never thought you’d have a chance.”

“No,” I answered.

“Well, it looks like you got your chance. I’m so happy for you,” he said with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

“
Tyler, we’ve been friends for years. Please don’t shut me out of your life,” I begged.

“Abby,
you
were my life…now there’s nothing for me. I am happy for you, really. I know you love him. I just wished you felt that way about me. He better be good to you…” he said with moist eyes.

I reached up and hugged him. “Don’t hate me, please. I couldn’t bear it.”

“I don’t hate you, Abby. I love you.” He hugged me back. “If it doesn’t work out, I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.” He pulled back and looked down at me, “He’d be an idiot to give you up.”

He walked away from me then, but the next few weeks were a little easier. We had managed to become friends again. It was different now, we both knew that, but neither of us wanted to lose the other.

I went to
Tyler’s graduation to support and congratulate him. I was surprised to find Jeannette Valentine at his side. She was holding onto his arm for dear life and I couldn’t help but notice the glare she gave me when I hugged him.

“Hi Jeannette, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m great now that I have Tyler!” she said, letting me know in no uncertain terms that she had laid claim to him.

Tyler
took my arm and said, “Jeannette, I’ll be right back, okay?”

She nodded but didn’t look too happy that we were going off on our own to talk.

“Congratulations Tyler. I um, I’m going to miss you next year. So, are you going to Seattle?”

“No, it just wouldn’t be the same…without you, even though you didn’t want to go.”

“I think you should go. It’s what you always wanted. I’ll miss you,” I said with tears starting.  “…but please don’t give up your dream because of me.”

“I don’t know…I’ll think about it. I have a few weeks before I have to decide. You must be excited;
he’ll
be here in less than a week, won’t he?”

“Three days,” I said softly. 
             

“I meant what I said, I’ll always love you. If you ever need me, for anything…”

I hugged him and said, “Thank you. Be happy, you deserve it.”

I walked away and Jeannette immediately ran to
Tyler’s side. I looked back and she had thrown herself in his arms and was kissing him. I guess he wasn’t going to have to wait too long for her to be ready, if he had waited at all. I thought I would be jealous, but I wasn’t. I hoped he was happy, but as I turned around one last time to wave, he was still staring at me and Jeannette looked very irritated. She was a cheerleader with a bad reputation, and I hoped he knew what he was doing. Something told me they wouldn’t last.

“How were your finals?” I asked Kellan the night before he was flying home.

“Fine.”

“Just fine, or did you ace them like you usually do?” I said, knowing he had.

“I did okay,” he said quietly.

“What time does your flight get in?” I asked Kellan that night.

“Three-thirty. Abby, we need to talk…”

“Don’t you dare start with me. Please, don’t tell me that you’re going back on your promise.”

“I…I just want to talk.”

“Okay, but you’re not going to change my mind, if that’s what you think.”

“No, I’ve given up on that. You’re even more stubborn than I am.” He sounded different, worried. Neither of us said anything for a minute and I wondered why he sounded so odd.

“Kellan, you do
want
to be with me, don’t you?” I realized I had never given him the option, I just assumed he wanted me. I sat there shaking, waiting for his reply.

When he didn’t say anything, I said, “Was I wrong? Did I just want you so badly that I imagined you watching me…staring at me? Oh, God…” I was suddenly terrified that I was doing the same thing to him that
Tyler had done to me.