Trying to Survive (The Kiser #1) (22 page)

    
I couldn’t contain my happiness.
 
I shucked my pants off and crawled up the bed until my knees were beside
her neck.
 
As I rubbed my dick on her
lips, I said, “Open up.”
 
As she did, I
surged forward, making sure I didn’t hurt her.
 
“Ah, suck it sweetheart.
 
Ah, that
feels so good.
 
Suck it harder
baby.”
 
Looking down to watch her mouth
around me, I almost lost it.
 
I didn’t
want to cum in her mouth so I pulled out, lined up my dick with her pussy and
plunged forward.
 
I pounded into her with
a fever I’d never had before.
 
With one
last thrust, I held her legs and pushed in as far as I could possible go and
then released into her pussy as I grunted her name.

****

    
What this man could do to me, to my body.
 
We had just had great sex, and as I lay here
with my head on his shoulder, I thought about how nice it was, nice to have
someone to hold me.
 
I didn’t realize how
much I had missed this until now.
 
I now
knew that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone.
 
Feeling content and satisfied, I must have
fallen asleep.
 
When I opened my eyes,
the clock said 10:50 and my chest was tight.
 
Jumping up, I startled Colin awake.
 
“We have to get dressed.
 
Austin
will be home any time now.”
 
He chuckled
as I pulled my clothes on.
 
I ran to the
bathroom to comb my hair and use my inhaler, hoping that it would help until he
left.
 
Walking back to the bedroom, he
was dressed and waiting on me.
 
We made
our way to the kitchen where I retrieved a bottle of water for the both of us.

    
Taking a drink, he kissed me on the forehead.
 
“I’m going to go to the hotel.
 
I’ll be back in the morning.”

    
I smiled back at him.
 
“I had a
great time today.
 
I’ll see you in the
morning.”
 
He gave me one last kiss
before walking out the door.

He’s
Leaving!

    
The week past by quickly, showing him around, just spending time
together in bed and out, but never forgetting to use a condom.
 
I knew that if I wasn’t in love with him
already, I was well on my way.
 
Austin
had started to accept Colin and for that, I was grateful.
 
I didn’t know how this would work though, he
lived in New York and I didn’t.
 
I didn’t
want this week to end, I didn’t want him to go.

    
Sitting at the breakfast table having toast and coffee with Colin and
Austin, I thought about how right it felt.
 
I only had a few minutes before my happiness shattered.
 

    
“I have to go home today.”
 
Colin
said as he took my hand.

    
“You have to leave?”
 
I’m sure he
could hear the disappointment in my voice.

    
“I do.
 
I’m sorry
Carlana
.
 
I have a
meeting tomorrow and I can’t miss it nor can I reschedule.
 
I have to be there.”

    
“What is your meeting about?”
 
He
knew I was just making small talk, but I also wanted to know.
 
I didn’t know a lot about his job, but I knew
he was well off.

    
“I have a meeting with Ellis.
 
He’s the one I talked to you about a couple of months ago.
 
You told me to be honest and tell him the
truth?”
 
I nodded, remembering the
conversation.
 
“We sort of went in to
business together.
 
It’s a long story and
I promise to tell you when we have more time.
 
I meant to have this conversation with you earlier but time got away
from me.”
 

    
“Okay.”
 
I didn’t know what else
to say, and I didn’t understand what he was talking about.
 
“When do you have to leave?”

    
Looking at his watch he said, “I have to leave in an hour.”
 
I know he saw the devastated look on my face,
but there was nothing that I could say or do.

    
“I’ll drive you to the airport, what time does your plane leave?”

    
“It’s leaving at 1pm but you don’t need to drive me.”
 
He took a sip of coffee.
 
Austin sat silently taking everything in.

    
“You don’t want me to go to the airport with you?”
 
I felt slightly hurt.
 
Why didn’t he want me with him?

    
“There’s no need.
 
I just have to
turn the car in and then I’ll be gone.”

    
“Okay.
 
If that’s what you want.”
 
I couldn’t look at him.
 
I knew it was silly but I couldn’t understand
why he wouldn’t want me to stay with him as long as I could.
 

    
He reached across the table and took my hand.
 
“
Carlana
, look at
me.”
 
I finally raised my sad eyes to
his.
 
“It’s not that I don’t want you to
go, it’s just that it will be harder to get on the plane if you’re standing
there.
 
I have to go back today, but it
doesn’t mean I want to.”

    
My heart felt lighter with his admission.
 
“Okay.”
 
That was all I could manage.

    
An hour later, Colin held me in a tight embrace.
 
“I’ll call you tonight.”
 
He said as he hugged me tight.

    
“Okay.”

     
“Maybe you and Austin can come to New York after he graduates?”
 
He asked sounding hopeful.

    
“Maybe.”
 
I couldn’t tell him that
I doubted I could afford it.
 
He took my
mouth with a crushing kiss, letting me know exactly how he felt.
 
I kissed him back with the same eagerness.

    
“I need to go.
 
I had a great time
this week.”

    
“I did to.”
 
With one last kiss, I
watched him walk away.

Returning
Home!

    
Arriving in New York, I found I missed Virginia.
 
I wasn’t kidding her when I said I didn’t
want to leave.
 
I couldn’t remember ever
having a better week. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Matt.
 
“Hello?”

    
“Hey man, I’m back in town.
 
Want
to grab something to eat this evening?”

    
“Sounds good.
 
You can tell me all
about Virginia.”

    
“And you can tell me what’s been happening.”

    
“See
ya
at 6?”

    
“See
ya
then.”

    
I nodded to Dean as I entered the apartment building.
 
I needed a shower and to talk to James, make
sure everything was running smoothly.
 
I
had purposely not answered phone calls while I was away.
 
Mother and the bitch Maria had called several
times, however, I had not heard from James.

    
After showering, I felt much better.
 
Walking in to my favorite Italian restaurant, I found Matt sitting in
the corner booth.

    
“Hey.
 
How’s everything?”
 
I asked as I slid in the seat opposite him.

    
“Good.
 
How was
Carlana
?”
 
A smile
broke out on my face.
 
“That good
huh?”
 

    
“Yeah, it was.
 
I hated leaving.”

    
“She coming up here?”

    
“I threw it out there.
 
Told her
that after Austin graduates they should both come for a visit.”
 
We ordered our food, and when I looked up, I
found Matt staring at me with a goofy grin on his face.
 
“What’s wrong with you?”
 

    
“That waitress tried every way possible to get your attention and you
didn’t even notice.”
 
Huh I guess I
didn’t.
 
“This is the first time since
I’ve known you that you haven’t even looked at women.”

    
“I get now why you like to stick with one woman.
 
Sex with
Carlana
was so much… more.”

    
“Exactly!”

    
“Mother still bothering you?”

    
“Not so much, but have you seen the magazine covers?”

    
“No, why?”
 
He just shook his
head.
 
“What is it?”

    
“You need to see for yourself.”

****

    
“I can’t believe he was here for a week and I didn’t get to meet
him!”
 
Megan said when we met for
lunch.
 
Colin had been gone for three
days and I missed him like crazy.
 
He
called me every night, but I still wanted him here.
 
I wanted to wrap my arms around him.

    
“I know.
 
You picked a terrible
time to be sick.”
 
I laughed at her.

    
“I’m just glad you didn’t catch it.
 
We were together all day, and that night I started throwing up.
 
That was some nasty bug.”
 

    
We finished eating and after we paid, “Let’s walk over to the
fastmart
, I want a pack of gum.”
 

    
Megan and I took our time as we made our way to the gas station.
 
It was a nice day outside, and I enjoyed the
feel of the sun on my face.
 
Not paying
much attention as we walked in to the store, I heard Megan mutter “Damn.”

    
“What’s wrong with you?”
 
I didn’t
really glance her way, just kept looking for cinnamon gum.

    
“I can’t believe he’s getting married.”

     
“Who are you talking about?”
 
I
glanced at her and found her holding a magazine.
 
“Why do you read that trash?”

    
“You remember that sexy hunk I showed you a few months ago, the one who
is always on the cover with different women?
 
Well, it looks like he’s getting married.
 
Someone snatched him up.”
 
When she turned the magazine around, all the
color drained from my face as Colin stared back at me.
 
I grabbed it from her hand so I could read
the article.
 

    
Just scanning it, I saw words that read
Most Eligible Bachelor, playboy, snatched up, engaged.
 
I couldn’t even bring myself to read it
as I stared at the woman in the photo.
 
She was beautiful but her eyes were cold.

    
“I need to go home Megan.
 
I’ll talk
to you later.”

    
“What’s wrong?”
 
I heard her say
but I didn’t turn around.
 
I didn’t want
her to see the tears in my eyes, and I knew if I said anything, a sob would
tare loose from my throat.
 
How could I
be so happy one minute and utterly devastated another.
 
I almost snorted at the thought; however,
losing someone is different than betrayal.
 
I knew we didn’t make any promises, but I thought he felt the same for
me as I did him.

    
I was so consumed with my thoughts and emotions; I didn’t hear Megan
come up behind me.
 
Grabbing my arm,
“Lana, what’s wrong?
 
Why are you
crying?”
 
Trying to hold in the gut
retching sobs, I finally just threw my arms around her and gave in to
them.
 
She petted my hair while giving me
soft words of encouragement.
 

    
Finally somewhat collecting myself, “That’s him.”

    
“That’s who honey?”
 
I knew she
had no idea what was going on.

    
“That’s my Colin on the front of the magazine.”
 
I watched the color drain from her face only
to be replaced with the red of rage.

    
“THAT BASTARD!
 
She yelled.

    
I snorted a laugh in between the tears falling down my face.
 
“Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.”

    
Lying in bed that night after crying all evening, I didn’t bother to
answer my phone.
 
Austin was in bed asleep
so I just let it ring.
 
I let it ring the
next morning, the next night, and the day after that.
 
I felt numb inside and to be honest, I just
didn’t know what to say.
 
I didn’t feel
good, my coughing was getting worse and I felt extremely tired all the time.
 

    
By the end of the week, I couldn’t take it anymore so I called my doctor
and explained about the coughing, and tiredness.
 

    
“It sounds like it’s time for a tune-up.”
 
Dr. Meeks said.
 
“I’ll get everything set up and I’ll see you
tomorrow.”

    
“Okay, thank you Dr. Meeks.”
 
Walking in to the kitchen, Austin was sitting there eating a cookie.

    
“Are you alright mom?
 
I’ve heard
you coughing a lot lately.”
 
He asked
with concern.
 
He knew something had
happened between Colin and me but he hadn’t asked so I hadn’t bother telling
him.

    
“I just talked to Dr. Meeks and he wants to put me in the hospital
tomorrow.
 
I’ll see if Grandma will come
and stay with you.”

    
“No.
 
I’ll take you to the
hospital and during the week I can stay by myself.
 
I’m eighteen and there’s no reason to bother
grandma.”

    
“I know you
can
stay by
yourself, I just worry about what you eat.
 
With grandma here I know you’ll get good healthy meals.”

    
“I know how to cook.
 
Remember?
 
You said I needed to
know how to take care of myself so I didn’t have to depend on someone.
 
You made me learn to cook and do
laundry.”
 
I smiled, remembering how much
he didn’t want to learn to do those things.

    
“Yeah.
 
Okay then.”

    
“What’s going on with you and Colin?”
 
He asked without looking at me.

    
“Nothing.
 
Why?”
 
He glanced at me for a brief moment before stating
the obvious.

    
“As much as it bothered me, you being with someone besides dad, you’ve
been very happy the last few months… until now.
 
I know you don’t feel well, but I can tell you’ve been crying a
lot.
 
You also won’t answer your phone
when it rings.
 
What happened?”

    
“He’s engaged.”
 
I said
defeated.
 
I looked at Austin and could see
the anger all over him.
 
I could almost
see the steam coming from his ears.
 
“It’s alright Austin, I’ll be fine.
 
It’s probably for the best anyway.
 
I hadn’t even told him about my illness.”
 

    
“That motherfucker!”
 
He
shouted.
 
“I’m going to kill that son of
a bitch!”
 
He raged on.

    
“Austin!
 
Language please!”
 
He didn’t look at me as he continued spouting
profanities at Colin.
 
I just got up and
went back to my room, too tired to fight with him or anyone else.