Trying to Survive (The Kiser #1) (23 page)

Whatever!

    
“Janice, where’s my reports!”

    
“Sorry sir, I get them right away.”

    
“Next time have them on my desk before I get here.”
 
I knew I was being unfair to her, but I
couldn’t bring myself to care.
 
Not now.

    
“Yes sir.”

    
I was sitting at my desk when she brought the reports to me.
 
I took over all the retirement accounts for
Ellis’s company, and of course gave him a huge break for his help with my
parents.
 
I hadn’t talked to
Carlana
for two weeks because she wouldn’t answer her damn
phone.
 
I thought she felt the same way I
did, but I was wrong.
 
Whatever!
 
I didn’t need her or anybody else.
 

    
My cell rang and without looking, I grabbed it and hit talk.
 
“Speak.”

    
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
 
Matt was pissed, not that I cared.

    
“Nothing.
 
What do you want?”

    
“Just wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight, but I don’t know if
I want to be around you right now.”
 
He
sounded irritated.

    
“Yeah, let’s go to the club.”

    
“I thought we could get pizza and beer.”

    
“I’d rather go to the club.
 
See
ya
at 9.”
 
I hung up,
not giving him room to change my mind.
 
I
thought about
Carlana
all the time and I needed a
distraction.
 

    
Answering my ringing cell again, “Speak.”

    
“Colin, it’s Maria.
 
Can we please
get together and talk?”
 
I clenched my
jaw.
 
How do I get rid of these fucking
people!
 
Her and my mother had called me
several times while I was gone and when I got back.
 
When mother realized she couldn’t blackmail
me into marriage, she’s tried the guilt thing.
 
Telling me how important family is, and all she wants is what’s best for
me.
 
Everything she’s done, she’s done
for family.
 
I couldn’t listen to her
load of bullshit any longer so I hung up on her.

    
“Maria.
 
I need you to listen and
pay attention.
 
I have talked to my
lawyer, and if you don’t have the articles retracted, I’ll sue you for
slander.
 
If you continue to harass me,
I’ll have you brought up on charges.”
 
I
hung up the phone while thinking that maybe I should change my number.

    
Sitting in the VIP section Matt and I ordered drinks as I scanned the
dance floor for available women.
 
“Have
you tried calling her anymore?”
 
Matt
asked and I just shook my head.
 
I didn’t
beg and I wouldn’t start now.
 
“You know
something must have happened.
 
Maybe she
was in a car accident or something.
 
Maybe she saw your engagement picture on the front of a magazine.
 
You need to go find out what happened.”
 
I let it go in one ear and out the
other.
 
Carlana
didn’t read those magazines.
 
If she did,
she would have known me when I first met her.

    
“I’m going to the dance floor.”
 
I
left him sitting there, probably steaming because I refuse to talk to him about
her.
 
Finding a young blonde with big
tits, I pulled her tight against my body as we started dancing.
 
Our bodies grinding, molding together like a
sexual mating dance.
 
I knew I had drank
too much but right now, I needed to shut my mind off.

    
Several drinks later, I found another partner but instead of heading to
the dance floor, I called Seth and had him bring the car around.
 
I let Gino go, deciding I would just be more
careful.
 
Ushering my
date
in to the car, I didn’t look as the
camera flashed.
 
“Home Seth.”

    
“Yes Mr. Withers.”

    
Arriving at my penthouse, Dean opened the door as we entered.
 
“What’s your name?”
 
I asked.
 
I couldn’t just call her girl or blondie.

    
“It’s Anna.”
 
She smiled
seductively, “And you’re Colin Withers.”

    
Standing in the living room with my arms crossed and a serious look on
my face, I didn’t know what to do which was a first for me.
 
Normally, I would have her bent over the
table and already fucking her by now, but I just stood here watching her.
 
She bit her lower lip and pulled the dress up
over her head.
 
Standing there in a red
lacy bra and panties, I felt nothing.

    
Anna dropped to her hands and knees, stuck her ass in the air and
crawled over to where I stood.
 
As she
looked up at me, she grabbed my jeans to unbutton, and then unzip them.
 
Reaching in, she grabbed my dick and released
it from
it’s
silky cage.
 
It stood at attention as she slid her lips
around me, sucking my dick deep into her throat.
 
I let my head fall back between my shoulders
as I imagined that it was
Carlana
sucking me.
 
When I heard her fake moan I looked down to
see the blonde head bobbing up and down.
 
Realization came to me like a feather in the wind.
 
I didn’t want this, I only wanted one
woman.
 
When she looked up at me and I
saw my dick in her mouth, I felt… guilty.
 
Pulling myself out, I buttoned up my pants and told the blonde to get
out!
 
She yelled at me, called me an
asshole before getting dressed and stomping out the door.

    
I took a quick shower to try to wash off the dirtiness I felt.
 
Grabbing my phone, I tried to call
Carlana
but it went straight to voicemail.
 
Why won’t she answer the damn phone?
 
I said to myself as I paced back and
forth.
 
Looking at my watch, I noticed it
was two in the morning but I felt like I couldn’t wait any longer.
 
Pulling out my phone, I called Seth.
 
“I want the jet ready to go in an hour and I
want you here in thirty minutes to pick me up.
 
I’m heading back to Virginia.”

****

    
“Good morning
Carlana
, how are you feeling
today?”
 
Dr. Meeks asked as he entered my
hospital room.

    
“I’m feeling much better.
 
It’s
hard to get any rest when the nurses keep waking me up but I’m not
complaining.
 
How much longer do I need
to take the IV medicines?”
 
When I need
my
tune-up
as the doctor calls it, I
always take two different IV meds for a minimum of two weeks and have taken
them up to six weeks before.
 
Thank God,
I didn’t have to do it too often.

    
“I think another couple of days and you’ll be good to go.”
 
He smiled as he pulled out his stethoscope to
take a listen.
 
“Your oxygen level has
stayed normal so that’s good.”

    
“I know.
 
I’m one of the lucky
ones.”
 
I took a deep breath so he could
listen.

    
“Well I don’t know how lucky you are, you have a very rare genetic
disease but at least your symptoms seem to be mild.”
 

    
I was born with a disease called Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia, also known
as PCD.
 
There are only about five
hundred of us diagnosed in the United States, but they suspect over twenty-five
thousand have it and go undiagnosed.
 
I
was lucky to have found Dr. Meeks and a treatment that works.
 
Austin was healthy, and I was mild for
someone having PCD.
 
A lot of the others
had to wear oxygen and a couple had already had lung transplants, so yeah, I
felt lucky.

    
Dr. Meeks folded the stethoscope and placed it back into the pocket of
his white coat.
 
“I’ll check your labs
and culture report in the morning and then I’ll make a decision which day
you’ll get released.
 
Who’s Austin
staying with?”

    
“He informed me that he was now eighteen and was perfectly capable of
staying by himself.
 
He’s coming down
tomorrow to stay with me.
 
He had final
exams this week.”
 

    
“I knew he was getting older, but I didn’t realize he had turned
eighteen already.
 
Wow, time sure does
fly.”
 
Dr. Meeks has been my doctor since
Austin was two years old.
 
He almost felt
like part of the family.
 
“Okay
Carlana
, you rest up and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

   
The next morning while looking at my phone, I noticed that Colin had
called again last night.
 
Well
technically this morning.
 
Grabbing my
tablet, I googled his name and found another picture of him with a blonde, huh,
what happen to his fiancée?
 
According to
the headlines, it was from last night when he was leaving a club.
 
I knew I have no right to feel jealous, but I
did.
 
I knew that I was the one that quit
talking to him without explanation, but I still didn’t like seeing him with
other women.
 
Maybe I made a mistake, but
when I saw the engagement picture, I lost it.
 
Then getting sick I realized that nobody would tie themselves to someone
that tired easily and got sick all the time.
 
I knew that breaking it off was the right thing to do, but my heart
didn’t agree especially when I’m down here all alone.
 

I’m
Not Leaving!

    
Standing on
Carlana’s
front porch, I noticed
how quite everything was.
 
I’ve waited
until 7am and I can’t wait any longer.
 
Ringing the bell, I waited patiently, painfully patient, and when no one
came I pounded on the door thinking the doorbell might be broken.
 
After a few more knocks, or poundings, a
disheveled Austin answered the door.
 
“What the fuck do you want?”
 
He
ground out obviously not happy to see me.

    
“I want to see
Carlana
.”
 
I said just as forcefully.

    
“Well that’s to fucking bad!”
 
He
started to shut the door in my face but I put my hand on it, keeping it open.

    
“I’m not leaving until I speak to her!”
 
He gave me
a
if looks could kill
look.

    
“Does your fiancée know you’re here?”
 
He said with a vehemence that slightly deflated me.
 
Matt was right, I should have
came
here sooner, or I could have explained things while I
was here last time.

    
I took a seat on the porch and motioned for Austin to take the
other.
 
He stared at me for a moment before
swearing and plopping down in the other one.
 
“I was never engaged.”

    
“Bullshit.
 
I saw the pictures and
the article.”
 
He said with his hands
fisted.
 
I knew I needed to smooth things
over with him if I was to ever have a chance with his mother, and I wanted one.

    
“I need to explain things to you, but I’m not sure where to start.”
 
He just stared at me.
 
“Okay, I’m an only child to one of the
wealthiest families in America.
 
However,
my childhood was horrible.
 
My parents
only had me so they could have an heir and for appearances.
 
Maggie, my best friend’s mother was also my
nanny.
 
She raised me from the time I was
nine.
 
My parents decided that I needed
to marry and have an heir.
 
They handpicked
the woman you saw on the magazine cover.
 
When I told them
no
, they
threatened to ruin my company, the company I built.

    
“Wait, why did they want her?
 
She
looked kind of mean.”
 
He scrunched his
nose as if something smelled bad and I wanted to laugh.

   
 
“Because her family had wealth
and power, the right connections.
 
She
and mother started telling everyone we were getting married.
 
They even went to the press.
 
I have no idea where her ring came from.
 
Hell, I’ve never even kissed the woman.”
 
I took a deep breath.
 
“It took me a couple of months to secure
Ellis’s help.
 
He is also one of the
wealthiest people in the country and he hates my parents.
 
When my business was secured, I told both my
mother and Maria to fuck off.”

    
“That’s fucking unbelievable.
 
How
could your own parents do that to you?
 
I’m always wanting to take care of mom, and she’s always telling me to
live my life… be happy.”

    
“That’s just the way they are.
 
I
should have told
Carlana
before I left, but we were
having such a great time and I didn’t want to think about it.
 
Then it was too late, it was time for me to
go.”

    
“I didn’t like you much, and then I hated you.
 
Mom cried all the time.”
 
He stared me straight in the eyes, and I liked
the kid even more.
 
Direct and honest, no
games.

    
“I know.”

    
“I hate seeing you with mom.”

    
“Yes.”
 
He let out a long breath

    
“But I don’t want her to be alone.”
 
I waited.
 
“She’s been in the
hospital for the last two weeks.”

  
  
“What?!”
 
He held his hand up for me to wait.

    
“She doesn’t tell anyone, but she was born with a genetic lung disease
called PCD.
 
She coughs a lot, gets tired
easy, and when she gets sick, she has to be admitted to the hospital for IV
antibiotics.
 
She’s usually there a
couple of weeks.
 
She thinks that because
she has this disease that nobody would want her.
 
When she saw the picture and the article, she
just gave up, thinking you wouldn’t want her anyway.”

    
My mind was racing and my heart pounding at the thought of her alone in
the hospital.
 
I thought I was falling in
love, but with the sweat beading on my brow and my labored breathing, I knew I
was already in love with this woman.
 

    
“Where is she?”
 
I finally choked
out.

    
“Her doctor is in North Carolina and she’s at UNC.
 
I had to take final exams, but now that I’m
finished I was going to head down there today.
 
I don’t like her being alone.”

    
“How long of a drive is it?”
 
My
mind was already forming a plan.

    
“It’s about four and a half hours.”

    
“Fuck that.
 
When can you be
ready?”
 
He looked at me as though I had
lost my ever-loving mind.

    
“Ten minutes.”

    
“Okay, hurry.”
 
I pulled out my
phone and dialed the pilot.
 
I had
instructed him to wait at the airport until I gave the okay for him to return
home.
 
I was hoping to take
Carlana
and Austin back for a visit.
 
“Alex, have the plane ready to go in thirty
minutes.
 
I need to get to Chapel Hill, NC.
 
Also, have a car waiting for us upon
arrival.”

    
Austin walked out carrying a bag, “Ready.”

    
Pulling in at the airport, I ushered Austin to my jet.
 
“What the hell?”
 
He said as he sat down on a plush white
leather chair.
 
“This is yours?”

    
I nodded as my flight attendant, Gage, asked if I would like something
to drink.
 
Shaking my head no, he moved
on to Austin, who also declined.
 
“Do you
think
Carlana
will talk to me?”
 
I asked distractedly while looking out the
window.

    
“Not on the phone.
 
She truly
believes she is doing you a favor.
 
She
didn’t know what was wrong with her until after her and dad married, and she’s
mentioned a time or two that she felt he deserved better, he deserved a healthy
wife.”

    
“That’s bullshit!”

    
“I know.”

    
“I’ve met a lot of women and most of them are always out for
themselves.
 
They want fame, money… just
always something.
 
Carlana
is beautiful inside and out.
 
There is
nothing fake about her and she’s always putting everyone else first.
 
Did you know she paid my clinic bill in New
York?
 
She didn’t know anything about me
and still she helped.
 
That’s rare.”

    
“That’s mom.”
 
He said as one side
of his mouth quirked up.

    
Thirty-five minutes later, we were on the ground and ushered in to a
waiting limo.
 
It wouldn’t be long now,
and hopefully with Austin on my side I could get
Carlana
to come around.
 
I fucking loved that
woman.

****

    
“Hi Dr. Meeks.”
 
I said as he came
into the room.
 
I was hoping to go home.

    
“Good morning
Carlana
, how are you feeling
today?”
 
He took out his stethoscope and
I leaned forward.

    
“Good, really good.
 
How are my
labs?”

    
“They look much better.
 
Your
final culture report should be back but I didn’t see them in your chart.
 
I want to get one last x-ray, and do another
set of PFT’s before you go home.”
 
I sighed;
I was ready to go now.
 
“When is Austin
coming?”

    
“He should be here sometime today.”

    
“Good, good.
 
I’ll be back around
this evening and if there are no surprises then I’ll let you go.”
 
My answer was a beaming smile.
 
“Rest up and I’ll see you later.”

    
I got up, used the bathroom and brushed my teeth.
 
My long wavy hair looked messy and when I
tried to finger comb it, it was full of tangles so I just twisted it up in to a
soft messy bun.
 
I still had wisp of hair
falling out, but it looked a little better.
 
I couldn’t wait to get a shower instead of taking sponge baths.
 
Maybe
this evening when the IV came out.

    
Twenty-five minutes later, I heard a knock, and then Austin came walking
in.
 
My face lit up with happiness as he
walked over and gave me a hug.
 
“Good
morning mom.”
 
He kissed my cheek.

    
“Good morning honey.
 
I didn’t
expect you here so early.”
 
Looking at my
phone, “It’s 9:30, you must have left really early this morning.”

    
“I came with a friend.”
 
He
noticed my confused look.
 
“Before you
say anything, hear me out okay?”
 
I
nodded.
 
He certainly had my
attention.
 
“Colin came by this
morning.”
 
I started to speak but he held
up his hand.
 
“He explained everything
and I think you should at least talk to him.”

    
“I didn’t think you liked him?”
 
I
wanted him to like Colin but I knew he only tolerated him for my sake.

    
“I don’t like seeing you with anybody but dad.”
 
He gave me a sad smile.
 
“But I don’t want you to be alone.
 
He seems like an alright guy, I’ll just have
to get used to seeing the two of you together.”
 
He gently hugged me.

    
“What do I tell him?
 
I haven’t
told him what’s wrong with me.
 
What do I
do?”
 

    
“I’ve already explained things so don’t worry about it.”
 
Now I was really worried.

    
“What did he say?”

    
“I said you should have told me, and how could you possibly think I
wouldn’t want to be with you because of this.”
 
Colin said as he stepped in the room.
 

    
Tears sprang to my eyes as I watched him walk across the room to my
hospital bed.
 
I had missed him, but I
didn’t realize how much till this very minute.
 
I loved him but I already knew that.
 
When he sat down on the side of the bed and pulled me in to his arms, a
sob broke loose as I threw my arms around him and buried my face between his
shoulder and neck.

    
“What are you doing here?”
 
I said
in a mumbled voice with my face buried.

    
“Don’t ever stop talking to me again.
 
I’ve been awful to everyone.”
 
He
said while hugging me tight.

    
“You were an ass?
 
I can’t even
imagine that!”
 
I laughed in between
sobs.
 
Finally pulling back, I wiped my
eyes.
 
“I’m a mess.
 
I can’t believe you’re seeing me like this.”