Transcendence (27 page)

Her eyes narrow slightly, and her brows push together. I poke my fingers in the place between her eyes and try to fix the wrinkled spot there, which makes her giggle. When she laughs, her body shakes and my penis drops out of her. I push back against her body, but I’m too soft to get back inside of her now.

Maybe soon, though.

Beh pushes her lips together as she tries to stop laughing and then places her mouth against my temple. Her lips are warm and soft on my skin, and I lean toward her to place my lips on her cheek and then on her forehead.

Her palm cups my jaw, and her eyes look intently into mine as she makes the same collection of sounds again. I place my mouth on top of hers, hoping she won’t make noises all night. I lay my head back on the furs and hold her body close to mine. My hand runs over her skin, finding her breast and remembering how it moves when I am thrusting against her.

I start to wonder what other ways I could try to put a baby inside of her.

The chill in the wind this morning is far colder than previous days. I wrap my outer fur tighter around my shoulders as I check over the landscape for any signs of danger. The fur is cut long and hangs down my back to keep the wind off of me. Seeing nothing of concern, but thinking of the impending cold, I collect some wood from the recess between the rocks above the cave entrance and bring it back inside. The stores are getting low.

Beh is asleep again, but I am not surprised. The sky is overcast, and the cave is still dark. I also woke her up twice during the night to put a baby inside of her. I tried to move really slowly the last time, hoping she wouldn’t wake up, but she did.

I stack some of the wood neatly in a nice dry part of the cave, close to the fire but not too close. I need to gather more and think maybe I will do that today before it gets any colder. It takes a long time to gather a lot of wood since there aren’t many trees near the cave, only the small grove near the ravine, but the wood from the trees there doesn’t burn well. I have to go to the pine forest near the lake to collect better wood, and I can’t carry very much at a time.

As I am stacking the wood, I notice there is a small piece of flattened bark up against the wall of the cave by Beh’s clay dishes. There is also the small flint knife I gave to Beh when she was trying to cut up some of the boar meat. I pick up the bark to toss it into the fire when I notice there are a bunch of parallel lines carved into it, presumably with the piece of flint. I cock my head to one side and peer at it, but I can’t fathom why Beh would put marks on a piece of wood. Though my first thought is to toss the piece of bark into the fire, I shrug my shoulders and lay the wood back where I found it instead. I may not know what it is for, but one broken dish is enough for me to learn not to mess with the things Beh has put to use.

I look outside again and see that it is really quite late in the morning even though the overcast sky doesn’t give much of a clue. I decide I need to wake Beh so there is still time to gather a decent amount of wood before dark.

I drop down next to her and reach out to touch her shoulder.

“
Beh.” There is no response from my mate, so I try a little louder. “Beh!”

Beh grumbles and rolls, taking the edge of the fur and pulling it most of the way over her head. I can’t help but smile at the act. The little noise she makes is like a small animal’s squeak. I pull at the edge of the fur, but her fingers grip hard. She holds tight to the edge of it, so I know she is really awake.

On impulse, I stick my feet underneath the fur and snuggle in beside her. I feel her body push back against mine as it seeks the warmth, and I wrap my arm around her waist. My nose slides across her shoulder blade and up to her neck as my fingers trace little light circles around her side and belly.

Beh squirms at my light touch, her grunts of protest escaping even as she giggles. I smile against the skin of her throat and run the backs of my fingers across her belly. She wriggles and laughs as she makes loud sounds and grabs my hand. I pull, bringing her to her back so I can look at her face.

Her eyes are bright, and her smile is glorious. Her hair is everywhere, creating a soft, fluffy brown cloud behind her. She gazes up at me and makes the collection of sounds she has been repeating often when we are together in the furs.

I smile back at her and then bring my mouth to her neck to suck on the skin. I’m growing hard quickly, and I know I need to stop. We have no time for mating this morning; we have to gather enough wood before nightfall. Our stores of food are growing, but we don’t have quite enough to get us through the winter. The cold morning reminds me how soon winter will be here.

I pull away from her, and Beh scratches at my jaw with her fingers, making more sounds. I start to turn from her to get up, but she grips my shoulders to hold me close to her. I tilt my head and smile back as she makes more noise. This time, she includes both of our name-sounds, which is strange.

But, that’s my mate!

I nuzzle the tip of my nose against her and start to get up again. Again, she holds me back, saying our name-sounds together with another sound. I sigh and lay my head next to hers. I look over my shoulder to the cave’s opening and wonder how late in the morning it really is.

“
Ehd!”

My head moves back to look at her as she makes her name-sound, another sound, and then mine. My hand reaches up and touches her lips softly.

“
Khzz?”

Beh sighs and places her lips quickly against mine. Smiling, my fingers tickle her sides again before I push myself out of the furs and pull Beh with me. We have too much to do to lie down any longer. As Beh eats, I gather up the tools we will need for the day. When she’s ready, we head to the pine forest.

I use the large chunk of flint I have sharpened into a hand axe to break the logs into manageable chunks. Even though the day is bitter cold, and the sun is not shining, the work is hard and I soon discard my outer fur wrap, choosing to work wearing only the one that wraps around my waist. Beh watches me work and also busies herself stacking the pieces I have cut so we can carry them back.

We make two trips, but we still don’t collect much wood, and the day is already late as we head back for the third load. Beh’s noises have gone from quiet and occasional to a little louder and much more constant. I can see she’s not happy, and I assume it’s because of the cold weather and the hard work. Still, we need the wood, and we can only carry so much at a time.

Beh makes some more sounds and then stomps off toward a hollow log I had already discounted; it’s too eaten out by termites to be worth hauling back. She sits by it anyway, knocking it around, then sitting back on her heels and just staring at the ground. When I glance up from my work a moment later, I can see her shoulders shaking.

I jump up, worried she may have hurt herself, and find my mate staring at a piece of broken, hollowed-out wood with tears running down her face.

“
Beh?” I drop to my knees and reach out, and Beh comes into my arms.

The day is late, and even though I know we should bring a couple more loads of wood back, I also need to take care of Beh. She is upset, and though I don’t know why, I know I have to care for her until she feels better.

There are only a few pieces of cut wood, so I lead Beh over to them and position her arms to carry them. Once she curls her arms up and around the logs, I bend down, put one hand behind her knees and the other behind her back, and lift her up.

Beh grips the wood a little tighter and lays her head against my shoulder, still crying, as I begin the journey back to the cave. I look down at her closely, making sure she is not actually hurt, and run my nose over hers so she knows I will care for her. I’m tired and my muscles are sore, but Beh comes first.

I carry my mate back home as dark clouds begin to form on the horizon. The wind picks up, and I hold Beh close to my chest as I pick up my pace. We barely get the wood into the crack in the rock before the clouds begin to pour rain from the sky.

Beh heats water in one of the clay pots, and her tears eventually dry. After we eat, I watch her stand at the entrance to the cave and watch the storm soak the fields outside. She stares without moving for a long time, but she relaxes back against me as I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

She turns her head back to face me, and I press my nose against her cheek, which earns me a smile.

We are stuck inside the cave for several days as the storm continues on, accompanied by thunder and lightning, but we make good use of the time. I barely notice it as Beh’s cries echo in my ears and throughout the cave.

I grunt with the force of filling her again and again as my mate’s hands run up and down my body—gripping my shoulders and arms, then sliding quickly down to grab at my backside and encourage my relentless pace.

“
Oh…Ehd…uh…uh…”

The sound of my name-sound on her lips encourages me, and I grind against her with every thrust. I move my hand from her hip up her side and grasp hold of one of her breasts. I watch her face as my thumb and finger pinch slightly at the nipple—just as she showed me to do—and her mouth opens into a scream as she shudders around me.

Her fingernails dig into the flesh of my rear, pulling me deeper into her and holding me steady as I fill her with semen and the possibility of new life growing in her belly. As often as I am inside of her, I think it must be soon that she will stop her monthly bleeds as her stomach becomes round and swollen.

I can’t wait.

I slump against her, sweaty and worn out. Beh wraps her hands around my shoulders and drops her head back to the furs as she tries to relax her breathing.

The skies continue to pour upon us. My mouth presses against Beh’s throat quickly before I pull out of her and get up to tend to the fire. There is plenty of wood for now, but I am worried we may have trouble collecting enough for winter. Rain has been constant and violent since the night I carried Beh back to the cave, and we have not been outside since.

Moving to the crack in the cave, I look out over the steppes. The ravine is flooded, and I am glad the cave is elevated enough that the rising water should not be able to reach here. It would have to rain for many, many more days for the water to rise that much. I hope it doesn’t.

We need more wood.

As it is, the wood in the forest will be wet, and I won’t be able to put it in the cache above the cave for fear it would rot before it could be used. We have also lost days of work at a crucial time. This means no more wood has been gathered, no more rabbits or fish have been caught, and no more plants have been added to our baskets.

At least we have worked on making a baby.

A lot.

I smile and walk back in to find my mate cooking, using her clay pots and making flowing, bird-like noises. There is rhythm to the sounds, and one sound flows into the next without pause. She just started doing this the prior day, and I find it much more agreeable than the noise she usually makes.

I go to her side and sit, resting my head on her shoulder and watching her mix things together, coming up with much more flavorful foods than I ever had on my own. I run my nose against her neck and sigh, content.

Even with the work of chopping the soggy wood, it’s too cold to remove my wrap.

The rain has finally stopped, but we have been left with temperatures that are enough to freeze the ground in the morning, and the afternoon sun does little to warm it up. Under the cover of the pine trees where the sun does not reach, the cold is bitter, but at least the wind is minimized.