Total Control (32 page)

“Thanks, I think
.” I wasn’t sure if the shithouse part was a compliment or not. “It was actually one of my favorite times of the day.” I smiled as I thought about Ethan in my routine.

“Are you done? We’ve got a lot to do.”
Really?
I nodded.

We went bowling. I got a ninety-four, and he got a two-nineteen. What a show-off.

We went to a movie,
Friends With Benefits
. “Seriously, Sean?” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“It was the only thing good at the cheap seats,” he said. “I’m watching my spending.”

“Whatever!” I shook my head and he laughed.

We went to a little bar and listened to a local band for a while. We had two beers and danced a couple of times. It was so much fun. I’d talked him into visiting Ethan and I sometime before the summer was over. I told him I’d let him know what the concert line u
p was, and he could decide when he’d come.

Sean stopped and picked up a pizza. The next thing I knew, we were at the hotel.

“What are we doing here?” I asked.

“You’ll see.”

We got on the elevator with Carl. “All the way up, Carl,” Sean said. “Thanks for covering for me tonight, by the way.”

“No problem. When you said it was important, I couldn’t say no.” Carl winked at me.

“You were supposed to work tonight? Why didn’t you tell me?” I felt bad.

“Carl said he’d trade with me. I’ll just work tomorrow night instead. It’s no big deal.” H
e shrugged his shoulders. I felt really special. He’d gone to a lot of trouble for me.

“Did he really refer to me as ‘important’?” I asked Carl.

“Yes, Gia. I think ‘really important’ were his exact words.” Carl and I laughed as we teased Sean.

“Okay, you two,” Sean said. “Break it up.”

We made it to the top and Sean grabbed my hand that time and we walked to the door together. He pulled two diet A&W’s out of his jacket, and we sat on the roof and ate pizza. When we were finished, he looked at me very seriously.

“Gia, the last time I brought you up here you nearly froze
because you got so lost in it, remember?” I nodded. I’d tried to memorize it, so I could come back there, in my mind, like Sean said, and release things, when I needed to.

“You’ve come a long way since then, and I thought you might like to come back up here and finish what you started a month ago.” I nodded and walked back to the spot I’d stood that night. It was e
ven more beautiful. I felt tiny again, in the vastness of the sky. I did what Sean told me to do. I threw it out, watched it float away, and I was done with it!
Wow! It felt freeing. I’m free.
I turned my head and looked at Sean. He could see it in my face and he gave me a huge smile. I reached my hand out to him and he joined me. We stood, holding hands, and stared out into the infinite sky.

“Do you know how much your friendship means to me?” I asked him.

“Yes.” He squeezed my hand. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Don’t ever minimize the importance you’ve had on my recovery.
Not even as a joke. You saved my life. The only way I can ever repay you is to be your friend, is that enough?” Tears welled in my eyes, but I kept them forward.

“You’ve repaid me ten times over by giving me back something I’d lost a long time ago.”
His voice cracked and the tears ran down my cheeks. “I’d given up on that kind of love, the kind I’d had for a split second, and lost. The therapy saved my life and I came to terms with the accident and the loss.” He took a deep breath. “But there’s no therapy in the world that can make you experience
feeling
again. That comes from within.
You
put it back in me. Then you and Ethan proved it to me.”

We faced each other, hand in hand. We had a bond t
hat would last a lifetime, and we knew it. He put his arm around me and we made our way to the elevator. As we rode down in the elevator, I told Carl, “Thank you for covering for Sean tonight, it
was
really important.” Sean squeezed my hand and smiled.

“Will I see you again someday?” Carl asked me.

“Not unless the spoiled rich kid gets me a room. I can’t afford this place!”

“Yes, you’ll see her again
, Carl. You can count on it,” Sean said.

I raised my eyebrows
. “Hmm, interesting,” I said.

“Until next time then, Gia,” Carl said.

I gave him a quick hug. “Carl, take care of my little Richie Rich, okay?” He nodded.

***

When we got to Sean’s place, we were exhausted. I put on my sweats and Ethan’s shirt. “Sorry,” Sean said, “I wouldn’t have washed Ethan’s sheets in the guestroom if I’d have known you’d be staying. What’s with that, anyway?”

“What’s with what?”

“You and smells.”

I laughed. “I just li
ke the way you and Ethan smell. Your scent is hot, I love your cologne. Ethan’s is like soap mixed with his own scent, fucking hot.”

He shook his head. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Oh, let me guess,
The Graduate?
”

“Good one, Gia
.” He was laughing. “No, I was thinking maybe that new one with the girl from, what the hell is the name of that? You know, with that dude from SNL?”

“Oh, yeah, that one
.” I rolled my eyes at him. “You know I’m gonna fall asleep anyway, so whatever you pick is good for me.”

He pulled open the hide-a-bed and threw some blankets and pillows on it. “Do you want some popcorn? Or ice cream?”

“No, I’m good.” I got comfy in my spot.

He hopped into his spot next to me
and started the movie. He handed me a spoon and took the lid off the Ben & Jerry’s. I dug my spoon in and got a big bite.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said, smiling.

“Well, you gave me a spoon!”

“You would’ve just taken mine if I hadn’t!”

“Mmm, it’s delicious, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for staying with me. I love the company, your company.
”

“I love your company
, too. We need to find you a woman. Hey, what did you think of Brynn? She asked about you after you left.”

“She seemed nice
; cute, too. What did you think of her?”

“I love her. She was my closest friend there. Played the shit out of volleyball
, too, for such a tiny thing. Can I give her your number? Please?” I was excited about that idea.

“I don’t know,” he hesitated. “Are you sure she was interested?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” I stared at him, waiting for an answer.

“Gia, settle down. I’ll think about it and let you know tomorrow.”

My phone beeped. It was a text from Ethan.

Just wanted to say good nite. Hope ur having fun with Sean, but not too much! ;) I love you

I texted back;

We had fun, but not too much :) I’m saving myself for someone See u soon, I can’t wait!

He responded;

Mmm, I can’t wait either

Then me again;

Mmm is right I hope u can keep up

Then him;

Keep up? Or Keep it up?

Me;

Both :)

Him;

I’ll do my best

Me;

I’ve no doubt Sweet dreams baby

Him;

Sweet dreams Hotness

“How’s Ethan?” Sean asked.

“Good. Did you eat all the ice cream?”

“No, I wouldn’t dare, not with you around.” He chuckled as he handed it to me.

“You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“Actually, I am.”

I set the empty ice cream container on the coffee table and got comfy again.
I remember laughing at the movie with Sean a couple of times, but then I must’ve crashed and slept like a log. When I opened my eyes in the morning, a huge smile came over my face.
I was going home today!
Sean was still sleeping, so I went into the guest bath and showered. I took extra care getting ready, as I knew I’d be seeing Ethan soon. As I repacked my toiletries, I smelled coffee.

“Good morning,
” Sean said when I joined him in his kitchen. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hard. How about you?”

“The same. What would you like for breakfast?”

“Coffee is good for me.” I’d been eating breakfast every morning for the last thirty days, but I had too many butterflies.

“Turning down food? Are you feeling okay?” He smiled.

“Ha, ha. My nerves are messing with me, and getting on a plane with a full stomach doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“Why are you nervous, Gia?” He was concerned.

“I think I’m more anxious than anything. Once I get in the air, I’ll be fine.” I always hated the
buildup to traveling.

“
Okay. I know you won’t, but you can stay longer if you need to. You’re always welcome here.” He gave me a hug.

“Thanks, Sean.” We sat and talked over my coffee and his cocoa. He said I could give Brynn his number, but if it ended badly
, he didn’t want me to hold it against him.
As if!
I didn’t think there was anything he could do that would change the way I felt about him. He was glad about that as he went off to take a shower.

***

I hate good-byes at airports. I was relieved we’d said all that we needed to say the night before, and I told Sean not to get all mushy with me. He said he’d just slow down and push me out at the curb if I wanted. “You would not,” I said.

He stayed with me until I was ready to go through security. My heart was having palpitations and I had to concentrate on breathing. I didn’t know why, but I was having separation anxiety. I wanted to watch over him as badly as he wanted to watch over me. We’d become close and protective of one another.

He hugged me. “I love you, Gia.”

“I love you, Sean.” He was my best friend, without benefits.

I promised I’d let him know when I landed and was soon in my seat on the plane. I read a magazine all the way to my first stop. As I waited to board the plane home, I had a bite to eat and called Mom and Dad. When I was finally airborne again for the final leg of my journey, I got my ear buds out and listened to the rest of the playlist Ethan had made me.

Pat Bena
tar –
All Fired Up.
“I’ll never be able to hear this song again without seeing you on the stage belting it out for me, and I’d never want to. You still owe me a
Shadows of the Night
encore.”

I laughed.
Yes, I owed him an encore all right.

Journey –
Open Arms.
“I was so turned on watching you cook me dinner in your kitchen. When you straddled me in the chair and had your naughty way with me, it proved that even a quickie with you is an unforgettable experience.”

Mmm.
The quickie in the kitchen. I couldn’t have told you what song was playing, but I remembered the play.

Def Leppard –
Pour Some Sugar On Me.
“Hot little you in your hot little car. That’s all I’ve got to say about it. Well, except, you’re hot.”

It was so hot when he told me I was hot.

Bad English –
When I See You Smile.
“I’ve never heard this song while I was actually around you, but every time I’ve heard it, you were with me.”

I closed my eyes and listened to the lyrics. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside. My butterflies were going crazy.
He’d spent a lot of time and thought making me that playlist. He was the most thoughtful man I’d ever known. How’d I get through my life so far without him? I wanted to be with him, always. I gasped at the thought. I’d never actually, seriously considered it, the possibility, anyway. I checked my face in my little mirror as we descended into the city. As soon as we landed, I texted Sean that I was home safe.

As I came down the corridor, my knees got weak, anticipating the sight of him. I turned the corner and looked across the room. There he was,
hot as fuck, holding a sign that said, “Gia Elizabeth Anderson Stone,” and a single red rose. We met somewhere in the middle. I jumped into his arms, wrapped my legs around him, and kissed him like it was the first time. We made quite a scene, but we didn’t care. It was like no one else existed.