To Protect & Serve (27 page)

“This is it, then.” Heavy lines creased Alex’s forehead. “Are you sure he doesn’t suspect you?”

“As sure as I can be. He said I can bring Chad and he asked about you, but I said you had to work strange hours this week.”

Alex’s insides felt like she’d swallowed tacks. Her future in the department hinged on this case and all she could think about was Keri. Things could go so badly wrong on a drug bust, she felt paralyzed. She reached for Keri’s hand and fought to tame the butterflies in her stomach. For a few seconds, she allowed her gaze to flicker hungrily over Keri’s body but she carefully avoided her stare. It was a struggle to think about work; Keri’s presence was too professionally disturbing and too emotionally and physically arousing. Alex knew they shouldn’t be doing this. She felt weak for allowing it. But a part of her had rebelled so powerfully against the constraints of the past year that she had not been able to restrain herself.

Looking around the office Keri noted again the unadorned walls and meager furnishings. She took a seat across from Alex and scanned the metal desk. Her eyes came to rest on a photograph beside Alex’s computer of a handsome, gray-haired man with a fiery redheaded woman.

“My parents,” Alex replied to the unvoiced question. “They died a year ago in a plane crash. We were very close. My father was like a best friend to me. Laughter was our favorite form of communication. I miss them both a great deal.” She stopped, intrigued that she had wandered off on yet another personal tangent with this woman.
What is it about Keri Morgan that makes me want to spill my guts in the most intimate way?

“He has a kind face.”

“He was a kind man. Thank you.”

“And you have that same fire in your eyes that your mother did.” Keri felt her confidence lift when Alex’s skin flushed with color. There was no retreat to the impersonality of their work relationship, at least momentarily.

“That’s exactly what my father used to say. He marveled at being able to survive a household with two redheads.” Alex looked from her parents’ picture back to the papers on her desk. “I apologize for my digression, Keri. I should be asking how you’re feeling about the assignment. Are you ready for this?”

Keri’s palms felt sticky and a pulse throbbed painfully between her legs as she allowed herself to stare openly at Alex’s slightly parted lips and her peekaboo breasts. “Yes, I’m ready. I know this is important to everybody, especially you. I won’t fail you.”

The promise in Keri’s eyes blinded Alex to everything but her presence. “Of course the case is important, but I care more about you.”

The flash of caring on Alex’s face made Keri realize the risk they were both taking by pursuing their relationship. For her it had already gone too far. She couldn’t imagine her life without Alex in it. The feelings that had been awakened in her could never be satisfied without her. Keri felt her very essence was entwined with Alex’s like the double helix of DNA. There was no going back. Pretending to be professional colleagues would rip her heart out. She’d do
whatever
it took to keep Alex in her life. Her last thought stopped her musings.
Would
she really do
anything
not to lose Alex? She knew at that moment that the answer was yes—even if that meant giving up the job she loved.

“I’ll be careful, Alex, but I plan to make this guy pay for every vile and disgusting thing he’s ever done. I know you’re worried about me. But there are no legitimate grounds to stop me from doing this without sabotaging the case.”

But how can I protect you if you won’t let me?
Tormented by a desire to protect Keri at all costs, Alex said, “At least promise me there’ll be no cowgirl heroics.”

“Alex, the only way to stop me is for you to admit personal motivation, and you won’t do that.” Surprised by her own audacity and sudden assertiveness, Keri added, “Please, let me do my job.”

Tears clouded Alex’s vision as she tried to focus on Keri’s face. “I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you. Do you understand?”

Their eyes locked and melted into pools of liquid longing.

“Yes, I do understand.” Keri rose and came around the desk toward her. She took Alex’s hand and pulled her to her feet. The air between them crackled. “I won’t have you feeling guilty for giving me this assignment. It had to be this way, don’t you see?”

Alex spoke around the emotions that choked in her throat. “But I wasn’t talking about just now. I wanted to say that I—”

Keri brought a finger to her lips. “Don’t say it. Not just yet. I couldn’t be responsible for my actions if you did. But thank you for letting me see that look in your eyes again. It’ll get me through this case.” She squeezed Alex’s hands, leaned forward, placed a light kiss on her cheek, and turned to leave.

Alex eased her drained body back into her chair, passion making her weak. “Do you always say exactly what’s on your mind?”

“Yes, and that’s one of the many things you love about me.” Keri flashed her magnetic smile and Alex felt it sweep over her like a warm breeze. “I’m going home now.”

“Okay, get out of my office and get ready to catch me a bad guy…and be safe.”

“Thank you. And don’t worry. Nothing will keep me from you now.” She flashed Alex a disturbingly seductive smile and exited. She wasn’t sure her legs would carry her through the door.

Listening to her lover’s departing footsteps, Alex was bombarded with guilt. She’d lost all objectivity and control. This had never happened to her on the job. What was going on? The reply was becoming more frequently the one she wanted to hear:
I love Keri Morgan
. She allowed herself to give voice to the notion again and prayed that it would be okay.

At work she had struggled to remain aloof and in control, while nightly she and Keri made love until their bodies or a new day forced them to stop. She pulsed with an almost debilitating ache to feel Keri’s hands on her constantly, stroking her tender breasts, sliding her strong fingers into the moisture between her legs. The frustration in her body demanded relief that only Keri could provide. They couldn’t hole up in Alex’s home forever, ignoring the world outside, yet that was exactly what happened when they were together. Alex knew she had to define her relationship with Keri and figure out how they could be together after this case was over. One thing was certain; she wanted to be with Keri more than anything in her life.

Alex had experienced another side of Keri Morgan, the determined young woman who stood up for her beliefs and wasn’t afraid, regardless of the consequences. Alex’s concentration was admittedly off, but two things she knew without a doubt—Sonny Davis was dangerous and Keri was going after him virtually alone. She understood the driving force behind Keri’s obsession with this man, but she also knew it could get her seriously injured. Wishing she’d never chosen Keri for the task force, she looked toward the ceiling and shook her head. If she believed in prayer, now would be a good time to start.

“Earth to Morgan.” Beth waved her arms.

“What? Sorry,” Keri said. “I guess I was somewhere else.”

“Girl, you shouldn’t stand around naked in a police locker room. Don’t you know you could get molested? Then who’d you call to take the report?”

After a couple of dry runs of the takedown scenario in the muggy night air, Keri had decided to shower before her drive home. She hadn’t heard Beth come in as she stepped from the tile surround and toweled herself. “That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea at the moment,” she said.

Beth didn’t bother to hide a snort. “You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?”

There was no use denying the obvious. “I’m sorry, Sarge. I was distracted.”

“Is that what you’re going to say when Davis has a gun to your chest?” Beth discarded her uniform shirt. “Am I going to have to call this whole thing off?”

“No,” Keri insisted. “I know what I need to do.”

“Then get your head out of your ass or you won’t be on this team anymore. Trust me on that. No arrest is worth getting an officer hurt.”

“I’ll get it together. I promise.” Keri tried to shake herself free of the worry she’d seen on Alex’s face last night. She wanted so much to hold and reassure her that everything would be fine—with the case and with them.

Beth hesitated. “You know she cares about you, right?”

Keri tried not to give herself away. If anyone in the division found out what was going on, she and Alex would both be taken off the case and Alex would be brought up on charges. In a neutral tone, she said, “Yes, I know.”

“Good. She wants to see you.” Beth turned on the water and stepped into the cubicle, throwing her towel over the door. “Don’t stay up all night. You need to be fresh tomorrow.”

Keri stared after Beth as she disappeared into the shower. Was it possible that she knew about her and Alex? Would Alex have confided in her? Keri decided that would be too risky at this point and dismissed her suspicions. Beth was probably just trying to make her more comfortable for the sake of the investigation. Calling, “See you tomorrow, Sarge,” she closed her locker door and headed down the hallway to Alex’s office.

Alex met Keri at the door and offered her hand, something she seldom did with subordinates. The need to touch her was too great. “Come in.”

The softness and warmth of Keri’s hand shot up her arm and settled around her heart.
My God, I love touching you.
Standing right here, just like this.
Her insides felt like she’d swallowed BBs. Her future in the department hinged on this case. But she couldn’t hope to remain focused while she was in such turmoil. Things could go wrong quickly on a drug bust, and she was about to send the woman she loved into the bowels of hell with a predator. Few other professions required such sacrifice. Was it really worth it?

She released Keri’s hand and looked at her for the reassurance no one else could provide. Interlocking her fingers into a white-knuckled fist, she said, “Don’t take any unnecessary chances tomorrow. Don’t make any assumptions with this guy. He’s dangerous.”

Keri squeezed her legs together to stop the trembling and the inevitable ripples of excitement that claimed her every time she stood within feet of Alex. She never tired of the charge she got from their proximity or of the changes in Alex. The cool distance in her eyes had been replaced by a smoldering look of longing. Her professional bearing slipped a little whenever they were close, just enough for Keri to notice. It pleased her to be the cause. The single-minded dedication that once defined Alex Troy now included her, and Keri found that very arousing.

The days and nights they’d spent together had brought Keri more joy than she’d imagined possible. Touching Alex, feeling her excitement rise, tasting her, hearing her screams of pleasure and pleas for more, and watching her face as she climaxed would be forever etched into her memory. She wondered if Alex held such memories of her, when they were apart, of how she felt as they made love.

She placed her hands on top of Alex’s and unlocked her clenched fingers. “I promise I’ll be careful.” As she brought Alex’s fingers to her lips and kissed them tenderly, she was aware that if something went wrong tomorrow this could be their last day together.

Alex was flooded with mixed emotions as she watched Keri kiss her hands, then step back, assuming a supervisor/subordinate posture. The woman standing before her was no longer the insecure, confused officer of three years ago. The underlying pain that Keri had tried so hard to cover with humor was no longer reflected in her blue eyes. Alex wanted to believe that she was part of the reason for this transformation. The time they’d spent together had certainly changed how Alex saw herself. Keri had said she loved her. But Alex feared that she would accept that love into her heart only to lose Keri, like she’d lost everyone else who loved her. Tomorrow Keri could be gone forever and it would be her fault for putting her in this ungodly position.

“Will you come home with me?” Alex held her breath and waited for Keri’s answer.

“Of course I will.”

“It’s just that I can’t bear not being with you tonight.”

“You won’t have to. I’ll see you there in thirty minutes.”

*

How can anyone breathe this air?
Keri coughed as the musty-thick mildew smell clung to and choked her as she entered the room. Narrow slits barely eye level with the sidewalk served as windows, allowing only a dim oozing film of light to squeeze in like a hazy appendage.

On one side of the bare-walled flat, undefined figures squirmed and moaned on the single piece of furniture, a box spring mattress on the floor. Visual affirmation was not necessary. Those guttural sounds betrayed the primitive attempts of a man to satisfy himself at a woman’s expense. Her voice, heavy from weight or intoxication, barely cracked the periodic stillness between his sucking breaths and vulgar expletives. Why didn’t they see or hear her come in? This had to be a drug-shooting gallery or a flophouse for prostitutes.

“Move your ass, you sorry whore,” the man puffed.

Cautiously Keri edged closer to the mattress, careful to remain in the darkened corners. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness she saw a huge hand with puffy swollen fingers grabbing the side of the mattress. Greasy sweat beaded on the massive naked body and oily blond hair matted against his head as the man humped and panted atop the pitiful-sounding creature. Keri’s stomach churned and convulsed at the grotesque sight.