To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) (28 page)

42

Abby

After a week without nightmares, I fooled myself into thinking I was cured of them. The next three nights proved otherwise. They were changing, worsening, taking me longer to find Xander. I was only getting a few hours of sleep a night. I tried to hide my exhaustion, but the Wrights could tell. They were all attentive, which made me feel fragile and I hated that.

No one had seen or heard from Jake since Wednesday. I hoped he was okay. I had no idea what made him act like such a creep.

Lunchtime on Thursday and Friday, Mel and Beth joined the Wright table. Xander’s family enjoyed my friends, which made me happy. The hour was filled with constant chatter and laughing.

Saturday morning, I woke up early, counted my pills out, and took my blood test. I put my running gear on to get ready for the Wright family outing. I made sure to pack extra water and my pills. I had never been on a hike and didn’t know what to expect. Before Xander, my life was sedentary and I never believed I could have otherwise.

Like clockwork, Xander’s knuckles rapped on the door. He looked so cute with sneakers, black nylon shorts, and a white T-shirt. He noticed how tired I looked and dipped his head to kiss each eye, lips warming on my lids. “You still can’t sleep?” I shook my head in response and he sighed. “I wish you would tell me what your nightmares were.”

“It isn’t important, Xander.”

He captured my chin, imploring me with his eyes. “It’s important to me.”

“It’s bad enough I have to think about it at night, I don’t want to pull those thoughts into the day. Please.” This wasn’t a topic open for discussion, not this time. Besides, he would think I was crazy. Who dreamt of people before meeting them?

He nodded, but I knew this wouldn’t be the last time he would ask. “You ready for today?”

“Nope.”

Xander laughed and looked around the living room. “Where’s the Bozo?”

“Ugh, do we have to take him?”

He grabbed the leash from the hook. “Yeah, let’s take him. A hike will do him good.”

We packed up the dog and drove with the sunrise in the rearview, listening to country music. It was a long enough drive to his house for a sufficient covering of dog drool. Pulling up to the drive, the garage was open and I spotted the black Honda Civic, four ATVs, and four sport bikes. I didn’t know they had those. I wondered why Xander never told me.

What I didn’t see was the car they were restoring. What were Xander and Caleb really doing on the weekends? Was their dad even overseas? They also didn’t have a weight set, which I imagined they would have—those boys’ muscles had muscles and the girls, too.

The questions and doubt plagued me. There was so much I didn’t know about him. He didn’t trust me at all.

The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. “Wow, you guys have a lot of toys.”

He flashed me a smile.

“Xander, when does your dad get home?”

His smile fell and my stomach churned. “Um, I don’t know. I’ll have to call him. He’s in Japan now.” His voice sounded funny and he didn’t look me in the eye. A bad thought flashed through my mind. I frowned and bit my lip. “Hey, why the look?” Xander tugged my chin up.

My voice was near inaudible. “Are you ashamed of me?”

His brow creased. “What? What in the world would make you think that?”

I kicked the dirt. “I don’t know.”

He cupped my face. “Abby, he’s away. When he gets home, you’ll meet him. I’ve told him all about you. Please don’t think that way, he will love you as much as the rest of the crazy Wright clan, probably even more.” His lips quirked up on one side like he had a secret.

“Okay, sorry.”

Xander pressed a kiss to my nose. “Come on, silly, there’s a mountain calling your name.”

His siblings milled in the garage wearing similar workout gear. Hannah and Calista wore sport tank tops, and when they turned, I was surprised to see the same iridescent lines on their backs. I wondered if Caleb had them, too; I had never seen his back when he had his shirt off. It didn’t look like a tattoo, more like a natural marking.

I eyed the bikes; they looked fast and I imagined what it would be like to ride one, if Xander would take me. Before I could filter myself, I asked, “Hey, can I ride your crotch rocket sometime?” I looked to Xander.

With wide eyes, his face turned bright red. Xander’s siblings had the same look.

I glanced at everyone. “What did I say?”

“Um…” Xander grimaced.

“Holy crap! I’m talking about the bikes! It’s what they’re called!” My hands flew to my mouth.

They all laughed and Calista said, “Oh, that’s a relief!”

How could they own sport bikes and not know this?

Caleb feigned a serious look. “Abby, you can ride Alexander’s crotch rocket anytime. You don’t even need to ask.” He patted Xander on the shoulder while stifling a laugh poorly, turning away.

His innuendo did not go unnoticed, and the boys shared a knowing smile.

Groaning, my eyes locked onto the garage floor. “I’m going to take a vow of silence,” I muttered.

“Hey, we learned a new term today,” Xander said amused.

“I’m so embarrassed.”

Xander looped an arm around my hips. “Come on, it’s fine. A good hike will make you feel better.” I was starting to think this hike-therapy was overrated.

“Doubtful.”

With a water bottle and a good lather of sunscreen on me, we started our hike up the mountain. I called it the Wright Mountain—it might as well be. Caleb let Bozo off the leash and I opened my mouth to protest, but around the Wrights, that dog was different. He listened to them.

The sun beat down on us as we walked up the dusty trail. Xander held my hand the whole way, but I was getting tired fast, and it was only worse considering I had a few hours’ sleep last night. I didn’t want to let Xander know, but he noticed all things Abby. Somehow, he coerced me to let him carry me and he never slowed down, even up the steep ascent.

It didn’t take long before the wildlife detected us. Vultures and hawks perched on nearby trees and cacti. The ground moved whenever we stopped and I tried keeping my field of vision off the dirt, not wanting to see any snakes slithering by.

The Wrights teased each other with light sprays from their water bottles, and then competed for which one of them was the most awesome. It was unbearably hot and how they didn’t sweat was beyond me. They decided we would go back home soon, probably for my benefit.

Before leaving the trail, the Wrights wanted to go check out the top of the mountain. It was forty feet straight up and the path didn’t reach there. They would have to climb and we didn’t have climbing gear. Seemed like a perfectly rational thought—for the insane. Caleb, Calista, and Hannah went ahead of us. I told Xander to go and I would wait.

Xander left me and told me to stay put, and I didn’t realize how tired my legs were until he let go of me. Sitting on a rock, Bozo sniffed around me. I watched the Fabulous Four climb up the side of the peak like proficient mountaineers as their peals of laughter bounced through the canyon. With a twinge of envy, I wished I could climb with Xander. He would have more fun if I were like his sisters. And just like that, those fears and insecurities slipped in.

Bozo whined, nosing around dense sagebrush. The last thing I wanted to do today was take the family dog to the vet for a snakebite. With the Wrights and their wildlife attraction, it seemed a likely outcome.

I stood to grab him and the ground tilted. My attempt to sit back down failed, my legs slipped out from under me, and I slid along the dirt trail. Skidding fast, the hill was steeper than I had realized. I tried to reach for anything to stop me from rolling too far, cutting my hands and limbs on sharp rocks along the way. Skin stretched and pulled at my stomach and face. I continued downhill until the sharp pain sinking deep into the back of my thigh stopped me. The pain was crippling and my voice caught in my throat. Knowing I had little time, I tried to scramble up, realizing I wasn’t moving. I looked behind me, horrified that my thigh was stuck in a large barrel cactus.

My heart slammed against my chest wall, constricting my lungs. With depleting strength in my arms, I tried to pull myself off the cactus. Bozo ran to me, barking. I clawed at the dirt to reach him, feeling a wave of fire as the barbs ripped my muscle. The weight of an armored truck crushed my chest. I needed my pills, but I was lying on the pocket they were in. There was no way I could shift my body to get to them. Gasping for breath, spots entered my vision and the burn tore up and down my leg.

Caleb’s feet landed in front of me, leaving large indentions in the ground, and a plume of dirt and pebbles hit my face from the impact. A hot hand flew under my shirt, resting over my heart. In the same moment, Xander, Hannah, and Calista’s feet leapt down to me in loud
thuds
. It was an impossible jump from where I thought they were. The sunlight was too bright and squinting didn’t help.

Xander was talking, but I couldn’t understand him. Tears and light blurred my vision. Thankfully, someone put the fire out on my leg and it occurred to me that I was going into shock. We were too far away from a hospital. I wouldn’t make it.

The light surrounding me brightened and I closed my eyes, but the light bled through.

I heard Caleb’s voice. “She’s losing too much blood. Our only option is to pull her off the spines. Calista and Hannah, you help me lift and heal her. Alexander, control her mind, take her far away from here.”

That didn’t make sense. I was hallucinating.
I’m dying
. I didn’t get to say good-bye. I didn’t tell my parents I loved them this morning. My sisters. Margaret. They had to know I loved them.

The redness behind my eyelids changed to a gentle glow. I wasn’t on the mountain anymore. I was in a room. Soft white surrounded me. Candles flickered and glowed. Xander was above me, his hazel eyes full of want, desire. Sheets of white satin covered us; red rose petals were sprinkled on the bed and floor.

Xander’s lips sealed over mine and his tongue swept into my mouth. Moving against me, his smooth chest teased the tips of my breasts, and his hips rested between my legs. I felt every inch of him, so hard, but smooth as velvet against me. His fingers interlaced with mine; our rings were on our left hands now. He trailed kisses along my jaw, down the column of my throat, then over my scar. Heat pooled and surged, taking me over, and I ached for him. Pressing against me, our skin was hot at the point of contact. Our hips rocked into each other as my name fell on his lips.

In a gentle movement, we became one.

43

Xander

The morning alarm went off. Stars winked over the mountain against an inky sky. Jumping out of bed, I rushed to get ready, eager for today. We were excited to spend the day with Abby and it brought me such happiness she liked being with my family. Before heading to the kitchen, I sensed Caleb at the door. He knocked as a house courtesy. “Come in.”

He popped his head inside. “Hey, Brother, are you leaving soon?”

“Yeah, everything okay?”

He paused, rubbing his chin. I took this as a serious talk and sat down on the bed. He closed the door behind him. “I’ve been talking to the girls. You know we adore Abby. She’s surprisingly easy to love and…she’s becoming a part of this family, Alexander.” He glanced down. “When did you want to tell her?”

I knew this conversation was coming. I had been avoiding it, but they were tired of the secrets and lies. “It will have to be soon, I know. She’s been patient and understanding, but she deserves more from me. She deserves the truth. I’m terrified she won’t want me.”

He said, “She will. She loves you.”

I shook my head, knowing the reasons why I should walk away from Abby, what I would be putting her through. “This is selfish of me, foolish to even think—”

“Alexander, do you love her?”

I met his blue eyes with resolve. “With all of my being, yes. I don’t want a life without her.”

“Brother, I can’t pretend I understand, but I only want your happiness. And if Abby holds that for you, then I will do whatever is in my power to protect your love. I promise you this.”

“Thank you, Caleb.”

He relaxed onto the bed. “How much are you going to share with her?”

“I don’t know. I’m a little lost as to where to start.”

Caleb nodded. “It will come to you, but I don’t think we should tell her about Cresil yet. I think it will be too much for her. And we aren’t certain if he is aware of her anyway.”

“I agree.”

He hit me on the knee. “I have something for you.” Caleb stepped out and came back with a brown bag.

I opened it as though whip cream would blow up in my face and laughed when I realized what I was looking at. Inside was a box of protection. “We’re going on a hike today.”

Now Caleb laughed. “I know. I want you two to be careful. Just in case.” He shrugged. “Put them away for that rainy day humans are always concerned about.”

I put the bag up on the highest shelf in my closet.

When Abby opened her front door, my blood rushed south. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, smiling at me, and tight running clothes hugged her curves. Those tiny shorts…my mind flashed to the bag in my closet. Knowing they were readily available made waiting harder somehow.

Once I realized she had dark circles around her eyes with tiny red lines stretching toward her irises, I found my focus. I kissed each eye, healing them. I wished she would share her nightmare with me so I could help take them away.

During the hike, I held Abby’s hand the entire way, healing her. She struggled, thinking she could hide it from me.

Abby fell behind and Caleb muttered, “Come on, Hottie Number Two.”

I rolled my eyes and grunted in return. He would never let this one go.

Calista asked, “How much did she have to drink before you were dubbed Number One?”

“She was dead sober when she numbered us.” Caleb stopped and stared at her. “Did Alexander tell you that? She didn’t start drinking until after.”

Hannah kicked a rock. “You’re sore over the Abby thing still.”

“Am not!” Caleb protested and the girls laughed.

“How long are you going to play this one out?” Hannah asked. “We’re still listening to your Italian sheep tale from the sixteen hundreds.”

His jaw clenched. “They were goats, Hannah!”

“The girl was promised!” Calista huffed. “You ruined a marriage.”

Caleb scoffed. “You could braid his back hair, he was disgusting. I saved her and did the family a favor.”

“You turned the girl into a nun!” Calista flung her arms out.

“I can’t help it, look at me.” Caleb waved over himself. “It was this body and face that ruined her for all men. I didn’t do anything but get her father an excellent deal on a herd of goats. Which, by the way, the family is still raking in the money from goat cheese.”

I couldn’t hold in my laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Abby tugged on my hand.

“Oh. Uh, I was thinking about the garage earlier,” I lied, knowing Abby couldn’t hear any of our banter. I wished she could.

Abby tried her best, but she had to stop more often for sips of water, and she gave Bozo the rest of hers, never asking me for mine. I gave her my bottle and she took it noticing it was still full.

After she drank, I said, “Hop on up, beautiful.”

Abby backed away from my outstretched arms. “Xander, no. Not in front of your family.”

My arms dropped to my sides. “Why not?”

Her eyes darted to my siblings. “It doesn’t matter.”

Tearing my sunglasses off, I wanted her to see how serious I was. “Please stop telling me what does and does not matter. You matter. Everything Abby related matters to me. And my family loves you and would never think any less of you because of your condition. Accepting help doesn’t make you weak, Abby. It takes a strong person to admit they can’t do everything.”

She frowned before I scooped her up, her body slick with sweat. “Not bad. I’m going to give you an A for persuasive speeches.”

“I try not to be amazing, but it’s so damn hard.”

Abby shook with giggles.

Catching up to my siblings, I glared at them, knowing Abby could hear their conversation now.

“We should fly this loop next time,” Caleb said, admiring the terrain. “Guaranteed, I could smoke you guys.”

Hannah argued, “I’m faster at the turns than you, look at the route we would have to take.”

Caleb shook his finger at the scenery. “Get your redhead out of the clouds. I would take you on the straightaways.”

“Hannah’s right. There’s no way you could bank that, Caleb. Her wings are lighter—” I splashed Calista with water to shut her up. Putting her hands out, she looked up. “It’s not raining.” Her head whipped around to me and spied my open water bottle. “Alexander!” She sprayed me back and hit Hannah.

Hannah sprayed Caleb. “Not the hair, Hannah!”

“You’re such a girl!” Hannah spat at him.

He then had to spray everyone with water after we laughed.

We reached the end of the trail and the mountain peak begged us to climb it. I would be able to see the entire Valley from there and wished I could fly Abby up to see it together. I put Abby down for a water break, pretending to take a sip from my bottle. The sun had to be brutal on her. Caleb gave his water to Bozo and sprinkled some on Abby playfully, but I knew he wanted to keep her cool.

“Come on, let’s go!” Calista hit Caleb’s arm, pointing to the peak.

Hannah jumped at the idea and I leaned against the rock.

“You should go with them.” Abby nudged my arm.

“No, I’ll stay. I have to check out the wet T-shirt now,” I said, grinning.

“I know you want to. Go have fun. I’ll watch the Bozo.”

I groaned. “Okay, but stay here. Don’t take one foot out of this circle.” I drew a half-circle around her feet with her back up against the rock.

“All right, but if the ground is wet when you come back, don’t ask any questions.”

“Deal.” I gave her a kiss, probably longer than appropriate with my siblings ten feet away, and left her to scale the mountain.

“You’re behind, Brother!” Caleb yelled down to me. “Those human emotions weighing you down?”

“Nope! In fact, I think they make me faster.”

My sisters cheered as I caught up to them. We pulled ourselves up to the top of the peak, taking in the Valley surrounded by mountain ranges and the miles upon miles of homes, millions of lives never realizing the battle that existed over their souls.

I observed, “We should go soon, Abby’s getting hot.”

“I thought she already was
hot
.” Calista wagged her brows and I rolled my eyes.

Within the same breath, we heard Bozo barking and Caleb yell, “Abby!”

Caleb hit me with his wings, flinging himself off the peak. Without thought, my sisters and I jumped and unfurled our wings mid-air. I didn’t see her at first; Caleb’s feathers blocked my view. When she came into sight, my chest hollowed, and air left my lungs.

My Abby had bloody scratches all over her with deep gouges to her stomach, blood seeping from under her leg, mixing in with the dirt where the cactus spines had sunk in. Her whole body shuddered and tears streamed down her scratched face. Caleb was already healing her heart. I gripped her shoulders, trying to get her to focus. Abby relaxed as Hannah and Calista eased her pain. Blood pooled from her leg—a punctured artery.

“Abby? Can you hear me?” I asked.

Her body shook in response, her skin growing cold and pale.

Caleb said, “She’s losing too much blood. Our only option is to pull her off the spines. Calista and Hannah, you help me lift and heal her. Alexander, control her mind, take her far away from here.”

Our angel light made Abby squint, muttering whispered pleas for her family. Terrified, my hands trembled as I put them up to her head. The one thing I could think of was my greatest desire. It took an incredible amount of concentration to keep her in my thoughts with what I knew was about to happen.

Caleb looked to my sisters. “Okay, ready? Go.”

They yanked her leg off the cactus with a sickening noise, ripping her flesh. Hannah pushed Bozo away as he tried to investigate the scene and we carried her to a clean area. Calista and Hannah healed her wounds while Caleb controlled her heart.

When done, they helped lay her in my arms off the ground. Caleb used his ripped shirt to clean her skin with the remaining water we had. The girls tidied up the area the best they could, and found Abby’s hat and sunglasses up the hill.

Hannah’s hand appeared on my shoulder. “We must decide, Brother. Do we wipe her memory or reveal ourselves? Either way we will support your decision.”

My head craned back to see their return gaze filled with pity. I didn’t think the decision would come this soon. Today was supposed to be fun; it wasn’t supposed to be like this—holding my girlfriend in my arms, fearing the loss of her forever. “I can’t lose her, but if I keep lying, she will eventually leave.”

Calista held my face, her eyes kind. “Everything will work out, Alexander. She loves you, she will accept us.” I wasn’t convinced of that. If I had been, I would have told Abby the truth long ago.

I couldn’t think with them here. “You guys go ahead. I won’t be long.”

Caleb picked up Bozo and they flew home. I looked down at Abby, so beautiful and peaceful. A smile played on her lips and her body moved with my thoughts. Keeping my hand to her head, I brought my lips down to her soft pink mouth and kissed her. This could be our last kiss. I would never forget her; my heart would never be the same.

“I love you, my Abby, above all else, know this. I would give up everything for a life together. Heaven could never compare to you.”

I let her dream and the fissure in my heart widened with every beat of hers. The dream went past the point I had intended, afraid to wake her. Abby’s arms linked around my neck, moans escaped, and her body moved sensually against me. She called out my name, which blew my focus. I had no choice but to stop her dream and take her home. The moment before she opened her eyes was the most agonizing moment of my existence.