To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) (32 page)

After brushing my teeth, I combed through my damp hair. I had packed a light pink satin slip and frowned when I realized how low cut it was and would show my scar. The fabric was thin, and it was short. This wasn’t appropriate. I’d been in tears when I packed and mindlessly grabbed it from my drawer. I could probably sneak under the sheets before he came in. Better yet, I would throw on one of his T-shirts.

Holding my towel, I dabbed the ends of my long hair. I opened the door to his room and gasped, catching Xander’s attention. Xander sat on the bed, holding something. I threw the towel in front of my chest and covered myself. I didn’t think he noticed what I was wearing, but I couldn’t read his face.

“I wasn’t snooping. I heard your phone and went into your bag. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t Mel. She promised me she would cover for us.” He held up the two gold wrappers that Mel had forced me to take.

My eyes widened and mouth opened. I swallowed hard and blurted out, “Mel gave me those! She thought we… I didn’t ask for them! I didn’t want them, but it happened really fast.”

He stood and I watched him put them in his nightstand drawer. His movements were measured and his stare was unreadable. What was he thinking? Was he mad? Did he believe me?

Diverting my eyes to the floor, I was desperate to change the subject. “I used your towel. Sorry. I forgot to look for one before my shower.” His hand reached to grab the towel from me, but I held it, shaking my head. “This isn’t what I would have picked out to sleep over. I was upset when I packed. I was going to put one of your shirts on if that’s okay.”

Another tug exposed me and my hands shot over my scar. Xander took my hands and forced them to my sides, and pushed me away from him. His heated stare was intense and each second eternal. His body hardened, grumbled something, and he stepped toward the bathroom.

I winced, not sure if I wanted to know. “What did you say?”

He paused, turning his head to the side. “I said damn summer.”

“Why
damn summer
?” My voice came out squeaky.

“Because we won’t have any cold water, not that it would help much anyway.” His eyes anchored to my chest and heat curled in my core, settling between my thighs. Xander blew out a slow breath. “And no, you can’t have one of my shirts.” He shut the door behind him and a wide grin spread across my lips.

Leaving the side lamp on, I climbed into bed under the sheets that were cool against my skin and smelled like Xander. The pillows were soft and downy like his feathers.

Xander was out of the shower minutes later—I envied guys could do that. He appeared wearing black nylon shorts that hung indecently low on his hips and I looked away, blushing. He grabbed a pillow from the bed.

“Where are you going?” I asked alarmed.

“Abby, I don’t think I should stay in here tonight.”

I sat up, clutching the sheet. “They weren’t mine!”

He laughed. “I believe you. Abby, I may be an angel, but I’m still very much a guy.” He clutched the pillow tighter. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I had dreamed of you in my bed. But you will be my wife when that happens.” He waved to his bed with a look of disgust. “And it won’t be here. It will be where I dreamed it, in a bed of white with candles and roses. It will be a moment you deserve. And with you looking like this. With those condoms nearby—”

“Then throw them away and I’ll change. You wanted me here.”

He shook his head. “Abby,” he warned.

“Xander, please.” I picked at the comforter. “I feel tainted. Dirty. I’m ashamed that I didn’t know it was real. I keep replaying it…the way he felt and where he touched me. When I close my eyes, he’s always there. I need you as much as you need me. I want you to take those thoughts away, even if it’s just for tonight.”

Within a breath, Xander threw back the covers, hauled me on top of him, and his mouth sealed to mine. Our legs entwined, locking our bodies together, his skin warmed me through the thin satin fabric. Strong hands ran along the length of my body as I kissed his jaw, down his throat and hard chest. His breaths remained even and calm while I panted and my heart pounded.

Xander’s body tensed under me and he rolled us. My breaths slowed down as he found his focus and his mouth returned to mine. His tongue tasted like sweet mint, sweeping in and twisting with my own.

Warm fingers crept underneath the satin and dragged it up so our stomachs touched. Xander rested between my legs, closer to me, and I welcomed that warmth to pulse through me, heating me, intensifying my desire to be with him.

With a shift of his body, I felt his hardness push against me, my hips rising to meet his. His long fingers grazed my stomach and inched farther up, stopping just to the underside of my breast. My back arched with a plea for him to keep going. Xander rocked against me and a groan rumbled in his chest, vibrating through me. Without thought, letting passion take over, I dipped my fingers under his shorts, sliding along his smooth skin.

Xander shuddered and drew away from me. His hazel eyes were wide and wary, and when I stretched to touch him, he climbed out of bed. Xander reached for something crinkly on the top shelf of his closet—a brown paper bag. He opened the nightstand drawer, collected the packets, and walked out of the room. A minute later, he appeared, running his fingers through damp, disheveled hair.

With a smirk, he said, “I think I’m more guy than angel, Abby.”

“I think it’s the opposite,” I breathed out. Xander climbed back into bed, turned off the light, and tucked me against him. Resting my head on his chest, he played with my wet hair. “What was in the closet?”

His body shook with laughter under me. “Caleb gave me a whole box of them this morning.”

“Where did you put them?”

“Beneath the ice cream cartons. In the trash.”

47

Abby

Waking up in Xander’s arms was heavenly. He was still asleep when I shimmied out of his hold and snuck into the bathroom. While I braided my hair, he wrapped around me and buried his face in my neck.

Warm lips brushed my skin. “Morning, beautiful.”

“I could have more mornings like this.”

His mouth drifted up to the sensitive skin behind my ear and tingles shot down my spine. “Next time, stay in bed with me.”

I couldn’t help but feel giddy over his request.

He brushed his teeth and I marveled at his shirtless body, ruffled hair, and muscles moving nimbly with the simple morning task. “What?” he asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.

I shook my head. “I’m trying to get used to the fact you’re a Guardian angel, who is so perfect he can eat ice cream by the gallon and still look like that.” I waved over his body.

Laughing, he spit out the toothpaste. “I am pretty impressive.”

I giggled and turned to leave the bathroom.

He grabbed my arm, his eyes earnest. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes, for the first time in days, I didn’t have a nightmare.” My eyes closed as he leaned down to kiss my lids. “Xander, I didn’t tell you the reason I kept my nightmare a secret.”

He tugged me flush to his chest. “Oh?”

“Since I can remember dreaming, I’ve had that nightmare. But when I was younger, you held me like a big brother. For some time now, it’s been much more.” I traced the muscles on his bare chest. “When I find you, you kiss me, like we kiss now.

“Xander, I’ve loved you in some way my entire life. When that part of the dream changed, I fell in love with you. I thought if I told you any of this you’d think I was crazy and I’d scare you off.”

“You always loved me?” His smile was wistful.

“Yes, and when I sent that stupid text, I freaked out. I thought I blew it with you.”

He laughed. “No, never. I understand why you wouldn’t tell me.”

“But the one good thing in my nightmare is our kiss. I kiss you every night.”

He brushed his knuckles along my cheek. “Seems unfair in a way. You’ve had much more experience kissing me than I have kissing you.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, but you have the white room fantasy thing going on. And we’re naked. That’s way better!” I grinned.

Nodding, his expression turned thoughtful. “Yes, my dream is way better than yours.”

“Always one to accept a compliment graciously, Wright.”

He flashed his thousand-watt smile.

Xander changed, grabbed my hand, and we joined everyone for breakfast. A feast spread out on the table of pancakes, sausage, bacon, and scrambled eggs. Did they always eat this much? The bright morning sun filtered through the windows and smiles played on his siblings’ faces when they spotted us. All this time, I thought the Wrights were some kind of superhuman, and it turned out they weren’t human after all.

After breakfast, Xander and I cleared the table. While we washed dishes, not all his touches were necessary, and that sly smile tugged up when I caught him.

Xander’s siblings invited us to go to the movies with them, but after the emotionally exhausting post-hike outing, we stayed and enjoyed the quiet. I felt so comfortable here with him, as though this was what our future would be like. Snuggling on the couch, we watched our own movie. I remembered a finger trailing my arm, and then lips brushing a spot behind my ear that made my toes curl. He turned me over and I was lost to his kiss until it was time to leave. We moved slowly, hating that our weekend was over.

Xander dropped me off at Mel’s. Her excited bounce tamed slightly when I shook my head to stop whatever inappropriate comment was ready to fly out of her mouth. Kissing me good-bye, Xander said he would see me in the morning.

Once in the Lexus, Mel spun on me. “Okay, spill!” she said it with such force, I flung back against the door.

“Mel, nothing happened. He found them, by the way, thank you very much!”

She shrugged. “Hey, better safe than sorry.”

“Anyway, we’re waiting until we’re married.”

She checked her makeup in the mirror as if we were going somewhere other than my house. “Fine. But I still think you should hang onto them in case you change your mind.”

“He threw them away.”

She peered over her sunglasses. “Uh, oh. Was he mad?”

“No. He didn’t want to add temptation. He figured if they were there we would use them.”

She muttered, “Man, he is old fashioned.”

“Yeah, he is.” She had no idea how old.

I opened my front door to the twins’ music blasting out. Olivia’s feet flew up, and then down; her failed cartwheel had the twins in a giggle fit. Margaret was beside herself because she couldn’t hear her recorded soaps. I followed a trail of twin-mess to their room and found Mom organizing their closet. “Hi.”

Mom looked up from a mountain of toys. “Hi, kiddo. How was Mel’s?”

“Fine.”

“You okay? Missing Alexander already? It’s been what, an agonizing twenty-two hours since you saw him?” If she only knew.

I rolled my eyes. “Funny, Mom. You want help?”

Her blue eyes widened. “Yes!”

We spent the afternoon organizing toys, clothes, dressers, and their closet. Dad almost twisted an ankle stepping in to kiss us hello before changing out of his work clothes. Before bed, I snuggled with everyone on the couch to watch
Cutthroat Kitchen
.

When I said goodnight to my parents, a thought occurred to me. “Mel told me there were home invasions in her parents’ neighborhood.”

Dad looked up from the television. “Hmm, that’s not far away. We should double check the windows.”

Dad ran through the house ensuring the locks were engaged and turned on the house alarm, which we usually neglected to set. Before going to sleep, I checked my phone.

Xander:
My bed smells like you. I miss you.

Me:
Miss you, too. Dream of me?

Xander:
Always. I love you, Abby.

That night, my nightmare came back. At least I had one good night without it.

Xander was at my house on time to pick me up for school. Margaret still gave him the stink eye when she thought I wasn’t looking.

Walking to my locker, Jake was there. I hadn’t seen him since Xander carried him out by the neck. Holding my hand, Xander pulled me with him.

“Hey, Abby, Xander.” Was this the good Jake?

Xander greeted Jake, smiling. “Hey, Jake.”

What was going on?

“You have a good weekend?” Jake asked us.

I blushed remembering the good parts. “Yeah, it was good. You?”

“It sucked, I was sick in bed since Wednesday night. I couldn’t eat solid food until Saturday. You guys didn’t get sick did you?” We shook our heads and Jake said, “Hopefully, it was only me. Do me a favor and don’t tell Greg he was right about the nachos. I’ll never hear the end of it. Anyway, see ya at lunch.”

On the way to chemistry, I asked, “What was that?”

“What?” Xander blinked. Was he really going to play this game?

I pointed behind us. “You were nice to Jake.”

“Yeah.”

I stopped, gauging his reaction. “You hate him.”

“No, not him.”

My brows knitted and I tilted my head at him. “What does that mean?”

He sighed. “It’s in the file, Abby.” His eyes filled with an unspoken apology. “It’s for your own good. Trust me, please?”

I looked away from him; I didn’t know how much more of the no-answer game I could play. He revealed so much already, but how much more was he keeping from me?

At our lunch table, Mel and Greg sat close, whispering, and a surge of giddiness went through me at their budding romance. I didn’t see Beth, which was odd. She was in chemistry today.

I asked, “Mel, where’s Beth?”

It took a few seconds for those green eyes to disengage from Greg. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since breakfast.”

I told Xander I would be back and he muttered something around the sandwich in his mouth. His look said,
Wait, I’ll go with you.

I checked the common area before I called her. Maddie & Tae’s “Girl in a Country Song” came from the bathroom. Inside, Beth’s flip-flopped feet were in a stall and sobbing noises echoed behind the metal door.

I knocked. “It’s Abby.” My phone pinged with a text.

Xander:
You okay? Did you find her?

Me:
I’m fine. Beth is upset. In the bathroom by the quad.

The door opened and I gasped. She was in full-on Bethie-breakdown mode with swollen red eyes, a raw nose, and her perfect peaches and cream complexion was splotchy. I pulled her thin frame into a hug. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Everything,” she wailed. “After class, Angela told me Mark is spreading rumors about me. After her, five more people came up to me. Why? He cheated on me. Months ago! Then he hooked up with
Danielle
.” She grimaced like she ate an entire lemon covered in salt. “And he’s been with dozens since. Why is he acting like this is high school all over again?”

“What’s he saying?”

She blew her nose into the rough toilet paper. “I’m a bad lay!”

I rubbed her arm. “I’m sorry, Beth. What can I do?”

Without missing a beat, she said, “Castrate him.”

“How do you want it done? Hot poker? Dull knife?”

She laughed and dried her tears. Mel found us and we fixed Beth with Mel’s arsenal of makeup. Xander lingered outside the door to give me a kiss before class, but I had a feeling he had been there since our text.

During biology, Will had his head on the desk, another migraine. To cheer him up, I gave him my best Australian accent. “You sound like a drunk English cowgirl. Leave impersonations to the professionals.”

I nudged him. “You should be happy I didn’t sing to you.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, I am.” Will counted out radish seeds for our experiment. “You wouldn’t believe this hiking trail I’ve been exploring. I wish you could come.”

“Yeah, I wish a lot of things,” I grumbled.

He threw me a pity frown. “I’ve been getting into photography, too. I told you my dad’s a wedding photographer, didn’t I?”

I nodded. “Yeah, last year. What kind of pictures are you taking?”

“He said to start with simple stuff, like flowers. I have a lot of pictures of flowers.” He sighed. “I don’t like flowers.”

I laughed. “No cats. No flowers. What a sweetheart.”

He shrugged with a tired grin. “I don’t like puppies and babies either.”

“I think you should live in a bubble.”

He laughed, then winced. “I should.”

Despite his throbbing head, Will continued with another hiking adventure. My mind drifted back to Beth. Maybe they could hit it off. He never mentioned Sophie, and I was sure if he were interested, he would have asked about her.

Xander wasn’t at my locker and it surprised me how awkward it was walking to cooking class without him. He was already here at Mrs. Bradley’s desk, talking with her.

A tap on the shoulder made me turn, and two pale arms hugged me. I’d never seen Sophie smile this big. “I have a date this weekend!”

“What?” My arms went up as though I had made a touchdown. “Who is it?”

“Jordan Brent!” Jordan was a nice guy, spent his life in the library like Sophie did.

My hands clapped together. “How great! Where is he taking you?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe if it goes well he will ask me to Jake’s Halloween party?” She did a happy dance. Another first.

“I’m sure he will.”

Mrs. Bradley had us making chocolate cupcakes today and paired us because the recipe was time-consuming. I had Mark. Great. Sophie was with Greg and Xander paired with Jake.

I went to Mark’s kitchen since he hadn’t even bothered to look up yet. He continued to text while I collected the ingredients and pulled out the equipment. Five minutes passed and I had enough. “Mark, you have to help.”