To Be a Dad (Harlequin Superromance) (20 page)

She turned to Pops, who stood by her side, waiting for an answer. “I can’t tell you what you want to hear, Pops. I wish I could say we were in love, but Dusty and I still have a lot to figure out.”

“You better hurry up, because Brendon and Sarah have already made up their minds.” He nodded toward the back of the boat, where his son was holding her children.

Her stomach clenched. The harder she tried, the more out of control her life became. She wanted more. She wanted it all—love and lust and friendship—and she wouldn’t settle for anything less. She’d had to settle all her life. But she refused to settle when it came to marriage.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

A
FEW
DAYS
LATER
, Teressa stiffened when Dusty snuck up behind her in the café kitchen and laid a rose on the counter. She snatched it up and spun around to find him standing far closer than she’d thought. His wide shoulders blocked the view of the rest of the kitchen. Adam had the afternoon off—more wedding preparations—and other than Tyler, who was doing heavens knows what in the dining room, she was the only one working.

She shoved the rose toward him. “What’s this?”

He smirked. There had been a lot of that going on lately with him and the kids, and it was driving her nuts. “A rose.”

“I know it’s a rose. Why are you giving it to me?”

He let out an exaggerated sigh. Or maybe it was heartfelt. She’d been trying harder to be nice since her talk with Pops the day of the whale sighting. She couldn’t stand Dusty being mad at her. Things had thawed between them, but they weren’t as easy around each other as they used to be.

And if she was being honest, all three, Dusty and Brendon and Sarah, had been super annoying the past week. They’d be talking and giggling—giggling!—but would stop the minute she walked into the room. There’d also been way too much whispering going on. At first she’d tried to be a good sport, happy that Dusty seemed to be getting along with her children so well. But she finally had to admit that she was jealous of the easy camaraderie that had blossomed among the three of them. She felt left out of her own family, and she didn’t like the feeling. Now Dusty was sucking up to her for some reason.

“Because a pretty lady was selling roses outside the liquor store and I wanted an excuse to talk to her. Or—” he smiled “—because I wanted to give you a rose.”

She sniffed. “Thank you. I think. What were you doing at the liquor store?” God help her, she’d sounded exactly like her mother when she uttered those words. What was happening to her?

“Buying some beer for Pops and Cal. We’re going to the hunting camp tonight.” He hesitated, his brow wrinkling. “I thought I might ask Brendon if he wanted to come, too. I think he’d like to hang out with the guys. And maybe your dad,” he added. “He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to hang out, but then maybe no one ever asked him.”

It was exactly the kind of thing she always wished would happen; that the children would have a real father who would take them on adventures. But it hurt to think her little boy was growing up and wanted to spend time with men instead of her. She blinked back tears. “Are you going to drink beer, too?”

Dusty sighed again. “Teressa, do you really think I’d take Brendon to the hunting camp and tie one on?”

“No. Sorry.” She felt stupid because she wanted to wail her heart out. She couldn’t help but feel as if her little boy was starting to like Dusty more than her.

“Hey.” Dusty put a finger under her chin and lifted it up until she had to look directly into his beautiful blue eyes. “What’s going on with you?”

She folded her arms around her waist. “Nothing.”

“Except you looked like you’d lost your best friend when I said I wanted to take Brendon to the hunting camp with me.” His eyes lit up. “You’re jealous.”

“I am not. I’m just...” She stopped to swallow her tears. “He’s my little boy, and he’s never... I’ve never...”

Dusty pulled her into his arms. She took a deep calming breath and exhaled, her tension melting away. For the first time in weeks, she felt as if she didn’t have to hold on tight or everything would fall apart. She inhaled again, just to breathe in the smell of him.

“You’re going to miss your little boy,” he said.

Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I know I’m being silly, but I can’t help myself. Things are changing too fast.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Tee. If you don’t want Brendon to go with me, that’s okay.”

“I want him to. It’ll be good for him. It’s just...he’s only three.”

“I won’t drink, and I’ll bring him home tonight if he wants.”

“I know you’ll take good care of him. It’s okay. It’s just my hormones acting up.”

He laughed down at her. “I don’t suppose they’re
acting
acting up, if you know what I mean.”

“I feel weepy, that’s all.”

“Too bad because you feel damned good in my arms.”

“I’m fat and my face is all splotchy from crying.”

When his gaze dropped to her breasts then to her belly, her skin turned sensitive from his hungry look. “That’s not what I’m seeing.” He grinned.

She pouted, feeling ridiculous but not able to stop feeling sorry for herself, either. “I thought you hated me. Besides, I’m not wearing anything lacy today. Nothing interesting to see here.”

“I don’t hate you, Teressa. And FYI, interesting would be if you wore nothing at all. Everything else is just window dressing in my opinion.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at him. He sounded so earnest. “I’m getting bigger everywhere. Nothing fits.”

“So buy some new stuff.”

“Maybe.” She didn’t want to discuss money. Her own money was stretched to the limit, paying the mortgage on the café and covering the children’s expenses. At least she didn’t have to pay rent.

He dropped his arms and stepped away from her. An edge crept into his voice. “If you’d let me open that joint account like I wanted to, you’d have enough money.”

“Right.”

“I noticed the other day that the kids need new winter jackets, too. You should take them shopping.”

“I will. Soon.” As soon as she’d saved enough to buy them jackets and boots.

He looked as though he wanted to say something else, but changed his mind. Instead, he smiled. “Don’t suppose I can talk you into making a pot of your famous chili? Pops is bringing breakfast, and Cal’s got the munchies covered. I said I’d bring supper.”

“When are you going?”

“I don’t know. As soon as Brendon gets out of day care, I guess. I want to go for a walk in the woods with him before dark.”

“You have to tell Carmen you’re taking him.”

“Already did.” His expression turned guarded when she frowned at him. “What? I said I had to ask you first. I’ve still got to phone her.”

She’d managed to shove Carmen to the back of her mind the past couple of weeks. But she always seemed to be around wherever Dusty was. “When did you see her?”

“She went to town with me today.”

“Excuse me?”

“I, ah...I needed her help with some...stuff. So she came with me. But she’s home now,” he added. “She’s picking Sarah up after school.”

“What did you need help with?”

Dusty started fiddling with the rolling pin she’d been using when he came in. “Stuff.”

She took the rolling pin away from him. “What kind of stuff?”

He stuck his hands in his pockets and studied the wall above her head. “I can’t tell.”

She pulled her stool over in front of him, sat and crossed her arms. “I think you can.”

“It’s a secret.”

“Even if I’m not ready to get married, I don’t appreciate you hiding things from me. Especially if it involves you spending the day with a beautiful woman.”

He picked up the rose, snapped off the stem and tucked the flower behind her ear. “Okay, but you’ve got to act surprised. The kids and I are planning a surprise birthday party for you this weekend. Carmen helped me buy the decorations for the party because both Sylvie and Anita were too busy.”

Teressa dug her fingers into the edges of the stool. Otherwise, she’d fly apart into a million different pieces. “Oh, Dusty,” she managed to say before her tears took over.

When he scooped her into his arms a second time, it felt like such a safe place to be. She rested her head against his chest and let her tears flow. She’d missed him so much the past few days.

“Sarah and Brendon said you’ve never had a birthday party, and when I tried to remember, I couldn’t think of one, either.” He rubbed soothing circles on her back. “They’re so excited, Teressa. I wanted to tell you, but I promised them I wouldn’t. If you don’t act surprised, you’ll ruin everything.”

“I’m sorry.”

He laughed. “For what? Being pregnant?” He grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the desk behind him and handed them to her. “Those are good tears, right? You’re not upset, are you?”

“No.” She blew her nose and wiped the tears away. “I was jealous because you were having such a good time with Sarah and Brendon, and they didn’t seem to need me, and neither did you. I’m used to being the center of their universe. It’s stupid, but my emotions are all over the place these days. I’m not making much sense.” She wiped her eyes again and tried to smile. “I don’t know why I’m so weepy. I didn’t feel like this when I was pregnant with Sarah and Brendon.”

“That’s because you can this time.”

“Can what?”

“Be weepy. You were on your own before, except for your mother. But you’ve got me this time.” He took her hand. “I like to think me being around helps a bit.”

He did a ton of little things for her and the kids. But even if he didn’t, just knowing he was there for them was enough. His fitting into their lives had happened so gradually, she’d almost not noticed.

She squeezed his hand. “I know I don’t always make it easy for you, but that’s because I’m used to taking care of everything myself. I’m not very good at sharing.”

He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. “The past month has been a steep learning curve for me, too. But you know what? I think we’re making progress, Teressa. Sometimes, we almost feel like a family.”

She ran her hand along his jaw, loving the feel of his rough beard against her palm. She stood on tiptoe and brought her mouth close to his. “You’re not going to ask me to marry you again, are you?”

“No, ma’am.” He slid his hands down her back and over her behind. “You want to get married, you’ll have to do the asking. Besides, we don’t have to be married to be a family.”

She loved feeling the way she did right now, warm and safe in Dusty’s arms. Heat burned through her the minute she pressed her lips against his and felt his answering pressure, and she loved that even more.

“Geez, how come every time I walk into the kitchen someone’s kissing someone else these days?” Tyler whined as he hovered just inside the door.

When Teressa laughed, Tyler looked surprised. Hmm, maybe she should try laughing more often. “Who else is kissing in my kitchen?”

“Adam and Sylvie, duh. And...” He frowned. “You were in the bathroom the other day, crying or whatever, and Pops came into the kitchen to find some more butter for that nurse from the seniors’ home. She followed him in, and I caught them cozying up inside the walk-in cooler.” His frown looked fierce. “That’s just not right. What if he had another heart attack?”

“At least Ada would know what to do.” Dusty laughed.

“Dude, he’s too old to be fooling around like that. You’ve got to tell him to cool it.”

“More importantly, why didn’t you get him the butter to start with?” Teressa said, pretending to scold him. Tyler was the worst waiter she’d ever worked with, but his mother was the best hairdresser in the village, and Teressa had been going to her since her teens. If they fired Tyler—not that there was anyone to replace him—his mother might cut her off. And Tyler kind of grew on a person after a while.

“I tried. Honest, boss. I think he wanted to impress the hot nurse.”

“Her name’s Ada,” Dusty said.

“Yeah, well she’s still hot. Does she just look after the old people at the seniors’ center or if, like, I got sick, would she come to my house?”

Teressa laughed at the same time Dusty did. “I’m pretty sure she only works at the center.” Teressa turned back to the pie dough she’d rolled out before Dusty had interrupted her. “She’s a little old for you, anyway. What happened to Melissa?”

Red blotches stained Tyler’s face and neck. “She dumped me.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Dusty patted his shoulder. “You’ve gotta go through a few to find the right one.”

“Is that what you did? You dated like a gazillion babes and ended up with Teressa. ’Course she’s pregnant.”

Teressa’s stomach plummeted. She wrapped her hand around the rolling pin, but made herself loosen her grip. Tyler was just a stupid kid who didn’t know anything about life beyond their village.

And she did? She was as small-town as him, although inside, she didn’t feel that way. He was only repeating what everyone else was saying, that Dusty was making the best of the situation. What if everyone was right? What if she was the ultimate charity case?

Dusty put his arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t end up with Teressa. I chose her. She’s the one who doesn’t want to marry me. I keep hoping I’ll convince her to have me, though.”

Oh, hell. Did everything Dusty say these days make her cry? “Let go.” She shrugged off his arm. “I’ve got work to do.” She didn’t want him to save her or spare her feelings or whatever he was trying to do. She wanted to be his equal in every way, not the old lady who lived in a shoe, who had so many children....

She’d finally started thinking of the house as hers, or partly hers, and had even added a few personal touches, like hanging the awesome painting in the living room that Sylvie had given to her a few years ago. She loved that painting and was proud to own a Sylvie Carson original, but had never had a wall big enough to hang it on except the bedroom in her mother’s old carriage house. Now the painting absolutely shone on her living room wall. She’d like to buy a rug to reflect the colors in the painting but that would have to wait. First she had to buy Sarah and Brendon new winter coats.

The point was she thought of the house as home, and that was progress of a kind, right? Maybe if she was patient, more things would fall into place as easily.

“Good luck with convincing her to marry you,” Tyler snickered as he grabbed his jacket and slid out the back door.

“So, where were we?” Dusty said from behind her.

“Back to work is where I am.” She was going to ruin the piecrust if she kept rolling it over and over again. She didn’t know why she felt so prickly. It was getting harder, not easier, to be around Dusty these days. Boundaries kept disappearing. She was just too damned comfortable, and it didn’t pay to feel that way. It was a sure bet that things were going to fall apart.