To Be a Dad (Harlequin Superromance) (18 page)

“So if she wants to try for another baby, I should let her?”

“I think you should both go back to the doctor and listen with your heads, not your hearts this time. Calculate the risk and figure out if it’s worth it.”

“And let her help Adam with the wedding,” Dusty added.

Pops looked at him, obviously fighting a smile. “One problem at a time. Are you okay, Cal? Want to talk about it some more?”

“No. You’re right, I haven’t been thinking about what Anita wants. I’ll ask her to schedule another doctor’s appointment. Or see a different doctor, if she’d agree to that. I know we need to move on with our lives. It’s just...if anything ever happened to her, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“What’s the problem with the wedding?”

Grateful for the distraction, especially about something that wasn’t his problem, Cal relaxed. It had nearly killed him confessing to his father how he’d screwed up. But as usual, Pops had set him on the right path and boosted his ego a bit, too. He knew Anita had been miserable with her life when he met her, and that she had delighted in so many little, inconsequential things since coming to live with him. Like hanging around the house in pajamas Sunday morning or leaving the dirty dishes until the next day because their passion for each other took precedence over a clean house.

“Sylvie’s making Adam do everything, and he hasn’t a clue about anything. Me, neither,” he added.

“I’ll help him.”

“But you’re the father-in-law.”

“I’m also the father of the bride, and I’ve got the time.”

Dusty snickered. “Can I be there when you tell Adam?”

“Don’t you ever grow up?” Cal said.

“Believe it or not, I’m trying.”

The oven dinged, and Dusty got up to look inside. “Lasagna. Yum. You guys want to stay for supper? It looks like Teressa made enough to last a week.”

“Love to, if Teressa doesn’t mind,” Pops said.

“I’ll call her.”

“No need. She just pulled up,” Cal said, looking out the window. “Where you going?”

Dusty shoved his feet into his boots. “To help her bring the kids in.”

“Uh-huh.” Cal winked at Pops. “And to beg the missus to let him invite people over for supper.”

“Shut up.”

“Boys,” Pops admonished.

Dusty and Cal grinned at each other. It felt like old times.

“Call Anita. We’ve got tons of food, honest. I’ll make a salad to go with the lasagna.”

Feeling better than he had for a long time, Cal punched in Anita’s number. Family suppers were the kind of thing she went nuts for. And after hanging out with his family, maybe it would be a good time for them to talk about starting one of their own.

* * *

D
USTY
SLIPPED
OUT
the door and hurried over to the minivan. Halfway there, he realized there was a man sitting in the front seat beside Teressa. Teressa rolled her window down. “I invited Dad to eat supper with us. Whose trucks?”

“Cal and Pops. They’re staying for supper, too. We’ve got enough, right? I’ll make a salad. Hey, Mr. Wilder.” He smiled at the thin, gray man.

She raised her eyebrows. “Sure. There are a couple baguettes in the freezer. We can do garlic bread, too.”

“I got my hair cut, Dusty,” Brendon chirped as he tumbled out of the backseat.

Dusty squatted down. He couldn’t remember Brendon voluntarily telling him anything before. “You look good, kid.”

Brendon grinned at him. “Grampy cut it. He wants to go see the whale, too.”

Dusty stood. Why had he ever mentioned the damned whale? A kid as small as Brendon wouldn’t understand if the whale decided not to show, plus it was getting close to the time for the last of the whales to migrate south for the winter, and there weren’t as many around. He hated disappointing people, and he seemed to be doing that a lot these days. Whether they saw a whale or not, he’d make sure Brendon had a good time.

He put his hand on the little boy’s head. “We’ll have to check the weather. I think tomorrow is supposed to be a nice day, so we’ll probably go then. You got any friends you want to bring?”

Brendon leaned back to look up at him. “Anita and Grampy. Mom can come, too, if she wants.”

But no one Brendon’s age. Weird kid. At his age, he’d had a posse of friends already.

“Grampy cut my hair, too,” Sarah said.

“It looks nice, Sarah.” It would look better if Wilder had cut more of the wild curls off, but no way was he going there.

She leaned against him. “Will you carry me to the house?”

“Sarah!” Teressa scolded.

“How about you take your grandfather in and show him the house,” Dusty suggested. “Your mother and I will be there in a minute.”

Teressa stood beside him as they watched the three of them walk to the house. Dusty draped an arm over her shoulders. “I take it the visit went okay?”

She leaned her slender frame against him. “It was great. Except for the part when he called Linda to say he was coming here for supper.”

“She must have hated not being invited.”

“I guess, but there’s not much I can do about it right now.”

He pulled her into an embrace. “Give it time. She’ll come around.” He kissed the top of her head. “Hope you don’t mind I asked Pops and Cal and Anita for supper.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s your—” Chuckling, she buried her face in his jacket.

He laughed with her. “Yeah, I went there, too. Teressa?”

She looked up.

“You’re feeling okay, aren’t you?”

“You mean with the pregnancy?”

“Yeah. No more twinges or anything?”

“I’m fine, Dusty. Stop worrying.” She slipped her arm through his, and they started walking toward the house. “You’ve got yourself a genuine brood mare. Hips like mine were designed for popping out kids.”

He ran his hand over one hip then squeezed her behind. “That explains why I get so turned on looking at you.”

She tried to swat at his hand. “Behave yourself.”

He laughed. “Or what? You’re going to make me go to bed?”

She laughed with him. “What’s gotten into you?”

He stopped by the door. Other than he was excited about everyone getting together for supper at his and Teressa’s house? “I realized today what a lucky man I am. I want us to get married.”

With a sinking heart, he watched her face close up. She was going to say no. Again.

“Dusty. Please. We’ve been over this. Why do you always pick the most inappropriate times to propose to me?”

“Why not? We’ve got a lot going for us, Teressa. All you have to do is say yes.”

“Because...” She looked everywhere but at him. “I know this is going to sound stupid, especially coming from someone like me, but I don’t want to get married because it’s the right thing to do. I want to get married because I’m in love.”

And there he had it—the truth. He hunched his shoulders and yanked the door open. Teressa didn’t love him. Had no intention of ever loving him.

What else had he expected?

CHAPTER TEN

J
EANS
WERE
MADE
to be worn by men like Dusty. Her arms full of dirty dishes, Teressa admired the view from behind as he loaded the dishwasher a few hours later, after everyone had left. He was in incredible shape, and as much as she liked how his jeans molded themselves to his tight behind, she wouldn’t mind seeing more. Or less. Like no clothes. They’d only had one night of getting naked together, but she’d never forget the feel of his satin skin stretched over muscles that rippled under her fingers as she explored his body.

“That was nice tonight.” She shoved the dishes on the counter.

Dusty chuckled. “Wish I’d gotten a picture of Adam’s face when Pops offered to help with the wedding. Any more of that pumpkin pie he brought?”

“All gone.” She moved behind him and put her hands on his waist. “You have a really nice family.”

He straightened. “I like them. Adam fits right in, don’t you think?”

She moved in closer, pressing her body against his. She loved the way his muscles rippled with movement. “I thought his eyeballs were going to pop out when Pops started talking about the wedding. Makes sense for your dad to help, though.”

She slid her hand around to his front and slipped it up under his T-shirt. Heat shot through her as she traced the line of hair down his belly to his waistband.

He grabbed her hand. “What are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?” His ass muscles tightened as she rubbed against him from behind.

He grabbed both her hands this time, pulled them out from under his T-shirt and turned around. “I’m not in the mood. I’m tired.”

Teressa laughed, amazed he’d managed to say that with a straight face.

When she gripped the bottom of his shirt, he squeezed her hands. “I’m serious. I’m not interested.”

Dusty was
always
interested. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

He stepped away from the dishwasher and folded his arms. “I’m good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to marry. Is that it?”

“Oh, my God.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “Do you hear yourself? Who are you, and what have you done with Dusty? Besides, who said anything about having sex? I was just trying to cop a feel.”

“Funny. Not. I meant it when I said we should get married. I don’t want Duke to think we didn’t want him. We need to get serious about having a real relationship, because kids need stability. But you’re not even interested in discussing us and what we’re doing. Plus, this is a small town we live in. I worry the kids at school are going to start making cracks to Sarah and Brendon about us not being married.”

This was so not the way she’d imagined the evening going. She gazed longingly at the beautiful picture Dusty made standing in the kitchen. The top of his hair was bleached almost white by the sun while underneath, the color looked as dark as his shadowed jaw. She liked his ocean-blue eyes more when they sparkled with humor, but even serious they were a beautiful color. This grim Dusty was a different person from the one she knew, and she wasn’t sure where he’d come from. She’d imagined them cuddling up on the couch and talking about the dinner and who said what to whom. It had all sounded so cozy in her head when she’d thought about it.

“You’re not calling our child Duke,” she said. “It’s too big of a name for a baby. And I’m not going to get married while I’m pregnant. I don’t care if I’m being selfish, that’s how I feel.” She also didn’t like being rejected. It stung. “Heaven knows what people already say about me, but they are not going to say Dusty Carson married me because he knocked me up. I know this is hard to believe, but I still have some pride left.”

“That’s just an excuse. Anyone who knows you realizes you’re smart and successful, and that you’ve got it all together. What you mean is you don’t want to marry
me
.” He put his hands on his head and spun around. “I’m so stupid. I thought you just needed time to adjust to being pregnant again and to the idea of getting married. But that’s not it at all. It’s marrying
me
that’s the problem. And you know what’s really pathetic? I know where you’re coming from. I screw up with your kids more often than I get things right. And they run hot and cold with me. Some days I feel like I’m barely tolerated around here. Obviously, Sarah and Brendon take their cues from their mother. You can’t kid a kid,” he said bitterly.

Teressa slowly sank into a chair. What had she thought? That she could have everything her way? That Dusty would be there for them always whether she married him or not? He’d move on at some point, because he’d want a family of his own. She’d been taking advantage of her oldest and best friend, and he’d called her on it. She was so ashamed of herself.

It wasn’t just her life she’d be gambling with. She had Sarah and Brendon to consider, and as Dusty had pointed out, he struggled to like her children.

Her shoulders dropped under the weight of facing the truth. Marriage was a trap. She knew that sounded about as cynical as a person could get, and that was why she didn’t say it out loud. Every day she struggled for control in her life. Tried to make the kids behave and be happy, tried to make the café a better business, tried to hold on to her sanity and make a home out of the shell of a house Dusty lived in. If she got married, another person would want a piece of her, and life would swallow her up completely. How could she possibly explain that to anyone and have that person still like her, never mind love her?

She was so lost. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe we all need more time.”

“If something happened to you, who would get the kids?”

“What?”

“Who would be responsible for Sarah and Brendon? I’ve already talked to my lawyer about having full rights to my own child, but what about them?”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“About talking to the lawyer? You’re acting like I did something wrong. He’s my child, and I want everyone to know. The usual way is to marry the mother, but short of that, I get my name on his birth certificate and we share custody fifty-fifty. I’ve named you, then Cal and Anita as guardians.”

She tried to imagine what it would feel like to have someone tell her she couldn’t see her own child when she wanted. “I’d never interfere between you and this child, Dusty.”

“But you won’t marry me, either.”

She looked away. Damn it, he didn’t have to look so betrayed. “Not right now.” Especially if he wanted to marry her only because of the baby. It wasn’t enough for her, she wanted more.

“What about Sarah and Brendon?”

“I...I don’t know. My parents are their legal guardians, but if Corey or Stan wanted custody if I died? I don’t know.”

“Seriously? After what happened with Stan? That’s not good enough, Teressa. You have to do something about taking care of Sarah and Brendon’s future.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“Let’s hope not. Call my lawyer. He’ll help set up whatever you want.”

“You’re right. I should have taken care of that when Brendon was born.” She stared at her hands. “I hate thinking like that, but I’ll call him next week. Thanks.”

He gave a curt nod. “You might want to rethink having your parents as guardians, as well. They’re getting older, and it would be tough on them, having to bring up two small children. And your mom isn’t the easiest person to be around.” He yawned. “I’m going to crash. I’ve got a lot on my plate for tomorrow.”

Teressa sat in the kitchen by herself and listened to the house settle for the night. She and Dusty would be okay. They’d had disagreements before and had made amends. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, because she loved him, just not the way he wanted her to. She wished things could go back to the way they were before she’d gotten pregnant, when being friends had been almost enough. But when had she ever gotten what she wished for?

* * *

D
USTY
KEPT
ONE
arm around Brendon’s waist to keep him from slipping off the captain’s seat. His father had held him in the very same way when he’d been Brendon’s age. Dusty’s heart lightened. Wouldn’t it be something if Brendon wanted to be a fisherman when he grew up? Not that he wished the harsh lifestyle on anyone, but it was true that the sea got in some people’s blood. It was in his and his father’s.

If he was away from the sea too long, things got out of balance for him and his world turned sour. He glanced at Pops, who stood at his shoulder in the wheelhouse, like he had when Dusty was growing up and learning how to handle the boat. Maybe someday he, too, would get the chance to pass on his knowledge of the sea. He’d never allowed himself to think along those lines because there was no heir to this throne. He grinned at the idea. But now, maybe there could be. If Brendon was still interested in ten years or so, he’d start teaching him. Or maybe his own child. It didn’t matter which kid, and that surprised him. What had surprised him was how Brendon and Sarah had expanded his world and made him look at life differently.

“You have to keep both hands on the wheel,” he instructed Brendon as they cruised out of the narrow channel. “And keep her between the red and green buoys. Otherwise you’ll run her aground.”

“Can I make it go faster?” Brendon asked.

Dusty laughed and looked over at his father. How many times had he asked Pops the same thing? “Sure can. Push this lever here.”

Brendon giggled as the boat lurched forward.

“Slow down,” Teressa shouted from the back of the boat.

The unexpectedly warm day sparkled like a rare jewel, and the whole family had decided to come. They’d set out lawn chairs to sit on in the space where Dusty usually stacked plastic bins filled with lobster. He’d scrubbed the boat as best he could to get rid of the fishy smell. Old
Out & About
sparkled in the sunshine right along with the day.

Dusty and Brendon turned to grin at Teressa. Instead of smiling back, she got a weird look on her face, one he’d never seen before. Her stomach was probably acting up.

Dusty turned back to the wheel. He’d noticed black circles under her eyes this morning when they’d rushed around to get ready to go. She’d been pretty quiet, probably because she was still ticked off about him not being his usual accommodating self last night. He’d never said no to Teressa, or any other lady, really, but that was beside the point. He’d been hurt that she hadn’t even considered marrying him and had struck back the only way he knew how. Maybe if he’d acted like an adult and got her to talk more about why other people’s opinions were so important to her they could have worked out their differences. Although he didn’t think that was the only reason she turned down his proposal. If it had been, she could easily have set a date in the future.

They needed to sit down and discuss their problems. His reaction may not have been the most mature, but he’d made her stop and think for a change instead of her usual shucking him off as an idiot. He wasn’t an idiot, but he knew she thought of him as a lightweight in the emotional category. He rolled his shoulders and widened his stance as they rode over an ocean swell. He’d always thought there was nothing wrong with keeping things light and easy, but he seemed to need more than a good laugh and a few drinks these days.

“You’ve gone quiet, son. Anything wrong?”

Dusty glanced at Pops standing beside him. “Things are good. Guess I need another cup of coffee.”

“When are we going to see a whale?” Brendon asked.

Pops winked at Dusty. “You’re the look-out,” Pops said. “You’ve got to skim your eyes over the water, like this.” He shaded his eyes with one hand and moved his head back and forth. “You’re looking for a big, big fish breaking through the water or water sprouting up. That’s the whale breathing, and boy, does he have bad breath.”

Brendon giggled. “He should brush his teeth! Mommy!”

Teressa entered the small cabin. When she stood beside Dusty, he put his arm around her shoulders. She’d only been on his boat a handful of times, which was odd now that he thought about it. Even old Beanie had been out with him more than she had.

“You feeling okay?” Her skin had a translucent look to it today that made her freckles stand out.

She smiled weakly. “A little queasy, maybe.”

Dusty slowed the boat down and rubbed her back. Why hadn’t he guessed all these years that she got seasick? More to the point, why hadn’t she told him? “Pops, we need a cup of the cure over here.”

“I assume you mean my ginger-tea cure, not the rum-and-Coke one.”

Teressa laughed and leaned against Dusty. “Ginger tea sounds delicious.”

“I’ve got a thermos full right here.” He pulled a stainless thermos out of a knapsack and poured her a mugful.

“What else do you have in that knapsack?” she teased.

Pops eyes sparkled. “I wasn’t kidding about the rum and Coke. But I also have plain old crackers. You’ll want to munch on a few of those.”

“And you need to steer the boat,” Dusty added.

“I don’t know how.”

“Brendon and I will teach you.” He shifted until Teressa stood between his arms. “Head for the red buoy, but keep it on your left. Once we’re past that, we’re out of the channel and in the open.”

Dusty lifted his hand from the steering wheel.

“Dusty! I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can, Mom. I’ll help you.” The boat wiggled as Brendon steered back and forth.

“For heaven’s sake.” Teressa gripped the wheel and brought the boat under control. “Where is that red buoy?”

“Right there.” Brendon pointed.

“Eleven o’clock,” Dusty added.

“Huh.” She glanced at Dusty. “That’s clever. Thanks, Pops,” she said as he handed over his ginger-tea cure.

Dusty watched her sip the ginger tea while keeping her eyes on the horizon. Her stomach would soon settle. “I’m going to check on the others.”

“You’re leaving me?” Teressa squeaked.

Dusty hesitated in the doorway of the cabin. It’d be nice if she needed him as much on land as she thought she did out here. “You’re doing fine. Eyes on the horizon, keep just to the left of the red buoy. I’m not going far, and you’ve got Pops right there.”