To Be a Dad (Harlequin Superromance) (19 page)

A minute later, he slumped into the lawn chair beside Cal and accepted a mug of coffee from Adam.

“Got a new captain,” Cal commented.

“Yup.” He sipped the hot brew. He’d wanted to hover over Teressa, making sure she was okay, but forced himself to go to the back of the boat. She didn’t like to be fussed over, plus, as hard as it was, he was sticking to his guns. If she didn’t want to marry him, fine. But he wasn’t going to pretend he was happy about her decision.

Didn’t mean he didn’t feel like kicking something, though. He’d been waiting forever to get her in his arms, and the only time she’d encouraged him had to be right after she turned down his marriage offer. Damned right he was taking her rejection personally. Teressa would realize soon enough he was serious about marrying her. And if she didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, he’d start thinking about moving on, because, damn it, it hurt knowing she didn’t think he was good enough to marry.

He turned his attention to Teressa’s father, who’d barely said a word since they’d cast off. “How you doing, Mr. Wilder?”

“Fine. Fine.” He bobbed his head. Hard to believe the mild-mannered man was Teressa’s father. The fire must have come completely from her mother’s side.

Sarah left Anita’s side and planted herself in front of him. “I have to pee.”

He smiled, wondering what Teressa would have to say if he let her try to pee over the side of the boat, the way most males did. He grunted and shoved to his feet. “Come on.”

“You just sat down,” Sylvie said. “Do you want me to take her?”

Sarah leaned against his leg and popped her thumb into her mouth. He put his hand on her head. “Thanks, but I’ll show her how to use the toilet. Come on, Princess.”

“I know how to use a toilet.”

“This one’s a bit different. It’s called a head, for starters.”

A minute later, Sarah wrinkled her nose, her face turning white. “It stinks down here.”

Man, if she puked he’d have to clean it up. Teressa wouldn’t last two seconds belowdecks, and cleaning up after a sick kid wasn’t something you could ask anyone else to do. “Tell you what. You pee, and I’ll flush it. Okay?”

Sarah went in and closed the door. Dusty waited a couple of minutes. “Sarah? Are you finished?”

“I don’t feel so good,” she said in a tiny voice.

“Are you done going to the bathroom?”

“Yes.”

Now what? He whipped the door open. Sarah swayed on her feet as she tried to turn on the tap. He picked her up and rushed up the three steps to the deck and over to the side of the boat. Poor little tyke. “I’ll get a wet cloth for your hands. If you feel like being sick, lean over the side of the boat.”

“Troubles?” Sylvie crouched down by Sarah.

Relieved for the help, Dusty stood. “I’ll get a wet cloth so she can wipe her hands.” He looked down at Sarah’s white, pinched face. Just because she was sick didn’t mean she had to look so sad. Why couldn’t females just say what they wanted straight out? What was it with making him feel all these emotions?

He scooped Sarah into his arms and patted her back. “Maybe you could get that cloth, Syl? And a cup of ginger tea.”

He tucked one of Sarah’s wild locks of hair behind her ear. “You’re just like your mom, Princess. You need to get your sea legs.”

She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I feel good like this.”

“Seasick on a boat?”

“No, silly. With you. It makes me feel better.”

Up until now, every time Sarah had clung to him, he’d only thought about how much he hated her hanging on to him. It hadn’t occurred to him she was doing it for a reason. Although Teressa had tried to tell him, hadn’t she? Understanding why Sarah was doing something made it easier to handle somehow.

When Sylvie appeared with the cup of tea, he set her down in a chair beside her grandfather. “Sylvie has a cup of ginger tea for you. Careful, it’s hot.”

He turned toward the pilothouse when the boat slowed down.

“There she blows,” Pops yelled, and then he laughed. “I always wanted to say that.”

Dusty looked in the direction Pops was pointing and saw a water sprout from a whale. “You see that, Brendon?” he called.

Brendon kneeled up on the seat. “What?”

Dusty rushed into the pilothouse, spared a glance for Teressa, who had regained her color, and snatched up Brendon. “It’s the whale. She’s come to say hello to you. You got her in Neutral, Pops?” Sometimes the whales dove under the boat, almost as if they were playing with it. It was best to disengage the propeller until the whales moved farther away.

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

Dusty rolled his eyes. Pops had taught him everything he knew about handling a boat, fishing and the ocean. And a good deal about life, too. He needed to sit down and talk to his father about what was going on with him and Teressa. Pops would probably have some insight to why she didn’t want to get married. The only thing he could come up with was she thought he was a lousy bet. Maybe she was right. Maybe he wasn’t good enough for her.

Years ago, she’d been anxious to leave Collina. She’d wanted to be a chef in Paris, and there’d been no question of a future between them. He’d been relatively happy until Teressa got pregnant, and they had to look at their relationship more closely. If he thought about his life, he was still content with his lifestyle. He could change in some ways, but give up living in Collina and not working on the ocean? He couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Didn’t want to. But if that was the only way he could be with his child, he’d make that sacrifice.

He took Brendon out to the side of the boat. “Watch out there and just keep your eyes moving along the surface of the water.”

Brendon wrapped one arm around Dusty’s neck, his tiny body trembling. A second later, Sarah attached herself to his leg. “I can’t see, Dusty.”

He managed to pick her up with his other arm, and a humpback whale broke the surface, and then dove back down.

“I saw’d him.” Brendon’s body shook with excitement.

“Me, too,” Sarah sang out.

Dusty felt a swell of pride as if he’d personally arranged to have the whale make an appearance. “Keep watching. Maybe she’ll breach for us today.”

“What does that mean?” Sarah asked.

“It means she’ll come right up out of the water.” As many times as he’d seen a humpback breach, it never failed to amaze him. Forty to fifty feet long, and weighing at least eighty thousand pounds, it was a miracle the huge animal could thrust itself out of the water in one mighty leap.

“You look loaded down. Want me to take Brendon?” Cal appeared by his side.

He didn’t. He loved sharing the moment with both kids. But his arms were aching from the load, and he was going to drop one if he didn’t unload.

“Look, Dusty!” Brendon shrieked. The whale breached about twenty yards off the stern. “I saw’d him! I saw’d him!”

“Me, too, buddy.” Spontaneously, he kissed Brendon’s cheek. When Brendon grinned at him, they connected in a way they hadn’t before, as if they were seeing each other clearly for the first time. Dusty saw a young boy brimming with energy and curiosity; Brendon just needed the confidence to reach out and experience what life had to offer him. Like he was doing right now.

No matter if he continued living with Teressa and the kids or not, he and Brendon would always have this moment between them, because the boy had claimed a piece of his heart.

Cal slipped his arms around Brendon and pulled him into his arms. “Come on, little man. Dusty needs a break.”

Dusty winked at Brendon and tousled his hair. He caught Teressa watching him with a puzzled look on her face as she stood in the pilothouse with Pops, sipping her tea. He’d have thought after all these years she knew everything about him there was to know and there were no surprises between them. But he spent more time on the water than on the land, and it wasn’t often she got to see him in his element. He hoped she liked what she saw, because working on the ocean was a part of him he wasn’t willing or able to change. But there were other things he needed to.

He’d been careless over the years, distracted by his own life, and he wanted it to be different between them now. He needed to treat her with greater consideration. He wanted to be a man who deserved to be loved, and he wanted to be a father to her children. All of them.

* * *

O
F
COURSE
SHE
wasn’t jealous of her own son. It was ridiculous to even consider the idea. Teressa watched as Cal took Brendon out of Dusty’s arms. The way Dusty looked at Brendon, as if he loved him, stirred up all sorts of emotions. Jealousy was not one of them. For heaven’s sake, Dusty had looked at her with affection plenty of times. But love?

She gripped the steering wheel of the boat, although they were idling in Neutral and turning the steering wheel had no effect. What she wanted to do was go outside and stand beside Dusty and be part of whatever was happening between him and her children. But she’d felt awkward around him since last night. She didn’t understand where they stood with each other at the moment; certainly in a place they’d never been before. She didn’t like the uncertainty. Dusty was...well, Dusty. She’d always relied on him being there for her on one level or another.

“Adam and I were wondering if you could recommend someone to make the wedding cake,” Pops said.

Teressa dragged her attention away from the scene outside. “I’ll make it,” she offered spontaneously.

Pops tilted his head. “I didn’t know you did wedding cakes.”

“I took a course in cake decoration a million years ago. I’d love to make Adam and Sylvie’s cake for them, if you trust me. Does the wedding have a theme?”

“A theme.” Pops laughed. “Do we need one?”

“Not really.” She grinned. “I guess a pumpkin-shaped cake wouldn’t work, eh?”

“How about a little house with seashells around it? Something like that?”

“I love the idea. Maybe I can even get an easel in there. I’ll try making a sketch of it. Mind you, it’ll look like the kids drew it. I don’t have Sylvie’s talent.”

Pops slipped his arm through hers. “You don’t need her talent. You have your own.”

“That’s sweet of you to say.” And far from the truth.

“I’m not trying to be nice, Teressa. I’m telling you something important.”

She squinted against the glare of the sun on the water and tried to read Pops’s expression. He’d always been friendly, and had even had a serious discussion with her before he agreed to sell her a share of the café that had been in his family since he’d bought it for his wife. Jane Carson had not been a content person and had lost interest in the café a couple years after Pops bought it. It came as no surprise that he wanted to make sure history was not about to repeat itself.

Honestly, if she’d had an alternative, the café would have been the last place Teressa would have considered buying into. Mostly because it was in her hometown and given the opportunity she’d leave in a heartbeat. Much like Dusty’s mother.

Huh. She hadn’t made that connection before. Dusty always seemed so certain about where he belonged—it was a joy to watch the graceful way he moved around his boat—it had never occurred to her he felt insecure about anything. Was he afraid she’d leave like his mother had? Hadn’t he said the very same thing when he put her name on the deed to the house? And more important, could she honestly tell him she wouldn’t?

Pops took her arm. “You’re a much bigger part of this community than you realize. People around here depend on you.”

She snorted. “To make them a bowl of soup or a pie.”

“That’s right.” He nodded. “When someone needs to get out of the house or take a break, they know they can always go to the café, and you’ll have something to nourish their body. And sometimes—” his eyes twinkled “—you give them a little zing to make them laugh or to stop feeling sorry for themselves. Whatever it is they need, you zero right in on it.”

She grinned. “And I thought that was called being a bitch.”

Pops’s expression turned kind. “You’ve got a big heart, Teressa. I’ve never known you to let anyone down.”

“Except my mother.” And Dusty. She glanced toward the back of the boat, where everyone was standing, watching for another whale sighting. Dusty held Sarah on his hip and Brendon had wormed his way back to Dusty and was now sitting on his wide shoulders, her son’s spindly legs dangling over Dusty’s chest. For a man who’d been a confirmed bachelor a few weeks ago, he certainly looked comfortable with her children. As they did with him. When had they started to grow into a family? What had she done?

She took a step toward them, but reined herself in. If she wasn’t going to marry Dusty, she’d have to move out of his house soon, because her children were falling in love with him and the longer they stayed, the more they’d suffer when they did leave—the more they’d all suffer when they left. The thought made her heart ache.

She studied the different colors of the ocean. The water was a light blue close up, but farther out, it turned a deep navy.

“You haven’t exactly escaped unscathed, either. Sometimes life happens,” Pops said.

“You want to know if I plan on hurting Dusty.”

Pops raised his shoulders in resignation. “Whether he’s aware of it or not, he’s always picked women he knew wouldn’t stick around. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out his mother’s decision to leave us marked him. I guess I’m wondering if he’s interested in you because he knows deep down, he can count on you to leave, too.”

Interested in, not loved
. Dusty had never said he loved her, had he? Maybe, like Pops was suggesting, Dusty knew their relationship would never amount to much, just like all his other ones. How could she blame him?

She’d never taken their relationship seriously. His friendship, sure, but there had never been any point to thinking beyond a few good laughs together. She had a family to take care of and that hadn’t fit into his happy-go-lucky world.

But now they were having a baby, and that changed everything. Now they had to take their relationship seriously, but was there anything between them other than a fondness left over from their childhood? Was Pops saying he thought Dusty was in love with her for all the wrong reasons? She worried Dusty was talking himself into loving her because he wanted them to be a family. That wasn’t enough, and they both knew it.