This Trust of Mine (10 page)

I pushed
back against his chest and out of his embrace. "What are you doin' here
Joey?"

"I just
wanted to make sure you closed up all safe and sound. Don't need anyone around
here tryin' to scare my girl."

My brow
furrowed in confusion by the sweet sentiment. Joey had a habit of callin' me
his girl since day one. We both knew it wasn't what he really meant, but other
people at school were starting to talk and now that Madison was back in town, I
was going to have to tell Joey he couldn't say it anymore.

"So,
why you lookin' so sad?"

"Madison's
back. Wait, that sounded really bad. I'm not sad that he's back, I just don't
know what exactly he's doing back. I don't know. I think I'm just
confused."

"I
would say so. Look, I've known Madison practically my entire life. He's a
really good guy and I would never want to interfere with whatever you two have
goin' on. So, if I'm stepping on his toes or anything like that, I can pull
back a bit."

"No!"
It came out more demanding than I had intended, but Joey was one of my only
friends here and I wasn't willing to lose him because of how Madison may or may
not feel about our friendship. "Sorry, I just meant, well, no. I can be
friends with whomever I want. If he has a problem with it, than he can just
deal with that on his own time."

We started
walking in the direction of my truck when Joey's cell phone started blaring the
stupid annoying rock song I have had to hear one too many times lately. I would
have to make a note to change that next time I had his phone in my possession.

I could tell
it was Brandy, the girl he had been seeing since summer and was still talking
to now that we were in school. She was nice enough, but for some reason or
another, she despised me already. For what reason, I may never know. I was
already at my truck unlocking the door, when he came bounding towards me like a
kid on Christmas morning.

"Hey
can you give me a ride over to Brandy's house? Pretty, pretty please?"

I laughed at
the vision in front of me. A six-foot, muscular guy on his knees begging little
ole me for a ride.

"Are
you ever going to get a car, Jo? Sooner or later, I'm gonna have to start
charging you, you know that right?"

"Yeah,
yeah, so is that a yes?"

"Sure,
but we have to go like now. I'm supposed to be meeting Madison as soon as I get
home."

We both
jumped into the cab and took off in the direction of Brandy's mansion. Okay,
maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but she did live in one of the biggest
houses in town. Her daddy was some big oil guy. I couldn't remember exactly
because honestly, I wasn't paying attention all that much when she had told the
story at lunch the other day.

We rode the
entire way to Brandy's house in silence. I could tell there was something on
Joey's mind, but he never made any attempt to let me in on it. I never pushed
for him to let me in, only because I wasn't quite sure I would be able to
reciprocate. Although, if I ever found myself needing to talk about what had
happened with Wren, I knew Joey would be one of few that would never judge me
or look at me differently. I smiled feeling content with my newfound friendship
with Jo. He genuinely seemed interested in just being my friend and he never
pushed me to share anything I never wanted to. It was nice for once, to not
have to explain every emotion my face portrayed. As I pulled up and around the
circular drive, I put the truck in park and looked over at Joey to say my
good-byes, but there was something wrong.

"Joey,
what's going on with you? You look like someone just ran over your dog." I
pushed his shoulder gently.

"I'm
okay. Promise. You know you can always call me right? I mean for absolutely
anything?"

"I
know." I wasn't sure where he was going with this whole thing, but he was
definitely acting weird. "Joey, what's up?"

"Nothing,
love. Just wanted you to know that, that's all." He leaned over and
pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek before jumping down out of the truck.
"See ya in the mornin?"

"Bright
and early." I smiled.

I glanced in
the rear view mirror as Joey stood in the exact spot I had just left. What was
going on with that guy?

Brandy's
house was a good twenty to twenty five minute drive to mine, so I plugged in my
iPod, picked my favorite song at the moment and turned it up as loud as my
speakers would allow.

As the
lyrics of Radioactive by Imagine Dragons seeped through my speakers, I found
myself slowly relaxing and letting the music consume me. As I mouthed each and
every word, I found myself floating back to thoughts of why Madison was home. I
wasn't sure what his reasons were, but I was hoping it wasn't to lift my hopes
up, just to have them crushed back down.

I drove slow
through town, taking in all the beautiful scenery that I was always too busy to
notice on a regular basis. The foliage was slowly turning, even though we
weren't into fall yet, Mother Nature had a different idea. The simplicity of it
all made me feel at home and at peace for the first time since I could
remember.

A little
while later, I was pulling up the drive that led to my house when I noticed a
shadowed figure sitting on the steps of my front porch. I knew the minute I
caught a glimpse of the hair that it was Madison and just like that, all worry
and cares flew out the half open window. Life just seemed right with him here.
I know how clichéd it sounded, but he literally completed me in a way that I
never thought possible. This was who I wanted for forever. Despite our young
age and distance, my heart would always be his.

I put the
truck in park and jumped out, leaping into Madison's strong tender arms.

"I
missed ya cowboy." My lips pressed against his and began moving slowly. I
wanted to savor this moment. It had been far too long since I had been able to
enjoy this part of him.

"I
guess you did, huh? I missed you too pretty girl, more than you know."

We kissed
for a few more minutes before he set me back down on my feet.

"Let's
go to our spot."

His hand
slid down to mine as he interlaced our fingers, just before pulling me along
beside him. I wasn't sure how well this was going to go, but I wasn't quite
ready to tell him what had happened out there, so I was going to have to put on
my big girl panties and follow his lead.

As we
started making our way up the small hill, my heart rate sped up and my
breathing suddenly became more labored than necessary. I hadn't been back out
here except for the one time after I had spoken with Madison. I thought I could
do it, knowing this was our place, but ever fiber of my being was yelling at me
to run in the opposite direction.

Madison
must've noticed my hesitation because he slowed down a bit and wrapped his arm
around my shoulders.

"You
doin' okay?"

I nodded,
because I wasn't able to form words at the moment. There was so much I needed
to tell him. Things he needed to know and would hopefully understand. Finally
we made it to the small patch of grass beneath our tree and I found myself
being able to breathe a little bit easier. As long as we stayed in this exact
spot, I would be okay.

"Sit
with me." Madison wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me down and
onto his lap. I smiled back at him before staring up at the night sky.

We sat this
way in silence for quite sometime before I finally found the courage to ask the
question, I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to.

"Madison,
what are you doing home?" I turned in his lap so I was now straddling him
face to face.

"I'm
back for good."

"You're
what?" I practically jumped up out of his lap, but kept my cool wanting him
to further explain.

"I
transferred schools." He cradled my face in his hands, holding my gaze.
"My world is incomplete without you, Kayla. I can't be without you. I
don't even know why I tried. I had to be with you, here in Texas."

I could feel
the tears pricking the back of my eyelids, but I willed them to not fall.

"Darlin',
are you not happy about this?" Concern was written all over his face.

"Of
course I am." I just knew having him here everyday, I was going to be
forced to tell him about that night. It's not that I didn't want him to know,
or that I didn't trust him to know. I was afraid of the way he would look at
me, and wondered if he would even want me anymore.

"There's
more. I think we both need to be completely honest with one another. I want us
to start fresh, to put these past few months behind us and move forward with
each other."

Now my mind
was really reeling. I had always thought that we were completely honest with
each other, but apparently not.

"What
is there that you need to tell me?" My voice was shaky and rushed. I
almost knew what he was about to say, but it didn't make the blow any easier to
take.

"I need
you to know that it meant nothing. She meant nothing. It's just, well, I hadn't
heard from you. You weren't returning my phone calls or texts. I took some
sleeping pills one night, but couldn't sleep so some of the guys on the team
invited me out to a party. I was drinking, and, god I know how this must sound
to you Kayla, but I promise you it meant nothing. It was just that one night.
And god, she looked exactly like you."

I slowly
pushed myself up from his lap as the tears finally began to fall. I pressed my
hands to my face and the wave of sobs crashed into me. He had cheated on me.
The one thing I told him I would never deal with and he had done it. And with a
girl who looks just like me, how is that supposed to help.

"Say
something, pretty-"

"Don't!
Don't even call me that. I don't know what you expect me to say. You cheated on
me Madison."

"Well
we technically said we weren't together when I left."

I quickly
turned in his direction, pointing my finger into his chest. "Seriously?
You are going to pin this on a technicality? So while I was here dealing with
unimaginable things, things that no girl should ever have to deal with, you
were out partying it up and sleeping around? What the fuck, Madison?"

He reached
for me but I pulled away, making it perfectly clear that I did not want him to
touch me.

"What
do you mean, unimaginable things?"

"Nothing,
Madison. Just never mind. I gotta go."

I started
walkin' towards my house when he caught my elbow. "You can't just walk
away. We need to talk about this. I was honest with you, now it's time for you
to be honest with me. Why have you been ignoring me since the day I left?"

I wiped my
tears from my cheeks and looked him directly in the eyes. "Well while you
were out having sex with some girl you didn't even know, I was here dealing
with the fact that I had been raped just mere minutes after you took off for
Arizona."

"Wh...what
are you talking about?"

"The
night you left, Wren showed up." I wrapped my arms tightly around my
chest. Feeling vulnerable wasn't the easiest thing to deal with these days.
"It is what it is Madison. But there, now you know. Happy now?" I
glanced up at his face just as the tears began trickling down his cheeks. I had
never seen Madison cry, and seeing him cry now, had me feeling things I hadn't
been prepared to feel. I was fuming mad, and I wanted to hate him, but seeing
him being torn apart by my words was killing me.

"Madison,
say something."

"This
is all my fault. If I wouldn't have left, you would be okay. We would be
okay."

"You
don't know that. He would've found another time. That's how he works."

"Oh my
god, Kayla. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I left and I'm
sorry I wasn't here to protect you. Hell, I'm sorry I couldn't have been a
better man for you."

I grabbed
his arms and pulled him into me. I wrapped my arms as tight as I could around
his neck and peppered his cheek with featherlike kisses over and over again.
"This was not your fault, just like it wasn't mine. Please just listen to
me. You are an amazing man. Granted, I do hate you at the moment, but you are
still the only man I want. I just don't want this to change things with us. I couldn't
stand it if you looked at me differently, now that you know."

"How
could you ever think that? I lo- I will always feel the way I feel for you
right now, in this moment. Nothing will ever change that, nothing."

His finger
dipped below my chin pulling my lips up to meet his. His kiss started off soft
and increased with intensity, as he deepened our kiss. I found myself
overwhelmed with joy for the fact that he still cared for me despite my flawed
history. But I was holding myself back, because as much as I needed that
reassurance from him, I now needed to find a way to forgive him.

Madison

I instantly
felt like a failure. A failure in life, a failure to the one girl I so wanted
to protect and a failure to myself. All I could think of when Kayla was baring
her soul, was myself. I knew how selfish that sounded, but it literally broke
me in two knowing that no matter what I did, I would never be able to protect
her like she deserved.