This Trust of Mine (6 page)

"That's
where you're wrong, Kay. Guys lie all the time to protect their
"boys" and they always will."

"You
don't know that Cami."

"Maybe
not, but what I do know, is what I saw in there. Now you either start talking
to me, or I will go tell your grandparents."

I shot up
into a sitting position facing Cami as she sat next to me. "Cami, you
can't. I may have told my Grams, but I couldn't tell her everything. You have
to understand."

"No
Kayla, I can't understand because you won't even tell me the truth."

"I did
tell you the truth."

"I mean
the
whole
truth, not just some
semblance of the truth. Now start talking."

I sat my
back against the trunk of that tree and let my head fall into my hands. I
honestly didn't know where to begin. I was sick of reliving what had happened
that night. Every time I closed my eyes, he was there, haunting my dreams and
invading every thought.

"Kay?"

"I
don't know where to start." I could feel the tears welling up behind my
already hooded eyes. The salty concoction of tears started to burn and prick at
the back of my eyelids, as the first tear broke free and slowly slid down my
cheek. "He was there. The whole time I was sayin' my goodbyes to Madison,
he was there, lurking in the shadows, just waitin' for the right chance to get
me alone. I tried to run away from him, I really did. But how far could I
really get with a hurt leg." I wiped my tear soaked cheeks with the bottom
of my top. "He grabbed me and pulled me back up here. Actually over
there." I pointed in the direction of the spot just behind the shed where
Madison and I had sex for the first time. Cami's hand reached out and grabbed
mine. She clutched it tight to her chest as I continued recounting the events
of that night.

"Keep
going." She whispered.

"He
pinned my hands above my head as he undressed me excruciatingly slow. I
should've known better than to fight him, but I knew what was gonna happen and
my heart just couldn't bare it any longer. I bucked my hips to get him off me.
I squirmed underneath him and even tried kneeing him a few times. It only made
him want to do it more. I had no choice but to give into him. I lay completely
still below him tryin' to think of nothin' but Madison. I kept tryin' to
picture his face while he had made love to me. I tried to imagine his face when
he would come home to visit. But then I saw his face when I told him what had
happened. That was the moment I decided that no matter what was gonna happen, I
could never tell him." I slid my fingers under my eyes, capturing the wet
mascara and tears and wiping them on my shorts. Retelling this story was
proving to be a hell of a lot worse than I thought it was gonna be.

"Kay,
I'm hear for you. Please just let me in. Finish the story."

Cami's
reassuring tone is what pushed me forward with the rest of the story. "He
slapped me around a little bit for laying still, of course. And when I refused
to fight him, he figured out a way to make me. He drove his knee and fist into
my ribs each time I quit moving.

With a small
squeeze of my hand from Cami, I continued. "Apparently that still wasn't
enough for him. He started doing, his thing, and as I stilled below him, he
kept up the fun little game he wanted to play." I tugged at the hem of my
shirt as I took another drag. "That's it."

I looked
into Cami's glossed over eyes and sucked in a deep labored breath. "I'm so
sorry Kayla. I wish I would've been there to help you. I wish that would have
never happened to you. God, I wish so many things. Thank you for telling
me."

She pulled
me into a deep hug. Her grip never loosening and her tears continuing to fall.
I felt bad for her, having to hear all that couldn't have been easy. But, I
also felt bad for myself. No girl should ever have to endure what I had, ever.

"I love
you Kayla. I promise no matter what happens in our lives, I will always be
there for you. Always."

"Me
too, Cam. Me too." I squeezed her tightly then released her from my hold.

I finished
my cigarette and put it out on the grass next to me. I stood and walked a few
feet over to the small shed. I ran my fingers down and across the splintered
wood, trying to remember only the good things that had happened here. I could
see Madison pushing me up against it, as his mouth devoured mine. My hands
clutching to the broken wood as he worked his way down my neck. I could see it
almost as clear as day, but then that memory slowly bled into the one now
haunting my every waking thought. I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the
pain. I quickly turned towards Cami who still sat, just staring at me. I gave a
small smile as I made my way back over to where she was.

I was
determined to let it all go. Determined to make a place for myself here. A
place that I felt safe and comfortable. One that I would never let myself
regret.

Madison

The rising
sun crept up and through the blinds, blinding me instantaneously. I wasn't sure
of the time, but lately I never was. It had been almost two weeks since the
last time I had spoken to Kayla. Trust me, it wasn't for a lack of effort. Part
of me couldn't blame her, given the fact that Korena had made the situation
sound pretty bad, but I was getting to the point of desperation. Everything
inside of me wanted nothing more than to go home, be with the girl I loved, and
make a life for myself there.

Up until
now, Arizona had sounded like the right thing to do, but now I found myself
questioning everything I thought I knew I wanted. I rolled over to block out
the sun, just as my alarm began blaring into my ear. Ugh, the first day of
school sucked no matter how old you were.

I jumped out
of bed, debating whether or not to take a shower. I chanced a glance in the
mirror on the far wall and found myself almost unrecognizable. Between
practice, scrimmages, lack of sleep and lack of Kayla, I was really starting to
look the way I felt. I shrugged my shoulders, threw on my ball cap and gathered
up my book bag. I'd take a shower after practice if I felt up to it.

As I made my
way out of the dorm and in the direction of my truck, I was caught off guard by
a familiar voice calling out my name. I looked in all directions before
finishing the walk. When I was just about to open the door and jump into the
truck, I heard the voice again, only it was closer this time. I swung my head
around and instantly made eye contact with the person belonging to the voice.

"Glenn?"
The sun was shining directly into my eyes, blurring my vision. I raised my hand
up to shield my eyes from its rays when I finally got a better look at him.

"Hey
bro, how's it going?"

Sure as
shit, it was Glenn and he was carrying a backpack and almost looked as though
he belonged on campus. "Oh my god, dude. What are you doin' here?"

"I go
here now." We gave each other a quick hug and then I found myself standin'
back in shock.

"What
do you mean, you go here?"

"I
didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure, but they offered me a
scholarship and today is my first day. I was actually headed to find my dorm
first and meet my roommate before class."

"No
fuckin' way. That's awesome. I had no idea you were even looking here."

"Well
let's just say that a little blonde birdie convinced me that it would be a good
idea." He winked at me with a shit eatin' grin before he threw his arm
around my shoulder and started steering me back towards the building.

"As
much as I would love to catch up and shit, I gotta get to class. If I'm late, I
will be in deep shit with Coach later."

"Dude,
it'll only take a few minutes. Just help me find my dorm room."

"Alright,
but only a few minutes. What building are you in?"

"Hayden
Hall, room 4F."

"Are
you fuckin' with me right now?"

"No,
man. Why do you say that?"

I rolled my
eyes in Glenn's general direction. "Because that's my room."

"Ahhhhhh,
sweet ass. No way, dude. This is gonna be awesome. You and me livin' together,
partyin' together. This is gonna be the best first ear of college, EVER!"

"Whatever
you say man. Alright, I gotta jet to class. I guess I'll see ya back in our
room later."

"Sounds
good roomie." He shouted, as I was already running back to my truck.

I made it to
my first class with literally one minute to spare. I let out a loud sigh as I
entered the room, searching for an empty seat. There were only a few to choose
from and I practically hauled ass up the steps to grab the one at the top of
the steps. There was a small group of guys huddled in a small circle, so I
could only assume this was the safest place for me to sit.

I pulled my
laptop from my bag and quickly booted it up as we all waited for the professor
to enter the room. I took the chance to glance around the room, to see if maybe
some of my teammates were in the same class as me. No such luck. I guess it
didn't help that I was in an advanced economics class. I'm not trying to imply
that my teammates weren't smart, but I was pretty sure they only took what they
had to, to get by. As my eyes made their way across the back row, I caught the
attention of the one person I was hoping I could avoid for the rest of my life.
Of course Korena was in my class. That's just how my luck goes.

I gave a
small wave and an even smaller smile, not wanting to lead her on in any way,
shape or form, but I also didn't want to be a complete douche. She smiled back
and with that, I kept my full attention on my computer screen for the rest of
class. As soon as class was dismissed, I practically ran out of that classroom
as fast as my feet would carry me. It was starting to seem like Korena was
wanting to be wherever I was. And let's face it, that was just trouble waiting
to happen, again.

I slipped my
phone out of my front pocket, along with a smoke and headed in the direction of
the smoking area on campus. I wasn't at all surprised when I had no missed
calls or texts. I swear this girl was going to be the death of me. I wasn't
sure what had happened between then and now, but something was definitely off
and I wasn't going to rest easy until I figured out what it was.

The rest of
the day went by at a snail's pace and I hadn't heard a word any of my
professors had even said. I hadn't run into Glenn since this morning, but I
knew I would get a full update later today. After I dressed for practice, I
quickly dialed Kayla's number hoping she would answer this time. After the
third ring, I was just about to hang up when I heard her voice break through
the line.

"Hello?"

"Hey
pretty girl, how are you?" A million emotions ran through me as I sat
there listening to her every breath.

"I'm
okay. How are you? How was your first day of classes?" I could tell she
seemed off, but I didn't push her for answers. I had finally gotten her to
answer the phone. I didn't need her hanging up on me already.

"Classes
were okay. Glenn is here. We're actually roommates, how weird is that?"

"Oh
good, I'm glad he made it there safe. He actually took Cami home. So roommates
huh? That'll be nice, huh?"

"No,
yeah it's cool. It'll be nice to have my best friend around all the time. Did
you start school today?" Our conversation was about as mundane as they
come. It felt awkward and different. It was as though we barely knew one
another and spent our time with nothing but pleasantries.

"Tomorrow."

I waited for
her to continue, but apparently that was all I was gonna get from her.
"That's cool. Kayla, can I ask you a question?"

"Of
course cowboy, you can ask me anything." And for a brief second, the girl
I knew in Texas was back.

"Are we
okay?" I sat there waiting with baited breath. Waiting for what, I wasn't
sure but waiting all the same.

"Madison,
things are just
different
. I don't
know how else to explain it. Of course I miss you, and I want nothing more than
to see you. To have you hold me, love me, and spend every waking minute with
you, but-"

"But,
what? I thought we talked about this before I left. We both agreed that we
wanted to be together. We both promised each other that we would find our way
back to one another. We-"

"Madison,
I know what
we
talked about, trust me
I couldn't forget it even if I tried. But...but...you left Madison.
You
chose to leave knowing I couldn't go
with you. Don't you think that speaks volumes? I'm not saying you should have
stayed here just for me. I know better than anyone that we hadn't been together
that long, but I guess part of me thought we were headed some place great. I
guess I just expected more than you were obviously willing to give."

"How
can you even say that? I tried to find a way for us to be together. Hell, I was
the
only
one trying to make it work.
You practically pushed me out the door. I would've given it all up for you,
everything."