Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls (13 page)

BOOK: Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls
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There is nothing wrong with your body if you've got some dimples. Or a million dimples. Or if your dimples have dimples.

Why don't men have as much cellulite? Well, (1) their skin is thicker so it shows less, and (2) they store more fat around their organs instead of between the skin and muscle like we do.

Structural. Mechanics. Period.

My point? There is nothing wrong with your body if you've got some dimples. Or a million dimples. Or if your dimples have dimples. There's no “cure,” and no need for one. It's not a measuring device for your self-worth. And you're not the only one who has it, no matter what those glossy spreads say.

Diversity of races and shades.
The “white ideal,” much like the thin ideal, is created to exclude certain racial identities, to encourage self-hate and then create a market selling the antidote to that created self-hate. The white ideal and the perpetuation of the white ideal purposefully excludes women of color from our (very limited) definition of beauty. Much like the way bodies are “thinned out” in images, skin tones are lightened to systemically absorb bodies into the concept that “lighter is better.”

The act itself is called “whitewashing,” and it is just one more way
havoc is wreaked upon bodies by underrepresentation and exclusion of those outside of the carefully crafted “norm.”

Pia Schiavo-Campo of the blog
Chronicles of a Mixed Fat Chick
lectures about this very concept:

Whitewashing strips away all the beauty and nuanced differences that make up our diverse world. When light-skinned ethnic models with Caucasian features are used in advertisements that are meant to be “inclusive,” we are telling women that it's ok to be different, just not too different—not too far from white. It leaves little room for seeing ourselves represented in the media. This kind of propaganda is one of the many ways in which racism is perpetuated in subtle ways.
6

We see so much diversity erasure arising from this elimination of skin shades here in the U.S., and it is so significant that it transfers across the globe. There is a dangerous (like, kidney-failure dangerous) trend in Nigeria, where 80 percent of women regularly use skin lighteners. But, as one woman shared online, “I'm not seeking to be totally white, I just want to be beautiful.”

Fuck.

We as a culture are just now starting to place a small emphasis on “diversity,” and are occasionally including women of color in the media. But if you look closely, these popularized faces are often those who have lighter skin, straight or wavy hair, and facial features that are considered more or less “Caucasian.” This is far from inclusive and far from diverse. Yet companies with unlimited resources pat themselves on the back, saying, “LOOK HOW PROGRESSIVE WE ARE!”

Nope.

This is exactly what Sonya Renee Taylor talks about in her article, “Weighting to Be Seen” (that we read at the end of
Chapter 3
): Not being
invited to the “table,” where white women have always been allowed (as long as they fit into the chair).

Now, with the pushing of boundaries, I'd say that progress has been made so that some white women who DON'T fit into the chair are invited to bring their own. It's FUCKED to have to bring your own chair, but you know what's worse? Being invited to bring your own chair but ONLY if you alter your appearance so that when you arrive you no longer look like yourself.

That's not really an invitation, my friends.

That seat doesn't count for shit.

When we refuse to allow all races to have equal visibility, we are not just sending a message to individuals that they are “not worthy of taking up space” but we are also contributing to larger systemic issues like racial discrimination, hatred, and violence. Yes, it is
that
big of a deal.

I'd love to see a wide range of races, shades, and colors in images
all over
the web. This representation will not only be beautiful, but immensely powerful and necessary if we are going to embrace and respect the variety of bodies that we have in real life.

Post-birth bodies.
Another idea we see glorified in the media is the ridiculous assumption that any woman worth her salt should have a body that “bounces back” after childbirth. I've never had a child, but I've watched my friends and others struggle with adjusting to post-birth bodies and the lasting changes that come with childbearing. The stripes. The loss of elasticity. The pouch or “mothers apron” as I learned it is sometimes called. The deflation of the boobs. The scars. All of these things affected my friends' self-esteem in some way—it was agonizing for me just to watch how they struggled, so I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for them to experience. I once asked my followers on Facebook this question
:
“Mothers: What was the hardest part of your body to love after having a child?” In less than an hour, there were over six hundred comments listing everything mentioned above. The struggle to love a changing body is so pertinent, and no one is alone in this.

THE

FAT

PEOPLE:

do all the things!

CHALLENGE

 

#5: MAKE YOUR BODY YOUR ART.

       
Making art based on your body can be an amazingly transformative experience. For me, painting pictures of my body stops me enough to . . . look. To see the details of my body. I can't judge it when I'm up close and concentrating on brushstrokes. Working the paint to recreate my folds. Taking the time to shade my belly button. To see how the shadows fall and rise with the rolling stomach I own. It really puts a new perspective on something I see every day. When I stood back to view my first painting of my torso, I thought, “That's kind of a great painting!” And THEN I thought, “Ohmygod, that's my body. And I liked it before I realized it . . . so I must like my body after all!”

Your challenge:
Create art featuring YOU! Use any medium you like: paint, computer, collage, photography, sculpture . . . anything. Make something frame-worthy—after all, your body already is.

Because this is a significant issue, I consulted a professional—by “professional,” I mean a good friend who also lives here in Tucson, who's kind of a big deal in the Mom World. Jade, of Jade Beall Photography, has made an international name for herself by specializing in what she calls “medicinal photography for mothers.” Essentially, she's all about creating un-photoshopped and intimate images of women and their bodies (and children) after giving birth. She has assisted in creating a subculture where all of these stripes, scars, and pouches are viewed as beautiful. It's kind of magical.

In contrast, there are altered images of new moms all over our tabloid magazines with praises sung to those who show no signs of
creating life. We talk about their “stunning post-baby body evolution,” and we compliment those who look like they never had another human inside them. I'll never forget seeing a magazine cover that showed Kate Middleton tossing a basketball, with accompanying commentary about how sexy her flawless post-pregnancy body was. She was also missing a belly button. Total photoshop fail. Way to make even more women insecure about their own bodies, guys.

Another idea we see glorified in the media is the ridiculous assumption that any woman worth her salt should have a body that “bounces back” after childbirth.

Don't misunderstand: There will definitely be those with bodies that are predispositioned to return to their former shape sans stretch marks and other changes, and this is totally okay and wonderful! But those are few and far between. Jade is all about helping
all
mamas fall in love with their “new bodies,” just the way they are.

Over coffee, Jade pointed out that most of the “bounce-back” bodies we see online
have
been altered. “Maria Kang,” she said, “the ‘Fit Mom,' is a perfect example. She
has
stretch marks, but in the beginning they weren't visible in her images.” (Note: I didn't believe Jade, so I researched it, and sure as shit . . . ) But when Maria started getting push back, she started posting photos
with
the stretch marks—with her real skin. Proof that even these “celebrated bodies” have marks and all of the things we don't like about ourselves. “When we look at mothers' bodies in the media, we're not looking at them,” Jade said, “we're looking at an unrealistic rendition of them.”

Her advice for moms struggling to accept their post-birth bodies fell right in line with the premise of this chapter: Start by taking lots of selfies. Look at them and try to find the beauty, even if you need to “fake it until you make it.” Find images of bodies online that look like yours. “Social media is such a rad tool,” Jade told me. “We get to follow people who empower us. There is something powerful about being seen. So find a community that can see YOU for the beautiful person that you are!”

Wrinkles.
We have literally tried to erase wrinkles from our world through softening, digital cloning tools, and beauty products alike.

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