They Don't Teach Corporate in College (32 page)

Persuade her admin to give you a 10-minute slot on her calendar. (Make sure not to stay a minute longer.)

Catch her for a quick conversation in the hallway or elevator.

Invite her to have lunch in the cafeteria. (Everyone has to eat!)

Once you manage to get in front of the person, say what you have to say and get out of there. If necessary, prepare a list ahead of time of the things you want to cover so that you can whiz right through them. If the person learns that a meeting with you doesn't mean she will be held up all day, she will be more likely to respond to your meeting request next time.

One last point about speaking: if you have the opportunity to enhance your knowledge of another language, or even to start learning one from scratch, I highly recommend pursuing it. As English decreases in prominence and the economy becomes even more global, knowing additional languages will prove invaluable. Most community colleges, embassies, and consulates offer evening and weekend classes, or you could learn from the comfort of your couch with a self-directed program such as Rosetta Stone (
RosettaStone.co.uk)
or Pimsleur (
Pimsleur.com
).

You may have taken one look at this subhead and said, “What am I, 5 years old? I thought I learned to listen in kindergarten!” If you think about it,
though, this isn't exactly the case. You learned to hear people when they talk, but you didn't necessarily get into the habit of actively listening to them. In our jobs, our relationships suffer, we miss out on a lot of information, and, ultimately, we make our jobs harder because we don't pay attention to what people are saying.

It's in your best interests to avoid unnecessary communication breakdowns caused by a failure to listen. Author Hendrie Weisinger recommends that you begin by making yourself aware of ways you might unconsciously filter out what others are saying. Filters are generated by thoughts, ideas, and feelings. They influence the type of and how much information we hear. There are four kinds of filters:

1. The predilection filter:
Hearing what you want to hear instead of what is meant.

2. The who filter:
Placing importance based on the person doing the talking.

3. The facts filter:
Being oblivious to the emotional subtext of the conversation.

4. The distracting thoughts filter:
Allowing your mind to wander.

Once you've identified what types of filters you use and under what circumstances you use them, employ these suggestions for practicing “filter prevention,” and also for becoming an active and involved listener:

Don't interrupt.

Don't tune out because you think you know what's coming.

Read between the lines, and assess what is meant vs. what is said.

Acknowledge that you are paying attention by sustaining eye contact, nodding, or saying “uh huh.”

Verbally summarize what the speaker has said, paraphrasing rather than repeating it verbatim.

Empathize with how the speaker is feeling.

Ask specific, clarifying questions.

Take notes to keep yourself focused and to help you remember what's being communicated.

Don't type on your smartphone while someone is talking to you.