The Way We Were (4 page)

Alice was lost in a book when the doorbell rang. Jools ran to open it and Alice heard her squeal, then a louder male squeal. She knew her brother’s voice immediately.

‘Happy birthday, Jools. I know it’s a little early, but I just got in from New York and I was dying for you to see your present.’ Kevin came into the kitchen carrying a large box tied with a huge red bow.

‘Uncle Kevin!’ Holly jumped off her stool and ran to hug him.

Kevin swung her into the air. ‘How’s my little Einstein? Are you still dazzling everyone with your brains?’

Holly blushed. ‘Kind of.’

‘Well, you inherited them from me,’ he said, and Alice almost snapped the book closed on her finger.

‘
I don’t believe it!
’ Jools screeched. ‘You’re the best ever! I love you.’ She pushed Alice and Holly aside to reach Kevin.

‘I am pretty awesome,’ Kevin agreed, with a grin.

‘What did you get?’ Alice asked.

‘Only the silver jeans from the new Kardashian collection and a pink Hollister hoodie!’ Jools hugged the clothes to her chest.

‘The hoodie is also new season,’ Kevin added. ‘Neither pieces will be in the shops here until January.’

Jools ripped off her school uniform and put on her new clothes.

‘Wow, the jeans are very … shiny,’ Alice said, trying to be diplomatic. Jools looked like she was applying for a job as an astronaut.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. ‘They’re of the moment and she looks fabulous.’

‘OMG, I can’t wait for my friends to see them! I’m going to wear them at the party on Saturday. I have to send Chloë a selfie – she’s going to die of jealousy!’ Jools rushed off to get her phone.

Kevin turned to Holly. ‘And this is a little something for you.’ He handed her a small blue box. She opened it to find a silver Tiffany bracelet with a silver heart that said
smart girls rock
. ‘I got it engraved especially for you.’

Holly hugged Kevin. ‘Wow! It’s not even my birthday. Thank you! I love it.’

Holly went off to show Jools her present and Kevin sat up at the counter. ‘Any chance of a glass of wine?’

‘Absolutely.’ Alice grabbed a bottle from the fridge, then handed it to her brother with the corkscrew. Kevin poured them both a large glass.

Alice clinked hers with her brother’s. ‘It’s good to have you back. I missed you at work.’

Kevin smirked. ‘I take it Karolina wasn’t as good with the patients as I am?’

‘She’s a little too dour.’

‘It’s good to go away sometimes so your boss appreciates you more,’ he teased, waving his glass at her.

‘I do appreciate you. You’re the best-paid medical secretary in London.’

‘Not quite, but you’re a good employer, although you can be a little bossy at times.’

‘That’s the older sister in me.’

‘You can’t help yourself.’

‘So New York was good?’

Kevin sighed happily. ‘Wild and wonderful and far too short. I need a holiday after it. God, the clubs there are just incredible, and the men are
so
hot.’

‘Did you meet anyone?’

‘I sure did.’ Kevin chuckled into his wine. ‘Lots of people.’

Alice raised her hand. ‘Let’s stop there, I don’t need any more details. Thanks for bringing the presents for the girls – you spoil them.’

‘I could see by your face that the jeans were a big hit.’

‘Well, they’re very in-your-face. Ben’s going to have a seizure when he sees them.’

Kevin rolled his eyes. ‘Ben’s a fashion bore. He thinks wearing a red jumper is cutting-edge.’

Alice laughed. Ben was a very conservative dresser but he always looked smart. Mind you, with his lovely tanned skin, he looked good in anything. Alice thought he looked even more handsome with his hair going grey. He had aged very well, better than she had. His wrinkles marked him out as distinguished. Hers made her look tired.

Alice was careful about what she ate, and she ran when she could – usually early mornings before the girls woke up or at weekends when Ben was home. She had kept her figure and her hair was thick and long, but her face had aged faster than she’d have liked. She hadn’t ruled out Botox, but she knew Ben would go mad if she did it. He was dead set against it and he constantly told her she was gorgeous. He was good like that – he complimented her a lot.

Kevin leant back in the kitchen chair. ‘So, how’s Ben? Is he still having his Lycra-wearing, holy-shit-I’m-forty-five crisis?’

‘Ssh.’ Alice walked over and closed the kitchen door. ‘Yes, he is. But in the last week he’s been in better form, less restless.’

‘He should be thanking his lucky stars for what he has – a gorgeous wife who earns lots of money, two beautiful daughters and a mews house in Kensington. It doesn’t get much better than that. Take it from a single man living in a shoebox in Soho.’

‘Don’t you think you’re a bit old for Soho?’

‘Hello? I’m thirty-seven, not ninety. Besides, I like Soho – it’s where all the hot young men are.’

‘Maybe I should move there!’

‘Don’t tell me you’re having a mid-life wobble too?’

Alice shook her head. ‘Not yet. Women usually have them in their fifties, around the menopause.’

‘Well, that’s something to look forward to. When you turn fifty Ben should get a job in Glasgow and I can move in with you, a sad, lonely gay man who gardens all day.’

‘Have you met anyone nice recently?’ Alice asked, as she took dinner ingredients out of the fridge. She really hoped Kevin would meet a lovely guy and settle down. Although he had a very active social life, she knew he wanted to find someone special. He’d been partying hard since he moved to London fifteen years ago.

Alice had always worried about her little brother. She had always known he was gay, but her parents hadn’t had a clue. When Kevin had finally come out, aged twenty, their parents had decided it was only a phase and kept praying that Kevin would meet a nice girl who might change his mind. Alice’s mother had lit hundreds of candles and said novenas for her son, but instead of meeting a nice girl, Kevin had moved to London and met lots of men.

They’d grown up in a small town twenty miles outside Dublin and Kevin was, literally, the only gay in the village. Well, the only one who admitted it. According to Kevin’s
gaydar, Mr O’Reilly, the butcher, was gay but didn’t know it, as was Johnny Kane, who owned the hardware store.

It had been difficult for him, and Alice had always felt protective of him. When she’d moved to London to study medicine, Kevin was only twelve. Alice knew secondary school was going to be hard for him and it had been. Confused about his sexuality and wanting to conform to the ‘norms’ of small-town Ireland, Kevin had tried to go out with girls but always ended up as their best friend.

Alice was the only person he had opened up to and she had supported him as much as she could, in between studying and doing insane hours during her internship.

When Kevin moved to London and was free to be the man he wanted to be, they had seen lots of each other – Kevin had lived with Alice and Ben for the first three months while he got settled. When their parents had been killed in a car crash fourteen years ago, they had become even closer. They clung to each other – the only family they had left.

Jools and Holly loved Kevin because he was the indulgent uncle who gave them all the things that Alice would never buy. Jools also seemed to think it was cool to have a gay uncle. He was wonderful with the girls and they adored him.

Ben liked Kevin, but hated him camping it up. Kevin knew this and always went over the top just to wind him up. Alice wished he wouldn’t. She wanted her husband and brother to be closer.

She threw some vegetables and chicken into the pan.

‘Smells good,’ Kevin said.

‘Would you like to stay for dinner? The girls would love it and, to be honest, I could do with Jools being diluted. We’re clashing all the time.’

‘Just like you and Mum.’

‘I didn’t fight with her all the time.’

Kevin whooped. ‘You were always at each other’s throats. You only got on when you moved out.’

Alice tried to think back. Had she fought as much with her mother as Jools did with her? If she was honest, she had to admit that they’d clashed a lot. When Alice had moved to London at nineteen to study medicine, her relationship with her mother had got a whole lot better. With a bit of distance between them, they had become more like friends than mother and daughter.

Alice had been devastated when her parents died. It was such a shock. To become an orphan overnight at the age of thirty seemed as ridiculous as it was sad. Ben had been a rock, and Alice knew she wouldn’t have got through those dark days without him.

Sometimes Alice wondered if her grief had affected Jools. Her little girl had been nearly two when the car crash had happened and Alice had been grief-stricken and very low for months afterwards. She worried that Jools had picked up on her sorrow. Days would go by when Alice hadn’t got dressed or even washed. She hadn’t left the house for weeks and cried all the time.

Kevin had reacted to the tragedy by going wild. He had partied hard, drunk too much and taken lots of drugs to try to obliterate the pain. Thankfully, they’d both come out the other side – Alice because of Ben, and Kevin because he did masses of therapy.

‘What do you think I should do to help me stop fighting with Jools? What did Mum do that worked?’ Alice asked her brother now.

He shrugged. ‘I dunno. All I remember is a lot of slamming doors and you being grounded all the time. Mum was
very strict with you, and you are equally, if not more so, tough on Jools.’

Alice sighed. ‘It’s because she struggles in school. I worry about her future. I was hoping she was dyslexic because then she could have got help and some exemptions from her exams. But she’s just a bad speller and reader. I really need to help her keep up. I try so hard to get her to read, but she just won’t do it.’

‘Maybe you should back off a bit.’

‘But if I do, she’ll fall further behind.’

Kevin picked a piece of red pepper out of the wok and popped it into his mouth. ‘It’s hard for Jools, with Holly being so bright. She’s always going to be the stupid one. I know how that feels. It was the same with us. You were the smart one and I was thick.’

‘You weren’t thick, just lazy.’

‘I wasn’t lazy, I just wasn’t interested.’ He grinned. ‘But I turned out okay.’

Alice added some spices to the stir-fry. ‘That’s debatable! I just worry about Jools.’

‘Well, stop worrying and give her a break … at least for the next few days. It’s her birthday week, after all, and sweet sixteen on top of that. Anyway, she’s so stunning she can always be a model. Problem solved.’

Alice added some noodles to the wok. ‘She’s five foot three, Kevin! Besides, I want her to go to college, have fun and get some kind of degree. But you’re right, I do need to manage her better. I think from now on I’ll get Ben to do her homework with her. He’s so much more patient than I am, although even he has a breaking-point.’

‘You’re very calm with your patients.’

‘I have to be. But after dealing with other people’s issues
all day, I come home drained and the last thing I want to do is hours of sodding homework.’

‘God, I do not miss schooldays at all. Whoever said they’re the best days of your life was a delusional lunatic.’

‘I actually liked school.’

Kevin groaned. ‘That’s because you had friends and were “normal”. You didn’t get called “steamer” and “arse bandit” on a regular basis.’

Alice was laughing.

‘It’s not funny!’ Kevin cried. ‘Mum kept asking me why they called me “steamer” and I had to say it was because I was a really fast runner – like a steam train.’

At that, they both burst out laughing.

‘Oh, God,’ Alice said, wiping tears from her eyes. ‘Poor Mum. At least they were nice to you when you did come out.’

Kevin snorted. ‘They weren’t exactly thrilled.’

‘They were just from a different generation, so it was hard for them initially, but they were supportive.’

‘I know,’ Kevin admitted. ‘They were good. When I see how some of my friends were disowned and thrown out of home, I had it easy.’

Alice got five plates out of the cupboard. ‘Our parents’ generation had a very different upbringing. They lived in fear of the Church. It wasn’t easy for them. We were lucky. We grew up questioning everything and having our own opinions from an early age.’

‘Thank God for that.’

‘Thank God for what?’ Jools asked, as she walked in, still wearing her silver jeans and hoodie.

‘I’m just telling your mum how lucky she is to have such a gorgeous and fabulous daughter,’ Kevin said.

Jools’s face lit up. ‘Really?’

She was so beautiful and young and innocent. Alice
realized Kevin was right: she
was
too hard on her. She just didn’t want her daughter to leave school with nothing.

‘You’re fabulous.’ Alice smiled at her.

Jools pulled the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands. ‘Okay, what are you about to tell me? Is my party cancelled? Am I in trouble for something?’

Alice went over and put her arms around her daughter. ‘No. I just think you’re wonderful and I don’t tell you enough.’

Jools squirmed and wriggled away from her mother. ‘Enough of the mushy stuff. What’s for dinner?’

Ben rushed his shower and hurried to get dressed so he wouldn’t be late home again. But as he was about to leave the hospital, a nurse called after him to tell him that John Lester had phoned. ‘He said it was important and asked you to call him back.’

Ben frowned. John Lester? What did he want? John Lester was a total maverick. He was always taking time out to go to conflict zones with Médecins Sans Frontières and other humanitarian organizations. The last Ben had heard, John was in Eritrea to train surgeons there.

Hang on! Maybe he wanted Ben to go with him on one of his trips. How exciting. Maybe this was his chance to do something stimulating. Ben had never done any humanitarian trips, mainly because of Alice. After her parents had been killed, she was a nervous wreck every time he left the house or if she couldn’t locate the girls for more than five seconds. Thankfully, over the years her anxiety and panic had dissipated, but she still would not be happy to hear that Ben was off to some far-flung corner of the world.

Nonetheless, Ben felt a surge of excitement. Sure, it might mean the cold shoulder for a while, but if this call from John Lester turned out to be an opportunity to do something exhilarating, he was bloody well going to do it. Life was too short.

John picked up on the first ring. ‘Ben?’

‘I’m returning your call.’

‘Good man. Right, I’ll get straight to the point. I was due to fly to Eritrea on Wednesday to operate on the minister of health, Negasi Kidane. I met him when I was over there setting up a training programme. Anyway, I’ve broken my leg. Bloody nuisance. Slid on the steps outside the house yesterday morning. I can’t go now but the poor man needs surgery. Bloody great tumour in the colon. Needs to come out. Can you fly to Eritrea on Wednesday? You’ll need to stay for post-op care. I’d like you to take my intern, Declan, with you. He’s Irish, a bit of a livewire, but huge potential. I think he’ll go a long way.’

Ben’s head was reeling. Eritrea on Wednesday! That gave him two days to clear his schedule and persuade Alice that it wasn’t the worst idea in the world. His heart was racing. This was exactly what he’d been looking for – adventure, change, something new, exciting and challenging – and it had dropped out of the sky into his lap. It was meant to be. Nothing and no one would prevent him going.

‘I’d love to go, John. Thanks for thinking of me.’

‘Good man. I’m afraid I’m stuck at home, so could you pop over? I can talk you through Kidane’s history and show you the X-rays. I’ll get Declan to come, too, so you can get acquainted. We’ll need to change the name on the ticket and I’ll let the Eritreans know you’re coming in my stead.’

Ben’s heart was beating faster. ‘No problem, John. I’m just getting onto my bike now. Can I call in on my way home?’

‘Excellent! No time like the present. I’ll call Declan right now. See you when you get here.’

John Lester hung up and Ben punched the air. Eritrea here I come, he thought. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect – except for missing Jools’s birthday. He knew the Cambridge post was going to cause too much trouble at
home, with Alice and the girls. In any case, it would put a lot of extra pressure on Alice if he were away so much during the week. But this one-off opportunity would be great, and maybe others would come up once people heard he was prepared to travel for his work.

One or two of these interesting trips a year would keep him going. He made a mental note to get in touch with Médecins Sans Frontières when he got back. This was Fate. Ben strode purposefully towards the hospital entrance. He felt brighter, happier and more alive than he had in a very long time.

As he cycled towards John Lester’s house, he was mentally organizing his schedule around the week he was going to need off. John had been clear about Ben staying to make sure that the minister’s operation had gone smoothly and that there were no complications afterwards. On the off-chance that something did occur, Ben wanted enough time to deal with any post-op issues, however small. He wanted to prove himself on this mission. A week should be adequate to make sure the minister was recovering well.

Cycling home, Ben prepared himself for Alice’s reaction to his Eritrean trip. He knew it wasn’t going to be good. They’d been arguing quite a bit lately, partly because he’d been so restless and distracted, but he wished Alice didn’t always have to react to everything as if it was the end of the world.

He climbed off his bike, removed his helmet, pulled out his key and took a deep breath.

He could hear voices in the kitchen. Damn! Kevin was here. Ben didn’t want to say anything in front of Kevin because his brother-in-law always took Alice’s side. It bothered Ben that Alice discussed so much with him. He felt that some things were private, such as their marriage. But since Kevin had gone to work for Alice two years ago it was even
worse because they saw each other every day and talked about everything. Ben knew Alice complained about him to Kevin when she was fed up. He really didn’t want to take on the two of them when he made his big announcement. But with only two days to departure, he couldn’t be picky about timing – better to get it over and done with.

He squared his shoulders and opened the kitchen door. ‘Hello, everyone,’ he said, in an over-cheery voice.

He bent down to kiss Jools and Holly’s cheeks and Alice’s lips. Then he went to shake Kevin’s hand. ‘Welcome back. I hope New York was good.’

‘It was fantastic, thanks. How are you?’

‘I’m good. Great, actually.’ Turning to Alice, he said, ‘Darling, John Lester has asked me to go to Eritrea for a few days.’

Alice frowned. ‘Eritrea?’

‘Air-it-tray-on? Are you winding us up?’ Kevin said, as Jools giggled.

‘Eritrea is a country in Africa. It borders with Ethiopia,’ Holly said.

‘Thank you, Holly.’ Ben ruffled her hair as he watched Alice’s face.

‘Ethiopia!’ Alice’s voice was shrill. ‘Jesus, Ben.’

‘It’s fine. It’s not dangerous.’

‘The war with Ethiopia ended in 2000.’

Everyone stared at Holly.

‘How in God’s name do you know that?’ Kevin wondered.

‘Because she eats books,’ Jools reminded him.

‘I don’t eat them, I read them. I read about it in the library when I finished my homework.’

‘How long are you going for?’ Kevin asked Ben.

‘Oh, just a few days, a week at the most. I’m operating on the minister of health. It’s fairly straightforward.’

Alice stood up abruptly. ‘Ben, can I have a word in private, please? Kevin, can you make sure the girls finish their dinner.’

‘Uh-oh, someone’s in for a bollocking,’ Jools drawled, as Alice nudged Ben out of the kitchen and into the lounge.

Alice closed the door and turned on Ben. ‘Is this some kind of a joke? Are you trying to wind me up? Eritrea, Ben? Seriously?’

Ben knew it was vital that he remain calm and firm. ‘Alice, it’s perfectly safe. I’m flying in with John Lester’s registrar – he’s actually Irish. I’m going to operate – it’s a fairly straightforward tumour in the colon – and then I’ll stay for a couple of days to make sure the patient’s on the mend before I fly home.’

‘Eritrea is not safe. Anything could happen.’

‘Alice, you’d hardly heard of Eritrea before now, so how do you know it’s not safe?’

‘Because it’s beside bloody Ethiopia and, according to Holly, they had a war and what’s to say it won’t kick off again? Besides, Africa in general is not safe or stable. Anything could happen.’

Ben put his hands on his wife’s shoulders. ‘Alice, calm down. Don’t make a big deal about nothing. It’s a simple operation and I’ll be back within the week.’

Alice shrugged him off. ‘You’re not going.’

‘What?’

‘You’re not going. You’re not allowed to put yourself at risk. You have a wife and two kids. You have responsibilities, Ben. You can’t just decide to head off to dangerous places whenever you feel like it.’

Ben could feel anger creeping up from his stomach through his chest. ‘Alice, I am going to Eritrea. I am fully
aware of my responsibilities and I take them very seriously, but you won’t stop me going on this trip.’

‘Yes, I will.’

Ben gritted his teeth. ‘No, you are not. I need this. I need to do something different. It’s an opportunity to shake things up a bit.’

‘Why do you need to shake things up? What’s wrong with your life?’

Ben paced up and down. ‘I’m a bit restless and this is a good opportunity to do something different. John told me he goes over and trains the surgeons there once a year. I’d like to do that with him in the future.’

Alice frowned. ‘So you’re planning on going to Africa once a year now?’

‘I’m hoping to, yes. Africa or anywhere else where they need local surgeons to be trained.’

‘Why?’ Alice asked, her eyes filling.

‘Because I just feel … I need something else.’

‘Why aren’t we enough for you?’ Alice was crying now.

Ben felt bad. He went over and put his arms around her. ‘You are, darling. You and the girls mean everything to me. This has nothing to do with you. I just feel the need to push myself a bit, shake things up work-wise.’

Alice wiped the tears from her face with her hands. ‘I took a different path in my career so I could put our family first. I didn’t plan to end up being a GP. I wanted to specialize in oncology. But it’s what you do when you have kids. You give up certain goals to spend time with them. They’ll be gone at eighteen.’

Ben sighed. ‘I’m not asking a lot, Alice. A week here or there helping others isn’t a big deal.’

‘I just don’t understand why you’re so restless. It’s freaking me out. We have everything we dreamt of. Why do you need more?’

Ben looked at his lovely wife. She was right: they had a beautiful home, two healthy daughters and good careers, but it just wasn’t enough for him. He needed something else. He wanted more. Maybe he was selfish, but he couldn’t help how he felt. His life seemed mundane and monotonous. He needed this trip.

‘I can’t really explain it. Maybe it’s turning forty-five – I don’t know. But this opportunity has come at the right time. I’m excited about it. I haven’t felt that in a while.’

Alice rolled her eyes. ‘I suppose a week in Eritrea is better than an affair.’

‘It’ll be totally safe. We’ll be very well cared for. After all, we’ll be operating on a senior government official.’

‘Make sure you don’t kill him.’ Alice walked back towards the kitchen.

‘I will.’

‘Oh, and Ben?’ Alice turned around. ‘You can leave your mid-life crisis in Eritrea. I want a happy husband after this trip.’